I mean, I actually noticed the lyrics. That's something.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Maybe the title was also misleading. Anyway, that was a movie. Probably. #monsterdon

@starkraving666 Yet another data point proving this. /cc @tuckerm

https://saltylike.us/@tuckerm/115523103088085956

#Monsterdon

Ah! That explains all the fucking burger talk.
The producer was Bob Belcher!
#Monsterdon

That’s not the pizza they ordered. #Monsterdon #vampiresonbikinibeach

Oh wow, all the tunes featured where made and sung by the same guy, you could not tell /s

#Monsterdon

From the director of this film comes...

#monsterdon

sooooo... they saved the least bad song for the credits?

I mean, it's not great but it's ... actively less bad

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

so were harold and the girl who went with harold vampires at the end??? i didn't think they were but i guess they coulda been?

#monsterdon

@jonny@neuromatch.social how do you fuck up a vampire movie at Bikini Beach?! #Monsterdon

@SnoopJ kinda, but not really #MOnsterdon

wait, wait, wait. Go back in the credits. Richard was also a Grip.

#Monsterdon

"#Monsterdon: Some you win, some you lose"

Tonight, we lost.

I missed pretty much most of that. No regrets here. Thanks to @Taweret for hosting. It's getting rougher out there, have a great week Beautiful Mutants. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Okay. That… that was a movie. Kinda. I did laugh my ass off, though.

I'm glad I stuck it out. You guys are fun. Have a good night, and remember: this is the kind of thing we watch when you don't vote for Alligator.

Goodnight!

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

The voice over keeps sounding like a fun summer camp recap in tone. I hate it...
#Monsterdon

i was born in the 80's and yet somehow, this still feels like the first time I've seen a Bauhaus font in lower case??

#Monsterdon

Wh....
#monsterdon

OH BOY WE GET ONE MORE SONG

#monsterdon

The end.
Thank you @Taweret for hosting another fun #Monsterdon

#monsterdon

One of the worst of all time, if not THE worst, in terms of acting, production, script, sound, you name it..

Yet still more entertaining than some of the dreck..

@moira I blinked and missed the plot.

#Monsterdon

okay.

so that happened.

this concludes our #monsterdon thread for "Vampires on Bikini Beach"

which is weird, because I didn't _see_ any shaggy dog vampires...

So they fucked off into a burger restaurant.

#Monsterdon

Love how the narrator tied up the story. Wait, no they didn't.

Good times at the old #monsterdon

Well. That's an hour and a bit of my life I'm never getting back.

#Monsterdon

fangs, okay.

#Monsterdon

welp.

#monsterdon

HAHAHA HE SAID BITE
#Monsterdon

Classic Harold!

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

@Taweret This is like when YouTubers from 2007 try to make movies

These days there are so many better original movies on YouTube

#Monsterdon

Doctor Surfer Dude

#monsterdon

@SnoopJ #thatswhatshesaid #monsterdon

@jadebees You mean the guy they hired to make bird sounds?

#monsterdon

I happened to be looking away from the screen during the hitler moment and thought for a second that they had intentionally skipped over him lmfao #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

I understand now.
Anyone would rather make out than watch the end of this awful movie!
#Monsterdon

What's with the mockingbird singing?

#Monsterdon

"What a finale"

thanks for telling us what is going on, the lack of drama had us confused

#MOnsterdon

Anyone know why this place is apparently self-destructing?

What a finale.

Wait, I think I missed... uh, whatever the plot was supposed to be. Is this actually the end?

Wait, no, they're still rolling.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon "OMG it's Gwen and whoever!"

Really? You didn't see them? They were RIGHT THERE.

We didn't see them because the camera was pointed the wrong way, but how did our heroes miss them?

The building is farting? #Monsterdon

Why birds? #monsterdon

#Monsterdon

The bird song is to tell us this is early morning..?

Are we clear? It's not going to blow up or catch fire or collapse or anything? #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

"Hurry! Hurry up!" YEAH HURRY PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CINEMA #monsterdon

Maybe I'm losing my sanity but this movie got halfway entertaining in the last few minutes #Monsterdon

"Look, satan, is it? If you just shut up I'll do whatever you want." #monsterdon

Okay the Hitler line was funny--never thought I'd say THAT #monsterdon

I totally wanted random sound effects each time these crazy kids opened a coffin to stake the vamp inside.

Cat yowling. A wolf howl. A Wilhelm scream.

#monsterdon

Where did they get bolt cutters?

#Monsterdon

Wait, I thought Clark & Wynette were dead because…?

You know what, it doesn’t matter

#Monsterdon

Instead of the characters just going to the vampire temple, the final battle should have been some kind of surf duel between bikini vampires + vampire surfer dudes and bikini humans + human surfer dudes.

#monsterdon

That sound is just the cameraman breathing into the microphone.

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

@CaptManiac Pretty much sums it up...

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon
See... if the pizza is on camera, you can write it off as a business expense, probably.

Surely that's why the scene is there, right?

And see, you probably need, like, a separate pizza for each take.

Saves on Craft Services, maybe...?

No. This makes no sense. Sorry.

Those fucking birds!

#Monsterdon

I approve of the Hitler joke.

#Monsterdon

Oh, cool. Undead hitler is down again.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

"Hitler?!" The only good line in the movie.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

@SnoopJ
Hold on to your butt. In the next 10 minutes we're about to see some serious shit!

#Monsterdon #VampireOfBikiniBeach

oh fuck me

the hitler joke was actually kinda funny

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Next time I order a pizza, should I make the delivery driver hand it to me sideways? #Monsterdon

Darth High Priest Whats-his-name

#Monsterdon

YES I AM OLD

#monsterdon

this is like when YouTubers try to make movies

#monsterdon

YOUR PVC CROSS IS NO MATCH FOR MY BAD ACCENT

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Over pizza, we recite the chants from the book, Zoroaster Northrup Grummon Dammus Hellus and this summons an ancient wizard in a hoodie. The ancient wizard decides to help them defeat the vampire uprising, which is a thing I would probably do too if I was an ancient wizard.

#monsterdon

Butler guy's a better vampire than the vampires #monsterdon

#monsterdon Man, the music suddenly took a turn into silent-movie territory, but unfortunately characters kept talking.

@apLundell

This has me finally wondering... this isn't really a movie from the 80s, is it? It's something from the TV show 'Community', ain't it? A Greendale Community College student project

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Dee-mos is very powerful in the Blackhearts? So like Joan Jett's Drummer? 🥁

@MatthewTitus88 A pineapple?! where where? #Monsterdon

This is just degraded into bad Larping at this point. #Monsterdon

@whiskeysailor@sickos.lol We've gone from bad professional acting to enthusiastic LARPing is what's going on. I think it's an improvement?

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

I'll give the movie this much credit: it really made me want a fucking pizza #Monsterdon

GDT totally ripped off this movie for The Strain #monsterdon

What exactly is happening?
#monsterdon

Oh no a circus act, RUN!

#Monsterdon

Gnordorn.

Gnordorn.

Gnordorn.

🤯
#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

Death by Circus Act

#monsterdon

@bstacey@icosahedron.website And it wasn't even what they ordered! Double meat and cheese when they ordered one with everything on it.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

This reminds me of the seance from Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

#Monsterdon

Is that Richard Harris?

#Monsterdon

@nazokiyoubinbou

I hope they at least gave those rented bikinis a quick spritz with that spray they use on rented bowling shoes

#Monsterdon

So in the FMV game that pizza boy was also a vampire and opening the door to invite him in got them all bit, right?
#monsterdon

G-nordron

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Take a chants on me!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon If this was a double-feature with The Gate, the little booger demons in the pit would all be pole-dancing

@floatybirb Light tables are a photographer thing. To pick out which slides get blown up into prints. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

Hey, so this is my first time—those Monsterdon bingo boards have “pipe bomb” on them somewhere, right?
#monsterdon

That's a clean pizza for one that was shoved sideways through a door...
#Monsterdon

that pizza door scene was also kind of funny? did they figure out how to do humor like 80% of the way thru making this movie?

#monsterdon

They seriously completely abandoned any attempts at seriousness, quality recording, etc etc.

Not that they were exactly... going for an Oscar to begin with, but wow... They just suddenly switched to "we recorded this with handcams in our basement" quality instead of even trying to pretend at production quality, lol.

#Monsterdon

None of these people should ever be trusted with a pizza

#Monsterdon

the necronomicon cares a lot about your pronunciation my dude.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Wait, plot? What?

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou
Altavista and Infoseek MFs!

#Monsterdon #VampireOfBikiniBeach

Wow. The tension in the pizza scene was _palpable_ #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

#Monsterdon
I am nostalgic for an $11 large pizza, to be completely honest.

So they didn't pay? #monsterdon