The gnome finally made it.

And is the little fanged dude frionds with Gulfax now?

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

there isn't really a plot in the traditional sense so I'm assuming the movie just randomly stops at a certain point?

#monsterdon

what was that blocking? did the candyland goblin just climb on top of gordon ramsay/ #monsterdon

Is this a vogue battle?

#Monsterdon

I've seen high school theater productions with more convincing stage combat, but go on with yourself, movie!

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

This melee is the worst fight scene ever #Monsterdon

When the fight choreographer phones it in...

#Monsterdon
#WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

How drunk do you think this editor was? On a scale 1 to 10 I think they were about a Peter O' Toole #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Fight choreography by the Three Stooges.

#WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985
#Monsterdon

Doesn't the kid have the ring of ultimate magical power?

What is the point of all of this?

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

@ottaross ikr

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Combat, in the "talking head" style of The Office

#Monsterdon

I like how all the swordsmanship scenes with our hero Kor are in extreme close-up so we don't have to see him interact with anyone else, nor remember anyone else's moves.

#monsterdon

Did Shurka just off the qween and a random dwarf with magic?

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

@dogwelder #Monsterdon

it's so they can drain the Victory Spaghetti after the battle

@cocaine_owlbear
Near the beginning, seized a bunch of kids "to ensure a good {something}" Harvest?

#Monsterdon

You remember the children from 65 minutes ago, right?

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

I know Kor's epithet is The Destroyer, but is his surname Blimey?

#Monsterdon

Did I miss the scene where Shulka Imprisoned a shitload of kids?

Considering he's tryna marry a 14 year old, that's just all kinds of uncomfortable and gross.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Shurka killed by toddlers via death by 1000 kicks to the shins

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

yeah Kor, let the children fight your battle for you, it's like when your were in the process of getting divorced all over again...

#Monsterdon

Those kids shouldn’t be outside this late! It’s not safe

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Oh shit, he found the ring

#Monsterdon

Oh, right, there were child prisoners near the start. Continuity!

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

“Just say, ‘show me the Gulfax!’”

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

James Horner's music keeps making me think the Klingons are about to attack.

#monsterdon
#wizardsofthelostkingdom

I forget he had kidnapped all the kids, for reasons?
#monsterdon  

"SEASON!"
[Shirka's henchmen begin to sprinkle Kor with herbs & spices.]

#Monsterdon

A bow and not an axe for executions? What?

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

@paco @rebeld On screens without the blur, we didn’t see anything either because her hair was conveniently placed.

#Monsterdon

"Seize him!"

Stop him! HURT HIM!

#Monsterdon

Shurka my marital obligations, am i rite?

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

imagine if someone with even half a point of charisma had played Kor?

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingsom1985

ewww, 'child bride', like the United States 😞

#Monsterdon

so you just named the anonymous archer chosen to perform the execution

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

#monsterdon
They gonna free the kids.
Will it be Pippin, Newseys, OR Annie.

Its a hard knocks life for us.

Oh come the fuck on, movie!
#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Aura is going to cut you.

#monsterdon

Y'know I was surprised and hesitant when this won Monsterdon because I vaguely remembered seeing it in a newer MST3K, and that it was completely dreadful, and it turns out it's not as bad as I remember... it's many orders of magnitude worse 🤦‍♀️ #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

I was just wondering if anyone in this movie had even remembered the ring!

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

I’m not entirely convinced that we’re better off with Simon having the ring.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

He found the ring, then he found Gallfax's Ballsacks.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Now throw it into Mt. Doom. #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Dude keep your mouth closed. Gross.
#monsterdon

I stepped away for ten minutes to prepare my lunch. Have I missed any brilliant contributions to the history of cinema? #Monsterdon

This is the rare bad movie that had a nipple sighting near the ending instead of the beginning.

#monsterdon

No Kor, your ill-fitting tunic will drag your average middle aged body right under.
#monsterdon

Honestly was expecting the mermaid angle there.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon #wizardsofthelostkingdom1985

Strange women living in ponds distibuting rainbows is not a test of manhood!

Back at the mud waterfall, Kor is building a raft when they see a naked woman flowing downstream and toward a different waterfall. Kor swims after her (as she screams "help me") but then she flows away too fast and is gone.

Then he swims back and they meet a mermaid sitting on a rock who explains that she was "testing their manhood" and will now teleport them across the river because Kor sucks at building rafts.

#monsterdon

It feels like the movie is pulling brain cells out through my nose. #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Nooo Gulfax you could have left

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Dropping an imaginary naked woman in the middle of a river is *not* an effective test of manhood

...er, maybe it depends on what kind of "manhood" you mean

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

censored mermaid boobs, great.
#monsterdon
#wizardsofthelostKingdom

Is this the kind of rainbow that gives you Skittles or the kind that gives you Lucky Charms? I always confuse the two

#Monsterdon

Just test your manhood until the rainbow appears

#Monsterdon

Oh is all the gay subtext now text?

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Rainbows, famous for only having two colors #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

She carries a ruler around for such occasions.

#Monsterdon

I have tested your manhood!

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

#Monsterdon ⚔️ 🧙 🏰 🌲 🇦🇷 😱

"I have tested your manhood"

"why?"

#monsterdon "testing your manhood" is what I call it too

"I have tested your manhood." I do not think this is quite that kind of film

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Naked ladies in distress? #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

One nipple sited

What was the rating?

"You've tested my what?"

#monsterdon

Might as well give them some Lucky Charms. #monsterdon

How did this lady even get into the river immediately downstream from a waterfall in the first place?

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

#monsterdon lol wow, didn't think it was a bare tits kind of movie

And that was the day everybody on set got pink eye.

#Monsterdon

don't make the actors get in that water. look at it

#Monsterdon

Oh goodness, was that a flash of nipple?

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

You know I'm not lying to you, you can tell by how often I nervously call you by your first name.
#monsterdon

I would make the most of this location too, makes up for Argentina's lack of Medieval castles...

#Monsterdon

Simon unties Kor so he can dump the cyclopses into their fire bucket. Kor explains that he's friends with Simon after all and could have left anytime, which the audience has already figured out as they wondered if they should watch the rest of this movie. Then the two of them wander off to a waterfall.

#monsterdon

I'm crashing out, night all 💤 😴 ✌🏼

#monsterdon

We didn't make this journey for nothing. We just used the film's budget to go on location for one scene.

#monsterdon

ah, I guess this is the real transfer of power

#monsterdon

She was zoned out long before the hypnosis #Monsterdon

@gblues it's what we came here for! #Monsterdon

In order to be lying, wouldn't he have to have made some kind of sense..?

#Monsterdon

Great, the villain's into hypno, gross.

#Monsterdon

THERE ARE STILL BIRDS

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

"Did you hear something?"

I ask that every time you open your mouth, kid.

#Monsterdon

you lied to a teenage boy Kor, your ex-wife was right about your influence

#Monsterdon

ah, exxon falls

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

#monsterdon

Yeah, Simon, I don’t believe that anyone could like you either #Monsterdon

Stop grooming Simon!

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon ⚔️ 🧙 🏰 🌲 🇦🇷 😱

Oh it's a buddy movie.

Justice, honor, and dippy dialogue.

#Monsterdon

This movie hasn't been good by any stretch of the imagination, but it just took a wild turn for the worse and landed smack in the middle of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers.

#Monsterdon

Running silly ala Benny Hill, timeless classic. You should have paid royalties for a 5 second clip of music. #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Mrs. Cyclops

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

really sucks to not have a modern combined arms military and instead only have a headbutt-centric goon and a spiral spinning sword goon #monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Do we marry you or marinate you?

Lol!

Where is that kid's knife? Can he hold anything for two minutes

Where is the wackety-sax when you need it?

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Actually you don't really get a choice because they do it praying mantis style.
#Monsterdon