Those California Day For Nights.

#monsterdon

@paco They definitely did not receive their SNAP benefits on time. #Monsterdon

if yall didn't already see, this movie has 2/10 on imdb lol #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

#monsterdon

Why did I feel like the ballad "Sucker" was directed at me?

I love* it when ADR is indistinguishable from narration

#Monsterdon

Wow just brushed her neck with one fang and she's already swooned off this mortal coil. Critical fail on the CON check. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

#monsterdon Did, uh, did the movie keep going during the ads? Where did this vamp come from? o_o

I assume the studio that made this film went bankrupt paying people to sit through the performance.
#monsterdon

We do NOT CARE about your life story, kids.

#Monsterdon

@apLundell

Van Nuys?

#Monsterdon

Is that vampire Fez from that 1970s show?

#monsterdon

These kids are weird. Like uncanny valley of almost normal people. #Monsterdon #vampiresonbikinibeach

Is this vampire dude supposed to be sounding... I don't know, noble or something? I'm not really sure what vibe he's going for, lol.

#Monsterdon

Someone stake this guy so he'll shut up.

#Monsterdon

What is the 8th Doctor yapping about?
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon She didn't get bitten, she just passed out and he kinda turned her around and dropped her. LIKE A MAN.

The didactic vampire drones on #Monsterdon

And if she’s telling the story, how would she have known about the vampire’s monologue.

#Monsterdon

Explain in a monologue the movie plot, that's how the masters did it
#monsterdon

Vampire sounds like a wild and crazy guy #Monsterdon

exposition, please
#tmi
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 🧛‍♀️ 🧛‍♂️ 🏖️ 👙💪 🫣 😱

Not our first Monsterdon where they used RED to mean SCARY WORLD

Screaming orgasm? Me too, girl. Me too. #Monsterdon

Ah yes, ordering drinks with sexually provocative names to seem like a grown up.

#Monsterdon

"Excuse me"
"Yes?"
"Can I have a screaming orgasm?"
"Ma'am did we need to foreshadow that?"
#Monsterdon

All that time, I am still searching for my one means of escape.... 80s Synth Chords

#monsterdon

"BORING. Can you get on with the vampiring?"

#Monsterdon

"it is not the pleasure I seek... It is the lighting director"
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Bela G. Lugosi was in even worse movies.

sudden cut to vampire and vampire's exposition

#monsterdon

...on the shores of Loch Shiel, and I cannot die #monsterdon

👀 #monsterdon

Only serial killers find humor in serial killers. #monsterdon

IT'S TOMMY #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

It's really hard to talk with vampire fangs.

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

i am betting the director knew someone that worked in Club Eyesore.
#Monsterdon

I feel like “Weird Harold” is getting hit with the inverse of the “giving yourself a nickname” trope, where *everyone else* is trying to make it a thing when it’s clearly not a thing. Dude seems pretty normal? Like, just has hobbies and stuff?
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 🧛‍♀️ 🧛‍♂️ 🏖️ 👙💪 🫣 😱

Ah yes, the novelty cocktail names

"Wouldn't you like to see a murder vicim?"
"Sure. If it's you, cheese dick."
#monsterdon

Hi #monsterdon can you tell the difference between the people in this movie besides some being boy and others being girl?

oh this is satanic panic stuff too huh lmao #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

#monsterdon So, was that all supposed to be comedy?

#monsterdon Suggesting the LAPD usually *does* have a sense of humor?

I too, always drink with my bike gloves on.

#monsterdon

@Taweret@timeloop.cafe They keep the noise down by only having one table.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

I'm more fascinated by the challenge of writing good dialogue.

#Monsterdon

"Can I have a screaming orgasm?"

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

@paco I can't see it, over the sound of those teeth! #Monsterdon

SUCKAAAAAAAH!!!

SUCKAAAAAAAH!!!

Yeah yeah movie I see what you did there #Monsterdon

@arrjay "Only if I made it!"

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Everyone sit in a row because I'm not filming this more then once!!!
#monsterdon

#monsterdon Gorehounds are an unpopular breed. Very messy eaters with few boundaries.

man these kids just want to wear black and fuck in a graveyard

#monsterdon

The 80s was the decade of Faces of Death, so he's not entirely wrong...

#Monsterdon

I love a script where every line in an exchange starts with "YEAH" or "YEAH YEAH"

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

@wohali I can’t imagine these lyrics are a metaphor in a vampire movie ~ #monsterdon

gosh, this is one of the worst dress dept in a lot of #monsterdon movies we saw...

@paco At least you could break the news to him together. #Monsterdon

We get it! Vampries! News! gosh! #monsterdon

Weird Harold and the chick next to him want to go see a dead body. Foreshadowing?

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

oh no the movie is trying to be meta

#monsterdon

Oh. They just saw "Stand By Me", I guess. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

@lorgonumputz @paco said it sounded like the foley artist dropping marbles in a jar. Lol

#Monsterdon

Chekhov’s cocktail waitress.

#Monsterdon

Its like, the challenge of faxing death!

Oh, and cocaine.

#Monsterdon

Why isn't the drummer the one in the sleeveless shirt?

Oh, right, that would be too authentic for this movie.

#Monsterdon

this is a quietest club. perfect for a chat

#monsterdon

What the heck is this applause noise? Glass beads in a rotating drum? #Monsterdon

All of these “teen” actors are indistinguishable to me
#Monsterdon

Ah! Weird Harold is a drummer!

#monsterdon

No. Stop clapping. That is not... what the hell? You're at a live music venue. Has anyone ever done that at any small-venue performance? #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

So Harold, Bob, and Ed?

Those names are putting me to sleep.

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

what in the TGI Friday's is going on in this restaurant background

#monsterdon

"On tap okay"? LMAO #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

I'm guessing the voiceover was added later as an afterthought?

#Monsterdon

"And that's how I met your mother." #monsterdon

good idea, i could use a drink too

#monsterdon

A nice gentle rain shower to end their song #Monsterdon

@apLundell You had a cool grandma if she had all that 80s neon #monsterdon

No Kim, it's not trash, but this movie is.

#Monsterdon

and that's how we can tell harold can't drum

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Oh god, she *is* going to narrate the whole film.

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

HERE is where things get weird? here???

#monsterdon

Oh lord, the narration is just going to continue?

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Fun 80s nightclub, but the fake dancing 30 year olds are WAY TO OLD for this scene.

#Monsterdon

Is it just me or does that clapping sound like it's just raining outside?
#Monsterdon

The audio track on our version is so bad that the applause sounded like rain.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

What is with this applause? It sounds like tissue paper crumpling..

hangin out with the family. havin ourselves a party #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach #rifftrax

“I need you to write a rock song for this vampire movie”

“Ok, do you have a title in mind?”

“SUCKER!”

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon the skating rink has such fantastic acoustics!

did he say suck away? #monsterdon

Hey look, they have neon on tap at the bar!

#monsterdon

That applause SFX sounds like wrapping paper crinkling

#monsterdon
#VampireOnBikiniBeach

#monsterdon Uh, did they record some heavy rain to stand in for the applause? What the hell?

Oh, "suckers" in the song is a reference to vampires as well as cruddy people! This is foreshadowing!

It would work better if they hadn't already said "vampires" though.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

“Sucker!” Us or them? #Monsterdon

i love it when music gets edited by people who clearly don't give a shit about music #monsterdon

Suckaaaaaaaa! C'mon, #Monsterdon, let's all sing it!

So far, there has been very little beach or bikinis, and absolutely no vampires.

#Monsterdon