use your ultra flammable 80s nightwear to snuff out a mystical book fire. Great idea.
#Monsterdon

He smushed their heads together. Is that the same as biting them?
#Monsterdon

"We don't usually get weirdos like that around here. Law enfrocement is pretty good about hearding them away for the real touristy beaches and into Inglewood." #monsterdon

Lamest fight scene ever. Was he stabbing the chick or the dude?

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

@moira Too many unanswered questions!

#monsterdon

Oh no! He's been gently caressed to death after obviously not stabbing a guy!

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

No sell. Come on, buddy, the audience is watching us! #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

Dude is very stabby.

#Monsterdon

That's not a knife. This is the biggest effing flick knife in the world

#Monsterdon

is he stabbing him? I cant tell

#monsterdon

What kind of knife was that? #monsterdon

wow okay they muted... bitch and fuck?

Is this _actually_ TV-MA? Was there _actually_ a porn cut?

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

random hostile couple with a knife so we can see them die i guess?

#monsterdon

Wait, is this a censored for TV edit?

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou If it's Nebraska, that'd be corn studio. #Monsterdon

PLEASE, SOMEONE, BITE SOMEONE! PLEASE!
#Monsterdon

lol, where did that book come from?

#Monsterdon

Yeah, listen to DJ Tanner, Bob! #Monsterdon

Oh look, the vampire dropped his vampire book.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Please tell me more of your bands creative process Bob

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

That sex scene made me long for The Hunger.. just a little more artistic than this film.

"You disappeared last night."
"Lets just say we... disappeared."

That's quality dialog

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Only an hour left to go ............

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

Wait, was there technically no nudity in that sex scene?
#monsterdon

the ladies at the table rate your sex scene a 6 out of 10.

#monsterdon

I've always wanted to make love in a Heart music video

#Monsterdon

As we "enjoy" this movie, I just want you to keep in mind that we *could* have been watching a 40 foot alligator terrorizing Chicago.

But Oh noooooo.

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

are they applauding the sex scene??

#monsterdon

I HATE THIS MUSIC
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 🧛‍♀️ 🧛‍♂️ 🏖️ 👙💪 🫣 😱

"why, why, why?"🎶 🎶 <-- I do not know. Ick.

I really thought I was gonna hate this movie, but it’s amazing.

🎶
“Why why why I ain’ got you”

#Monsterdon

Oh no. A sex scene.
#monsterdon

Meanwhile, in another movie...

#Monsterdon

80s softcore montage, with applause!

#Monsterdon

oh no

#monsterdon

@flowerpot Not really. She wasn’t the one 😄#Monsterdon

Musician with photographer a a side hustle seems like his place should be a whole lot smaller and filled with scavenged furniture. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

OMG IT'S A JRESS #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

#Monsterdon 🧛 🧛‍♀️ 🧛‍♂️ 🏖️ 👙💪 🫣 😱

so much feathering

"Let my lips touch yours..." goes directly for her neck. #Monsterdon Dude, you're a liar, that's why she doesn't want you.

They could have showed that guy taking a dump for all I care about his back story. #monsterdon

Ok, wait, are they going into some kind of country music now??

EDIT: I don't even know what the heck this is that's playing now, lol.

#Monsterdon

@xerozohar "This... Is wrong film." #Monsterdon

Oh fuck I hope this comes with a soundtrack album...

#Monsterdon

"...what's a girl like you doing on a beach like this"

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

This scene really moves the story along.

#Monsterdon

"I love the beach this time of day."

Like.. late evening?

#Monsterdon

"I love the beach this time of day... it's so beautiful during day-for-night"

#monsterdon

Me in my mind's eye beating the crap out of everyone involved in this movie. #monsterdon

is it too much to ask that Jaws will come up on this beach and eat them all?

#monsterdon

we couldn't afford backgrounds, so the vampires literally converse in the Red Mist Realm.

#monsterdon

I wuz bahrn HAN-drids of yares ago! Thankyouverymuch

#Monsterdon

Well, the haunted circus music is fun.

#Monsterdon

Come here my love.... OH HAI MARK! LET'S THROW AROUND THE FOOTBALL

#monsterdon

"LINE!"

#Monsterdon

so all this vampire wants is for a hot girl to kill him?

#monsterdon

Does he do this same speech every time his procurer brings him dinner? Does the procurer/butler ever get tired of it? #Monsterdon

Discount Christopher Lambert #monsterdon

STEEEEMPY I HAVE THE SPACE MADNESS #monsterdon

"I have but one path to travel if I am to know eternal rest... I-95"

#Monsterdon

LISA YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Harold... My God... #Monsterdon

@YsengrinWolf

"And can I have a Sex on Vampire Bikini Beach?"

#Monsterdon

"I was destined to speak with a lousy accent for eternity"
#monsterdon

KARL THE FOG

KARL THE FOG IS ANGRY

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

Could I have a "Screaming Orgasm".. not from the scenes in this movie, that's for sure..

So do we think this is a movie that ended up such a mess they added a voiceover afterwards to try and fix it?

#Monsterdon

oh wow i didn't think we'd get worse actors but now we've met the vampire and here we go

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

#monsterdon A screaming orgasm, the only time you'll have anything like that in your life, so enjoy it baby-cakes.

Oh Lord, mixing mythologies there, Mr. Dracula.

#Monsterdon

I don't want to stereotype or jump to false conclusions, but in the '80s the Southern California 'Armenian Mafia' owned a fair number of clubs and had a lot of money to launder and film productions have been used for that….

#monsterdon
#VampiresOnBikiniBeach

@jivens #monsterdon I reckon it’s more like “To Live and Undie in L.A.” in this case.

#VampiresOnBikiniBeach

I hate the whole narration bit, where she’s telling the story from the hospital. I think if they removed that, the whole film could still work. It’d still be bad, but it’d be less bad.

#Monsterdon

"Boy oh boy!" A totally normal line for a young adult in the late 80s.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

The free space on Monsterdon Bingo should be sexy corpses, I expect.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

I think this dialog was actually recorded in an empty cargo container

#Monsterdon 🧛 🧛‍♀️ 🧛‍♂️ 🏖️ 👙💪 🫣 😱

"Wouldn't you like to see a murder victim's body"

lol, no

#Monsterdon

Yeah, you suck, Harold! #monsterdon

I love the sporadic narrator. Feels like I'm watching Freddy vs Jason

#Monsterdon

🎵 "suckeeeeer (ᶠ​ᵒ​ʳ​ ​ʷ​ᵃ​ᵗ​ᶜ​ʰ​ᶦ​ⁿ​ᵍ​ ​ᵗ​ʰ​ᶦ​ˢ​)" 🎶 #monsterdon

Our 19yo son is watching this with us and we had to admit that, yes, this is what the 1980s looked like.
#monsterdon

He wanted the band to play Freebird. #monsterdon

You know these actors are terrible because they're clapping for that performance.
#Monsterdon

Bold of the movie to try to label different characters as different personalities like "the weird guy" or "the girl all the guys want", when they're all blandly friendly with each other and the same age and social class and conventional attractiveness

#Monsterdon

SHOW DON’T TELL!!!

#Monsterdon

Was that rain water or clapping?
#monsterdon

The 1980s weren't this boring I promise #Monsterdon

At least the movie isn't trying to make me hate anyone.

#Monsterdon

I'll accept that as an attempt at thematically appropriate music.

#Monsterdon

This song may be lost to time as Shazam was unable to find a match. Perhaps we should be grateful #Monsterdon

Oh g-d the voiceovers alone are gonna kill me.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon The tank top on the keyboardist is just an excuse to grin around the “No Shirts, No Shoes, No Service" rule.

this band scene is a class in how to not make cuts on your flix.
btw, was the cameramen drunk?
#monsterdon

Is this a musical? Because it's not very good

#monsterdon

... is his song, sucka stay away from me? wow. i, uh... wow.

#monsterdon

Oh the song is vampire related....yet Buffy this is not.

#Monsterdon

Original music but badly edited--sign of a truly good movie #monsterdon

What is this thing on her face? Glasses? A Visor? A "Glisor"?
#monsterdon

I remember these guys making noise during my old yearbook photo

#Monsterdon

They can't assign a death to vampires well before the first vampire appears! That's against vampire movie law!

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini