#monsterdon It's hilarious that they felt this film needed narration.
Like there wasn't already enough scenes where everyone just sits around explaining the plot to each other.
Is it just me or is the Master Vampire just serving discount Ricardo Montalban?
Wait there were *things* to be different?
The ding dang voiceover again?!??
#Monsterdon
I see Beverly and Diana Troi have come up with another weird new exercise routine
#Monsterdon š§ š§āāļø š§āāļø šļø ššŖ š«£ š±
"Clarke and Wynette"???
@strangefour They were still working the kinks out #Monsterdon
I just want to take a moment to say that this is *still* cinema de arte compared to Dracula Prisoner of Frankenstein.
The entire budget went to that guy's mask.
Ok, the voiceover is now going into "haha, a bunch of people died. If only they had been more careful" areas.
@Anima :ms_eyes: #Monsterdon
Worst shibari ever. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini
Vampire dude has like twenty women to choose from but the one he wants is the girl who got away. No wonder after all these lives he still hasn't figured out that all he has to do to end his pain is go get a tan on the beach.
Oh, right. Narrator.
If they get defeated by these goofballs, they don't deserve to be reserected.
They Hunger... for this movie to end #monsterdon
This must be the vampire's den - all the lighting is red! AND THE NARRATOR STRIKES AGAIN.
@lorgonumputz No, Encino.
Hmm, needs more denim
Uh oh, guess it's time to conjure all manner of things then run around screaming, dying and trying to fix it. #Monsterdon
oh yeah
#monsterdon
Boss Vampire hasn't read the Evil Overlord List.
#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini
Worst. Haunted. House. EVER.
Yall right. This Buffy prequel is lame.
#monsterdon
Who needs a SkarsgƄrd amirite
i assume this is what the persona games are like #monsterdon
@RobynGoodfellow sounds accurate
Okay, queue up, everybody who paid extra for the deluxe bite on the left wall - oh, everybody? Thanks to you all, it's so impor
"Come to me, my beauties. I will give you the keeeeeeeeees to eternal luvvvv."
#Monsterdon
Given the whole army from hell thing, is this in a cave or some sort of underworld / afterlife?
Dude! The kiss of eternal love is on the āotherā lips. Just sayinā.
This Master Vampire looks like a cross between Vigo from Ghostbusters 2 and John Lovitz. #Monsterdon
Hmm. I'm gonna count that as a ā ritual #Monsterdon
The vampire sipping noises were a nice touch, but ewww.
I would spoof the vampire's lines, but I can't understand more than one word in five with the accent he's trying on.
somebody call Blade. Or Buffy. Or Van Helsing.
...to kill the producers of this, that is. #monsterdon
Me: I wonder what the vampires are up to
(see vampires)
Me: I wonder what, um, anyone not in the film is up to
#monsterdon
Peter Pan is all grown up and he still doesnāt know what a kiss is #Monsterdon
How many vampires we got in this cave? Can they accomplish something? Go outside and kill some of the main cast. Please.
#monsterdon
@trixter I'm sure this movie made this bands career skyrocket.
"I will give you the kiss.... of eternal love."
"See, you have to pucker up like this and push your neck out as far as you can, like a frog."
Okay, lolling at that vampire hiss š#Monsterdon
OK, I like this part. It doesn't make sense, but I dig the red lighting and weird fake accents.
#Monsterdon
WHAT THE HELL?
red lightbulb curtained room. makeup which looks like it was ironed on. Is THIS our vampire? Return to sender bad Listopher Cambert.
#Monsterdon
@davesdogmaggie death grips bu di di di di di di di bu du du di di di di di di intensifies #monsterdon
#monsterdon "But First, cahn you tell be vhat accent dis is?"
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which girl?
If everyone on the set would just clap, that would sound better than the stock applause sound effect that they keep using.
Then they could sell that recording to a stock sound effects company and make back the entire budget for this movie.
This music sequence is so long. #Monsterdon
Honestly, the vampire scenes are really not much of an improvement.
so wait, the guy with the temu halloween mask is the Demos who got his own screen in the credits?
#monsterdon
We're in the home stretch, folks. Last 20 minutes. Shit's gonna get weirder.
Don't bother showing the face of whomever is speaking to him. We don't need it.
#monsterdon I like the neon lighting on the edge of that staircase.
Just because you're in a cave or a catacomb or whatever doesn't mean you can't be fancy.
omg he looks like he really could be tommy's brother or something #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach
hi #monsterdon I would like to propose a contest where we all try to write a better beach horror movie script than this one and then vote on the best one.
tagging @patioboater as a likely participant.
I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIREā¦
There are vampires killing people and we'll take care of them right after our shitty band plays one more set. #Monsterdon
Are they watching this scene, or is this actually happening? #Monsterdon
Meanwhile, in a high school film class production of Masters of the Universe...
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nope, none of this was properly set up. not at all.
oh uhhh okay I guess we only had the one mic for this scene but decided not to do any cuts.
I swear I thought that lady was simply on fire
Oh. A vampire harem.
I bet the one who get the book had a mad scheme about making a movie about vampires, beach and bikinis
#monsterdon
I wish you would bring the passion of a decent microphone
@sean CLAP OFF #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach
Okay, Lazlo. #Monsterdon
Someone left the fish in the microwave too long again. *cough cough* #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach
Clap on!
A miserable pile of secrets! #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini
#Monsterdon
We're 100% behind you and Kim.
Way far behind you.
#Monsterdon
"We have to deal with the facts. We have no formal tactical training. We have no weapons. We're stupid. This is going to be a disaster."
Clap on! Clap off!
Acid washed jeans man is listening intently to feathered-hair man bloviating.
I'm not *much* into black magic, but this *is* the 80s, guys. Satanic panic, am I right? #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini
#monsterdon I'm not *much* into black magic. So, you are into a little bit of it?
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These are the best three minutes of the entire movie
The full power of the ooffmagaw
Producer: So, here's the deal. You deliver a movie about vampires with some t&a by monday morning
director: with what budget?
producer: I don't kill you, that's the budget
The clap sound on this digital drum set was much more realistic than whatever it is they used for the crowd clapping sound effect.
#monsterdon
@Louisa š
#Monsterdon
#monsterdon I'm definitely rooting for the vampires at this point.
If these were my conversations with friends Iād prefer being drained by vampires.
Vampire Hunter, MD #Monsterdon
#monsterdon "Go on. This is getting good."
It really isn't.
Jason Momoa does that clap better.
this is fangtastic
#monsterdon If you will, if you won't, if you'll just sit there and use more AQUA NET. AND FETCH MORE FRIKKEN COFFEE!!!
applause so weak for that band, it wouldn't wake a grumpy baby sleeping in the same room
#Monsterdon
If I ever reach a point at which every movie, or worse all reality, makes as little sense and has as low quality as this movie, I do believe that I will have to assume that my brain's gone so wrong that extreme measures may be required.
THEY PLAYED THE WHOLE SONG.
More than once. More than one song. How short is this movie if you take the music videos out?
#monsterdon
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'if you will'???