Evil greasers? Did Stephen King write this?
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

A flawed piece of crap from the 80s. 🤷‍♂️

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE_eYjHcPt8

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

I witnessed the least convincing running in cinematic history #Monsterdon

Also known as:
Um Vampiro na Califórnia

#Monsterdon

Fire.gif
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

I am betting Pumpkinhead 2 will be Shakespeare in comparison to the last film we watched.
#Monsterdon

So, yeah. That was probably made especially for film school students to watch as an example of how not to make a movie.

As always, thanks, @Taweret, for hosting, @cherizilla, for #MonsterdonBingo, @JoeWynne, for #MonsterdonDrink, and @ryan, for the live stream!

#Monsterdon

I don't know what to do with my life now #monsterdon

@wrog People were making claims and I have to help provide some context!

Frankly, Invasion of the Star Creatures was worse than this.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Lose. We lost. This is a voice-over narration in case the tooting exposition of the last 80 minutes was not sufficiently elucidative. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

Oof that one was rough. We're going to have to be a little more strategic with our votes on Monday to for the next movie ​:neocat_googly_woozy:​ #Monsterdon

Honestly, the music was the best part of that movie.

#Monsterdon

But why was the movie shot in 1:1

#Monsterdon

Okay, maybe there was a ritual. And there are a few other items you can argue for if you really stretch things.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

The audio was particularly embarrassing. Did they do this by hooking up a couple of cassette recorders, maybe..?

No #MonsterdonBingo for me

#Monsterdon

MGM?!

#monsterdon

@SnoopJ

Did you at least shun that relative for their involvement in this travesty?

#Monsterdon

Stan Jones Classic '32 Roadster!

Well that's probably the only question I'll get answered.

#Monsterdon

I mean, I actually noticed the lyrics. That's something.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Maybe the title was also misleading. Anyway, that was a movie. Probably. #monsterdon

@starkraving666 Yet another data point proving this. /cc @tuckerm

https://saltylike.us/@tuckerm/115523103088085956

#Monsterdon

Ah! That explains all the fucking burger talk.
The producer was Bob Belcher!
#Monsterdon

That’s not the pizza they ordered. #Monsterdon #vampiresonbikinibeach

Oh wow, all the tunes featured where made and sung by the same guy, you could not tell /s

#Monsterdon

From the director of this film comes...

#monsterdon

sooooo... they saved the least bad song for the credits?

I mean, it's not great but it's ... actively less bad

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

so were harold and the girl who went with harold vampires at the end??? i didn't think they were but i guess they coulda been?

#monsterdon

@jonny@neuromatch.social how do you fuck up a vampire movie at Bikini Beach?! #Monsterdon

@SnoopJ kinda, but not really #MOnsterdon

wait, wait, wait. Go back in the credits. Richard was also a Grip.

#Monsterdon

"#Monsterdon: Some you win, some you lose"

Tonight, we lost.

I missed pretty much most of that. No regrets here. Thanks to @Taweret for hosting. It's getting rougher out there, have a great week Beautiful Mutants. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Okay. That… that was a movie. Kinda. I did laugh my ass off, though.

I'm glad I stuck it out. You guys are fun. Have a good night, and remember: this is the kind of thing we watch when you don't vote for Alligator.

Goodnight!

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

The voice over keeps sounding like a fun summer camp recap in tone. I hate it...
#Monsterdon

i was born in the 80's and yet somehow, this still feels like the first time I've seen a Bauhaus font in lower case??

#Monsterdon

Wh....
#monsterdon

OH BOY WE GET ONE MORE SONG

#monsterdon

The end.
Thank you @Taweret for hosting another fun #Monsterdon

#monsterdon

One of the worst of all time, if not THE worst, in terms of acting, production, script, sound, you name it..

Yet still more entertaining than some of the dreck..

@moira I blinked and missed the plot.

#Monsterdon

okay.

so that happened.

this concludes our #monsterdon thread for "Vampires on Bikini Beach"

which is weird, because I didn't _see_ any shaggy dog vampires...

Love how the narrator tied up the story. Wait, no they didn't.

Good times at the old #monsterdon

Well. That's an hour and a bit of my life I'm never getting back.

#Monsterdon

fangs, okay.

#Monsterdon

welp.

#monsterdon

HAHAHA HE SAID BITE
#Monsterdon

Classic Harold!

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

@Taweret This is like when YouTubers from 2007 try to make movies

These days there are so many better original movies on YouTube

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ #thatswhatshesaid #monsterdon

Doctor Surfer Dude

#monsterdon

@jadebees You mean the guy they hired to make bird sounds?

#monsterdon

I happened to be looking away from the screen during the hitler moment and thought for a second that they had intentionally skipped over him lmfao #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

I understand now.
Anyone would rather make out than watch the end of this awful movie!
#Monsterdon

What's with the mockingbird singing?

#Monsterdon

"What a finale"

thanks for telling us what is going on, the lack of drama had us confused

#MOnsterdon

Anyone know why this place is apparently self-destructing?

What a finale.

Wait, I think I missed... uh, whatever the plot was supposed to be. Is this actually the end?

Wait, no, they're still rolling.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon "OMG it's Gwen and whoever!"

Really? You didn't see them? They were RIGHT THERE.

We didn't see them because the camera was pointed the wrong way, but how did our heroes miss them?

The building is farting? #Monsterdon

Why birds? #monsterdon

#Monsterdon

The bird song is to tell us this is early morning..?

Are we clear? It's not going to blow up or catch fire or collapse or anything? #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

"Hurry! Hurry up!" YEAH HURRY PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CINEMA #monsterdon

"Look, satan, is it? If you just shut up I'll do whatever you want." #monsterdon

I totally wanted random sound effects each time these crazy kids opened a coffin to stake the vamp inside.

Cat yowling. A wolf howl. A Wilhelm scream.

#monsterdon

Where did they get bolt cutters?

#Monsterdon

Wait, I thought Clark & Wynette were dead because…?

You know what, it doesn’t matter

#Monsterdon

@CaptManiac Pretty much sums it up...

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon
See... if the pizza is on camera, you can write it off as a business expense, probably.

Surely that's why the scene is there, right?

And see, you probably need, like, a separate pizza for each take.

Saves on Craft Services, maybe...?

No. This makes no sense. Sorry.

Those fucking birds!

#Monsterdon

I approve of the Hitler joke.

#Monsterdon

Oh, cool. Undead hitler is down again.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

"Hitler?!" The only good line in the movie.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

oh fuck me

the hitler joke was actually kinda funny

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Next time I order a pizza, should I make the delivery driver hand it to me sideways? #Monsterdon

Darth High Priest Whats-his-name

#Monsterdon

YES I AM OLD

#monsterdon

this is like when YouTubers try to make movies

#monsterdon

YOUR PVC CROSS IS NO MATCH FOR MY BAD ACCENT

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Over pizza, we recite the chants from the book, Zoroaster Northrup Grummon Dammus Hellus and this summons an ancient wizard in a hoodie. The ancient wizard decides to help them defeat the vampire uprising, which is a thing I would probably do too if I was an ancient wizard.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Man, the music suddenly took a turn into silent-movie territory, but unfortunately characters kept talking.

Butler guy's a better vampire than the vampires #monsterdon

@apLundell

This has me finally wondering... this isn't really a movie from the 80s, is it? It's something from the TV show 'Community', ain't it? A Greendale Community College student project

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Dee-mos is very powerful in the Blackhearts? So like Joan Jett's Drummer? 🥁

@MatthewTitus88 A pineapple?! where where? #Monsterdon

This is just degraded into bad Larping at this point. #Monsterdon

@whiskeysailor@sickos.lol We've gone from bad professional acting to enthusiastic LARPing is what's going on. I think it's an improvement?

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

I'll give the movie this much credit: it really made me want a fucking pizza #Monsterdon

GDT totally ripped off this movie for The Strain #monsterdon

What exactly is happening?
#monsterdon

Oh no a circus act, RUN!

#Monsterdon

Gnordorn.

Gnordorn.

Gnordorn.

🤯
#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

Death by Circus Act

#monsterdon

@bstacey@icosahedron.website And it wasn't even what they ordered! Double meat and cheese when they ordered one with everything on it.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

This reminds me of the seance from Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

#Monsterdon

Is that Richard Harris?

#Monsterdon

@nazokiyoubinbou

I hope they at least gave those rented bikinis a quick spritz with that spray they use on rented bowling shoes

#Monsterdon

So in the FMV game that pizza boy was also a vampire and opening the door to invite him in got them all bit, right?
#monsterdon

G-nordron

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Take a chants on me!

#Monsterdon