well now I want pizza

#Monsterdon

That HAD to be the director, right?

#monsterdon

Your pizza is smoking hot
#monsterdon

cannot get over how 'Weird Harold' is just '21st Century Harold'

He's using the Internet for research, before that was officially a thing,

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou

End credits:

"Promotional Consideration provided by Vlad's Pizzas of Santa Monica"

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Could it be... LAND SHARK!!!

#Monsterdon

Ah, yes. Backgammon and pizza. Yes, that's clearly what this script needs at this point...

Maybe a vampire will deliver the pizza?

@YsengrinWolf I'm having flashbacks to one of my third grade students wearing a cape for Halloween and shouting "I EAT BLOOD" #monsterdon

"You wanna play a game of Backgammon?"

… seriously, movie, what the fuck? Were you written by aliens?

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

so much food ordering in this movie, what is that about

Harold hacking the mainframe there

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe couldn't afford the house band anymore :/ #monsterdon

#monsterdon

Actually, match heads in a sealed off pipe could fuck some shit up.

@SnoopJ but everyone agrees...pizza!

#monsterdon

"Better to be pissed off than pissed on."

Hey now, no kink-shaming here. #Monsterdon

At least the music is wacky now

#Monsterdon

"You kids are very naughty"

this is a pantomime now, "he's behind you"

#MOnsterdon

vampires.

they're not morning people!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Ok, the last hundred times one of our prisoners told me she wanted to fuck me it was a trap, but this girl seems honest.

oh I guess they found the...matches?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Capri sweats and a leather jacket, there's a Nuremberg trial for this…

is it just the lighting or does Richard have a thick stripe of cocaine running from his nose to the tip of his beard #Monsterdon

Why is nobody doing anything about these MF Vampires and this MF beach???

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

"I wonder how he kisses"

c'mon girl, have some self respect

#MOnsterdon

[muffled noises]

#monsterdon

I'm pretty sure they added the voice over in post because the movie is so, so, so very bad.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon If this works it's even stupider than the rest of the film.

[wind noises]

#Monsterdon

What the hell is going on with this sound? Did the sound guy know what even half of those knobs do?
#monsterdon

@Lazarou Having skills is weird.

#Monsterdon

Was this done by a community college film class?

On a bet?

Inquiring minds want to know!

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Their rental period for the boom mic ran out and they had to switch to the tin can on a string. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

#monsterdon

The sound in this movie is the worst I have ever heard. I think it takes the cake.

do y'think anybody involved in this got paid?

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Yeah. It’s the old prison break, see. I’m making a bomb, see.

#Monsterdon

hey there, pigboy #monsterdon

@SnoopJ I’m not even sure there’s that many.

#Monsterdon

'no i'm not nearly hot enough to be the top vamp'

#monsterdon

@MatthewTitus88 Their army from hell is WAY smarter than ours! #Monsterdon (not sure that's relevant)

Is that a muppet?
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I love how no one even considers going to the cops. Cops never want to hear about vampires.

who are Clark and Lynette?
#monsterdon

The master vampire is obviously weird Harold… it’s UNHOLY how weird he is.

#monsterdon

The audio guy just gave up. Like...no hope left at all. #Monsterdon

These vampires are really easily defeated by nerds and cretins

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Overacting award to the vampire who ran into the room and swung his cape around
#monsterdon

"Huzzah! I am the vampire of this movie!"

#Monsterdon

Are they at a play about vampires because THAT was an entrance!

#Monsterdon

Yes, kids, we did call people crazy, and weird, and laugh at them to their face in the 1980s. We were not enlightened. I apologize.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Was it supposed to suddenly get too dark for the camera to see anything?

It never occurred to me that these might be vampires.
#monsterdon

It's cool movie. I didn't want to see or hear any of that anyway. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Forget to hire a lighting guy, movie? #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

Even Vincent Price couldn't save this #monsterdon

OMG THE CAPE FLOURISH THAT WAS AMAZING #monsterdon

This is ... making me laugh...
#monsterdon

@apLundell "plot"

#Monsterdon

Finding these tunnels was never explained, just one of the teens saved another while 4 waited bored in an unrelated alley, right?

#Monsterdon

[inaudible]

#Monsterdon

Of all of the scenes not to ADR...

#monsterdon

love how half arsed the narration is

#MOnsterdon

the tunnels.

the...backrooms!

#monsterdon

the sounds of stones and grit underfoot has been captured clearer than any line in this so far.
#Monsterdon

"I forgot the tools" No worry. Y'all are all tools. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

you guys have fun getting murdered by vampires. imma just go to universal studios or something

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe I mean, who wouldn't? #monsterdon

yall are killing me with these jokes #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Oh geez, they've only just worked out the vamps move at night.....

It's the denim, it's constricts the blood flow to the brain somehow

#MOnsterdon

he said "i will give you the kiss of eternal love" but the captions said "i will give you the kiss of eternal life" and honestly that's a pretty egregious difference

#monsterdon

@patioboater he's so versatile! #Monsterdon

Harold is like totally weird you guys

#monsterdon

(56 minutes in) aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh it's a plot!

#Monsterdon

So only one of the vampires is hideous? Nosferatu or Tzimisce? #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

So this is just "The Room" with vampires? Again I missed the beginning. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Dlink vrom de veins ov tzess lovey babes
#monsterdon

Bathe her and bring her to me. #BeavisandButthead #monsterdon

@SnoopJ I think they only had 3 mics total for the movie.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

Master, here is the fire of hell...

Thanks?

"from the world of the living... it's saturday night!" #monsterdon

#monsterdon “From the world of the living!" TACO BELL!

and now, the rest of the budget! #monsterdon

MEANWHILE, IN THE PHANTOM ZONE

#monsterdon

Oh my god... The vampire acting is just so bad I can't even...

Did they just like, pull some random people off the streets to act these parts?

#Monsterdon

Finally, plot. But also if the doctor knew, you could literally just start asking around various churches.

#Monsterdon

Even now, even here, Bob's thinking about hamburgers, an obsession that would shape his entire life.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

From the people who brought you This Meeting Could Have Been An Email, it's:

This Film Could Have Been a Music Video

#monsterdon

suddenly feeling an overwhelming desire to watch a better film.

Like Manos.

#monsterdon

Oh, so the vampires are still a problem? I thought with that long bikini montage and the song they had solved the problem or something
#Monsterdon

It's now the Vampire Book of The Dead. Weird Harold says so, based solely on vibes (and the script).

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Okay, are back to vampires after eating, tourism, bikini shopping and music break?
#monsterdon

What happened to the couple that runned away from the vampires?
#monsterdon

Jason Momoa does that clap better.

#Monsterdon

“A military operation”

That’s why we listened to that entire song first

#Monsterdon

They didn't have to make a whole movie just to promote their mixtape.

#Monsterdon

Unfortunately this bar is very quiet and we can actually hear the actors speaking

#monsterdon

C’mon y’all!

Loaded with love tonight!

#Monsterdon

I'm pretty sure that if this were edited from 80 to 40 minutes, and with a focus on the plot, it would be interesting. At least it's not offensive the way some films have been.

#Monsterdon

the only thing anyone in this movie is loaded with, sir, is drugs.

#monsterdon

i wonder what those wooden stakes and garlic are up to right now

#monsterdon

please end this scene now, it's basically watching a karaoke bar

#Monsterdon

@trixter I'd say they went to college together if I thought anyone in this movie went to college.

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach