@ohiofi IT's gonna die on accident

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader 🦖

@Binder “whatevs”

#Monsterdon

Ahhhh yes, the explosive radio stations of the 1990s.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

yay more monster footage!

#monsterdon

If you can't knock over the Tokyo Tower, use this. #Monsterdon

A-bombs, H-bombs, and anthrax bombs are ineffective. But truth bombs always hurt.

#Monsterdon

“We’re superior beings, so our moral code allows us to do whatever we want to do to you.”

Sounds like humans wrote this.

#Monsterdon

"We're superior beings, so our moral code allows us to do whatever we want to do to you!" is definitely a line! 😂

#monsterdon #karkorr1996

"We're superior beings, so our moral code allows us to do whatever we want to you"

Very straightforward, I respect it

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

Noooooooo. We're back to plot. #monsterdon

This is a terrible version of Dungeon Crawler Carl

#Monsterdon

This is your mission, should you choose to accept it. This tiny woman will self-destruct in 10...9...8... #monsterdon

"here's your quest. bye!"

#monsterdon

It's all a test. You aren't supposed to kill it. You're supposed to sway it from its destructive path using the power of love.

Happy pride.
#monsterdon

#monsterdon none of woman born shall harm Zarkorr, you get it

"We're superior beings. So our moral code allows us to do whatever we want to do."

GEE, 1996 MOVIE, timely much?

#monsterdon

So… Zarkorr is basically the Terrasque?

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

The snail that chases you across the Earth and kills you if it touches you. Only the snail is 300 feet tall.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

He's coming for you, but take heart, if you fail there is no punishment. Only eternal oblivion, and that's your fate anyhow, so.... might as well try, or don't. Your call.

#Monsterdon

OMG this is all an alien reality show isn't it

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

No convention weapons. Check. Godzilla rules, check. #Monsterdon

Damn, can't even use a sword? Guess we can't break out the Jaegers for this one then.

#Monsterdon

I swear, if USPS HR isn't involved in this...

#Monsterdon

wait, is Zarkorr the killer snail that never tires???

#monsterdon #karkorr1996

Characters in this #monsterdon so far

Giant Monster
Mailman Tommy
Teen Girl Hallucination
Dr Stephanie, Knowledge Lesbian
Reporters
Movie Rednecks

She’s a republican. A tiny republican.

#Monsterdon

Nobody expects the Zarkorr inquisition

#monsterdon

He's so boned. #Monsterdon

"This would be a very temporary solution."

All I'm hearing is solution!

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

#monsterdon Not Sarin, Cesium Sludge, Political Advertising…

So this is a one act play between one actor, a voice heard from off stage, voices from a TV, and monster roars.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

Lemme guess, love's gonna kill this thing.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader 🦖

Asimov's three rules of kaiju.

#monsterdon #karkorr1996

Wait who the fuck pronounces is sward?? #monsterdon

Zarkorr might be a good name for a pharmaceutical.

#monsterdon #zarkorr #zarkorr1996

That's not how you pronounce "swords"

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

#monsterdon He's functional now. FULLY FUNCTIONAL. Just like Lieutenant Data!

Why does she keep saying "Zarkorr" when it's name is "Zarkorr!"?

#monsterdon
#Zarkorr!TheInvader

Mount Aurora was most certainly NOT formed by illuvial deposits!

It's clearly a mountain formed through tectonic sublimation, you hack!

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

@MatthewTitus88
I'm concerned about your* mental health given the amount of film left.

* and my

#Monsterdon

There’s that unthreatening miniature teen again

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

all the best kaiju movies explain the ground rules for defeating the kaiju while a dude scribbles on a legal pad

#Monsterdon

Huh, I was expecting mount aurora to be full of igneous rock rather than sedimetnary

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

“Are you functional now? Who she think she is, Tasha Yar?

#Monsterdon

This animal is very unlikely to be a dinosaur. You'll notice the human like arms , the big head, and the carefully crafted rubber suit.

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

"Monster update"

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

This is all news to me

#Monsterdon

Holo-thot is a mash-up of Madonna and Kate Winslet?

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

#Monsterdon 👽️👾👦🧚‍♀️🥊🫣 😱

Why is everyone on the news in an echo chamber?

"Human-like arms". Trogdor confirmed. #monsterdon

If you chose "aurora" for your drinking game please go to an emergency room now.
#monsterdon

She can't see that picture, that's not how that worked

#Monsterdon

Wait a lady scientist without glasses? Yeah, right.

#Monsterdon
#Zarkorr1996

"This monster. What IS the deal w/ THAT?" #Monsterdon

@Binder I've only ever heard "top of"/"topping out" the bell-curve as an ·insult·…🤔

#monsterdon

she has doctorates in crypto _and_ zoology

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

#Monsterdon

Apparently the director didnt believe in multiple takes.

this movie is so cowardly for not showing the reporter getting vored

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

I don't think Marty is coming back... #monsterdon

#monsterdon The popcorn you are eating has been... *ahem* LOL

#Monsterdon 👽👾👦🧚‍♀️🥊🫣 😱

why is this news interview being held in a tin can?

#monsterdon everyone's pretty casual about all this

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medical/this-mushroom-makes-you-see-little-people-it-gets-even-weirder-scientists-can-t-find-the-hallucinogen/ar-AA25I1oC

I'm just sayin'

#monsterdon
#zarkorrtheinvader1996

Why is there so much reverb?

#ZarkoorTheInvader1996 #monsterdon

Once again this is Debbie Downerson, from New Jersey.
#monsterdon

"what you are hearing behind me is the sound of the T-rex from Jurassic Park but don't tell anyone"

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Catching up, gotta jog to nine minutes... I'm sure I won't miss anything. :)

Newscaster's framed in a TV counts as narration I think. #monsterdonbingo #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

Are we going see the futility of using conventional weapons against kaiju? #Monsterdon

Newscasters reporting on the end of the world with all the presence of the weekly weather forecast

#monsterdon

I'm pretty sure the alien interfered to ensure the news channel was recapping the situation just as they tuned in

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader

Oh great. The fate of earth hinges on an average american voter.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

So… there's no meaning to life and no life after death, huh?

Well that's a bummer.

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

I wonder what the science is about exactly how often you're supposed to say "For viewers just tuning in"

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

@cd0

Intelligent enough to figure that if the average of our species can't beat it, we don't deserve to survive?

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

Isn't Aurora Colorado eastern Denver- oh, *California*

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

I can't believe I called him being beige a plot point.

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

Why in the hell would you pick Mr. Peak of the Bell Curve?
#Monsterdon

You’re the 50th percentile!

#Monsterdon

The Medium Man.

#Monsterdon
#Zarkorr1996

That's quite a heavy cosmology, Tommy.

#monsterdon #zarkorr #zarkorr1996

worst Urusei Yatsura remake evar

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

"What is the meaning of life"
"There is none"

"Is there life after death?"
"No"

NOT PULLING ANY PUNCHES, ARE WE?

#monsterdon

Is this what it's like to be an incel

#Monsterdon

Animals of Unknown Species. #monsterdon

"there is no meaning"

that clears up a lot of things.

#monsterdon #karkorr1996

I'll give her points for succinct answers.
#Monsterdon

See, this is why I keep the Cartoon Network on.
#Monsterdon

No, this guy *definitely* feels threatened by a moderately attractive woman.

#monsterdon #karkorr1996

grown man calling teen girls tramps. getting off to a good start here #monsterdon

42 #Monsterdon

"okay" he says
#monsterdon

I'm pretty sure that this is the second movie I'll have seen where a postman is the hero.

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

Feels like we're going to see this accurate recreation of New Jersey get stomped later....

This man's dull life is making me sad

Oh fuck, here's the "Writer's Obvious Fetish"

Ah, the old, "I'm being beamed into your brain so no one else can see you"

her explanation really does sound like a 'Nigerian Prince' scam

#Monsterdon

A tiny teenage mall tramp is his dream girl #Monsterdon

tiny lady appears before i can even get over the odd placement of his tv
#monsterdon

If youre a hologram why can't you just project at the same size as him?
#Monsterdon

I guess we're not going to waste time establishing characters.

#monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

"Tommy, we've determined that your enjoyment of plain dry cold toast makes you the most bland human imaginable, and thus perfect for our needs."

Meanwhile, Tommy's a drooling mess fouling himself on his rug due to ergotism.

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

Is the pitch of her voice meant to evoke the twins from the mothra/godzilla movies?

#Monsterdon