nobody notices the mailman #Monsterdon

Maybe Zarkorr just needs a hug.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

#Monsterdon 👽️👾👦🧚‍♀️🥊🫣 😱

If our society sorted our people by superiority Zarkorr could have used a really efficient algorithm to find him.

Crisco zoologist: mmmmmmm

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

Southern California blonde mall teens *were* superior beings who could get away with anything in the '90's #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader
#ZarkorrTheInvader1996

Ok, so let's solve this along with him. It's not something that any armed forces are working on, but all the elements of it are here on earth.

So are we thinking "magic of friendship" or just some weapon we haven't thought of yet?

#Monsterdon

@Louisa DAMN IT! Now I really want It's Always Sunny vs a kaiju. They don't even need to have a monster the premise alone of them yelling about how to deal with a kaiju would be a great episode.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

My mailman also delivers mail at night.

#Monsterdon

Woo go #Zarkorr ​:explosion:​ #monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

Is he going to go on a quest and meet an eagle, a lion, a cat, and a bull?

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

Sorry, I was doing the laundry as I expected a lot more filler at the start of the movie XD

What is the prophecy that will let them defeat it? I got that only he can do it, and he has to do it fast, and she won't help, and the monster contains the key to it's own destruction. Oh and weapons won't work.

Did I miss anything?

#monsterdon

Of note: it's *still* a MIDI soundtrack

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

@trixter so the aliens live by the Billionaire Techbro moral code? Huh. #Monsterdon

Special effects budget, 90% the Zarkorr suit, 10% the model construction.

#Monsterdon #XarkorrTheInvader1996

@Louisa omg, that would be a fantastic IASIP ep

#monsterdon

I don't think that's how call-signs work…

#monsterdon

#monsterdon you're not gonna keep my attention. Find out what the dinosaur eats and bait it, dude.

I hope Zarkorr is enjoying smashing things on his way to post office guy

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

Any kaiju is drawn to towers. #Monsterdon

Zarkorr might be part Ibex.

#monsterdon #zarkorr #zarkorr1996

"I thought superior beings were supposed to be moral"

"No, superior beings are supposed to be superior"

#monsterdon
#Zarkorr!TheInvader

@socketwench it's got:
✅ situations
✅ comedy

I'm sold. I would absolutely watch a murican 90s sitcom with regular miniature destruction sequences.

#Monsterdon

Those opening credits and music had a real "Terminator 1.5: Judgement Lizard" quality, huh? #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader
#ZarkorrTheInvader1996

#monsterdon The worse the movie, the closer to 1:1 scale the models are.

#Monsterdon 👽👾👦🧚‍♀️🥊🫣 😱

so I guess Zarkorr! walked into the miniatures studio and destroyed all the miniatures, which were helpfully stored at Zarkorr!'s waist level?

RE: https://mastodon.social/@ohiofi/116830755080956772

This might work!

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader 🦖

#monsterdon "The Gang Fights a 180ft Dinosaur"

#Monsterdon

What about F bombs?

Start your fight with a 180-foot dinosaur with a balanced breakfast.

#Monsterdon

You think the poor lighting hides the defects in the suit. It does not. #Monsterdon

You know, fade cuts are a really pointing that this movie has no idea where it's going to end.
#monsterdon
#zarkorr1996

The most direct route to the hero which allows the monster to flex & pose #Monsterdon

Zarkorr just pawn in game of cosmic chess.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

Looks like the guy in the Zarkorr suit is having fun.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

@lysdexic if he truly is the most average man, he’ll still be just their mailman. Drew Carey types never get ahead. #monsterdon

NEWSTATION. JFC!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon but how'm I sposda kill it?!? Stop asking me things! Uuuuuugh my tummy hurts

Burnanating the country side. Burnanating the peasants. Then Zarkorr! comes in the niiiiiiiight!! #monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

And that's how I was taken off the air at my college radio station.

#monsterdon #zarkorr

The fuck he looked right at the camera and we faded out. What is this a TV show? (Yes)

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

#monsterdon I wasn't even supposed to BE HERE today!!

Looking straight at the camera? How gauche

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

The director's poorly disguised fetish - to be hunted by a giant kaiju after being warned by a miniature scantily clad arrogant "superior being" - with little hope of survival. #Monsterdon #zarkorrtheinvader

ZARKORR'S BACK! We love Zarkorr!!
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

Dude, didn't you hear the highly valued lady on TV? It's not a dinosaur! Jeez.

#monsterdon

not a dinosaur

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

Oo, maybe a mirror if ZARKORR contains the key to its own destruction. #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

Well she was spectacularly helpful. Did she maybe recruit like 100 dudes and hope one of them works it out? #monsterdon

"We're superior beings so our moral code allows us to do whatever we want to."

I might need to nope out of this, that was too gross.

#Monsterdon

I am trying very hard not to make a white colonizer joke right now.

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

Yay! Less plot more stomp!

#Monsterdon

My moral code is also that I'm superior to you, letting me do w/e I want to you. That's how morals work. #Monsterdon

Christ, what an asshole

#monsterdon

I love that fade out. Feels like we're watching a sitcom.

#monsterdon #zarkorr

Limited time frame.

Good. Sometimes they forget about that in #Monsterdon movies and then they just...stop.

@Taweret Legend has it that he finally made branch manager at the post office.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader 🦖

@xoagray 90s japansese TVs were the best, trust me. You had no idea what they took from us... until now. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon whatever you do, do not bring HR into this

Tomorrow when I go into the office, I'm gonna say, "Avalanche," just like this guy and see what happens.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

Zarkorr is coming for you!

Is the tiny mall tramp gone now?

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

Don't call HR. They don't know shit about Kaiju. #Monsterdon

"We can offer you no assistance whatever" Does she mean whatsoever? #Monsterdon

HR's about to have a very strange phone call.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

This is a game show for aliens, right? #Monsterdon

@jivens lol nope

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you taste bad or good
So taste good for Zarkorr's sake!

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

No, no stay away from HR, they are only to protect the company. They will not help you. #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

@lysdexic More like John Connor in the 3rd film.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader 🦖

@amyfou They got the rules right with the tape recorder comment, and then just blew it with the pencil. Sheesh. #Monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie you win #monsterdon tonight. 🤣

"Look, this is your Kobiashi Maru. If you survive, you might be admitted to our superior society."
#Monsterdon

“You can’t hide from Zarkorr. Got it?”

This line will come to haunt him later in the movie, I bet.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👽️👾👦🧚‍♀️🥊🫣 😱

I though superior beings were supposed to be morally superior beings..

Me too, movie.

She's a bad DM.

#monsterdon #zarkorr

Do not taunt happy zarkorr ball

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

@apLundell Did he even change the channel?

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader 🦖

what about marshmallow guns?

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

#Monsterdon 👽👾👦🧚‍♀️🥊🫣 😱

is she AI then?

"We're superior beings! So our moral code let us do whatever want to do to you" o rly

#monsterdon

I didn't hear Maser in that list, just saying
#monsterdon   

Predicting we will need children toys (no armed forces weapons from earth) #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

I do like him suggesting a tape recorder so she could again remind us only he can hear her #Monsterdon

Are we going to have to use the power of friendship to defeat Zarkorr? #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

Can't be defeated bu any weapons, coming for you no matter where you are...

This is sounding more and more like the Immortal Snail thing every moment. #Monsterdon

"I'm literally a voice in your head. You should TOTALLY do what I say."

Your honor, I rest my case.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon It's kind of a standard gag to show news reactions from all over the world.

But it's even dumber than usual when it's just showing up on some rando's TV.

"Mon crayon est grand et mon crayon est jaune." ~ Gotcha!

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👽👾👦🧚‍♀️🥊🫣 😱

if she's directly projected in his brain, how can she manipulate objects in the real world?

That’s movie and season one Buffy, btw.

#Monsterdon

Did she just admit she’s a figment of his imagination? #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

So has that guy been hiding under that pile of dust for 22 Megayears? #Monsterdon

He's Sarah Connor?
#Monsterdon

Lol here 📝 #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

"the ring cannot be destroyed by any craft we here possess…" 🙄

#monsterdon

Are you saying Masers won't work‽
#monsterdon   

Screencap request: mall Mothra fairy asking, "Are you functional now?"

#Monsterdon

What if we use a really sharp lego?

#monsterdon #zarkorr

"He's coming directly to you, the shortest way possible. Since the earth is an oblate spheroid, that is an arc along the surface of the planet, not a straight line. You remember your geometry, right?"

#monsterdon

She's Michelle of the Resistance! She can say this only once.

#Monsterdon
#Zarkorr1996

@xoagray

NYC at least in the 90s had cable channels for dozens of languages

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr