#monsterdon If this was a double-feature with The Gate, the little booger demons in the pit would all be pole-dancing

@floatybirb Light tables are a photographer thing. To pick out which slides get blown up into prints. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

Hey, so this is my first time—those Monsterdon bingo boards have “pipe bomb” on them somewhere, right?
#monsterdon

That's a clean pizza for one that was shoved sideways through a door...
#Monsterdon

that pizza door scene was also kind of funny? did they figure out how to do humor like 80% of the way thru making this movie?

#monsterdon

They seriously completely abandoned any attempts at seriousness, quality recording, etc etc.

Not that they were exactly... going for an Oscar to begin with, but wow... They just suddenly switched to "we recorded this with handcams in our basement" quality instead of even trying to pretend at production quality, lol.

#Monsterdon

None of these people should ever be trusted with a pizza

#Monsterdon

the necronomicon cares a lot about your pronunciation my dude.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Wait, plot? What?

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou
Altavista and Infoseek MFs!

#Monsterdon #VampireOfBikiniBeach

Wow. The tension in the pizza scene was _palpable_ #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

#Monsterdon
I am nostalgic for an $11 large pizza, to be completely honest.

So they didn't pay? #monsterdon

well now I want pizza

#Monsterdon

That HAD to be the director, right?

#monsterdon

Your pizza is smoking hot
#monsterdon

cannot get over how 'Weird Harold' is just '21st Century Harold'

He's using the Internet for research, before that was officially a thing,

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou

End credits:

"Promotional Consideration provided by Vlad's Pizzas of Santa Monica"

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Could it be... LAND SHARK!!!

#Monsterdon

Ah, yes. Backgammon and pizza. Yes, that's clearly what this script needs at this point...

Maybe a vampire will deliver the pizza?

"You wanna play a game of Backgammon?"

… seriously, movie, what the fuck? Were you written by aliens?

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

@CactuarJoe couldn't afford the house band anymore :/ #monsterdon

#monsterdon

Actually, match heads in a sealed off pipe could fuck some shit up.

"Better to be pissed off than pissed on."

Hey now, no kink-shaming here. #Monsterdon

At least the music is wacky now

#Monsterdon

"You kids are very naughty"

this is a pantomime now, "he's behind you"

#MOnsterdon

vampires.

they're not morning people!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Ok, the last hundred times one of our prisoners told me she wanted to fuck me it was a trap, but this girl seems honest.

#monsterdon Capri sweats and a leather jacket, there's a Nuremberg trial for this…

is it just the lighting or does Richard have a thick stripe of cocaine running from his nose to the tip of his beard #Monsterdon

the door was just unlocked!?!?!? she was just taunting him from behind an unlocked room!?!?!? what the fuck is going on!?!?!? #monsterdon

Why is nobody doing anything about these MF Vampires and this MF beach???

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

"I wonder how he kisses"

c'mon girl, have some self respect

#MOnsterdon

#monsterdon If this works it's even stupider than the rest of the film.

I'm pretty sure they added the voice over in post because the movie is so, so, so very bad.

#Monsterdon

[wind noises]

#Monsterdon

What the hell is going on with this sound? Did the sound guy know what even half of those knobs do?
#monsterdon

@Lazarou Having skills is weird.

#Monsterdon

Was this done by a community college film class?

On a bet?

Inquiring minds want to know!

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Their rental period for the boom mic ran out and they had to switch to the tin can on a string. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

#monsterdon

The sound in this movie is the worst I have ever heard. I think it takes the cake.

do y'think anybody involved in this got paid?

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Yeah. It’s the old prison break, see. I’m making a bomb, see.

#Monsterdon

hey there, pigboy #monsterdon

@SnoopJ I’m not even sure there’s that many.

#Monsterdon

'no i'm not nearly hot enough to be the top vamp'

#monsterdon

@MatthewTitus88 Their army from hell is WAY smarter than ours! #Monsterdon (not sure that's relevant)

Is that a muppet?
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I love how no one even considers going to the cops. Cops never want to hear about vampires.

who are Clark and Lynette?
#monsterdon

The master vampire is obviously weird Harold… it’s UNHOLY how weird he is.

#monsterdon

The audio guy just gave up. Like...no hope left at all. #Monsterdon

These vampires are really easily defeated by nerds and cretins

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Overacting award to the vampire who ran into the room and swung his cape around
#monsterdon

"Huzzah! I am the vampire of this movie!"

#Monsterdon

Are they at a play about vampires because THAT was an entrance!

#Monsterdon

Yes, kids, we did call people crazy, and weird, and laugh at them to their face in the 1980s. We were not enlightened. I apologize.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Was it supposed to suddenly get too dark for the camera to see anything?

It never occurred to me that these might be vampires.
#monsterdon

It's cool movie. I didn't want to see or hear any of that anyway. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Forget to hire a lighting guy, movie? #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

Even Vincent Price couldn't save this #monsterdon

OMG THE CAPE FLOURISH THAT WAS AMAZING #monsterdon

This is ... making me laugh...
#monsterdon

@apLundell "plot"

#Monsterdon

Finding these tunnels was never explained, just one of the teens saved another while 4 waited bored in an unrelated alley, right?

#Monsterdon

[inaudible]

#Monsterdon

Of all of the scenes not to ADR...

#monsterdon

love how half arsed the narration is

#MOnsterdon

the tunnels.

the...backrooms!

#monsterdon

the sounds of stones and grit underfoot has been captured clearer than any line in this so far.
#Monsterdon

"I forgot the tools" No worry. Y'all are all tools. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

you guys have fun getting murdered by vampires. imma just go to universal studios or something

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe I mean, who wouldn't? #monsterdon

yall are killing me with these jokes #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Oh geez, they've only just worked out the vamps move at night.....

It's the denim, it's constricts the blood flow to the brain somehow

#MOnsterdon

he said "i will give you the kiss of eternal love" but the captions said "i will give you the kiss of eternal life" and honestly that's a pretty egregious difference

#monsterdon

@patioboater he's so versatile! #Monsterdon

Harold is like totally weird you guys

#monsterdon

(56 minutes in) aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh it's a plot!

#Monsterdon

So only one of the vampires is hideous? Nosferatu or Tzimisce? #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

So this is just "The Room" with vampires? Again I missed the beginning. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Dlink vrom de veins ov tzess lovey babes
#monsterdon

Bathe her and bring her to me. #BeavisandButthead #monsterdon

@SnoopJ I think they only had 3 mics total for the movie.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

Master, here is the fire of hell...

Thanks?

"from the world of the living... it's saturday night!" #monsterdon

#monsterdon “From the world of the living!" TACO BELL!

and now, the rest of the budget! #monsterdon

MEANWHILE, IN THE PHANTOM ZONE

#monsterdon

Oh my god... The vampire acting is just so bad I can't even...

Did they just like, pull some random people off the streets to act these parts?

#Monsterdon

Finally, plot. But also if the doctor knew, you could literally just start asking around various churches.

#Monsterdon

Even now, even here, Bob's thinking about hamburgers, an obsession that would shape his entire life.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

From the people who brought you This Meeting Could Have Been An Email, it's:

This Film Could Have Been a Music Video

#monsterdon

suddenly feeling an overwhelming desire to watch a better film.

Like Manos.

#monsterdon

Oh, so the vampires are still a problem? I thought with that long bikini montage and the song they had solved the problem or something
#Monsterdon

It's now the Vampire Book of The Dead. Weird Harold says so, based solely on vibes (and the script).

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Okay, are back to vampires after eating, tourism, bikini shopping and music break?
#monsterdon

What happened to the couple that runned away from the vampires?
#monsterdon

They didn't have to make a whole movie just to promote their mixtape.

#Monsterdon