BWAHHAHAHAHA the tough guy and gal's lines

this is like a suburban 12 year old's idea of what tough people are

#monsterdon

#monsterdon All the dangerous words were just muted. AHAHAHAHAHAH

An antique book! #Monsterdon

She said "face" but the subtitles said "tits" 🤣

#Monsterdon

"I feel so spooky out here."

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

OOPS dropped the Occido Lumens. As you do #thestrain #monsterdon

What? The profanity is blanked out?

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

I hope what she found was a cool-ass Grimoire.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Don't have sour grapes CLARK!

This book looks like a book!

#Monsterdon

you dropped your generic Book of the Dead!

#monsterdon

@ramsey

There is not.

#Monsterdon

So Exposition Vampire wants to be truly dead, xor else be in a world inhabited solely by vampires…who are all going to be very hungry after only a short while.

#monsterdon
#VampiresOnBikiniBeach

#monsterdon She tripped over a tree root, in the city, on a perfectly flat sidewalk.

Don't tell me we're getting exposition via *randomly found book*?! #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

@jonny WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAAAAAAAME #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

@plaidtron3000 this dialog really is something #monsterdon

Okay, I agree with Kim.

This movie is not worth it.

#Monsterdon

Oh gosh, this is really award winning acting.
Raspberry, btw.
#monsterdon

Hahahaha the necroNOTicon!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Ahh yes, the Vaseline lens for the sex-scenes. Also, where did this dude get so many candles?

KLATTU BARADA NECKTIE

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

teeth wrote the lyrics. that checks out.
#Monsterdon

@neia @Taweret Technically the Moon could not impact if it was that close by going exponentially faster.

Of course, it would probably siphon off significant amounts of the Earth's atmosphere, wreck all the oceans, and drive weather into apocalyptic destruction levels.

#Monsterdon

So wait, she's wearing the Jeress, then she's naked under the blanket, then she's wearing something when she climbs on top? Did she put it on? Maybe the room's cold? #Monsterdon

8 8.5 9 8.1

#Monsterdon

I’m so confused! Is there a movie in here somewhere?

#Monsterdon

@Dianora @apLundell You guys are watcjing the shape of water?!... #Monsterdon

The post-sex applause. DYING. 🤣 #monsterdon

80s movie, but no boobs, only side butt. weird.

#Monsterdon

NGL she DOES have a sexy voice.

#Monsterdon

mercifully brief sex scene at least

#monsterdon

BUTT :blobastonished: #Monsterdon

Denied! #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

Ass. Like this movie! #monsterdon

Lol they're have sex in a Meatloaf music video

#Monsterdon

Those girls are applauding that couple having softcore sex?

#monsterdon
#VampiresOnBikiniBeach

applauding the sex scene eh?
#Monsterdon

whatcha doing?
writing a song!
but it just says wa wah waaaah on that page.
Yeah and?
#Monsterdon

@wohali Are you not subject to the Tubi ad breaks and are just going to keep getting ahead!

Or does Tubi just think I need extra Ad Breaks for not having watched enough #monsterdon ?

Did she just happen to to be wearing that nightie under her dress?
The clothing changes have me very confused. Well so does the movie in general.

#Monsterdon

and now the not-ready-for-softcore players

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

🎵 "It′s been a long road. Getting from there to here." 🎶 #monsterdon

Oh look, stars in the bedroom OH THEY'RE CANDLES THAT COULD NOT EXIST IN A SPACE THAT WASN'T THERE.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

#monsterdon Wow, The director really thinks he's being artistic.

aren't these ppl supposed to be minors???? #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

queue sex scenes as we soften the lighting to BLUR

#monsterdon

Seems like we're about to get definitive proof of 80s movie. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

These hairstyles were on everyone's head when I was in high school.
#Monsterdon

C'mon we're going to lose the audience if they don't get some softcore porn #monsterdon

Is... Is that dress made of denim?

A jeress? #Monsterdon

like so far we have baby goth couple and... this lady and the photographer and soft focus sex scene

#monsterdon

Does anyone know what is even going on with this plot or how these characters relate to each other? #monsterdon

@Taweret@timeloop.cafe Very bold of the writers to set a tepid vampire flick against a backdrop of global destruction via the moon impacting the earth.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

uhhhhhh #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Wait, did he have a night dress she could wear?
#monsterdon

The chemistry between these two is like saturday morning dishwater.
#monsterdon

called it #monsterdon

so this soundtrack singer guy is the director's cousin or something, yes?

#monsterdon

Ughhhh is this the set for that one Police song?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Oh yeah, this photography montage isn't annoying at all! Dunno what you were all worried about.

The camera flash photoshoot shots were kinda cool actually? Interesting, at least.
#monsterdon

"I wonder what's under this cabinet"
#Monsterdon

which couple is this. this isn't the same couple we were focusing on before right

#monsterdon

oh dear fuck, are they romancing each other, is that what this is?

#Monsterdon

@apLundell

But then you'd see their "acting"

#monsterdon

"you're really something you know that?"

yeah, and we're all trying to figure out what.

#monsterdon

Is that her sexy face? It looks more like constipated dork.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

#monsterdon "Come over here, and BRING THE COFFEE WENCH!” ;)

Well ok. Just say the whole plot why don’t you. Weird vamp. #Monsterdon #vampiresonbikinibeach

aren't we all something, deep down #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

"whyyyyyy why why [did you vote for this]"

(it's okay, I voted for it too)

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I left home a few months ago. Now I live in a pizza box!

this is gonna get creepy in a minute ain't it #monsterdon

I didn't think the soundtrack could get worse, but here we are…

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

@apLundell It's a silly wet.
#monsterdon

which is the better vampire movie song?

#monsterdon

WORK IT BABY!!

hahaha
#monsterdon

is the moon still about to crash into Clock Town?

#monsterdon

That looked like that time my friends and I messed around with a strobe light in 4th grade.
#Monsterdon

@flowerpot I think the count is 2 onscreen and 2 offscreen

#Monsterdon

"I wanna get in my jeep, there's so much of this country to see."

VAMPIRE ON BIKINI BEACH 2: VAMPIRE ON BIKINI ROAD TRIP!

#Monsterdon

WE GET IT

YOU'RE "SHOOTING PHOTOS"

#monsterdon

"In camera audio sucks on the beach, and ADR is too expensive, so we're gonna just not gonna record your faces, and you'll do voice over, ok?"

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

It must be hard to hit the shutter so it syncs with the xenon strobe....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Craaaap, we know where the epileptics are. Damn strobe effects.

nothing has ever made me hate the 80s as much as this #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

#monsterdon so is this a real vampire or a Tommy Wiseau vampire because

That's this whole film's entire fan club _right_ there.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Oh yeah, this wasn't redubbed later at a studio...
#monsterdon

Vampire Accent is like a total linguistic tour of Europe #Monsterdon

the noir aspect has to have been added due to no one being able to record clean sound on a shoot.
#Monsterdon

i wish i'd gotten in someone's jeep and gotten out of here before i watched this movie, sir. maybe just have the actors read their character backstories in private, we don't need to record it?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Traditionally, you'd want some light on your actors' faces.

I guess this is artistic.

I stepped away. Has anyone been bitten yet?
#Monsterdon

Was it me, or did the vampire stumble on a couple of words in that monologue, and they just said, “Fuck it. We only have the studio time for 5 more minutes. Keep going.”

#Monsterdon

Excellent ADR. (A Directors bRoomcloset) #monsterdon

I want to see it all! Except Nebraska. Nothing but corn out there.
#Monsterdon

I keep having to groan out load, ugh...

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Discarded like a Capri-sun pouch.