@overholt Explöded diaper! All over the place! #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

I don't remember vampire books of the dead in any of my history classes.

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

Hey look everybody! Vampires?

#Monsterdon

It's like the movie doesn't know what to do with itself when the sun is up.

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

oh this isn't TGI Friday's

it's Charles Entertainment Cheese.

#monsterdon

“A military operation”

That’s why we listened to that entire song first

#Monsterdon

vampire book of the day #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

@wohali Maybe they wanted to make a porn and couldn’t afford the intimacy coordinator and actors willing to disrobe beyond bikinis? It’s so expensive and hard to make porn, as we all know

#monsterdon

"look at it as a military operation"

does that mean we get to nuke this movie from orbit?

#monsterdon

"Loaded with love".

Don't I wish...

#Thirst #NotForBlood #ImNotAVampire #Monsterdon

@wohali @Dianora It's true, it's rare our movies are this incompetent.

Weird, inexplicable, nonsensical, dull, but not this incompetent.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

#Monsterdon is now trending across Mastodon

#TongueTwisterFood is now trending across Mastodon

@jonny If they just finish it out with 2 more songs from Dollar Store Eddie Money (h/t @Louisa), I’ll be okay with it.

#Monsterdon

Loaded with something tonight, that's for sure

#Monsterdon

The murder investigation just stops for a dance party

#Monsterdon

And in the end, we were all loaded with love tonight. Thank you

#Monsterdon

@arrjay

In the 80s, they didn't have Youtube

So this movie was their equivalent of Rickrolling

#Monsterdon

@wohali @Dianora She'll be fine, you should see what she toots on the other hashtags #Monsterdon

I guess this *was* back when MTV still showed music videos. (was this their bid at getting extra air time there?)

#Monsterdon

[underwater applause] #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Is this ‘80s movie going to take decade to get to the point???? #Monsterdon

That's the end, right? Right?

Clearly it isn't.

#Monsterdon

@littlemiao Good thing too.

#Monsterdon

I can't figure out what this band's music even is. Like it's almost leaning away from rock into some kind of country or something.

Great instrumentals at least I guess.

#Monsterdon

Who glued the caterpillars to the drummer's head? #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

loaded with love tonight?

okay Dewey Lewis

#monsterdon

@wohali I was curious, I mean, how bad could it be/ I mean seriously I thought Bela Lugosi was dead.

#Monsterdon

i peed and moved the laundry to the drier... doesn't look like i missed a damn thing

#monsterdon

Half the audience is just vibing with the music and the other half are gnawing a limb off to escape this movie.
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon
Okay. I'm calling it. This movie is a new low. It's worse than the Bee Girls...

It had to happen eventually, I guess...

@Dianora At least the lighting is too dark to see most of the sets clearly? #Monsterdon

I'm starting to think that every indoor scene in this movie (except for the houses) has been filmed in this one warehouse that they're sitting in right now with the red tablecloths. That would track from the apparent budget of this movie.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon 🎵 "I'll put a smile on your face if it takes me all night." 🎶

Sounds like a fun date.

Has SBIG done this movie yet? I'd love to see their judgment on it #monsterdon

I'm told by @steggy that this is totally normal behavior that happens whenever women go shopping for bikinis.
#monsterdon

If I walked into a bar/club and this was playing I would leave as fast as I could. #monsterdon

That song may be the best thing about this movie

#Monsterdon

JUST NOTICED HIS MIC IS UNPLUGGED LMFAO #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

#Monsterdon 🧛 🧛‍♀️ 🧛‍♂️ 🏖️ 👙💪 🫣 😱

why do we have to hear this whole song

@apLundell

They'll be definitely beating *something*

(him like a stepchild)

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon *Teeth bared* Green lights all the way!

COME ON

NO REALLY, COME ON

HURRY UP

COME THE FUCK ON

#monsterdon

@jonny@neuromatch.social Lie back and think of England?

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Movie has time-traveled back to an earlier scene. We need to break the loop! How do we break the loop?! #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

What happened to the vampire who gave that horrible monologue earlier?

#Monsterdon

DANCE BREAK!!!

#Monsterdon

And back to this guy's bad.

I think this movie is 40% music video by volume.

Also, this guy needs to get some tips from Mili Vanili.

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

So what relation do you think this singer is to the producer and/or director of this movie?

#monsterdon

@saucerlost THAT'S it. I've been thinking wish dot com Journey but you've nailed it, it's wish dot com Foreigner.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

I don't understand how this film is edited.
#monsterdon

#monsterdon We're back here again…

Uh-oh. We’ve got a sincere 80s synth music ballad.

I can’t help but feel some terrible 80s band thought getting their music into this movie was going to be their big break.

#monsterdon #vampiresonbikinibeach

Has Weird Harold found the Weird Girlfriend of his burger loving heart? ❤️ #monsterdon

Clearly this is an important subplot. It even gives us an excuse to visit the bikini store in the bikini movie.

and a "Beach" scene. And I guess the mask guys were supposed to be Vampires so, all boxes checked. yay.

(why is this song break STILL going...?)

#monsterdon

so this is where you refill your drink, your bowl, whatever #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Off-brand Rush. Hurry. #Monsterdon

That is some bad lip synch from the lead singer there

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Oh, it's The Act again.

Don't worry man, once your band is in a movie, recording companies will beat a path to your door.

@Taweret At least 1 cow was murdered. #monsterdon

why is this on Tubi?

like, is Tubi okay?

#monsterdon

Somebody needs to tell this kid rock n roll is a vicious game

#Monsterdon

@moira Sounds like they're going to put her up on blocks #Monsterdon

Dollar Store Stand Bush? Didn't we already have enough music breaks to waste time?
#monsterdon

#monsterdon This movie has worse mood shifts than a gorilla who gets within 10 feet of a Target employee.

Their butts look like they do because Baby's Got Back wasn't released until 1992 and thus, as it says in the song, flat butts were the thing. #Monsterdon

Now we are revisiting the lamest club ever.

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

Now, back to The Bronze in Sunnydale.

#Monsterdon

@steggy

Evergreen #Monsterdon post.

I feel like the happy bikini shopping should have been at the start. I mean I wouldn't have in the film at all
#monsterdon

This movie deserves a raspberry award just for the shitty lip-syncing #monsterdon

Wow this really IS Great Value Stan Bush

#monsterdon

they started another song so i'm gonna take another quick break lol

#monsterdon

And now, from Andy's basement...this band! Tonight!

#monsterdon

GO AWAY HOUSE BAND #monsterdon

I thought to myself at the very beginning of this movie, "Harold is autistic-coded." I stand by it. He's the only good thing about this movie.

#Monsterdon

oh god, not another lyric song. we just faded out on one, dudes. how much did this guy's record company pay you?

#monsterdon

As a hetero I would just like to apologize to everyone everywhere for that last section of film, we're really sorry for that :/ #Monsterdon

#monsterdon "I'd better get you to the bikini shop!"

Seems like it must be some kind of insult.

What is going on?

#Monsterdon

This movie is so someone's relative can say he wrote music for an entire film so he could put it on his resume', isn't it?
#Monsterdon

Is this the music video interlude, movie? You know that without a good song it's just... oh, shit, I had to say something. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

i'm back and they're just... dancing on the beach i guess

#monsterdon

I tuned out for a couple of minutes and now I've completely lost the plot, are we watching a different movie now?
#Monsterdon

budweiser commercial? #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

This guy was totally double-dipping. He was waiting tables at the burger joint and getting paid to be an extra.
#monsterdon

Okay my prediction of this being a new worst movie for Monsterdon seem wrong. But it sure is slow and dull and confounding.
Did we just turn into a music video?
#monsterdon

Not so much "fanservice" as "are the straights OK"

#Monsterdon

MA'AM YOU CAN'T TRY ON BATHING SUITS WITHOUT YOUR UNDERWEAR

#Monsterdon

I guess they've got the "Bikini' part of the title covered

#Monsterdon

"Just dance around like we had decent music"

#Monsterdon

@Taweret Hard to tell, the acting's so stiff

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

what the fuck is happening

#monsterdon

🎶Yahweh ain’t my way…

Rawk awn!

#Monsterdon

Don't blame me, I voted for Critters 4!
#monsterdon

No breasts but double butts. You surprise me, movie. #Monsterdon

wow. #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

@littlemiao So much awful music to go around.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon It makes finding that third nipple on the girls kinda easy.

So is the guy with the Hunger a vamp or a hero? #Monsterdon

bottoms

#Monsterdon