I never thought the caged tiger would eat *my* face. #monsterdon

The music fits the quality of this production

#monsterdon

"Would you like to see inside the mirror?"

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

Honestly, if children keep poking around in other people's space maybe they deserve to be eaten?

#Monsterdon

This Helga person seems familiar. I didn't catch the names of anyone in the show though. (Assuming I'd even recognize names if I saw them which I usually don't.)

EDIT: Ah, so it is Romana. I didn't trust myself.

#Monsterdon

Helga is kinky as fuck and this excites Anton....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon The animals have all been dosed with Valium. Vampire Mommies Little Helper.

Laila Ward isn't the only name I recognize in the cast. The strong man would go on to star in a famous space opera trilogy though we never heard his voice. He even has a certain Sith-like demeanor in this movie. #VampireCircus #Monsterdon

Today I learned that forests in England are choked with ferns just like the British Canadian ones that Stargate always filmed in? Apparently?? #monsterdon

#monsterdon I wonder what the plaster toothed papier mâché cat muppet is up to right now

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus Dora the explorer has returned!

in my headcanon the strong man is the guy banging the gong for the rank organisation

#monsterdon

#monsterdon What's the average land speed of an African Swallow? Should I fake my orgasms? Why did the chicken cross the road!?!?

@YsengrinWolf Despite the town name I don't think there are any actual Jews. I have been wondering about the subtext though.

#Monsterdon

Dora? Of course she's not here. She's out exploring... her sexuality and gender expression!
#monsterdon

As she lies among the dead in the forest she curses ever coming on this holiday....

#Monsterdon

Burger meister is a delightfully dim buffoon. Will he catch on to any of the horror before he dies?
#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

Again, what's with the RoF with these gunshots? Are the men enforcing the roadblock armed with bolt-action rifles? Is it actually 1910?

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

Just buy one gunshot sound effect, the stuffed panther cost more than we thought

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon There's Jawas in those ferns!

@YsengrinWolf asking the really important questions here. #monsterdon

#monsterdon The roadblock was staffed by early Imperial Stormtroopers.

#monsterdon BRING OUT YER DEAD!

Needs more Cat Girl....

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 🎪 😱

I think the special effects for the cat attack was just some guy throwing meat

Worst Caturday ever!

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

*Yells* "WE HAVE PASSED THE ROADBLOCK!"

I mean, what could go wrong being really loud as you try to break a quarantine where they shoot anyone trying to get out?

#Monsterdon

Somehow we're on an alien planet from Stargate SG-1 suddenly? #monsterdon

so these people, who lived here all their lives, couldn't find their way through the forest on their own?

#monsterdon

@jsadow lol, extra points for bringing Slavoj Zizek into #Monsterdon

if you've enjoyed fourthmeal, you may enjoy

FOURTHMIRROR

#monsterdon

@Wynter There's a joke about big cats eating faces somewhere in here... I think?

#Monsterdon

oh no, not the bürgermeister of Shtetl!

#Monsterdon

Just occurs to me the giant is David Prowse and once again you will not hear his STRONG West Country accent...

#Monsterdon

I think the Safety Dance video was loosely based on this movie.

#Monsterdon

Oh, it's the mirror of homoerotic doom #Monsterdon

#monsterdon We're gonna need a distemper shot for Emil.

More like… Cirque Du Sanguine, amirite?

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 🎪 😱

The Burgermeister looks like Captain Kangaroo

Ed Wood's Flying Circus

#Monsterdon

The necklace is pure 1970s glam rock

#monsterdon

I'm more than a little creeped out

#monsterdon

And in three days, Jesus arises with the bats from the bat cave!

#monsterdon

@paco Zalman King's Vampire Circus #monsterdon

#monsterdon Id I'd known there were gonna be naked lizard women, I'd have made more of an effort to watch this one.

This is the breast...I mean best... #Monsterdon EVAR

This director clearly wanted to make a porn film on a budget.
#monsterdon

The choker gives emil a twink vibe...

#Monsterdon

Okay, so this is Emil. He's the cousin of the other vampire. He's going to be important

#monsterdon

Am I imagining things or does the circus ringmaster have a very obvious band-aid on her left hand?

#monsterdon

Man that music is off key...

#Monsterdon

Yeah so, if you could NOT peel off your own face... that'd be great.

We've gotten complaints is all I'm saying.

#monsterdon

Accusing Romani of stealing children? Oh boy....

#Monsterdon

...

The big finale was him ripping off a layer of makeup? Really? That's it? Am I missing something?

#Monsterdon

"you ever seen a man tear off his own face?"

#Monsterdon

Yeah. Sure. A bunch of superstitious village people living in the middle of nowhere who believe in vampires would totally not have a problem with a werebeast.

#Monsterdon

wait we got CAT PEOPLE?

are they gonna put out fire with gasoline?

#monsterdon

behind this mask is.... the exact same thing!!! SHOCKING!

#monsterdon

Producer: “Can we get full frontal nudity in here somewhere? People don’t pay to see our shit for the story!” #monsterdon #vampirecircus

aaand the panther eats them all! #yay
#monsterdon

Where are the vampires? I was promised a circus of vampires.

#Monsterdon

@saucerlost 😆
#Monsterdon

This is straying into Orgy Of The Dead territory

#monsterdon

This doesn't seem very appropriate for children. Zalman King's Vampire Circus. #monsterdon

Is that the dreidel song?

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

#monsterdon Hey kid, you missed a naked lady pretending to be a tiger.

Wait. The #VampireCircus is a sex show? #Monsterdon

That chimp ain't laughing, he's upset....

#Monsterdon

Is it sex?

Is it interpretive dance?

Yes!

#Monsterdon

As it's otherwise known, another episode of the writer/directors thinly disguised fetishes

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

I'm pretty sure boobies were required in all 1970s movies. They had to compete with Deep Throat. #monsterdon

Do boobs count if they are covered in body paint?

#monsterdon

Have they got a lady MC, because that's pretty progressive......wow, naked painted lady!

Her bald head looks like a watermelon, brilliant!

#Monsterdon

Clearly full-monty

#monsterdon

Ladies and gentlemen, Citizens of shithole. I commend to you...

#monsterdon

It's hilarious - they're jumping around while short.

#monsterdon

This circus is like a free guest amenity at a Motel 6. #monsterdon

@Lazarou #monsterdon

The rest of the circus is emptying anything of value from their houses.

"Gypsy Woman" is going to be called that for the whole movie. She doesn't have a name.

#monsterdon

@_L1vY_ deep discount circus #monsterdon

This claim makes Doctor Mustache mad, because he doesn't believe in vampires, and he instead blames the villagers for abandoning the Boob Fortress and/or not burning it down hard enough, thus letting disease fester there.

Then this argument is disrupted when a circus arrives in town, led by a small person in clown makeup and including a strongman, some wagons, a panther, a Roma girl that the boys holler at, and some geese (I think).

#monsterdon

oh man, that's the worst case of sharpie I've ever seen

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

#monsterdon The Puma has a dudebro existence hiccup.

#monsterdon That kid must have been SUPER drunk if he couldn't tell the difference between a lounging dude and a panther.

lol, this is going to be very 'Papa Lazarou' League Of Gentleman vibe, isn't it?

I can sense these things......

#Monsterdon

KITTY!

(were-panther?)

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

#Monsterdon

Hm. Darth Vader is in this.

Ok I admit it; I don't know anything, but if I could just get past the roadblocks I'd know for sure. Yeah, that's it.

#Monsterdon
#VampireCircus

All you need to do is drink your own urine, gents. I read that on the new CDC website. #monsterdon

"They're frightened of catching the illness." god i wish that was us

#Monsterdon

this town is not down with the sickness

#monsterdon

Ooh, the bat out of the skull eye is a nice touch! #Monsterdon

So is it a curse or a disease? Because those are two very different kinds of vampirism

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

Bat crawling out of a skull? 💯

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

I’m guessing the little girl was playing the role that would go into be played by Kirsten Dunst in Interview With A Vampire. All cuz they didn’t stake her. #monsterdon #vampirecircus

Dave Prowse! OMG Darth Vader is in this movie!!!

#Monsterdon

The nice thing about this movie so far is that every 10 minutes you could call it the end, and leave the theater.

#monsterdon

The Count looked like an evil Noel Fielding

You may get that reference...

#Monsterdon

Wait, that entire 20 minute sequence was pre-title card? HOW LONG IS THIS MOVIE!?!?!

#Monsterdon

Credits being haunted by a pissed-off Vulcan. #Monsterdon