#Monsterdon

The vampire attacks in this movie are such non-events, huh?

#monsterdon

I have never cared for anyone less than the people in this movie.

ok, so all of the vampirification happens offscreen? oh wait... ask and ye shall receive (nice masks!)

#monsterdon

I have to hand it to them.

This movie continues to surprise every few minutes.

#monsterdon

......

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHA

HAHAH

AHAHHAH
HAH
HA.

HEH.

huh.

#monsterdon

I want a whole film of just that alley scene. Waiting for Godot with vampires.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

#monsterdon Are these vampires wearing ponchos? That's like...the worst possible version of a cape.

the rest of the movie is just these chumps waiting in the alley for their friend.

#monsterdon

It FEELS like 2:30am.

#Monsterdon

the wait, is that the same vampire as before?
Oh no, they saved Bob

who was the guy with the sword?

so much denim

#Monsterdon

This is one 80s movie that more boobs might've improved.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

#Monsterdon 🧛 🧛‍♀️ 🧛‍♂️ 🏖️ 👙💪 🫣 😱

i have no idea why any of these things are (a) happening (b) being shown to us nor (c) scored like that

Does L.A. really have Scottish closes? #Monsterdon

What is this now, Shia LaBeouf Live?
#Monsterdon

Wow I bet the story looked real good on paper

#monsterdon

@tuckerm wow you are not wrong

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

NOT SINCE REALMS OF THE HAUNTING! #Monsterdon

Hell yes!
#Monsterdon

NOW we have hit quality. Masks and swords! #monsterdon

is this a different vampire? what happened to the first one?

#monsterdon

Oh, they have a makeup budget!

#Monsterdon

Was the necrowomblicomputator relevant to the story? I've lost track.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

What is with the casually homophobic graffiti?
#Monsterdon

ronald reagan! #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

(39 minutes in) I dunno that did a great impression of a miniature exploding Death Star, I'd call that very Star Wars

#Monsterdon

Are those kids buying drugs?
#Monsterdon

This is the most low-effort indoor set since "Vampires in Graffiti'd Alley". #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

Because computers. Computers can solve anything. #Monsterdon #vampiresonbikinibeach

With those boots and that denim it's clear she's come dressed as a "grieving conservative widow"

#Monsterdon

It's close to miiiiiidnight
#monsterdon

THRILL! To the musical sting of LEAVING BY THAT DOOR!

#monsterdon

... why did they choose a dark alley to meet up with weird harold?

#monsterdon

@starkraving666 UGH. ANOTHER time travel episode?!

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Tell me he didn't touch that puddle then taste it.... #Monsterdon

sneak sneak sneak up on Bob...
#Monsterdon

It looks like they got their costumes for this movie from Spirit Halloween.

#Monsterdon

Unfortunately, while having our beach campfire we are ambushed by Beach Vampires and eaten.

Note: Beach Vampires advance very slowly, so if you see any you should just walk away; they won't be able to catch you.

#monsterdon

@ramsey this would be a great comic book series

#Monsterdon

Damn, I never knew vampires were such silent killers.
#Monsterdon

Robert really needs to pop that collar more

#Monsterdon

Is bob dead?
is that it?

#MOnsterdon

is that...ooze?

is this the prequel to The Secret of The Ooze?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon What the hell was that supposed to do?! Also foley guy, you continue to suck.

I know people've been saying this all along, but I can no longer tell any of the cast apart.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

We actually had a stinger!

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

#monsterdon

This movie just had its backlit through fog Steven Spielberg moment..

Was that a different group of teens who got vampired? I thought I was finally going to learn some names!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Lead has a thigh gap, so he is now referred to as bowlegged twiggy.

i can't believe this horror movie actually did a recitation of hook hand car door

#monsterdon

#monsterdon wait I got another story

"So there was this kid,

he owned a dog.

The dog was extremely shaggy...."

#vampireOnBikiniBeach

lol, who is he. The Equaliser?

#Monsterdon

I wish omega man wasn't always paywalled. it would be fun for #monsterdon

@blueemu

“Moving on.”

#Monsterdon

Love how we don't see anything (I presume because they spent the budget on, um, coke?)
#monsterdon

I spoke too soon.
#monsterdon

Oh my! Beach slaughter? #Monsterdon

We decide to have a beach campfire to tell boring stories that are supposed to be scary.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Isn't it pretty awful that even his bandmate calls him Weird Harold?

#monsterdon They don't scream, it's really just rollercoaster wheees on Venice beach

squee squee and cut to the next scene!
#monsterdon

the spotlight on the graffiti that just says "gay"

:chefkiss:

#monsterdon

This isn’t something we should be mixed up in. So let’s just pick everything up and meddle with the crime scene. #Monsterdon #vampiresonbikinibeach

The Hoodies are coming! Watch out!
#Monsterdon

VAMPIRES GRAB EVERYONE DIES

#monsterdon

go on. pick up the two sticks and make a cross. Just like every other vampire movie does.

#Monsterdon

@lorgonumputz

Then went on a shooting spree around L.A.

#Monsterdon #DFENS

I bet this played on USA Up All Night back in the day. I can almost see the transitions to the commercials. #monsterdon

For similar scenes better done, see "The Deathmaster" starring Robert "Count Yorga" Quarry.

#monsterdon
#VampiresOnBikiniBeach

This meeting of the midnight society is kinda boring.
#monsterdon

(35 minutes in) Side effects may include complete loss of soundtrack

#Monsterdon

Can it please be over?

#Monsterdon

Beach party attacked by the Least Boys

#Monsterdon

Yay! The nerd built an anti-vampire balloon rocket!
#Monsterdon

Hey guys, you're blocking the shot. Could you.... oh forget it. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

"...I'm Franz, and this is Hanz. We're here to suck you up!"

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

Are these vampires or just cultists?

#Monsterdon

wow..... those screams...

such acting!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Where there's smoke, there's book!

man & girl go out to drive under moonlight. they stop at on at a side of road. he turn to his girl and say: "baby, i love you very much" "what is it honey?" "our car is broken down. i think the engine is broken, ill walk and get some more fuel." "ok. ill stay here and look after our stereo. there have been news report of steres being stolen." "good idea. keep the doors locked no matter what. i love you sweaty"

so the guy left to get full for the car. after two hours the girl say "where is my baby, he was supposed to be back by now". then the girl here a scratching sound and a voice say "LET ME IN"

the girl doesn't do it and then after a while she goes to sleep. the next morning she wakes up and finds her boyfriend still not there. she gets out to check and man door hand hook car door.

#Monsterdon

We go to visit Weird Harold, who has a child as a greeter, who explains that Weird Harold is launching rockets. Weird Harold explains that he's launching a "Star Wars Defense System" (a reference to a cancelled missile defense system in the 80s), by which he means a balloon that lights itself on fire.

#monsterdon

Aren't they a little old to be telling The Hook?

#Monsterdon

what TOS episode is this!?!??! #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

what if someone with a sharp metal hook had come for the writers of this movie before they met the cameramen.

#monsterdon

Not the old “hook on the door handle” story that I literally heard in elementary school #Monsterdon

campfire story is better than the movie #monsterdon

Ah, back when “knowing computers” == “knowing magic”
#monsterdon

"Yeah we should get out of here before the Ingmar Bergman impersonators crash the party."

#monsterdon

AHAHAHAHA #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

"Metal shaped hook hand!"

… metal *shaped*.

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

#monsterdon "figure it out on the computer"

oh sure. chatgpt will have all of the answers

Are we just jerking between disconnected scenes of teens being teens? #Monsterdon

THEN WHO WAS PHONE?! #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

"Walks around the passenger's side of his best friend's ride..."

#monsterdon

“I’ll enter these symbols with his observations. Sure, it can be done.”

He sounds like he’s describing using ChatGPT.

#Monsterdon

Fancy symbols in a pre-unicode computer. Okay.

#Monsterdon

@paco I hope Cosby sued for IP infringement. #Monsterdon

(32 minutes in) I definitely gotta recut some of these beach scenes accompanied by Yakety Sax

#Monsterdon

oh! I remember this campfire crew from The Howling!

#monsterdon

“This is a job for weird Harold”, okay good the character was setup to have a job #monsterdon

"...and that's what's been happening."
#Monsterdon