so far the snek is the best actor so far.

#Monsterdon #WrongInvader

"Think of the power I will have HA!"

Love it, like a video game character

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Zarkorr song not on Spotify, I can't put it on my Halloween playlist 😔

Wow, I forgot that the Yeti theme song was like a disco/funk version of O Fortuna.

#Monsterdon

that movie was nice and short though, got to give it a point for that

#Monsterdon

Now with a Godfrey Ho picture we know for certain that he just took the monster footage from one movie and glued some extra scenes onto it to make a movie.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiantSerpent

Whew, so that was like... five? minutes of solid kaiju footage wrapped in 70 minutes of SciFi Channel-level crap. And we didn't even get the fairy returning to tell the guy he'd done a good job!

I'm gonna fuck off into space for the night too. G'night #monsterdon and see y'all next week!

lol, once the after movie feature looks better than the main......did Zarkorr have Kung Fu?

#Monsterdon

@kcarr2015 @combatwombat Indeed, and also seemed like one of the more competent actors in this one

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

More monster in the closing credits than in the whole movie! :gummyeyes:
#monsterdon #zarkorr1996

Love how they're belting this rock anthem over recaps as if we had just watched a good movie. Were Hilary Pugh and J Fuzzbee Morse ever heard from again?

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

@combatwombat I like to imagine they fell in love and went on a killing spree in the badlands.

#Monsterdon

Miniature Effects Crew, thank you. You're the only people here I still respect #Monsterdon

"Zarkorr"s are doin' in for themselves #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader
#ZarkorrTheInvader1996

Okay but how was that a solution only he could think of/apply? Does postal employee training provide some kind of beam reflection bonus? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon FUCK OFF Zarkorr gets his own theme song?!? Five stars

Here. The ending theme. The only good part of the movie outside of the very rare kaiju effects shots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeuNPW_wVh0
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

All it took to vanquish Zarkorr was a vanity mirror? 🤔

#monsterdon #zarkorr #zarkorr1996

alien mind projections lying in mall fountains and distributing calls to action is not a viable system of government

#Monsterdon

This movie does not deserve a song that goes this hard #monsterdon

#monsterdon Why did the movie even have a tiny girl?'

@xerozohar Legit the best piece of music in the film. I know that's a low bar, but still. #Monsterdon

Zarkorr, Giant of the 20th Century-Stand

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

Lazering myself is one of my turn-offs

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

@north @Bluedepth it's the second one we've seen tonight! #Monsterdon

oh, hey, called it.

#monsterdon

Next question: Would that have been the better movie?

#Monsterdon

If tiny Buffy doesn’t show up at the end to award Tommy with a medal, imma be pissed.

#Monsterdon

Tommy has grabbed the giant egg and is now using it as a shield to repel the lasers. Eventually the lasers reflect back into Zarkorr and he disintegrates himself.

In the next scene, Tommy is in a hospital bed and Dr. Steph says "you did it you saved the world" and the news person is interviewing him.

#monsterdon

🦖MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ CATACLYSMIC TRIVIA 🌏🔥

What happened to the Zarkorr costume?
There has been no confirmed public exhibition or sale of the original costume. Its current whereabouts remain unknown, and it is likely still in private hands or lost to time. (Low budget movies of this time often trashed costumes like this.)

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon this song rips and this movie did not earn it at ALL

At least it was brief

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

Wasn't the real Zarkorr the friends we made along the way?
Spefically, several of the actors?

#monsterdon #zarkorrtheinvader1996

Why did they write this song?

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

#monsterdon We don't even get a final thought from the tiny girl?

No "Good job Earthling, I knew you could do it. -wink-" or something like that?

I've played video games in the 90s with more convincing final scenes

"Running for President?"

Oh fuck off

#Monsterdon

Ok, I guess we got something worse than "Vampires at Bikini Beach". #Monsterdon always surprising us!
#zarkorr1996

he's firin' him lazers

#monsterdon

@Bluedepth I'd be curious to see the ratio of monsters fuckering off to space

#Monsterdon

Pacing problems.
#monsterdon

Oh, is that it?

That cop is nuts

#Monsterdon

[lasers pewing]

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

Anyway, after our other party members leave, Tommy takes the wheel and floors it into the city where Zarkorr is smashing things. He leaves the car and stares down Zarkorr and yells at him, invoking the ancient code of "come at me bro".

Zarkorr shoots laser at him but misses because his eyeball aim is bad I guess.

#monsterdon

They should find the bin that big lid goes to and put this movie in it

#Monsterdon

... why did those normal pistols sound like lasers

#monsterdon

Zarkorr could also just walk around the buildings too.

#monsterdon #zarkorr #zarkorr1996

@cocaine_owlbear oh god damn it

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

#monsterdon Zarkorr has a bad case of laryngitis. So much wheezing…

Love how buildings are pre-emptively exploding before Zarky gets to them

#Monsterdon

While driving to Zarkorr we get stopped at a roadblock. The dumb cop pretends he has a mother in the town which has been evacuated offscreen. The roadblock cops get suspicious of all the nonsense and tell them to leave the car.

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe I did say amateur :3

#monsterdon

OMG we actually have live actors green-screened with the Kaiju footage!

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

We now rejoin the destruction of Cardboardopolis already in progress

#Monsterdon

We checked and your mother is deaf. She's wanted for unsolicited jam poetry in five counties

#Monsterdon

Poor Zarkorr just want fren and skritches.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon He's driving into an evacuation zone! Shoot him!

For his own safety!

@davesdogmaggie that would take a lot of amphetamines, surely? #Monsterdon

@diazona ...wait, that's some iterations of mecha-godzilla among other things

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

Is he going to use his extensive knowledge of postal codes to save the day?

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

The dumb cop baffles the Sheriff with nonsense, and it is super effective. He takes the Sheriff's belt as a trophy and we use it to secure the giant egg into our trunk, because it won't quite fit.

Dr. Steph tries to figure out what they're going to do next, and Tommy, doing his best stoic resignation face, says "I've got it covered. Just get me to Zarkorr."

#Monsterdon

STOMP STOMP STOMP !

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👽️👾👦🧚‍♀️🥊🫣 😱

Is Zarkorr a doctor or is he also perfectly average for his planet? Or Newark? Or California? Where is Zarkorr from?

@diazona @CactuarJoe

If only there hadn't been film development....

#Monsterdon
#Zarkorr1996

Zarkorr has the best monologues.

#Monsterdon #TeamZarkorr

More yelling!
#monsterdon

"What are you? Some kind of a god damned question asker??" best line so far
#monsterdon

I must admit, by this point I'm kinda rooting for Zarkorr. #monsterdon

@CactuarJoe Character development seems like too much to expect from this movie

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

@diazona We could always find another Frankenstein movie

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

What if the monster is also a doctor?

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

I mean, terminal velocity impact with the ground didn't cause it to explode but, sure, being picked up might #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader
#ZarkorrTheInvader1996

"George, it won't fit"

That's what she said

#Monsterdon

"I need an old cops' belt, NOW!"

#Monsterdon

Oh my gosh, this patriotic bullshit
#monsterdon
#zarkorr1996

#monsterdon Shirley, you're kidding. Don’t call me, surely.

Nobody has seen a badge and are just accepting these people on their word.

Enough Human drama now, more Monster

Evangelical Cop sounds very proto-MAGA

#Monsterdon

Well shoot folks, we're just a simple one-geologist town

#Monsterdon

The Aurora Monster??
From Aurora Mountain, Aurora California? In Aurora County?
#monsterdon

We could so easily have been able to see Zarkorr smash some things in full resolution, but nooooo, gotta watch it on a crappy TV in a crappy movie

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

COMEDY!
Why aren't you laughing?
#monsterdon

It's vitally important that we see every second of them stepping under police tape or else we might have to show the kaiju doing something #monsterdon

@cptbutton 15 mins

#Monsterdon

You can lower your production budget quite easily by forsaking needless expenses such as lighting

#Monsterdon

So... would you consider that "meeting the oracle"? Or should I not be performing a hero's journey analysis on this mess?
#monsterdon

@Bluedepth

or Twin Peaks maybe

I wonder if the diner has great pie.

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

#monsterdon The cop is touched and special.

Earth's first MiBs? And it's _these_ goons?

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

haven't really been watching except for when i hear a kaiju scene happening, but why on earth was the cop made a main character. does the chosen one even have any powers or cool stuff #monsterdon

This problem solving scene was more familiar when it was in main engineering.
#Monsterdon

We decide that the monster has an off switch of some kind and we must study what happened when the monster appeared to figure out how to access it.

After looking at a rotating 3D model of a weather satellite and a wireframe mountain, the "cybernaut" breaks a law and then further annoys the audience, then we find some point where a bunch of radars failed at the same time that means something.

#monsterdon

Apparently, “on" switches cause earthquakes, which is why we’re looking at seismic data.

#Monsterdon

Please can this hacker just stop talking. #monsterdon

@Binder They may know tautaulogy, but they don't know topology #monsterdon

Sound guy got the day off and took the boom mics with them. #monsterdon

“It only gets progressively worse” #Monsterdon

@bunnyhero I'm ok with them spending their money on knocking over buildings.

#Monsterdon

We interrupt this godawful piece of shit for a much more exciting movie about a giant monster wrecking stuff #monsterdon

"It only gets progressively worse" It does. It really does. #monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

What this Zarkorr movies needs is more Zarkorr.

#monsterdon #zarkorr #zarkorr1996

Oh god, walk away five seconds and we're deep into the ableism, "torts are bad," and environmentalist only care about rare owls tropes. That's really 1990's. #Monsterdon