I'd say I'd expect Hackerboi to start chortling about his Precious, except Gollum is way more coherent than this guy, and probably also has better body odor.
well we have a new low
"Shut up." PLEASE! #monsterdon
How long is it going to take Zarkorr to find this guy?
#monsterdon
#Zarkorr!TheInvader
I, too, am a sailor through cyberspace.
wow, ick
God he's like Ned Fulmer on wheels
how is a hacker supposed to help us with an alien???
Umm, an ordinary schmuck is the key to defeating Zarkorr, remember!
the camera operator - there is no cinematographer, I insist - hated this guy, that's why they keep letting us see him not be able to type
βArthur can get anything. Heβs a hacker.β
ok, I'm now also calling myself a "cybernaut" π
#Monsterdon π½πΎπ¦π§ββοΈπ₯π«£ π±
University chit-chat???
"I prefer cyber-naught"
...oh dear π«£
Tell Zarkorr you love him. Look into his laserbeam eyes and don't hold back.
@cd0 it's how they handle change of address cards changed to the same address? #monsterdon
I know I kidnapped you, now help me or thereβs no point in me dragging you around. I promise I wonβt kill you but you need to start helping. #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996
Nope, I think it's an IBM Model F or similar.
#monsterdon Help him or not, that is the central question. That keeps coming up over and over again. We all want them all to die. Get 'em monster. Crush all the model sets and eat the hero and then throw an End Credits card and release us from this... noiseβ¦
So far our chosen one has found two quest tokens: a cryptozoologist and a cop.
"Well, is there such a thing as an Arkor...
... that sounds like it could work?"
two dudes expecting the woman they abducted to save them....
"What could it be? Only I can find it!"
Stamps. Zarkorr is allergic to stamp adhesive.
Cybernaught! #monsterdon
@GeoffWozniak good question, I'm watching shitty ads
You're all I've GAWWWT
If a giant monster was chasing me to squish me I'd probably had to some remote area to reduce collateral damage.
βWhat the hell is a tautology!β β¦ βwhat the hell could it be?β #Monsterdon
Something only he can find. Maybe it's covered in counterfeit postage? #monsterdon
Oh, god, it's a committee meeting.
#Monsterdon
Maybe he has to deliver mail to Zarkorr to defeat him?
#Monsterdon π½οΈπΎπ¦π§ββοΈπ₯π«£ π±
This movie should have been titled
Zarkorr?
Why is it daylight all of the sudden?
Pick a place by putting all your keys in a bowl!
Ah yes, the EXPLOSIVES trunk.
A cop, a postman, and a scientist walk into a garage....
#Monsterdon
Cop IMMEDIATELY suggests torture, zero hesitation.
"I could probably force her" #Monsterdon
ooh, the warehouse district. :sparkles_fiery:
meanwhile, at laura kamph's new workshop
Now that the monster is known sheβs over it
#monsterdon The cop is... compliant?
That radio broadcast is like War of the Worlds minus Orson Welles.
Skeptical Cryptozoologist
GEORGE!
Ah. Sweet, affordable exposition. #Monsterdon
#monsterdon if this was a Choose Your Own Adventure I would have flipped back to the choice in the kitchen already
#Monsterdon π½οΈπΎπ¦π§ββοΈπ₯π«£ π±
Ask your doctor is Zarkorr is right for your planet destroying needs.
Good thing Zarkorr isn't from Earth then
You rejoin us now with the War of the Worlds.
#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader
β¦this coverage on the radio is quite possibly the Β·cheapest and most patheticΒ· cover-up for a lack of an effects budget I've ever heardβ¦π
Little bit of Mercury Theatre's "The War of the Worlds" in that radio broadcast. A sure way to win my favor.
They wanted to say βgreat balls of fireβ but legal made them change it to βhuge ballsβ.
Of fire
Huge balls of fire.
Oh, the Terrasque has eye beams, that's nice.
I voted for this! I am the problem!
#monsterdon so far?
Minutes 0-10, Zarkorr attacks and the hero gets his quest to defeat Zarkorr
Minutes 10-30 hero screams and cries and has a mental breakdown, then causes other people to scream and cry and have mental breakdowns; Zarkorr is not mentioned
Sadly despite her attempts the actress couldn't escape this movie #monsterdon
π΅ you can't hide your laser eyes #Monsterdon
Be gentle with that radio it's owned by the guy you just cuffed to a sink, and you don't want to upset him.
Bazooka teams, missiles, and heavy artillery have been tried.
Huh, that's⦠surprisingly coherent writing.
βοΈ lazer eyes
I wouldn't have thought you could make a kidnapping boring, but they did it
Chekhov's ball gag.
so what's the over under on Crypto-Lady and Hero-Dude making out before the movie is over despite *gestures at movie*
Oh look, he's driving around in a cop car now, as if to hammer home my point!
All hail Zarkorr!
Ooh laser eyes. #Monsterdon
this movie does seem to know that we need to see small models blown up on the regular, that's definitely a mark in its favour
"look! if you can only get me to the monster, I can get it to say it's name and I can prove this is the truth!"
@ohiofi I feel like Zim and GIR would be doing a better job of invading, at this point. π€£
If the cast was filled with stand up comedians this comedy might work, maybe. It's still be really dumb. But someone could work actual comedy into this shit.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
@Binder and a b!tch is one.
When cops go postal #Monsterdon
@yatsu it better have something going for it, it's been 1/3 of the movie in the bathroom
@YsengrinWolf median human is something to aspire to and also a decent band name #Monsterdon
Meanwhile, in a better film...
I believe him too, Larry. I saw the tiny teenage mall tramp.
"I don't want to hurt anyone, I'm just an average guy" well one of those two statements can't be true #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader
#ZarkorrTheInvader1996
why did he have to kidnap the expert? surely he could have talked her through it???? why would you make that creative choice as a scriptwriter or director?!?!?!?
Monster stuff? Do I even care anymore? #monsterdon
Oh no, the alien conspiracies were right
@kshernandez but what will cause the explosion? Is it the childrenβs choir? #Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996
Legit enjoying the alien conspiracy theory cop twist.
I refuse to believe that only 50% of human kind is better than this guy.
#Monsterdon π½οΈπΎπ¦π§ββοΈπ₯π«£ π±
I love the cow mutilation theory cop. He is totally crazy! Did they know that 2026 was coming?
I do like that the security were self-important dicks until the cops showed up and were even bigger dicks.
THRILL! To the hostage negotiation scene in ZARKORR!! The Invader kaiju movie.
Why? Ya know we could be watching a better kaiju movie with crimes happening. Have we seen Dogora yet? It has jewel thieves.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Crackpot cop is a nice twist. #monsterdon #Zarkorr1996
Opened the bag of Sweet 'N Spicy while this man is attempting to act...
This dude is pretty convincing as a ranting lunatic. #monsterdon #Zarkorr1996
#Monsterdon π½οΈπΎπ¦π§ββοΈπ₯π«£ π±
This is the most convincing speech ever!
I would totally put down my gun.