@paco yarrr matey #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Lady's got Necronomicon, Volume 2 #monsterdon

#monsterdon Ladies just loooove being shoved up against brick alley walls, right? Also, foley guy? Do you exist? If so, I hope you're ashamed of this film.

They didn't hire any actors eh?

#Monsterdon

"We don't usually get weirdos like that around here..."

Were these two the kind of weirdos you usually get?
#monsterdon

nice parking, jackasses #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

waking up from a nightmare and doing a booty call

#monsterdon

Suddenly the book looks strapped down ? #Monsterdon

You didn't say the words before picking it up! Klaatu verata nobadmovie! #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

"Something bizarre happening, I almost set the book on fire by leaving it next to the fireplace I lit on the middle of the summer! "
#Monsterdon #VapiresOnBikiniBeach

OH: "This movie is a mess. I'm mad now. I want the 'gator movie." #monsterdon

The book smokes.

It also watched bad movies and stays out too late. Get rid of it.

#Monsterdon

Who puts an antique book right next to the fireplace??? #Monsterdon

the book is a SPICY PILLOW!

#monsterdon

oh no the ashtray is smoking? is that an ashtray? was it supposed to be scary?

#monsterdon

Oh no. I'm late for #Monsterdon

Okay. Cued up. Skipped a bit, playing 2X.... I shall catch up...

Okay. We've had bikinis. Also vampire.

Wow, that was sort of quick...

18 min More beach...

Camera flash effect. That was a such a trope.

19:30...

20:00...

20:30.. back to normal>

Um, this sex scene was kind of sudden...

Why did you leave the book right next to the fireplace?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon The Necronomicon gets a Pee Wee's oh-oh-ohhh-no sound effect. EXCELLENT.

@SnoopJ lol sounds about right, I'm quickly working up to that

#Monsterdon

"I feel spooky."

You don't look Goth enough to feel spooky, Honey. #Monsterdon

@moira

and "tits"

Subs said "I'm gonna rip off your tits", audio changed to "face"

#Monsterdon

Being perfectly honest, I find an old book like that, yes, I'm reading it
#monsterdon

"Hello, room service?"

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

YOU MUST NOT READ FROM THE BOOK #monsterdon

@apLundell shh I know, just for the joke... also thanks, i think #Monsterdon

@sean 🖕

;)
#Monsterdon

The book is smoking.

I hate it when books smell like smokers.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

not the fucking voice synth choir 😭

#Monsterdon

It's the mission impossible book in self destruct mode
#monsterdon

#monsterdon Perfectly normal for a "street thug" to just stab a guy as soon as he comes around the corner.

That's how they do things On The Street.

#monsterdon What the hell? Just walking around with a six inch dagger?

worse, that's not the vampire. that's PG&E here to fix the meter.

#monsterdon

That's a great looking couch. Super comfortable and not at all scratchy I guess.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

He was gently guided out of frame to death

#Monsterdon

Oh no! He's been gently caressed to death after obviously not stabbing a guy!

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Stabbing makes no impact. No sound, no physics, nothing. Are vampires made out of hot butter?

#Monsterdon

lol, David Harbour's weird stabbing action

#MOnsterdon

That is the quietest stabbing I think I've ever heard in a movie
#Monsterdon

I gotta admit, I, too, would think stabbing someone twice in the dick would be effective.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

I'm rooting for those crazy kids. By which I mean the street pirate and his foul mouthed lady friend. #Monsterdon

@otheorange_tag He clearly was turned before that was a thing. #Monsterdon

I want to see a whole movie about the escapades of knife guy and “rip-off-your-tits” girl.

#Monsterdon

stab him in the dick. completely silently #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Everyone is so friendly here #Monsterdon

is this fucking jaws music

#monsterdon

Yeah, stand right There. I LOVE it when you stand in a flashing red light!

#monsterdon

Ah, mustachio'd vampire bait and his girlfriend.

#Monsterdon

late to #Monsterdon today

So far I have determined there is not, repeat NOT, any action happening

.... my file censored those curses. huh. #monsterdon

are some people about to be killed? finally???

#monsterdon

and I was getting invested in these two
#monsterdon

The subtle background scream while they were talking was actually the camera crew realizing what movie they were working on.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

@kshernandez Biology class, it's important! #Monsterdon

Oh wow, she self-censored. How thoughtful?

#Monsterdon

Why did I half expect them to show the cover and it said "The Vampire Bible"?
#Monsterdon

My boyfriend always takes his kitchen knife when we go out for a stroll on the beach #Monsterdon

That is why Vulcan mind melds must only be done by professionals, not wannabe mall goths!
#Monsterdon #VapiresOnBikiniBeach

I always be dropping my grimoire, relatable
#monsterdon

that was incredible #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

At least the weird couple lnew a little acting
#monsterdon

Wait, is this a censored for TV edit?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon All the dangerous words were just muted. AHAHAHAHAHAH

BWAHHAHAHAHA the tough guy and gal's lines

this is like a suburban 12 year old's idea of what tough people are

#monsterdon

An antique book! #Monsterdon

She said "face" but the subtitles said "tits" 🤣

#Monsterdon

"I feel so spooky out here."

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

OOPS dropped the Occido Lumens. As you do #thestrain #monsterdon

What? The profanity is blanked out?

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

#monsterdon Don't have sour grapes CLARK!

I hope what she found was a cool-ass Grimoire.

#Monsterdon

This book looks like a book!

#Monsterdon

you dropped your generic Book of the Dead!

#monsterdon

@ramsey

There is not.

#Monsterdon

So Exposition Vampire wants to be truly dead, xor else be in a world inhabited solely by vampires…who are all going to be very hungry after only a short while.

#monsterdon
#VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Don't tell me we're getting exposition via *randomly found book*?! #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

#monsterdon She tripped over a tree root, in the city, on a perfectly flat sidewalk.

lol, where did that book come from?

#Monsterdon

@jonny WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAAAAAAAME #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

@plaidtron3000 this dialog really is something #monsterdon

Okay, I agree with Kim.

This movie is not worth it.

#Monsterdon

Oh gosh, this is really award winning acting.
Raspberry, btw.
#monsterdon

Hahahaha the necroNOTicon!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Ahh yes, the Vaseline lens for the sex-scenes. Also, where did this dude get so many candles?

KLATTU BARADA NECKTIE

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

teeth wrote the lyrics. that checks out.
#Monsterdon

@neia @Taweret Technically the Moon could not impact if it was that close by going exponentially faster.

Of course, it would probably siphon off significant amounts of the Earth's atmosphere, wreck all the oceans, and drive weather into apocalyptic destruction levels.

#Monsterdon

So wait, she's wearing the Jeress, then she's naked under the blanket, then she's wearing something when she climbs on top? Did she put it on? Maybe the room's cold? #Monsterdon

8 8.5 9 8.1

#Monsterdon

I’m so confused! Is there a movie in here somewhere?

#Monsterdon

@Dianora @apLundell You guys are watcjing the shape of water?!... #Monsterdon

The post-sex applause. DYING. 🤣 #monsterdon

"You disappeared last night."
"Lets just say we... disappeared."

That's quality dialog

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

80s movie, but no boobs, only side butt. weird.

#Monsterdon

NGL she DOES have a sexy voice.

#Monsterdon

mercifully brief sex scene at least

#monsterdon

*cuts to applause

That's how I like sex to go to, with an audience applauding

#Monsterdon

BUTT :blobastonished: #Monsterdon

Denied! #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

Ass. Like this movie! #monsterdon

Lol they're have sex in a Meatloaf music video

#Monsterdon