@Lazarou Tommy filmed on like 3 different state-of-the-art formats. this is more like rollergator vibes #monsterdon

And then they all drowned and the vampires lived happily ever after. #Monsterdon

I just can't find anybody with that sort of hair titillating, I'm sorry....

#MOnsterdon

The dialog sounds very much like listening to a bad commercial? I think stilted is the right word?

#Monsterdon

Bikini spotted! #monsterdon

IF they try to drain this girl, they're gonna have to go back for seconds. My God, she's so slim. #Monsterdon

Hi Bob #monsterdon

"Nice car!"
"Thanks!"

#Monsterdon

I recognize this technique of film first and add dialogue later! That was the Dracula in some European backwater movie! #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

Did she say "we certainly didn't mean for this to happen" in her own inner thoughts? Lol

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon This has significant “Jim never vomits at home" energy.

@combatwombat i very quickly decided that the squished aspect ratio isn't going to make much of a difference in this movie experience

#monsterdon

Just like there's a "John Carpenter font," now there will always be a "Vampires on Bikini Beach font" in my heart #Monsterdon

Oh my god I'm having PTSD because all of the cool girls in high school had that exact VW. I never got a ride in it.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Judging by the MOON we might need silver bullets after all..

@overholt Cold open -> title card -> short sequence -> opening credits, this is absolute filmmaking BRAVERY right here. #Monsterdon

THE EIGHTIES FASHIONS!!!

#Monsterdon

we've all been fooled, this is a 1h20m credit roll.

#monsterdon

These credits are the shit!

#Monsterdon

Just checking, this isn't a prank, right? Like most of you aren't watching "the real movie" somewhere else?

#Monsterdon

@Taweret Pardon me, it's called Dollar General 80's music. #monsterdon 🧛🏾

this is about the moon hitting the earth??

#monsterdon

OBJECTION this is neither rock NOR music

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

Un-original musical score by Steve Redundantly

#monsterdon

@xerozohar Indigestion'll do that #Monsterdon

Look I'm usually against taking stage names, but Falo there probably nedes one.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

To Live and Die in LA..

This is just the music video for Sunglasses at NIght.

#Monsterdon

Loving the soundtrack already. I listen to stuff like this when I drive long distances at night. #monsterdon

this is some generic 80s music

#monsterdon

They're doing something weird with the L/R audio channels - it feels lopsided
#monsterdon

OBJECTION no one is starring in this etc

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

That's the biggest blurriest moon I've seen in a while.

#Monsterdon

A Volkswagen cabriolet the ultimate beach car
#monsterdon

Every shot without dialogue was considered for time lapse

#Monsterdon

[Screams in terror at huge moon] #monsterdon

OMG, they're really doubling down with this 80s synthwave soundtrack. The soundtrack alone may make the movie worth watching!

#Monsterdon

Wow. Shittiest. Beach. Ever. #monsterdon

"Starring in alphabetical order" seems like a GREAT sign #Monsterdon

Opening scene of this #Monsterdon appears to be "night scene shot at daytime with filter" we're off to a GREAT START :ablobwobble:

The titling and heavy use of B-roll promises a stinker.

Wreck levels are holding.

#Monsterdon

@arrjay Probably be sick of it by the end of the film though

#monsterdon

I didn’t expect this much synth so early in a late 80s beach movie. I expected beach montages.

#Monsterdon

"Hi honey, I'm home! I found a coffin somebody had left!"

#MOnsterdon

@CaptManiac "it was a dark and under-exposed afternoon"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon it was a dark but not stormy evening.

My expectations have never been lower than for a movie called Vampires on Bikini Beach. #MONSTERDON

"There are no such creatures as vampires" Credits #Monsterdon

No vampires to see here, just people walking with coffins on their back on a fake night shot
#monsterdon

The 1st shot is unexpectedly Koyaanisqatsi-ish.

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

@moira

They were in Fright Night 1 & 2

EDIT: I think... seen too many such movies lately

#Monsterdon

“Put that garlic back in your spaghetti sauce!” #Monsterdon

#monsterdon If I'm ever murdered I want it to be a mysterious murder. I don't want people to be like "Oh yeah? Well can't say I'm surprised."

I will not leave my garlic at home smug newscaster!
#Monsterdon

News: some teenagers were murdered.
People: Yup. Vampires
#Monsterdon

wait why would you put the stake back in the tomato plant but... put the garlic back in your pasta sauce???!??! one of these is wrong

#monsterdon

Time for #Monsterdon!

Oh, they think they can slip in their first monster kill in voice over backstory? Nope. It doesn't count, movie. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

JAY STEPHENS!

#MOnsterdon

When the lion roars, you know that means it’s time! #Monsterdon

Venice Beach.

Go go go!

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

WE GOT ZERO MARK ZERO ZERO ZERO CAREER-O SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGN!!!

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

@diazona i'm thinking about how ironically one fun thing about bad movies is that they're often much harder to predict than a movie like this

#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

young riff raff
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

young garak
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

are we sure they're not talking about Tommy Wiseau
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

i just don't know how these people can say 'pumpkinhead' with a straight face
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

punky's gone bad 🚬​
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

I need a whole new damn trek series just based around Garak.

#monsterdon #doublefeature #pumpkinhead2

Filmed in three weeks for less than $1M.

#monsterdon #doublefeature #pumpkinhead2

just stand there and scream. don't run away or anything
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

lmao i can respect some of the artistry here
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

Pumpkinhead musical number!
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

I am shocked that Pumpkinhead has more tits than the bad vampire beach movie did.
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

that was genuinely upsetting
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

oh look fig bake titties

#monsterdon #doublefeature #pumpkinhead2

AUUUUGGGHHH
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

Elaborating on my own #Monsterdon tastes:

For me personally, The Raven was less enjoyable than, e.g., Krull because even though it had stronger actors, you'd have to toss everything except the premise and maybe 2 scenes to have a decent script. The further down the list, the more the movies become slogs and/or incoherent.

You've got your occasional "classic for a reason". Maybe it has outdated effects or gender politics, or it can't feel wholly fresh because it established the conventions that everyone else followed, but it'd still be a high point of a film-studies course's required viewing. Then you have movies which are a rollicking good time, because they are passion projects that commit to the bit or they win chaos points with pure gonzo energy. Next you start to see missed opportunities, or a lower budget making its bite felt.

(also just because he's a good actor and i wanted to appreciate the delivery)

#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

oh look. it's a creature that doesn't have a pumpkin for a head. again
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

closing my eyes for the pumpkinhead poem so i can imagine it's garak saying a creepy rhyme

#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

that was the scene that got him the Garak role
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

I was very far from getting bingo today and I think this is emblematic of how much happened in that movie

#Monsterdon

@diazona we demand an anatomically correct Pumpkinhead.
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

so is the judge one of the murderers from the beginning

#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

#Monsterdon 🧛 🧛‍♀️ 🧛‍♂️ 🏖️ 👙💪 🫣 😱

thank you #Monsterdonians, you made me laugh so hard I lost my breath on several occasions.

Thanks @Taweret for hosting, @cherizilla for the haunted Bingo, @JoeWynne ' spirit, and everyone for making it fun!

dang what the hell is this monster

#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

If you screw up again, I can't cover for you.

...

I don't need you to cover for me, I can take care of myself.

Literally... that's not how it works... If you could take care of yourself they wouldn't have had to cover for you the first time... (Suggestion, not murdering old ladies and summoning murder-monsters is probably a good step towards taking care of yourself.)

#Monsterdon

@paco I wonder if I can get a price guarantee on that pizza. That's pretty amazing. #Monsterdon

@lytta his strength as an eyebrow actor definitely got him the Garak role
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

i'm really just imagining all the sheriff's lines being said by garak

#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

@LingLass

"Music by Alan Smithee"

#Monsterdon

he has a car washing schedule. today is front right panel
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

Huh. No music credits listed on IMDB. #Monsterdon

Annnndddd... he actually just got his refund...

#Monsterdon

"I'm afraid I don't follow you" GARAK LINE
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

it actually takes so much more energy to watch a coherent movie lmao. this is why #monsterdon is most of the movies i watch

So Pumpkinhead rules are different this time? Weirder longer set up this time.
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

JAKE SISKO!?

lol jk jk again
#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2

hey witch lady some of them were being nice idk why you need to punish anyone but that one asshole

#monsterdon #pumpkinhead2