#Monsterdon ⚔️ 🧙 🏰 🌲 🇦🇷 😱

clearly this is the first warrior who thought to combine *kicking* with sword fighting he's unstoppable

Overacting like that was last seen on Full House. #Monsterdon

his furry whatchamacallit, huh.

#monsterdon

A man your age should NOT be talking about a boy's furry whatchamacallit!

#Monsterdon #Ultraman

Your washed up little league coach with a sword is going to save the day?
#Monsterdon #WizardsoftheLostKingdom

"Run Gulfax!"
"In this fun fur outfit? Are you kidding me"

#Monsterdon

Anyone else wishing they were watching a German made for TV version of Macbeth right now? Somehow it had better production value.

#monsterdon #wizardsofthelostkingdom

They've caught a very small Hulk! #Monsterdon

thinking of having the evil queen's ensemble as my lounge wear...

#Monsterdon

Is that Star Trek music

#Monsterdon

*sexily* They have all been imprisoned.

#Monsterdon

He's killed the Younglings!

#Monsterdon

"Where is the ring"
"Up my ass"

*sighs

#Monsterdon

The boy wizard goes to meet an adult wizard, who is staring in his crystal ball and tells him that the castle is under attack. We cut to a montage fight scene where some goons on horses conquer a castle; this sounds hard but I didn't watch close enough to know how they pull it off.

Some of the goons take the blue dress girl prisoner, but the boy wizard is on another set so he is safe.

#monsterdon

Every time I avenge my dead king I *SWEAR* that it’s for the last time… but here was go again!

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

ah, gave the ring to an idiot I see

#monsterdon

Gulfax may be my favourite Monsterdon character this year.

#Monsterdon

This movie feels like a montage.

#Monsterdon

We then cut to the royal court where the King's son (who is a young teenager and a wizard apprentice) is on a castle date with a blue dress girl who wants him to marry her. He distracts her by using his wizard powers to animate a wall gargoyle so it clucks a bit.

Then an abominable snowman shambles in and mumbles something, which the boy wizard understands as a summons from his father because the snowman is his pet and he speaks snowman.

#monsterdon

This music reminds me of the music from another Corman film, The Fantastic Four. I wonder if it's recycled, or the same composer just tweaking his own music. #Monsterdon

Oh this castle set is left over from three other movies isn't it
#Monsterdon #WizardsoftheLostKingdom

#monsterdon So bad the only way to rescue it is with aggressive editing.

This #monsterdon makes the bold choice of starting with a trailer of itself, showing us some low budget sword and sorcery shit that involves bare chested men sword fighting and wizards vaporizing each other. It portrays some kind of epic civil war, eventually won by the good king Tyler.

A lot has happened, but none of it has been sufficiently explained.

#Monsterdon

"The castle is under attack! They're mostly attacking the poultry and vegetables."

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon A lot of flying cabbages…

what's that carpet monster supposed to be? A wookie?

#Monsterdon

@GeoffWozniak A “sword”.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

For a time, King Tyler ruled in peace. Until the evil wizard, Mom, declared an end to screen time

#Monsterdon

"King Tyler" has "King Chad" vibes to it, not ye olde worlde exactly..

#Monsterdon

Why is the movie the trailer?

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

The sword was lost, but the ring was saved, and nobody knows what happened to the chalice. Also there might have been a shield, but nobody's really sure?
#monsterdon

now I could really go for a DQ Blizzard.

#monsterdon

We got gong sign!

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Oh, it's #Monsterdon night. Just getting home, and cranking it up.

Beware toot stream coming shortly as we get plugged in.

It's another Roger Corman film. The man made three a week it seems.
#monsterdon thread begins here.

"Operation Monster Ballonization"

#Monsterdon

poor, abused giant...

#Monsterdon

This is a personal thread for this week's #Monsterdon so the local feeds don't get buried in Monsterdon posts. Follow the hashtag to see *all* the posts, or expand this one to just see mine.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

literally fired a rocket up it's ass

#Monsterdon

@klu9 ROOOAARRRR - Oliver Reed

#Monsterdon

but the problem isn't fixed, that Kaiju has to land somewhere on Earth

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon launch crew, this is Alpha Control. Please preset secondary hashtag to #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

repeat

All launch crew, please preset secondary hashtag to #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Or don't

I'm not the boss of you

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

that jet thing is a lot of fun!

#Monsterdon

"DESTROY WORKS OF MAN"

lol, these Kaiju, so singular in their approach to life

#Monsterdon

Tonight! #Monsterdon will be watching Wizards of the Lost Kingdom (1985). This kingdom is so lost that it can only be found on Tubi, or the miru stream. Wow!

Be sure to set up a hashtag filter if you'd like to keep your timeline free of the incoming flood of jokey posts. Check the tag for watch links and use it to joke along if you'd like to join in! The fun starts at 9pm East US.

📽️🧙‍♂️🏰

All that #Monsterdon needs to do tonight is be more interesting than procedurally generated No Man's Sky side quests. So long as the storyline makes at LEAST as much sense as those mad-libs, I'm in.

pretty harsh edit to a man throwing himself off a building, those poor japanese children!

So this is where the Tech bros got their idea of sleeping at work

#Monsterdon

what was in that dumpling?!

#Monsterdon

RE: https://ohai.social/@klu9/117583866153458516

I do believe the woman in the last movie poster has two pairs of breasts, a bit like a cat.
#Monsterdon

@klu9

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon #wizardsofthelostkingdom1985

I can't tell where anyone fucked off to!

@@@@ Great #monsterdon movie.. terrible for anyone who wants anything resembling coherence. acting plot dialog

Thanks, @Taweret and all #monsterdonians!!

@CactuarJoe They could make a movie out of it, for one

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

well, i hope all the people involved in this movie got paid, because i cannot imagine any other reason to be involved.

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingsom1985

@Louisa Got to have at least one evil vizier I guess
#monsterdon  

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom (1985) - 4/5

what a piece of shit

#monsterdon #monsterdonReviews

"Bat Creature" in the credits. And yeah, he's friends with Gulfax at the end.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

And Shazam!!! It’s over.

#WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985
#Monsterdon

SHUT UP HORNER

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

...and Kor fucks off into the... smogset #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

oh thank god the credits

#Monsterdon

so a lot of stuff happened and a lot people wore silly helmets and spirit Halloween masks. and then it ended

ty for joining, everyone!

#monsterdon

At least the furries found love.

#Monsterdon

FILM WAS A MISTAKE

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

So, why "the destroyer", when Kor's fighting style is more agility than strength? And who does the rogue clever tricks stuff.

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

AND THIS WAS THE LEGEND

OF BOY WIZARD KING SIMON

IT SUCKED

#monsterdon

my only question is where'd they get that much styrofoam?

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Korr trained under The Sphinx from Mystery Men.

#monsterdon #wizardsofthelostkingdom

Awkward!!

#WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985
#Monsterdon

Hal was right, some guys just can't wear jewelry!

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom #NowWatching #Lanterns

The best part of this movie is the budding romance between Kor and Hurla.

#Monsterdon

Okay, that skull effect was rad as hell. I really dug that wizard fight.

Kinda makes me question Simon's dad's competence if a 13 year old kid can take out the big bad that took him out in like one spell, but still

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

you did not do good kid. no one here has done good.

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingsom1985

WHAT THE FUCK DOES ANY OF THAT MEAN

#Monsterdon

SHANE! SHANE! SHAAAANE!

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Kor's a Ramblin' Man: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfU1aorHVQg

#monsterdon

wait, the quest is over?

#Monsterdon

so this evil sorcerer had like a prison of children and the goal the whole time was to free them? to be ruled by the other child? #monsterdon

Least dramatic (or coherent) magical duel ever.

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

The evil queen teams up with her surviving gnome henchman who I thought was vaporized earlier, but maybe he had a twin brother. They go to accost the evil wizard, who is doing fuck all to influence the castle sword fight, but then he vaporizes them so we can have an anti-climax.

RIP. We will miss you evil queen, we will miss you.

#monsterdon

The FX animation is delightful tho #Monsterdon

Wasn't it great when special effects were just sharpied onto the film?

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

@rebeld Honestly I'd be suspicious of anyone claiming not to have lost their head at some point in the middle of this

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Simon didn’t even break a sweat.

#WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985
#Monsterdon

The animated effects though 💯

#Monsterdon

stare blankly! BLANKLY, I SAID!

That's almost it! Now! Blanker! Blanker still!

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Just blatantly ripping off the Basil Rathbone/Estelle Winwood scene from The Magic Sword #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

it's the battle of badass wireframe skull winamp visualizers #monsterdon

Bad guys sure disappear quickly in this movie.

#monsterdon
#wizardsofthelostkingdom

Oh thank goodness, this seems like a final battle scene. I’m gonna cross my fingers and toes. #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Now it's ANgry ~~Birds~~ Wizards

#Monsterdon

Use the Force, Simon

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Yay, a funeral AND a wedding! Best party ever.

Why does "SIEZE HIM!" never work? You got all the guards, and can do magic.

OH GOD NO, NOT CHILDREN! THE CHILDREN ARE FIGHTING! Well the trained adult guards are doomed now. Yep, all over but deprogramming the princess.

Why are the regular guards all in blue pajamas?

Did Skurka just vaporize the queen & dwarf with no fanfare? No gloating? That sucks.

And now, live-action Warlords videogame! LOL!

#monsterdon #wizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

#monsterdon child soldiers. Is that honor or justice?

The wampa costume is just LEANING AGAINST THE WALL without an actor wearing it 😂🤣

#Monsterdon

Well there's your budget right there.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

The gnome finally made it.

And is the little fanged dude frionds with Gulfax now?

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

there isn't really a plot in the traditional sense so I'm assuming the movie just randomly stops at a certain point?

#monsterdon

what was that blocking? did the candyland goblin just climb on top of gordon ramsay/ #monsterdon