random hostile couple with a knife so we can see them die i guess?

#monsterdon

@Lazarou If it's Nebraska, that'd be corn studio. #Monsterdon

PLEASE, SOMEONE, BITE SOMEONE! PLEASE!
#Monsterdon

Yeah, listen to DJ Tanner, Bob! #Monsterdon

Oh look, the vampire dropped his vampire book.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

Please tell me more of your bands creative process Bob

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

That sex scene made me long for The Hunger.. just a little more artistic than this film.

Only an hour left to go ............

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

Wait, was there technically no nudity in that sex scene?
#monsterdon

the ladies at the table rate your sex scene a 6 out of 10.

#monsterdon

I've always wanted to make love in a Heart music video

#Monsterdon

As we "enjoy" this movie, I just want you to keep in mind that we *could* have been watching a 40 foot alligator terrorizing Chicago.

But Oh noooooo.

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

are they applauding the sex scene??

#monsterdon

I HATE THIS MUSIC
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 🧛‍♀️ 🧛‍♂️ 🏖️ 👙💪 🫣 😱

"why, why, why?"🎶 🎶 <-- I do not know. Ick.

I really thought I was gonna hate this movie, but it’s amazing.

🎶
“Why why why I ain’ got you”

#Monsterdon

Oh no. A sex scene.
#monsterdon

Meanwhile, in another movie...

#Monsterdon

80s softcore montage, with applause!

#Monsterdon

oh no

#monsterdon

@flowerpot Not really. She wasn’t the one 😄#Monsterdon

Musician with photographer a a side hustle seems like his place should be a whole lot smaller and filled with scavenged furniture. #Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach #VampiBeachieBikini

OMG IT'S A JRESS #monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

#Monsterdon 🧛 🧛‍♀️ 🧛‍♂️ 🏖️ 👙💪 🫣 😱

so much feathering

"Let my lips touch yours..." goes directly for her neck. #Monsterdon Dude, you're a liar, that's why she doesn't want you.

Ok, wait, are they going into some kind of country music now??

EDIT: I don't even know what the heck this is that's playing now, lol.

#Monsterdon

@xerozohar "This... Is wrong film." #Monsterdon

Oh fuck I hope this comes with a soundtrack album...

#Monsterdon

"...what's a girl like you doing on a beach like this"

#Monsterdon #VampireOnBikiniBeach

This scene really moves the story along.

#Monsterdon

"I love the beach this time of day."

Like.. late evening?

#Monsterdon

"I love the beach this time of day... it's so beautiful during day-for-night"

#monsterdon

Me in my mind's eye beating the crap out of everyone involved in this movie. #monsterdon

is it too much to ask that Jaws will come up on this beach and eat them all?

#monsterdon

we couldn't afford backgrounds, so the vampires literally converse in the Red Mist Realm.

#monsterdon

I wuz bahrn HAN-drids of yares ago! Thankyouverymuch

#Monsterdon

Well, the haunted circus music is fun.

#Monsterdon

Come here my love.... OH HAI MARK! LET'S THROW AROUND THE FOOTBALL

#monsterdon

"LINE!"

#Monsterdon

so all this vampire wants is for a hot girl to kill him?

#monsterdon

Does he do this same speech every time his procurer brings him dinner? Does the procurer/butler ever get tired of it? #Monsterdon

Discount Christopher Lambert #monsterdon

STEEEEMPY I HAVE THE SPACE MADNESS #monsterdon

Harold... My God... #Monsterdon

@YsengrinWolf

"And can I have a Sex on Vampire Bikini Beach?"

#Monsterdon

"I was destined to speak with a lousy accent for eternity"
#monsterdon

KARL THE FOG

KARL THE FOG IS ANGRY

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

Could I have a "Screaming Orgasm".. not from the scenes in this movie, that's for sure..

So do we think this is a movie that ended up such a mess they added a voiceover afterwards to try and fix it?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon A screaming orgasm, the only time you'll have anything like that in your life, so enjoy it baby-cakes.

Oh Lord, mixing mythologies there, Mr. Dracula.

#Monsterdon

I don't want to stereotype or jump to false conclusions, but in the '80s the Southern California 'Armenian Mafia' owned a fair number of clubs and had a lot of money to launder and film productions have been used for that….

#monsterdon
#VampiresOnBikiniBeach

@jivens #monsterdon I reckon it’s more like “To Live and Undie in L.A.” in this case.

#VampiresOnBikiniBeach

I hate the whole narration bit, where she’s telling the story from the hospital. I think if they removed that, the whole film could still work. It’d still be bad, but it’d be less bad.

#Monsterdon

"Boy oh boy!" A totally normal line for a young adult in the late 80s.

#monsterdon #vampireonbikinibeach

The free space on Monsterdon Bingo should be sexy corpses, I expect.

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

I think this dialog was actually recorded in an empty cargo container

#Monsterdon 🧛 🧛‍♀️ 🧛‍♂️ 🏖️ 👙💪 🫣 😱

"Wouldn't you like to see a murder victim's body"

lol, no

#Monsterdon

Yeah, you suck, Harold! #monsterdon

I love the sporadic narrator. Feels like I'm watching Freddy vs Jason

#Monsterdon

🎵 "suckeeeeer (ᶠ​ᵒ​ʳ​ ​ʷ​ᵃ​ᵗ​ᶜ​ʰ​ᶦ​ⁿ​ᵍ​ ​ᵗ​ʰ​ᶦ​ˢ​)" 🎶 #monsterdon

Our 19yo son is watching this with us and we had to admit that, yes, this is what the 1980s looked like.
#monsterdon

He wanted the band to play Freebird. #monsterdon

Bold of the movie to try to label different characters as different personalities like "the weird guy" or "the girl all the guys want", when they're all blandly friendly with each other and the same age and social class and conventional attractiveness

#Monsterdon

SHOW DON’T TELL!!!

#Monsterdon

Was that rain water or clapping?
#monsterdon

The 1980s weren't this boring I promise #Monsterdon

At least the movie isn't trying to make me hate anyone.

#Monsterdon

I'll accept that as an attempt at thematically appropriate music.

#Monsterdon

Oh g-d the voiceovers alone are gonna kill me.

#Monsterdon

This song may be lost to time as Shazam was unable to find a match. Perhaps we should be grateful #Monsterdon

#monsterdon The tank top on the keyboardist is just an excuse to grin around the “No Shirts, No Shoes, No Service" rule.

this band scene is a class in how to not make cuts on your flix.
btw, was the cameramen drunk?
#monsterdon

Is this a musical? Because it's not very good

#monsterdon

Oh the song is vampire related....yet Buffy this is not.

#Monsterdon

lol, white people dancing without drugs...

#MOnsterdon

They can't assign a death to vampires well before the first vampire appears! That's against vampire movie law!

#monsterdon #VampiBeachieBikini

80s singers all had that signature “I gotta pee” move.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon They are performing their act from the inside of that red and blue smoosh color pop cup they used to have in the late 80’s….

Producer's buddy's band spotted!

#Monsterdon

this week's #monsterdon looks exceptional

ah, white people dancing, the real horror.

#monsterdon

oh no a band

#monsterdon

this is more 80s than all the 80s movies we just watched put together

#monsterdon

@bunnyhero #monsterdon
I’m almost certain you won’t.
Or at least won’t care.

What the fuck is a "Vampire-like wound"? What a weird way to say it.

Classic Harold!

#Monsterdon #VampiresOnBikiniBeach

we're watching a movie
of people *reading* about vampire attacks.

#monsterdon

I had a micromachine car like that around about then. You could open the boot and bonnet on it, and the doors.
#Monsterdon

These surfers (wind and other) are probably not going to be eaten by any octopi or sharks.

#Monsterdon

Don't worry we can fix everything with a little ADR

#Monsterdon

“I could make stopping a career in this car!”

Was this supposed to be a double entendre? They tried for one too many entendres.

#Monsterdon

Well, the Bikini Beach portion of the title is no lie.

#Monsterdon

On the beach, the girl and boy do a splash and then kiss in front of a blue screen.

#monsterdon

@Lazarou Bob can't drown, at least ... give it a minute #Monsterdon

@Lazarou Or... the final vampire? #monsterdon #plottwist

She is going to narrate this whole movie. We are SO lucky!

#Monsterdon

10000 words per minute and all of them rubbish.
#Monsterdon

i hope i don't have to remember who any of these people are

#monsterdon

Impeccable audio engineering
#monsterdon

This #Monsterdon looks like what VHS porn producers do to kill time between their regular projects