MEANWHILE, IN THE ADR BOOTH
#Monsterdon

@Dianora and also filmed in Ottawa!

#monsterdon

"Their heads were squished together ... like jelly"

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Meanwhile in a more interesting corner of the interwebs. #monsterdon

Those decors, tho.

#Monsterdon

"I think we can put an end to these evil happenings." What evil happenings? Someone knocked the lady on her butt and that's basically the only thing anyone saw happen!

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

You lot watched "Jesus Christ Vampire hunter" yet?

Oh that movie was actually decent. Never mind.

#Monsterdon

Almost Father Guido Sarducci #Monsterdon

I feel like Neil Breen could show up in this and it wouldn't make it much worse #monsterdon

they're not sideburns. they're like...head..burns? #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Oh yeah, I love listening to a radio tuned between stations!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Oh wow, creepiest priest I've ever seen. Nice casting!

#monsterdon

The old folks in this movie are acting so shittily that they are making the kids acting look good.

oh, this is Doctor Priest.

#monsterdon

Priest is a goner, calling it

#Monsterdon

"leave this book with me tonight"

He's selling it kids and you just got hustled

#Monsterdon

Leave this book with me tonight, I want to lick its pages
#monsterdon

so this guy's whole house is gonna burn down if they leave the book huh

#monsterdon

@wohali A creepy old bookseller needs to upsell other books. That’s how you get addicted to buying used books. What do you think that shop is, a library where librarians just tell you stuff for free?

#monsterdon

This priest looks like a child molester if you ask me.
#monsterdon

again scary
is she in a film that differs from the one we are watching???
#Monsterdon

Okay, but a catholic priest knowing a bunch of plot-relevant demonology is a fun bit.

#Monsterdon

There's a lot of actions in here where the sound is nonexistent. No car noise, no doorbell... Just synth behind EVERYTHING. #Monsterdon

I'm getting tired of these bikinis on the beach

#monsterdon
#VampireOnBikiniBeach

So is this the required real estate scene? Oh, no, just a priestly encounter #Monsterdon

If you took an oath to fight evil, why are you appearing in this fillm? Checkmate, father. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

Ok that's enough for me, goodnight! #Monsterdon

[meta note: Miru keeps glitching out on me every so often but it gets fixed by a reload] #monsterdon

"...how would a priest know about evil?"
"You're kidding right?"

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

#monsterdon Whenever I meet a priest, I greet him by angrily shouting "YOU'RE A PRIEST?!?"

i might take a break from this movie to fold some laundry lmao

#monsterdon

(16 minutes in) Is that the James Bond chord progression I hear in the background while the vampire is talking

This vampire is practically the opposite of Bond in every way

#Monsterdon

Yes, I am a very wealthy priest

#monsterdon

@strangefour oh my God that's why it seems so familiar! It has that exact feeling! When does Tex Murphy show up?

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

oh dig that exterior house door though. bring back non-rectangular doors.

#monsterdon

"I'd like to uh, take it in the back."

Sir!! This is a family film!

#Monsterdon

@Violinknitter

You would think. But who knows..?

#Monsterdon

oh but the firey cursed book just wants to be loved! let's take it home and feed it martinis.
Logic
#Monsterdon

AUUUUGGHHH!!! #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

@cherizilla Exactly!

https://don.monster/@ramsey/115523022834163414

#Monsterdon

"So I really want the film to kinda brush along the surface of the story. Depth is for people who have more than 65 minutes to tell a story. Spend plenty of time focusing on the driving. Parking. Plenty of it. Moving the plot along is for movies shot on film."

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

What a creepy priest.

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

#monsterdon Those jeans are so tight you can make out the grand canyon of boy-cheeks. LOL

Coming in late from a podcast session and I can already tell from the line reads that this is a winner.

#monsterdon

@jivens it's better than playing baseball with them in a thunderstorm, like they do up in Washington.

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

@Taweret "KEEP ROLLING!" #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

"Yes that's all.. Turns out books of demon worshipping cultists are a dime a dozen."
#Monsterdon

The sound mixing for this movie was done a Walkman ​:ablobcatheadphones:​ 😬

#Monsterdon #VapiresOnBikiniBeach

And now 2+ minutes of ads. Dang it.

#Monsterdon

Nice Jeep, at least.

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Man walks into the back of the book store and is gone for about 5 seconds.

“What’s taking him so long?”

The director hadn't yet taken the pacing course in film school.

#Monsterdon

This guy is the most tight lipped professor type I have ever seen. A real expositor would launch into a 45 minute ad hoc lecture on Necrronomiconica. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

This is like Antiques Roadshow but with butts and less exciting #Monsterdon

#monsterdon The Middle Ages?

That book is about a thousand years old?

Ah yes. Cults of demon worshipers. One of the most 80s horror backstories there is.
#Monsterdon

This music isn't helping the script and only annoys me at this point.
#Monsterdon

"It's what you call a book of the dead ..."

Why can nobody deliver their lines with a bit of feeling ...

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Tweed jacket and grey hair. Professor type. check!

#Monsterdon

Is he wearing a tweed jacket over a cardigan? How fucking cold is that library?

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

(15 minutes in) You know who could have a sense of humor when it comes to serial killers

#Monsterdon

Necronomicon in 'Cast a Deadly Spell' in #SundayFunnies this afternoon much spookier

#Monsterdon

I couldn't tell if he forgot his line or broke off dramatically

#monsterdon

i dig the jacket #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Whoever voted for this movie. #monsterdon

"Anyone can tell you a burning book is nothing for TWO FOOLS to deal with!"

Haha just lightening the mood a little, in my own personal reminiscing, about why the guy I like is in a hospital coma or something

#Monsterdon

Question: So, if a vampire drains someone in a house is that a break in or are they dinning in? #Monsterdon

A better monsterdon movie might have been "Radioactive Vampires from Bikini Atoll" or something 🧛👙​:godzilla:​
#Monsterdon #VapiresOnBikiniBeach

well, it's what you call a book of the dead. But that's all I can tell you about it.

#monsterdon

Why are they even lying about how they got the Necronomicon?

Just seemed like such a weirdly random lie.

#Monsterdon

Ash is going to need that book.

#Monsterdon

why the hell wouldn't you just sell the creepy fire book that this guy is willing to pay good money for

#monsterdon

Why would you not want to sell the book? It's worth a lot of money

#monsterdon
#VampireOnBikiniBeach

A NECRONOMICON EX MORTIS?? #monsterdon

Wow, the Necronomicon can't even revive this dead film.

#Monsterdon

This scene I call “sexy antiques roadshow”.

#Monsterdon

no, fun is definitely not the word for anything that's gone on indeed in the last half an hour.

#monsterdon

Is this movie like English dubbed English? #Monsterdon #vampiresonbikinibeach

The voiceover is really elucidating the complex, nuanced plot for me—I would be soooo lost without it!
#monsterdon

Correct characher that I don't remember the name, this movie is weird, it gives me the creeps, not a good one.
#monsterdon

Was that a cemetery of surfboards? #Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

(13 minutes in) This is where things *start* to get pretty weird?

#Monsterdon

imhoteeeeep #monsterdon

a very convenient seaside antique bookstore, that

#monsterdon

"There could be something in all this."

"Yes. Pages. It's a book."

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

“Anyone can tell you that a burning book is nothing for two fools to deal with” #Monsterdon

I want to take it in the back and lick it's pages

be right back...
#monsterdon

That doesn't count! The biting was off camera!
Wait.
Did, did she just do a shitty voice-over?
#Monsterdon

"Can you tell us anything about this book?"

"Well, it appears to be a photo album from 1969... I'll be right back, gotta stick it in the NMR to be sure."

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

*calls his vampire friends* "I don't know how but they got the fucking book!"
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I want to run the kind of bookshop where teens bring their necronomicons.

The bookstore guy should really be played by Roddy McDowell #Monsterdon

@SnoopJ Oh, they never try fire! #stillBitter #Monsterdon

Movie stopped playing and I didn't notice because the feed was more interesting. Maybe time to call it tonight.

#Monsterdon

Wait we're back to the V/O?
#Monsterdon

why do we keep mentioning aliens?

#monsterdon

I don't know WTF is going on but I like the cars in this #Monsterdon

Goiânia accident all over again.

#Monsterdon

Finally, the nerd of the movie has arrived

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

We are about to find out if The Californians can fight vampires on the beach.

There is definitely something weird here. We need the Scooby gang.

#Monsterdon