I saw you on TV and I'm not a stalker.
#monsterdon sterdon

I do not like the Protagonists hair, it reminds of that awful Supreme Court judge who's a drunk

#Monsterdon

I'm not a mailman, I'm a postal employee. There's a difference! #monsterdon

This feels like the movie #monsterdon viewers would make if someone gave us enough money.

The holographic girl asks Tommy to take notes and exhaustively explains that Zarkorr is immune to Earthly weapons but Tommy can defeat him somehow. Also Zarkorr is headed toward Tommy to squish him but contains the key to his own destruction.

Tommy tells the hologram girl that her species is being a bunch of dicks, she replies that they are superior being so they can be assholes. Then she tells him to hurry up and vanishes.

#monsterdon

"So how do I defeat Zarkorr?"

"That's the neat part. You don't"

#monsterdon

Nice, just when I was wondering what Zarkor was up to

is this pacing? 🦋

#Monsterdon

@xerozohar

It was the 90s. Tiny holograms & gangster rappers from Houston were all saying "sWords"

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

Love a movie with commercial breaks built-in

#monsterdon

"We can offer you no assistance what so ever"

How Western of them, the irony

#Monsterdon

Hot Zarkorrs rapidly approaching your location.

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

"Zarkorr cannot be defeated."

*roll credits*

#Monsterdon

I appreciate that the movie is just doing pure exposition to explain absolutely everything to avoid any kind of storytelling. That means I don't have to pay attention. #monsterdon

"Are you ok?" asked the tiny woman alien buffy

#monsterdon

Once again, this is Debbie Downerson, reporting live.
#monsterdon

"Are you functional now?"

FULLY functional <3

#Monsterdon

he big

#monsterdon

You'll notice the human like arms, and the foam latex head.
#monsterdon

"Literally knocking buildings down" as opposed to the well used metaphor

#Monsterdon

I love the reasoning that the aliens selected Tommy because he had a completely average chance to defeat the invader relative to all other humans.

#monsterdon

Stan, Elizabeth, I'm here live in my Columbo cosplay

#Monsterdon

You think they got the actual local news to these scenes? Sure feels like it. #Monsterdon

"Is there Life after Death?"

Confidentially says NO.....this IS an advanced civilisation!

#Monsterdon

A lot of factors are combining to make this seem a lot like an episode of Power Rangers

#monsterdon

on the plus side, hell yes movie with a protagonist who is a postal deliverer but also this is a whole lot of nope

#Monsterdon

Now he can channel all that postal rage into something beneficial.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader 🦖

Could we get a rewrite on "tiny teenage mall tramp"?

#monsterdon

MO SU RA

#Monsterdon

"Why are you here?"

And when is the walrus due?

#Monsterdon

Am I the only one who thought that TV was a miniature until dude stood beside it?

I'm still skeptical.

#Monsterdon

That's not one of the fairies!

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

@CactuarJoe @moira Little known fact: 94% of outer space is in British Columbia

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

Not a bad miniature city, actually. I'm kinda shocked. #Monsterdon

Meanwhile in the nearby opening to an HBO movie. #monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

the dude looking at his can of booze for a moment looked like he was getting his phone out to take pictures

#Monsterdon

Goodness, what a quick reveal

I hope he doesn't trip over the opening credits

#Monsterdon

Launching my #monsterdon thread for Zarkorr! The Invader! A movie that I guess is about a guy named Zarkorr who invades something. It's from the 90s.

Monsterdon is the thing where we watch an old monster movie every week and make fun of it. As is tradition, I will be unreliably summarizing the entire movie. Mute the hash tag if you don't want to see millions of posts by everyone about this Zarkorr movie.

#Zarkorr1996

Avalanche is about. Business continues below.
#monsterdon

The Avalanches Since I Left You

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

It's gonna be a movie filled with minatures alright. #monsterdon

@trixter a sign of quality #Monsterdon

This is some good music and interesting title font.

Are we sure this isn't going to be a space/robot movie?

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

90s Star Trek font.

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

@aspeed superbad!

#Monsterdon

Why do you have so many boxes of oranges? Are you a fruit resaler? I thought that was your garage.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent

"I'm sure that's just a coincidental gigantic snake that's always with her" #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleDeature #ThunderOfGiganticSerpent

LOL, she came back for the end of #Zarkorr after all. She couldn’t stay away from this fine film. #Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

@diazona #Monsterdon #WrongInvader

They should have used more of the budget on the screenplay.

@diazona the magic rock movie was better, but this one is keeping my interest. Which is more than I can say for Zarkorr.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent

this movie was making sense but all of a sudden it got confusing.

#Monsterdon #WrongInvader

@strangefour Puggle Kaiju #monsterdon

Yellow coat dude really dragged out that death

#Monsterdon

This guy really WALKS down concrete walkways....like a PRO

#Monsterdon

If I'm ever a gangster, my hideout's gonna be somewhere that people feel comfortable slow-dancing.

#Monsterdon #WrongInvader

@WastelandWandrr he make think being a giant is cool but has he thought it through? what about the toilet situation? what clothes would he wear? He will regret taking the formuler #Monsterdon

wait, why doesn't Muzzler get its own Fing food, it's big enough now

#Monsterdon #WrongInvader

@Terencio exactly! Everyone would be at your door, you'd never get any quiet....it's a monkey's paw situation

#Monsterdon

Kinda want to go grass skiing now......

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou #Monsterdon #WrongInvader

with Infinite Power come Infinite Responsibilities

"I must have infinite power!"

Ah, you'd only waste it, they always do....

#Monsterdon

Noticing a theme of "Children irresponsibly unleash kaiju on the Adult world" tonight

#Monsterdon #Miru

Giant snakes sound like crows, that's just science #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleDeature #ThunderOfGiganticSerpent

Is she asking the snek if its muslim?

#Monsterdon #WrongInvader

@wyatt_h_knott #Monsterdon #WrongInvader

The movie's actually pretty entertaining so far...

@ramsey you have some questions to answer for this! #Monsterdon

I would have liked her pink angora jumper as well back then, but that would not have been allowed 😞

#Monsterdon

Oh wow. I remember those grass skis!

#Monsterdon

Why are people dying over this giant frog, is it symbolic?

#Monsterdon

@Binder

Return to Sender?

#Monsterdon

Terrorists attacking a science facility with monster experiments going on? Did Godzilla vs Biollante rip this off? Oh fuck no. Nobody at Toho ever heard of this crap. But it's funny to compare.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiantSerpent

"....and clear my browser history!"

#Monsterdon #WrongInvader

Honestly, Zarkorr could only dream of these action sequences!

#Monsterdon

loving the frog enlargement

#Monsterdon

Dr T pities the fool #Monsterdon #ThunderOfGiganticSerpent

"I have a right to know! I'm a scientist!" I'll try that next time.

#Monsterdon #WrongInvader

so far the snek is the best actor so far.

#Monsterdon #WrongInvader

"Think of the power I will have HA!"

Love it, like a video game character

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Zarkorr song not on Spotify, I can't put it on my Halloween playlist 😔

Wow, I forgot that the Yeti theme song was like a disco/funk version of O Fortuna.

#Monsterdon

that movie was nice and short though, got to give it a point for that

#Monsterdon

Now with a Godfrey Ho picture we know for certain that he just took the monster footage from one movie and glued some extra scenes onto it to make a movie.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiantSerpent

Whew, so that was like... five? minutes of solid kaiju footage wrapped in 70 minutes of SciFi Channel-level crap. And we didn't even get the fairy returning to tell the guy he'd done a good job!

I'm gonna fuck off into space for the night too. G'night #monsterdon and see y'all next week!

lol, once the after movie feature looks better than the main......did Zarkorr have Kung Fu?

#Monsterdon

@kcarr2015 @combatwombat Indeed, and also seemed like one of the more competent actors in this one

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

More monster in the closing credits than in the whole movie! :gummyeyes:
#monsterdon #zarkorr1996

Love how they're belting this rock anthem over recaps as if we had just watched a good movie. Were Hilary Pugh and J Fuzzbee Morse ever heard from again?

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

@combatwombat I like to imagine they fell in love and went on a killing spree in the badlands.

#Monsterdon

Miniature Effects Crew, thank you. You're the only people here I still respect #Monsterdon

"Zarkorr"s are doin' in for themselves #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader
#ZarkorrTheInvader1996

Okay but how was that a solution only he could think of/apply? Does postal employee training provide some kind of beam reflection bonus? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon FUCK OFF Zarkorr gets his own theme song?!? Five stars

Here. The ending theme. The only good part of the movie outside of the very rare kaiju effects shots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeuNPW_wVh0
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

All it took to vanquish Zarkorr was a vanity mirror? 🤔

#monsterdon #zarkorr #zarkorr1996

alien mind projections lying in mall fountains and distributing calls to action is not a viable system of government

#Monsterdon

This movie does not deserve a song that goes this hard #monsterdon

#monsterdon Why did the movie even have a tiny girl?'

@xerozohar Legit the best piece of music in the film. I know that's a low bar, but still. #Monsterdon

Zarkorr, Giant of the 20th Century-Stand

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

Lazering myself is one of my turn-offs

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

@north @Bluedepth it's the second one we've seen tonight! #Monsterdon