Those girls are applauding that couple having softcore sex?

#monsterdon
#VampiresOnBikiniBeach

applauding the sex scene eh?
#Monsterdon

whatcha doing?
writing a song!
but it just says wa wah waaaah on that page.
Yeah and?
#Monsterdon

@wohali Are you not subject to the Tubi ad breaks and are just going to keep getting ahead!

Or does Tubi just think I need extra Ad Breaks for not having watched enough #monsterdon ?

Did she just happen to to be wearing that nightie under her dress?
The clothing changes have me very confused. Well so does the movie in general.

#Monsterdon

and now the not-ready-for-softcore players

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

🎵 "It′s been a long road. Getting from there to here." 🎶 #monsterdon

Oh look, stars in the bedroom OH THEY'RE CANDLES THAT COULD NOT EXIST IN A SPACE THAT WASN'T THERE.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

#monsterdon Wow, The director really thinks he's being artistic.

aren't these ppl supposed to be minors???? #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

“Would you like to have sex now?”
“Sure, just let me light a couple dozen candles first.” #Monsterdon

queue sex scenes as we soften the lighting to BLUR

#monsterdon

Seems like we're about to get definitive proof of 80s movie. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

These hairstyles were on everyone's head when I was in high school.
#Monsterdon

C'mon we're going to lose the audience if they don't get some softcore porn #monsterdon

Is... Is that dress made of denim?

A jeress? #Monsterdon

like so far we have baby goth couple and... this lady and the photographer and soft focus sex scene

#monsterdon

Does anyone know what is even going on with this plot or how these characters relate to each other? #monsterdon

@Taweret@timeloop.cafe Very bold of the writers to set a tepid vampire flick against a backdrop of global destruction via the moon impacting the earth.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

uhhhhhh #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Wait, did he have a night dress she could wear?
#monsterdon

The chemistry between these two is like saturday morning dishwater.
#monsterdon

called it #monsterdon

so this soundtrack singer guy is the director's cousin or something, yes?

#monsterdon

Ughhhh is this the set for that one Police song?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Oh yeah, this photography montage isn't annoying at all! Dunno what you were all worried about.

The camera flash photoshoot shots were kinda cool actually? Interesting, at least.
#monsterdon

"I wonder what's under this cabinet"
#Monsterdon

which couple is this. this isn't the same couple we were focusing on before right

#monsterdon

oh dear fuck, are they romancing each other, is that what this is?

#Monsterdon

@apLundell

But then you'd see their "acting"

#monsterdon

"you're really something you know that?"

yeah, and we're all trying to figure out what.

#monsterdon

Is that her sexy face? It looks more like constipated dork.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

#monsterdon "Come over here, and BRING THE COFFEE WENCH!” ;)

Well ok. Just say the whole plot why don’t you. Weird vamp. #Monsterdon #vampiresonbikinibeach

aren't we all something, deep down #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

"whyyyyyy why why [did you vote for this]"

(it's okay, I voted for it too)

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I left home a few months ago. Now I live in a pizza box!

this is gonna get creepy in a minute ain't it #monsterdon

They could have showed that guy taking a dump for all I care about his back story. #monsterdon

I didn't think the soundtrack could get worse, but here we are…

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

@apLundell It's a silly wet.
#monsterdon

which is the better vampire movie song?

#monsterdon

WORK IT BABY!!

hahaha
#monsterdon

is the moon still about to crash into Clock Town?

#monsterdon

That looked like that time my friends and I messed around with a strobe light in 4th grade.
#Monsterdon

@flowerpot I think the count is 2 onscreen and 2 offscreen

#Monsterdon

"I wanna get in my jeep, there's so much of this country to see."

VAMPIRE ON BIKINI BEACH 2: VAMPIRE ON BIKINI ROAD TRIP!

#Monsterdon

WE GET IT

YOU'RE "SHOOTING PHOTOS"

#monsterdon

"In camera audio sucks on the beach, and ADR is too expensive, so we're gonna just not gonna record your faces, and you'll do voice over, ok?"

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

It must be hard to hit the shutter so it syncs with the xenon strobe....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Craaaap, we know where the epileptics are. Damn strobe effects.

nothing has ever made me hate the 80s as much as this #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

#monsterdon so is this a real vampire or a Tommy Wiseau vampire because

That's this whole film's entire fan club _right_ there.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Oh yeah, this wasn't redubbed later at a studio...
#monsterdon

Vampire Accent is like a total linguistic tour of Europe #Monsterdon

the noir aspect has to have been added due to no one being able to record clean sound on a shoot.
#Monsterdon

i wish i'd gotten in someone's jeep and gotten out of here before i watched this movie, sir. maybe just have the actors read their character backstories in private, we don't need to record it?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Traditionally, you'd want some light on your actors' faces.

I guess this is artistic.

I stepped away. Has anyone been bitten yet?
#Monsterdon

Was it me, or did the vampire stumble on a couple of words in that monologue, and they just said, “Fuck it. We only have the studio time for 5 more minutes. Keep going.”

#Monsterdon

Excellent ADR. (A Directors bRoomcloset) #monsterdon

I want to see it all! Except Nebraska. Nothing but corn out there.
#Monsterdon

I keep having to groan out load, ugh...

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Discarded like a Capri-sun pouch.

Those California Day For Nights.

#monsterdon

@paco They definitely did not receive their SNAP benefits on time. #Monsterdon

if yall didn't already see, this movie has 2/10 on imdb lol #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

#monsterdon

Why did I feel like the ballad "Sucker" was directed at me?

I love* it when ADR is indistinguishable from narration

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Did, uh, did the movie keep going during the ads? Where did this vamp come from? o_o

Wow just brushed her neck with one fang and she's already swooned off this mortal coil. Critical fail on the CON check. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

I assume the studio that made this film went bankrupt paying people to sit through the performance.
#monsterdon

We do NOT CARE about your life story, kids.

#Monsterdon

@apLundell

Van Nuys?

#Monsterdon

Is that vampire Fez from that 1970s show?

#monsterdon

These kids are weird. Like uncanny valley of almost normal people. #Monsterdon #vampiresonbikinibeach

Is this vampire dude supposed to be sounding... I don't know, noble or something? I'm not really sure what vibe he's going for, lol.

#Monsterdon

What is the 8th Doctor yapping about?
#Monsterdon

Someone stake this guy so he'll shut up.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon She didn't get bitten, she just passed out and he kinda turned her around and dropped her. LIKE A MAN.

That tear is the MVP of this scene

#MOnsterdon

The didactic vampire drones on #Monsterdon

And if she’s telling the story, how would she have known about the vampire’s monologue.

#Monsterdon

Explain in a monologue the movie plot, that's how the masters did it
#monsterdon

Vampire sounds like a wild and crazy guy #Monsterdon

exposition, please
#tmi
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 🧛‍♀️ 🧛‍♂️ 🏖️ 👙💪 🫣 😱

Not our first Monsterdon where they used RED to mean SCARY WORLD

Screaming orgasm? Me too, girl. Me too. #Monsterdon

"I have but one path to travel if I am to know eternal rest... I-95"

#Monsterdon

Ah yes, ordering drinks with sexually provocative names to seem like a grown up.

#Monsterdon

"Excuse me"
"Yes?"
"Can I have a screaming orgasm?"
"Ma'am did we need to foreshadow that?"
#Monsterdon

All that time, I am still searching for my one means of escape.... 80s Synth Chords

#monsterdon

"BORING. Can you get on with the vampiring?"

#Monsterdon

LISA YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

"it is not the pleasure I seek... It is the lighting director"
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Bela G. Lugosi was in even worse movies.

sudden cut to vampire and vampire's exposition

#monsterdon

...on the shores of Loch Shiel, and I cannot die #monsterdon