@JoeWynne they have an OnlyFans account now #Monsterdon

RE: https://me.dm/@kshernandez/116830774248064480

Well I'll be darned!

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader 🦖

I did not actually know that we'd be watching a kaiju flick for #Monsterdon when I wrote my "Daria and Jane survive Godzilla" #fanfiction series

https://archiveofourown.org/series/6256076

Anyway, this concludes my #monsterdon thread for Zarkorr. Until next time, um... remember not to kidnap anyone even if a holographic faerie from space tells you to. Unless doing so will save the world I guess. But usually doing that probably won't save the world.

#monsterdon

RE: https://retro.pizza/@CactuarJoe/116830968846249935

Us Monsterdon voters always bully ourselves with movie choices.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

I would love it if Zarkorr actually got teleported away, not killed, and now becomes the star of a weekly cartoon where he has to go around the universe fighting evil

As long as nobody involved with this movie has anything to do with it

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

This was a movie thrown together by one of the "Completion Bond" companies you see in credits listings, right?

#Monsterdon
#Zarkorr1996

@srol

🏹

What to tell newbies

Welcome to the #Monsterdon channel.

ZARKORRRRRRRRRRRR ~/o

#monsterdon

Whenever we watch schlock we seem to bifurcate. Expectations mismatch I think.

That was not cinema, but I liked it. I also hated some of it, but overall I liked it.

#Monsterdon

Felt like we needed more of the unhelpful mall tramp alien

#Monsterdon

@gblues lol, more hostages... #Monsterdon

The end credits plot summary song isn't even a rap? What was the point of any of this??

#Monsterdon

President? Could be worse. Thanks #monsterdon ers. Tomorrow #mondayactionmovie has some top shelf 80's Canadian film making. I don't know if it's in 4K, but can dream.....Take care. See ya soon.

I can think of worse presidents

At this point I'd vote for Zarkorr! tbh

....also, this Zarkorr theme song was the best part, hands down

hands shaking

🤝

pleased to meetcha

#Monsterdon

So the superior aliens basically found a beta and sent him on a scavenger hunt, am I understanding that correctly?

#Monsterdon

Well that was delightfully short. It's got a pretty groovy closing credits song too. Thanks as always to @Taweret for hosting. Have a great week Beautiful Mutants. #monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

"Hi, I'm Zarkorr. I'm still in this movie, but I don't know why! I'll just keep eatin' buildings until they stop me. It's real dark in my scenes, but I assure you I'm here! Just listen to my roars!"

Why did this guy just grab a woman & carry her off?

Finally, they meet. Giant monster. Tommy. Love at first sight. Well, laser vision at first sight, which is just like love but HOTTER.

OK, so now Tommy can lift an entire half a pod by himself. Sure.

#monsterdon #zarkorr #zarkorr1996

♫ Zarkorr! Zarkorr! ♫

#Monsterdon

I called it 10 minutes ago. #monsterdon

Actual denoument? What a rare treat for #Monsterdon

I think some of y'all were too mean to this, it was pretty good for a direct-to-video joint IMO

@strangefour ABSOLUTELY wondering if the giant monster footage was some student project

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

#monsterdon So, Zarkorr just... fuckered off into space…

....And ACTION

#Monsterdon

"please, the key to your own destruction, take it"

#Monsterdon

tuning back in in hopes that there is at least some good kaiju fights. not sure if they have even established some kind of means of fighting it, but my headcanon at least is just that this guy is walking up to it and going to try and fistfight it like every mediocre guy thinks they can win a fistfight with a bear and so on #monsterdon

Stephanie's only expertise after the interview was in meeting that hacker, right?

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

Dodge roll, Arthur! Dodge roll like your life depends on it! #Monsterdon

We get another scene of Zarkorr smashing up a city because the audience hasn't seen one of those for a while.

#monsterdon

Did they just drive from NJ to AZ and back?

#Monsterdon

Zarkorr hates cardboard miniatures!

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

Good to see they were thrown around the National Security thing before 9/11.
#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

I can't believe it!!!!

Zarkorr?!? In A Zarkorr movie?!?!?!

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

LOL when the dumb cop asks the sheriff "What are you, some kind of question asker?"

#monsterdon

I wonder what the tiny lady is up to

#monsterdon

Holy shit. It's a 4th of July movie. #monsterdon

The Arizonans discover a giant metallic looking space egg that crashed into the roof of a diner, but its harder than diamond and no one figured out how to open it.

Because a weird idea is better than no idea, Tommy decides that we should move it into their car.

#monsterdon

This came out before Men in Black.
#monsterdon

It’s time to penetrate this thing

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

How did they get matching Men in Black costumes so fast?

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

Maybe this will have some super clever twist ending. I'm not holding my breath. #monsterdon

"Monster Report" was a jazz fusion outfit out of Tokyo...

#Monsterdon

I've never been so grateful for a commercial break

#Monsterdon

Authentic Yuma, Arizona accent

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

Zarkorr needs to lean in and shake some hands

#Monsterdon

uh-oh, the cop is an Evangelical...

#Monsterdon

Midnight clothes change into federal suits. #Monsterdon

One of those 24/7 Internet FBI suit stores I guess...

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon What if Cris Carter's The Lone Gunmen but even more repulsive (Zarkorr! The Invader)

I think character actor in this movie means you have to use a funny voice. #monsterdon

This scene is punishment

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

“You ever see that movie with Linda Blair? The one where she turns her head around and vomits pea soup?”

#Monsterdon

if letting the monster destroy humanity is the only way to shut this guy up then we don't have much choice

#monsterdon

The pop culture quotes are definitely accurate for the character

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

Too bad there weren't enough microphones for all the actors.
#monsterdon

#monsterdon I think the wheelchair guy has Tourettes.

I wonder what Newark's up to

#Monsterdon

this is one of the hells isn't it?

#Monsterdon

Gonna get access to the top secret military weather forecasts.

#monsterdon

@combatwombat noticeable, wasn't it? #Monsterdon

Maybe we got this Zarkorr guy all wrong. Maybe he just hates miniatures made at wildly inconsistent scales.

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

The team are putting their brains together so obviously the Cop is nowhere to be seen...bringing down that average...

#Monsterdon

@Anima and the smell, my gods, can you imagine?

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

#monsterdon What's with the male and female symbols rotating on that screen... I don't care, but it's odd. Like... everything else.

This is like some late-arriving Reagan-era fuck-the-EPA-ism

#Monsterdon

At this rate, Zarkorr will have decimated an entire rural area within mere months

#Monsterdon

@ohiofi "Hot Kaiju Singles In Your Area" #Monsterdon

@bunnyhero I've been called wo$$@@÷#!××1101011//53#@×<>]]<< #monsterdon

I get the impression this guy is ad-libbing all his lines, and the rest just have to go along with whatever he says.

#Monsterdon

Wow this hacker is a Scum Bag™

#Monsterdon

Commercial break?

#Monsterdon

He’s going to weaponize cyber bullying against Zarkorr

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

MORE SPINNING MARS AND VENUS SYMBOLS
#monsterdon

To visualize the hacker character, just imagine the phrase "We have Dr. Stephen Hawking at home."

#monsterdon

Oh good it's been all of ten minutes since I experienced contact embarrassment >_> #Monsterdon

Cyber-sail the Planet! ✊

#Monsterdon

This is one of those rare movies that doesn't have a single character you're rooting for. #monsterdon

@CactuarJoe Budget Lone GunMAN.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader 🦖

And we're in the backrooms of the old MST3K set.

#Monsterdon #XarkorrTheInvader1996

Do cop cars normally carry explosives with them?

"I'm not dangerous, and I'm not crazy"

that's an opinion

#Monsterdon

The postal worker knows the word "tautology"?
#monsterdon

Ah yes, *the* warehouse district in New Jersey

#monsterdon

@wyatt_h_knott @bunnyhero True!

Do you know how long it takes to make one of those?

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader 🦖

I appreciate how Dr. Steph is just in survival mode for this movie and realizes that she has to just pretend to agree with whatever weird thing Tommy and the dumb cop say.

#monsterdon

@blue It wasn't said clearly the first time, but I think the explanation they inserted later is that it's a test of humanity, so the test has to be passed by the median person

#Monsterdon

When you see “Quincy” show up on screen, that’s Ben Ramsey, the screenwriter, who wrote the live action Dragonball Z movie.

Edit: and he’s most definitely not me!

#Monsterdon

This movie is holding me hostage

#Monsterdon

WHY ARE YOU KEEPING THE HOSTAGE YOU HAVE A COP JUST WHAT I MEAN WHAT

...I wonder if Zarkorr's weakness is plot holes

#Monsterdon

Oh fuck yeah Zarkorr has laser eyes.

#monsterdon

"Larry, I love you like an older brother" pretty shady George

#Monsterdon

Wait, why does the kaiju need to be defeated by the person with the median ability to defeat it?

#Monsterdon

oh, hey Mulder

#monsterdon

The police use logic. It's not very effective.

#monsterdon

No, professor, I didn't watch the film, but I did read almost all the #monsterdon posts the last time they watched it!

For a monster that can't be defeated with guns there are sure nothing but guns in this movie

#Monsterdon

No Larry! I want to believe!

#Monsterdon #TeamZarkorr

Zirconium The Invader

#monsterdon

You won't believe me (just like nobody believes this guy) but I've had an idea for a story about a dead average human for a while. But the dead average human is female, yo. or maybe intersex.

#monsterdon
#zarkorrtheinvader1996

Finally I understand why all the Godzilla movies have journalist characters

#Monsterdon

Some cops show up to back up the news station security and apprehend Tommy. They stand outside the bathroom door with a gun. Steph explains that he's a postal worker, which gives the cops pause. Tommy almost-politely asks if he can use the doctor as a human shield and has her open the door so he can point a gun at a cop.

#monsterdon