@xerozohar Seems kind of unfair! Also like something you can and should say no to!

#monsterdon #karkorr1996

ok, great acting on this movie.
I bet this guns where a prop on some Western with Ronald Reagan
#monsterdon
#zarkorr1996

I wonder what's up with Zarkorr!

#monsterdon
#Zarkorr!TheInvader

@moira@mastodon.murkworks.net At least it's not the modern style of everything having mood lighting so you can barely see anything

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

"If you're going to patronize me, at least do a better job of it"

Wait, dude, you have no right criticizing her acting prowess...

#monsterdon

Well, this is a bizarre turn. #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

@moira if that's true I'm 100% on team Zarkorr

TBH I'm like 90% on team Zarkorr anyway

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

That guy's gonna sit on a scale and disappear into the trash compactor

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

We're doomed! I'm gonna sing the Doom Song now.

#Monsterdon

"You're doing something really stupid", not a line in the movie, a comment to the producer and director #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader
#ZarkorrTheInvader1996

@YsengrinWolf

They're always breaking out the crisco in the men's room.

Oh, is that just the men's rooms I frequent???

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

"Just shoot through my body"

Yeah BIG MOOD dude #Monsterdon

She sounds like she has the hiccups #Monsterdon

ACAB means All Cops. Especially these dicks. #Monsterdon

Surely there was a better way to approach this, Captain Genius.

#Monsterdon

"This is a disaster" Yeah and we're barely 20 minutes in. #monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

Thatta girl! Fight for your life!!

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader 🦖

#Monsterdon 👽️👾👦🧚‍♀️🥊🫣 😱

This is the strangest adaptation of
The Postman Always Rings Twice
that I have ever seen.

Well that turned into about 4 Federal felonies rather quickly

#monsterdon

Maybe this movie will turn into Dog Day Afternoon
#monsterdon   

Well, she's trying to act, at least.

#monsterdon #zarkorr

I sure wish a hostage situation was on my #MonsterdonBingo card. #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

acab

#monsterdon

Crisco cryptozoologist in the men's room.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

@steggy don't you know better than to ask that 😂

but seriously though: Zarkorr (the kaiju) popped out of a mountainside, a tiny alien mental projection who looks like a mall tramp appeared to this postal employee and explained that he's been chosen to defeat Zarkorr and it's possible but can't be accomplished with any human weaponry, and then this happened

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

"don't do it anakin! i've got the high angle lens!"

#monsterdon

@steggy

Dinosaur rampaging crosscountry, postal worker is the chosen one according to alien Tinkerbell. So he kidnaps a cryptozoologist because that's a good idea, right?

#Monsterdon
#Zarkorr1996

It's incompetence day at the station. #Monsterdon

Zarkorr only exists to kill this one guy, once that's done it'll leave, the rest is the aliens fucking with this asshole

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

Tommy. TOMMY, MY DUDE, this is not the way to get the Unknown Animal Expert willing to do anything except kick you in the crotch.

#Monsterdon

"And now the shoe is on the other foot. By which I mean the revolver is in the other person's hand."

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

No one can do their job apparently
#monsterdon   

@trixter Nope! Just "hey you're the only one that can, but no help for you in any way! also no human made weapons work"

#monsterdon

That's a C stand because it's meant for compilation #Monsterdon

I wish he would have just blown his nuts off. At least then it would make sense.

#monsterdon

Ok, the humans are poorly written. We need to get back to Zarkkor. He's a fully fleshed out character with clear motivations.

#Monsterdon

@steggy Same as last week about this time. Weeeeeird shit that amounts to… I don’t know, but we’re not moving the story forward much. #monsterdon

Postman going postal, I see.

#Monsterdon

"You're doing something really stupid."

We all are. We're watching this.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

Where did they find these security guards? #monsterdon

@troublewithwords that's my current working theory, yeah

#monsterdon

What!? "Shoot through my body"

Homie, don't be a hero.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader 🦖

"and then you will die"

bwahahahahahahahahah

#monsterdon #karkorr1996

Well, he's not crazy at least. I dunno about the rest. #monsterdon

Wait, so... does being chosen to defeat this thing infer any benefits to assist in that endeavor? Did I miss that? (I might have missed that.)

#monsterdon #karkorr1996

Somebody call Paul Blart!!

#Monsterdon

Shoot the hostage! Shoot the hostage! #monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

#Monsterdon 👽️👾👦🧚‍♀️🥊🫣 😱

Shoot him!
Geez, lady, that's pretty bloodthirsty!

this guy reminds me of Bruce McCulloch so much

he's about to break into his talkative schoolchild Gavin bit any second now

#monsterdon

That one security guard looks like he can’t figure out where the guy is.

#Monsterdon

“This isn’t turning out like I expected” #Monsterdon

And now his intelligence has gone to lunch.

#Monsterdon

Can you shoot? Please?

#monsterdon #zarkorr

That back someone around while you attempt to talk to them is bring back some bad memories, even if he wasn't technically trying to get in her pants.

#Monsterdon

"I don't tell you how to do your job!"

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

#monsterdon It's a zoologist, not a lion, sheesh.

Due to technical issues, I'm jumping in 20 minutes late. What's happening?

#Monsterdon

Random C stand placement

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

For contest this was an era of America when the term "going postal" was a thing after a few mail men without proper mental help went on rampages.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

He actually called her a mall tramp 😆 is cut rate charlie sheen watching #monsterdon or what? this is so trippy

Again with calling your figment a tramp. I think that speaks more about you than her. #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

oh i assure you it's very possible

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

#Monsterdon

Paul Blart with a gun. Guy even looks like Kevin James a bit. #Monsterdon

this guy is making a great first impression

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

Three Body Problem's Cixian Liu totally stole the mental projection idea from this movie. No other reasonable explanation.

#Monsterdon

Based on what I've seen, the idea that there are different "departments" in this building is a stretch.

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

every guy trying to corner a lady in an elevator. (T_T)

#monsterdon #karkorr1996

When you are freaking out the crypto zoologist you know you are coming way too strong
#monsterdon   

"Stay away from me! I have a tripod and I know how to use it!"

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night helps this postal employee learn to act or deliver his lines effectively

#monsterdon

Now THIS guy could be a cryptozoologist.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Movie heroes are always too dumb to handle this smoothly.

Turn the cameras around!

#monsterdon
#Zarkorr!TheInvader

#monsterdon "so where's the CRISCO-zoologist?"

Got her ass Debbie

The one act play has a second set! Which is just the back stage behind the curtain. Literally. And some featured extras.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

This movie has a really big "Vampires on Bikini Beach" vibes
#monsterdon
#zarkorr1996

No room in the budget for a Steadicam...

#monsterdon

This is just what Tinkerbell's people do for fun, right? Find a planet and a schmo and drop a monster on them and watch the fun. #Monsterdon

This zoology needs more Crisco™

#Monsterdon

If Zarkorr follows him, just go on a boat. Maybe Zarkorr can't swim. Or a helicopter over a volcano. #monsterdon

A meet cute at the end of the world #Monsterdon

She’s high strung.

#Monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie Call the police next time you see them. That's super sus.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader 🦖

Crisco? This isn’t funny but I think it’s supposed to be ? #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

this news lady gets eaten next?

#monsterdon #karkorr1996

#monsterdon weird frame rate in this one

“Where's the Crisco zoologist? I need to bake a cake.”

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Crisco zoologists work mostly with hippos.

That's the advantage of a mail worker, they are everywhere especially in the middle of the night
#monsterdon   

Oh no! He's going to go postal!

#monsterdon
#Zarkorr!TheInvader

these are the most incompetent tv station workers in the universe

#monsterdon

'love interest coming through!' #monsterdon

"I saw you on TV so I came down here to find you."

Y e e a h ...

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

"I'm not crazy."

Something said by every sane person ever. #Monsterdon

I kind like all the models on the FX. They really look like the original Godzilla. Well, not that good, to be fair.
#monsterdon
#zarkorr1996

Zarkorr onscreen time is up to like 2 minutes and 15 seconds now?
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

#monsterdon we're going to go with the helium-voice on microbuffy the whole film aren't we?

They should totally go with MASERs on this, she didn't say anything about MASERs. Honestly a missed opportunity to pay a little homage or whatnot

Tiny alien Buffy the Zarkorr Slayer deserves an Oscar for that amazing performance.

#Monsterdon

Woo hoo skulking & entering #Monsterdon