Here Simon, let me pour you some kool-aid while I rub petals into your shirt.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Here, I made you some Crystal Light.

#Monsterdon

Don't drink it! It's Nyquil!

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

We will fulfil your every desire!

Lady the kid is what, 12? He wants a new baseball mitt and summer vacation to come early.

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Where are this kid's parents?

I mean the actor, not the character in the movie.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

They know this kid is like 12, right?

#Monsterdon

Yup. Having a woman blanket me in flower petals really gets me going.

#Monsterdon

Have some Tranya! #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Ah, a refreshing glass of Simple Green.
#monsterdon
#wizardsofthelostkingdom

And so, Simon encountered the ghost of gender transition past...

#monsterdon #wizardsofthelostkingdom

#monsterdon I see the flowers all died of snu-snu.

Mercenary warrior guy had just one job. #Monsterdon

WILL SIMON BECOME A MAN?! STAY TUNED FOR NEXT TIME

#monsterdon

I told you this was written by a 15-year old. #monsterdon

I love that there is some weirdo with a pan flute, but no pan flute music. #monsterdon

Pan flute guy needs more screen time. #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Need to turn my back yard into this
#monsterdon

That should get this movie cancelled ✅

(no really it's on the bingo card)

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

THEODORE
ALVIN
#monsterdon

Hey lady, this ain't right

#MOnsterdon

He’s just hitting puberty, so this has got to be a mindfuck for him.

#Monsterdon

Are they gonna turn him into a HORNY TOAD?

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

SIMON!
ALVIN!
THEODORE!
#monsterdon
#wizardsofthelostkingdom

Your *every* desire Simon... Such as your desire to have an apple in your mouth while being slowly roasted over a spit.

#monsterdon #wizardsofthelostkingdom

#monsterdon That's not surreal for any self-respecting gayboy sorcerer…

Hey, Evil Wizard, how are your minions going to find the ring if you kill them all?

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

They're the island of evil cougars? I mean this guy looks like he ought to be in high school.

#monsterdon

I’m telling my children this is A Court of Thorns and Roses

#Monsterdon

The Castle, err, The Sylvan Glade Anthrax!

#Monsterdon
#WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Lady your banter is ENTIRELY age inappropriate #Monsterdon

Gulfax is a cheap knockoff of the abominable snowman.

#WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985
#Monsterdon

Just you local forest pre-teen opium den. #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Eww! What the fuck, movie?

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

guy on the pan pipe just escaped from a Spinal Tap tribute band.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon #wizardsofthelostkingdom1985

When we make the #monsterdon movie I want to play Gulfax.

Our boy hero has stumbled into the PG-rated orgy scene.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

now turn them all into donkeys, i DARE you

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

The ADR gets a B for effort

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

this movie is begging me to believe that it will end with the kid waking up in the present day and i will simply turn it off if it tries it #monsterdon

when you can’t afford stuntmen so you just have a teenager kill a drifter #Monsterdon

Okay, this kid has sexual predators?
this movie DOES have everything in it
#monsterdon
#wizardsofthelostKingdom

Gulfax is looking a little rough
#monsterdon  

Shouldn't the spirit of his father be warning him about this succubus?
#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

movie, no. no adults making suggestive remarks to children please. stop it

#monsterdon

Time for sexy sax!

#Monsterdon #Ultraman

@RobynGoodfellow Be careful what you wish for #Monsterdon

Simon got pulled in by a Siren. #monsterdon

Still better than "Moonfall".

#Monsterdon

I guess this is trying to Tempt The Boy

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon ⚔️ 🧙 🏰 🌲 🇦🇷 😱

kid *immediately* tries to mansplain swords to this chick who says it doesn't matter who she is

Sorry, I saw him fight, this is a trap
#monsterdon  

“Who are you”

“Does it matter?”

Um, yeah, in the middle of a coup d’état, I think it kind of matters

#Monsterdon

Does he really think he has a chance with the squareheaded girl?
#monsterdon
#wizardsofthelostkingdom

why is there what appears to be a giant, sapient car-wash furry glove? #monsterdon

Oh wow, this is gross.
#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Nothing suspicious about this. #Monsterdon

"This is ridiculous"

That should be the tagline

#Monsterdon

DO YOU LIKE BOOBIES AND SEXY LADIES, SIR KNIGHT?

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Gulfax spits his alien waste into the face of Kor the conqueror

#Monsterdon

Gulfax is what happens when you try to recreate a sheepdog.

#monsterdon

Sultry sorceress appears.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

A boy and his …. OwlBear #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

#Monsterdon

Use the force my son!

#Monsterdon ⚔️ 🧙 🏰 🌲 🇦🇷 😱

Simon, you said it.

Phantom warrior, or balloon warrior?

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

@jonny That's what she said.

#monsterdon
@diazona

Stop calling out much better movies!!!
#Monsterdon

Hey, be nice to Tenubaca!

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

#Monsterdon the sword of pinnochio

GODDAMIT.

#monsterdon #wizardsofthelostkingdom

this "I don't know how to use my helmet" phantom guy is soo lame
#monsterdon
#wizardsofthelostKingdom

Still with the birds everywhere

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

The sword foley folks are just phoning this one in.

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

He who pulleth this sword from this tree shall be rightwise king of a small paddock.

#monsterdon

@diazona WHY IS IT SUDDENLY 2 FEET LONG #monsterdon

so our dead ghost dad was more help that Kor, huh.

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingsom1985

*tink* *tink* #monsterdon

#Monsterdon ⚔️ 🧙 🏰 🌲 🇦🇷 😱

the 'tink' sounds don't align with sword hits at all, he tinked the ground for example

Well, I didn't expect a Joxter cameo, but I'll take it!

"That's....not..."

🎵Jox-ster! Joxster the Might-ty! 🎵

#monsterdon #wizardsofthelostkingdom

I bet they thought this fight scene was super badass.

#Monsterdon

Just kidding. He was totally a real guy. #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

@RachelThornSub yeah he looks like an accountant who plays paintball sometimes on the weekends

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

#monsterdon And now Simon is a murderer.

Kid wearing the pirate shirt from Seinfeld
#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Eye of thundera, give me sight beyond sight!

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Good of the killer to stand patiently as the son looks at the sword for a minute
#monsterdon  

That magic sword sure has a chewed up blade.

#monsterdon
#wizardsofthelostkingdom

By the power of grayskull i compel thee

#monsterdon

I’ll make up a new spell using a thesaurus
I just need a rhyming word like chorus or porus #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

I DARE this flick to make less sense. #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

#Monsterdon where was he keeping the second bird bath?

where did they find this fight choreography, in a Cracker Jack box?
#monsterdon

it's like watching the head of the AV club bully the last kid picked in dodgeball

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

#monsterdon If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball…

Worst. Soldier. Ever.

#monsterdon

I’ll give you five reasons to give me your ten speed!

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985