The boy wizard wants to fight to save the castle, but the adult wizard disapproves of child soldiery and so gives the boy wizard a magic ring and has him teleport away (along with his pet snowman).

Then the evil wizard arrives in the wizard room escorted by his super sentai-coded beast man assistant, who waves his hands and mumbles a lot. The evil wizard has a technicolor magic battle with the good wizard and wins.

#monsterdon

the yeti chewbacca is singlehandedly saving this movie #monsterdon

This is a vibe movie to me because I still only have figured out 30% of the plot
#monsterdon  

So the kiid's pond was tuned into the CCTV in the castle? Convenient he could just see that one moment.

#monsterdon

are we in the forest or the desert or Europe or the the middle east or

#monsterdon

Why is there an abominable snowman in this very not winters movie?

#Monsterdon

Evil Wizard: I believe children are the futuuuure.... Corrupt them well and Good shall rue the day... 🎶

#Monsterdon

@rebeld at the orphanage in Omelas obviously #monsterdon

Oh uh, content warning ahead: Alcoholism played for laughs.
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon evil wizard already has eyes for another girl

#monsterdon Not kissyface interruptus!

Gulfax looks like a bunch of old bath mats sown together
#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

what IS that giant carpet monster supposed to be? It doesn't even have a face...

#Monsterdon

Hostage children is no basis for a system of government!

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

He died as he lived.

Pointlessly and without back story.

#monsterdon #wizardsofthelostkingdom

We cut to the king's bonking chamber which has a giant bed and a queen in it. We learn the queen is an Evil Queen (TM) and in league with the bad wizard, who wears a cool hat and has conquered the castle. He uses his hand wizard powers to kill the king then tells the appreciative queen that it's "All in the Wrist", which is a good line, it surprised me.

#monsterdon

It's good that we as a society realized you could just run around a park LARPing and didn't need to get a whole movie crew involved just for an excuse to dress up.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

This is a little like Fraggle Rock meets Teletubbies meets Ewok Adventures.

#Monsterdon

Wulfrik, my dude, you're casting way too weak a ward to protect against Fireball! Were you not paying attention at the College of Winter--

(checks notes)

Oh he dead never mind

#monsterdon

Wizard fight! With hand drawn spell effects!

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

so was that like a Dark Ewok or what

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

Aww he's got a little guy.
Cool wizard battle.
#Monsterdon #WizardsoftheLostKingdom

This movie is awesome actually? #Monsterdon

@Taweret
I think @miru did the same gag last week.
#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

"Wulfric."

"Bob."

#Monsterdon

Now go son, and I will return to my main occupation - country music radio.

#Monsterdon

We meet again for the first time for the last time. #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

#monsterdon He had the ring, he lost the ring, he'll find it again, or he won't. That's not important right now, the plot is in a taxi in Cleveland, wondering how much it will cost to get to Toledo.

And I ran

I ran Jafar away

#Monsterdon

idiot child dropped the ring in the teleporter

#Monsterdon

That's not a just a ring, it's The Schwartz

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I am wearing purple, you are wearing lavender! Now we should talk about your knee pads, my son. For they will carry you far.

"all in the wrist" he says with a cheeky wink...

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon #wizardsofthelostkingdom1985

The vials of chemistry are bubbling!!

Oh good, our swordless hero has a quest and a friend in a Spirit Halloween polar-bear suit.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

Whoa... #RogerCorman with recycled #JamesHorner music from #BattleBeyondTheStars (again!), I can only assume, augmented by #ChrisYoung.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

I'm pretty sure that bad guy was Hawk in Buck Rogers. #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

I presume that is an evil vizier
#monsterdon  

Haha he stabbed PAST that guy and he fell over, defeated. 😂 I love you, movie.

#Monsterdon

Anyone know what is happening? We got ourselves a 15-year old's D&D campaign from 1980. #monsterdon

The subtitle (sword clanging) is doing a lot of work because I did not hear a sword clang
#monsterdon  

so parts of this set are made out of cardboard, right? that's not just my dumb eyes, right?

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingsom1985

@CactuarJoe godDAMMIT I left the sword in the bathroom again. ok I found it. Movie over #monsterdon

@Bluedepth

EDIT HARDER!!!

#Monsterdon #Ultraman

#monsterdon Less stabbity and more "sword petting now lay down and pretend to be dead”

Holy shit, they shot this at a Ren Faire, didn't they? 😂

#Monsterdon

so many flying chickens. like John Woo on a farm

#monsterdon

Cool candelabra and bubbling colored liquids

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

#monsterdon Let the Vitiligo Wookie Win.

Oh no! Not the cart of gourds!

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

#monsterdon meeeeeeeowwwwwww kill me, KILL ME

Whew, this movie looks awesome. Very high cheesy factor. Glad I tuned in.

#Monsterdon

GULFAX, THE LIVING MOP

#monsterdon

Moving so fast today.

#Monsterdon

The birdbath is glowing again.
#monsterdon

@patioboater

I shall miss the Price-athon. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon kill... me...

#monsterdon The ring was found, lost, found again, stapled to an IOU, then found under a movie theater seat covered in melted raisinets and dried coca-cola evaporate.

Wizard vs Wizard and Warrior vs Warrior seems very reasonable as a match up. So far so good

#monsterdon

@trixter @ryan agreed!

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

A sword and ring, both of great power?? Nobody's ever come up with anything like that before!! #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

"You'll have to carry a sword after we're married." #monsterdon

I'm impressed with the quality of @ryan 's copy of this, I'd have expected this to be the kind of thing that only existed as a VHS rip on YouTube and the Internet Archive.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

The sword of power? He-man?
#Monsterdon #WizardsoftheLostKingdom

Battle on, Xena

#Monsterdon

Last week on Wizards of the Lost Kingdom

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

why are we getting "previously on..."

#monsterdon

Is this the movie or a trailer?
#monsterdon  

not a good sign that my brain is already tuning out. maybe shouldn't have had that drink earlier

#monsterdon

Sword AND scorcery?! In THIS economy?!

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

an age of running the trailer before the film as part of the film

#monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

How did the kingdom get lost? Presumably it's still where ever they left it. I mean, it's not Wakanda, how hard can it be to find?

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

#Monsterdon ⚔️ 🧙 🏰 🌲 🇦🇷 😱

HORSIES!

This is that movie with the completely inexplicably over-complicated action going on behind the titles.
#monsterdon

@MatthewTitus88 LOL no idea

#monsterdon

Raiders of the wait, no #Monsterdon

Bo Svenson and Butch Hardchest in...
#monsterdon

Y'all know what's basically a guarantee of a bad movie? Live action Sword and Sorcery made before Lord of the Rings.

This should be fun 😁

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

"We're running out of dwarves" is going to be the best line in this movie, isn't it? #Monsterdon

i'm watching the copy on SHOUT!'s youtube channel tonight

#monsterdon

We've been cooking and baking ALL DAY and I am done just in time for #Monsterdon to start. I don't even know what it is yet! :akkoScreamSurprised:

Oh hey! Vidal Peterson. He was in "Something Wicked This Way Comes" #Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

#monsterdon is this a d&d session movie

Judging by the trailer this is the first movie I voted for that's in RealMedia format

#Monsterdon

I sense yet another film where native English speakers act alongside non-English speakers, and bad dubbing ensues. #Monsterdon

Warning: the Amazon Prime Video version of Wizards of the Lost Kingdom seems to have messed up audio. The intro music and sound effects only play from the left stereo channel and the right stereo channel is silent except for narration.

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom

And now for a nice relaxing cherry blossom viewing free from kaiju falling from the sky.
#Monsterdon #Ultraman

@davesdogmaggie you know folks after careful consideration I'm starting to thing we picked a children's movie for #monsterdon

Every time these people consume food or drink their plans go awry

#Monsterdon

The Wiz #wrongwiz

#Monsterdon #WizardsOfTheLostKingdom1985

@Emi_ina bora pro #Monsterdon entao

AND SO A THOUSAND BALLOONICORN FETISHES WERE BORN

#monsterdon #ultraman

Kaiju Balloon strategy #Monsterdon #Ultraman

Aw Skydon doing a little dance

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonPreshow #Ultraman

They’re hiding in the toy jacks that Skydon left lying around.

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonPreShow

Guess they need to consult the next page of the ACME catalog.

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonPreshow

Having a rocket stuck in your tail sounds profoundly uncomfortable

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonPreshow #Ultraman

"Say it, don't spray it"

#Monsterdon

@RachelThornSub

When has a "kaiju theme park" ever ended well?

#Monsterdon #Ultraman

Ok, Skydon, you’ve earned this rampage.

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonPreshow