"Let my lips touch yours."
Bites her neck

You're aim's a little off, my dude. #Monsterdon

"Director, I stumbled on that line should I"
"KEEP ROLLING"

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

This was the best take #monsterdon

Listopher Cambert
the budget Christoper Lambert
#Monsterdon

She's crying because she just got done reading the screenplay.

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Is the Vampire Inigo Montoya?

#Monsterdon

being a 7th son of a 7th son makes you a witch, not a vampire

#monsterdon

I'll have what she's having

#monsterdon
#VampireOnBikiniBeach

"Boy oh boy, what's with the atittude problem of the LAPD"

#Monsterdon

these people are like 45 lol #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

#monsterdon

The people responsible for the sound in this movie should be drained of all their blood.

we're watching california goths come out in real time #monsterdon

This movie is fine as long as no one ever speaks

#monsterdon

lol, this is exactly how gigs end

"SEE YOU LATER, JERK"

Perfect delivery, no notes

#MOnsterdon

see, sucker because vampire

get it?

do you get it???

DO YOU GET IT

#monsterdon

...."Sucker"? Really? REALLY? #monsterdon

roll the shitty stock applause SFX

lmfao

#Monsterdon

...Is he saying "suffer" or "sucka"? #Monsterdon

No keyboard guitar though...

#MOnsterdon

Hey, it's my boss from that job in Chicago at 18 :D #Monsterdon

Next we get stock footage of windsurfing and also surfing, increasing the audience's longing for the sea.

#monsterdon

The other girls have drove off and found a car by the side of the road. Because its a classic car, I suspect its driver is a vampire.

Turns out he has a mullet and is named "Harold", which seem like non-vampire traits, but who knows. One girl leaves with him.

#monsterdon

"There sure are some sickies around, huh?"

Yes, we've met the cast. #Monsterdon

Girls love chatting about cars, it's clear a lady wrote this

#MOnsterdon

@Bluedepth The movie can't kelp it! #monsterdon

Tubi: "Please turn of your ad blocker......oh, never mind." #monsterdon

This dialogue is really happening. It is words.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon No kelp hanging off the cast? I call oceanic shenanigans. LOL

@klu9 Well, there's still time. I'll keep abreast of changes :3 #Monsterdon

Oh my this film has The Room quality, doesn't it?

Is there a sweaty pervert who's in every scene?

#Monsterdon

That synth score is making me question my desire to live forever.

#monsterdon
#VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Next sequence is a scantily clad woman (possibly a street walker, because movie logic) getting ambushed and neck bitten by a vampire.

We then get some nice electronic music cut to shots of cars zooming by a graveyard as the title and credits drop. I do like a good electronica.

#monsterdon

I have entered tonight’s #monsterdon with very low expectations for “Vampires on Bikini Beach.” But this opening synth music has a good 80s vibe. And everybody loves hot bikini babes in a VW Cabriolet, so here we go….

M-O-O-N, that spells vampire!

#monsterdon

Okay I am super late to the party, I can't find the #Monsterdon movie?

Vampire Beach Bikini has no results on Tubi, where is it at?

Moments after this scene was shot, the moon crashed into the earth and everyone died. The End.
#monsterdon

I wonder if this is a Roland drum synth. I don't mind this, even though it's a bit underseasoned.

I imagine the movie will not go by as quickly as the time-lapse footage we are being shown.

#Monsterdon

Oh, Bobbie Dinwiddle. Nice to see him get work after he escaped the Wonka factory. #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe It certainly would keep me Up All Night. Yikes. #monsterdon

lol, the budget for this title sequence.....

#MOnsterdon

"Doo dee doo I'll just walk down Certain Doom Alley, sure it'll be fine" #Monsterdon

'The original idea for Buffy came to Whedon after years spent watching horror movies in which “bubblehead blonds wandered into dark alleys and got murdered by some creature.”'

I'M JUST SAYIN

#Monsterdon

Technically this might be the fastest time to kill, though offscreen...

#Monsterdon

Oh good, tonight's #monsterdon movie, Vampires on Bikini Beach, is available in a maximum resolution of 480p. So it's pre-pixelated for family friendliness.

lol, exposition overload

Day posing as night........it's all happening!

#Monsterdon

Thank you narrator
#monsterdon

damn, we got right down to that, didn't we.

#monsterdon

reading #Monsterdon toots in reverse order when I didnt watch the film is just incredible, just complete chaos

Baby Garak was the one good boy in a town of evil greasers.
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

@jwisser @nev agreed

#Monsterdon

@diazona i'm assuming that before he goes for the teenagers he's starting on the guys who murdered him??

#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

i keep forgetting that this isn't actually Vampires on Bikini Beach anymore
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

blood wings? UHHHH

#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

Pumpkinhead been watching the WWF.
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

@combatwombat @diazona @Lazarou @moira

Hm. I seem to have missed both of those outings. Watch as I now do an impression of me NOT going out on Tubi or wherever to look those up so that I can view them myself.
.
.
.
ok, done.

#Monsterdon

So this Pumpkin just kills anyone at random now?
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

more xenomorph vibes than i was expecting from a dude named pumpkinhead

#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

Ernest Gets Hunted
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

Did some dude literally just ask for a refund on a hunting license?

Who... even thinks that's how licenses work?

And then the sheriff is like "is there a problem" pretty much going straight into "the customer is always right" mode...

#Monsterdon

Watching Pumpkinhead 2 on Miru right now and wow... The monster's cries sound less like a scary monster cries and more like... a bad bowel movement. ew...

#Monsterdon

pyrotechnics budget: $19M
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

Godzilla roar from beyond the grave?
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

Haggis the wood hag looks a bit younger than in the first movie. Good for her. https://pumpkinhead.fandom.com/wiki/Haggis #monsterdon #Pumpkinhead2

you know who uses the term 'paydirt'? teenagers
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

@yatsu
The same Michael Easton?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Easton

#monsterdon

Oh. Nice. Tastes like mango lassi. Indian folks, your pantheon does magic potions right. I need to find something else that I want to convince the history of the universe to forget I was witness to. Or maybe just go get a regular mango lassi. I should probably do that. $7 seems like probably cheaper than whatever price was so horrid that I probably used the first dose on it.

Aaaaanyway... how was the movie? #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

"a little danger never hurt anyone"

#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

@Lazarou @diazona @moira @wrog

I think you mean "Stranger from Venus" -- but I thought it was a LOT better than this one, myself.

I'm not saying it was *good* exactly. But better.

#Monsterdon

@combatwombat @roque @jonny A tape like that would make the rounds around #Monsterdon SO quickly

Honestly, I think that conspiracy theories about how this movie got made are probably the most fun we can have with it.

#Monsterdon

Jesus Christ, Punky Brewster is in this one too.

#monsterdon #doublefeature #pumpkinhead2

PUNKY BREWSTER IS HERE TOO
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

A scene I didn't have time to comment on earlier.

#monsterdon

@littlemiao the book thing DID have the guy summoning all the evil dead in history

#monsterdon

@allanb
And not this time either....

#Monsterdon

I’m still finishing Bikini Beach because I got behind… was one of the unseen vampires they staked in the coffins supposed to be Hitler?! #Monsterdon

@msh @Taweret
Yeah, but the butts had the wrong aspect ratio, dangit!

#Monsterdon #VampirsOnBikiniBeach

@moira @diazona @combatwombat @wrog one of those movies that I felt genuinely cheated by #Monsterdon

I WILL NO LONGER MOCK THE CASTING CHOICE FOR THE SHERIFF

#monsterdon #doublefeature #pumpkinhead2

@ohiofi YES I am voting that the movie's own title card was wrong

I mean, it was wrong about everything else, why stop there

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

@moira
I liked the "Sorry!"

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

I think that sheriff was the guy who played Elim Garak in DS9?
#Monsterdon

@jammerb I feel this bingo card would have been a much better movie than what we just watched.

#monsterdon #vampiresonbikinibeach

@diazona @wrog Pain fades with time. This one's just more recent.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

I am disappointed that the screaming orgasm was not foreshadowing. It was just a throwaway line.
#monsterdon

@Lazarou @diazona @wrog Visitor from Venus.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

@diazona @Lazarou @wrog Absolutely not.

Visitor from Venus. That's the one they were thinking of. Rage not, my queen.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

@ramsey Probability that these two surf bimbos knew how to play Backgammon? 0.01%
#monsterdon

#monsterdon What was the name of the movie?

@Lazarou @moira @wrog there were a couple of those, I think, but you might be thinking of Devil Girl from Mars

#Monsterdon

We've watched a lot of bad movies for #monsterdon, but #VampiresOnBikiniBeach is a standout, because it's mostly bad in ways that are interesting. Like, the cinematography and sets and lighting and dialogue are all bad, but it's due to incompetence rather than lack of imagination or vision. None of it is *generic*. They made bold choices, and then executed those choices with almost no skill, and I respect that.

Evil greasers? Did Stephen King write this?
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

A flawed piece of crap from the 80s. 🤷‍♂️

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE_eYjHcPt8

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

I witnessed the least convincing running in cinematic history #Monsterdon

Also known as:
Um Vampiro na Califórnia

#Monsterdon

Fire.gif
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

I am betting Pumpkinhead 2 will be Shakespeare in comparison to the last film we watched.
#Monsterdon

So, yeah. That was probably made especially for film school students to watch as an example of how not to make a movie.

As always, thanks, @Taweret, for hosting, @cherizilla, for #MonsterdonBingo, @JoeWynne, for #MonsterdonDrink, and @ryan, for the live stream!

#Monsterdon

I don't know what to do with my life now #monsterdon

@wrog People were making claims and I have to help provide some context!

Frankly, Invasion of the Star Creatures was worse than this.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini