@ohiofi T-pose is next #monsterdon

Ok, what the hell just happened with the crossbow? #Monsterdon

I am count Slowalkula

#monsterdon

...and there's a disembodied head

Why not

#Monsterdon

surprise decapitation

#Monsterdon

You can't just put a cross on your crossbow, that's silly

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

... i mean i GUESS 'cross' is in the word 'crossbow' but it was otherwise kind of a weak cross tbh

#monsterdon

Wait. Did he just slice off his head with the crossbow?

#Monsterdon

bruh just make a cross shape with your fingers these vamps ain't shit
#monsterdon

@amyfou "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. And up underneath the rib cage."

You have to angle upwards, if you go straight through the ribs you usually get stuck on one.

#Monsterdon

lol, decapitation and still looks goofy...

#Monsterdon

wait, so any cross shape works? Like if you have a grid, does the crosses in the grid work against a vampire?

#monsterdon

that actually was a pretty cool way to kill a vampire

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The only way to kill a vampire is a wooden stake through the liver.

Oo, count's got a new bellybutton #Monsterdon

that's a good body count there....

#Monsterdon

Any good screenwriting book will tell you a five car pile-up of climaxes is better than one elegant one. #monsterdon

I think Emil put up a very good fight there...

#Monsterdon

Anton like Ooooh that smarts #Monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai #monsterdon

I think Dracula, or Count Miltonhousen or whoever he is, used his vampire powers to heat it up.

#monsterdon At least we have proper fangs now, with Emil... Finally, they got it right, in the end.

The burgermeister has a distinct Wizard-of-Oz look.

#monsterdon

oh no, not the little clown guy!

#monsterdon

That's right, follow the sounds of orgasm to find the secret crypt entrance ...

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

Pizza face!

#monsterdon

@moira #monsterdon

....unless you drank enough beer, lel.

You named your daughter "Daughter"?

#Monsterdon

Damn, they blew a big divot out of Vader. #Monsterdon

"Human beings, drained to feed the vampires!"

Well yeah. They're VAMPIRES.

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

This is what happens when a carnival stays in a town too long.

#Monsterdon

Fuck the town of Stetl though....

#Monsterdon

And this is why if you're a vampire, having a few trustworthy humans on staff is useful.

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

#Monsterdon lol this time the human lady takes the cross off first lolol

Crosses don't work on Sith Lords. #Monsterdon

we started with a mob on the hunt, we'll end with a mob on the hunt.

#monsterdon

Hahahahahaha. Ok that ruled. Death by cartoonishly loose crucifix. #monsterdon

@jeffron @Terencio She took Improvised Weapons mastery as a skill

#Monsterdon

@allanb all died off camera, we only heard their screams #Monsterdon

@yatsu Apparently a human needs to be in contact with a cross or something?

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

The announcer rips the cross off of Dora, making her safe to eat and then they chase her through... um... a church? Which I would think would have crosses everywhere? But I guess it doesn't, because... um... it's a Cross Free Church?

OH wait, I was wrong, there is exactly one cross. Dora pushes it over and then it kills both vampires (by stabbing them and being Holy, I think) and the Announcer, who calls them "my children".

#monsterdon

Right, escape the vampires we've seen do the most actual flying around by climbing some place high.

Wait, did she plan to skewer them with that cross? That felt random, not premeditated. #VampireCircus #Monsterdon

Who cares about the students, nobody saw them anyway

#Monsterdon

@nev Does it matter what your holy symbol is or what the vampire's is? Or does the symbol have to be both and you can only kill vampires of Jewish origin?

#Monsterdon

OH MY GOD BEST VAMPIRE KILL EVER.

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

if you stake a vampire with a cross are they double-dead?

#monsterdon

Huh. So there was a cross inside the holy chapel the vampires were playing around in.

Who could have seen this coming?

#Monsterdon

okay, staked with the cross'll definitely do it, but how did the vampires manage in the literal chapel for so long with no discernable discomfort???

#monsterdon

Romana II downed by a wooden stake. Time for her to regenerate into K-9.

#monsterdon

I like how these Vampires are not fussed by old beliefs and are using the church as a kill zone

(sigh) how contemporary....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon The boy needs to glue a merkin to his chest, be a real man.

@gnomon > Emil and the Vampires

BAND NAME!

#Monsterdon

Neat church

#Monsterdon

Tiny repainted monkey Jesus got his first work here?
#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

I guess when you're a vampire but also a cat you don't have to be invited to cross over a threshold #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 🎪 😱

Bingo!

Really this is gonna have a high body count because the vampires found a town where everyone is genetically predisposed to staring off into the middle distance and ignoring loud noises off-camera #Monsterdon

These two both tried really hard to think. Got frustrated that they couldn't, then canoodled?

so confused
#monsterdon

No! Bad kitty!

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

Bunch of people dying, the town is beset by a plague. Sure, let's go play some jaunty music and laugh and have fun!

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon saved by the cleavage cross

Something to do with the twins... twins of evil?

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

What would bring this Hammer film up to the next level would be a smidge of Vincent Price, you know? #monsterdon

barricading the door and not even closing the curtains is A CHOICE

#monsterdon

I remember... the Alamo... #Monsterdon #VampireCircus

i really think they are supposed to be brother and sister. wow. big folgers vibes

#monsterdon

#monsterdon We have two plagues to fight. Incontinence and Constipation!

Oh no crucifix boobies. And I'm allergic to organized religion! #monsterdon

Finally! A cross for goodness sake!
#monsterdon

Nobody:

This movie: ( o )( o )

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

#monsterdon Those aren't coins on the dead mans eyes, thats gelt! Grab it, tasty chocolate wrapped in foil!

@Wynter Jesus is always such a fucking cockblock

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Rabies that gives you boils? This guy is a QUACK

Moribund, the burgermeister

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

Such impractical hats for combat, surely?
Pretty, yes. But also a massive "shoot me" sign

#Monsterdon

The power of JEWELRY compels you!!!!! #Monsterdon

♫
doot doot doot-doot-doot dora
doot doot doot-doot-doot dora
♫

#Monsterdon

Oh, I'd never fall for something that obvio.... wait, I get to follow the sexy twins? Nevermind. I'm down. #monsterdon

Dora be explorin'

#monsterdon
#VampireCircus

#Monsterdon ohnooooooo

Why are all the villagers back at the circus? Did I miss something there?

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

NOW YOU FUCKED UP NOW YOU FUCKED UP YOU HAVE FUCKED UP NOW #monsterdon

Carnies flipping through the air and more badly matted-in bats!

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

Vampire films never work

#monsterdon

I suppose it's only natural that a movie with this many exposed breasts would also have a "let me show you how to touch my boobs" moment

#Monsterdon

wait, so she knows

so...recorded case of monsterfucker?

#monsterdon

Seems like somebody would've pulled the stake out by now

#monsterdon

I was wondering where the slut wife had got to....

#Monsterdon

The next morning or something, an angry mob is attacking the circus because they think it kidnapped the boys (correctly), who I guess were the mayor's relations. Their angry mob stops when they find the dead bodies of the boys, with vampire tooth marks, and this somehow makes them less mad.

Back in the village conference room, two men decide to put the animals to death for child murder, and everyone else frowns. The guy who casts Speak with Circus Ghosts i back for some reason.

#monsterdon

he reloaded that gun REALLY fast, btw

#Monsterdon

death by freeze frame, you hate to see it

#monsterdon

starting with the monkey? that's rude as hell, dude

#Monsterdon

I desire to be a master of burgers

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus
the boys are back in town

oh, these are REANIMATING vampires, the medics of vampirism

#monsterdon

oh god

artsy attempt

#monsterdon

"Use all the footage we got where the two boys didn't laugh"

#Monsterdon

@lytta Yea, I might need to tap out.
#Monsterdon

"The animals are quite harmless."

I know a Sigfreid and Roy who would disagree. #monsterdon

"A circus is for the young. But not this circus. Are you kidding me?! We have a naked tiger lady. Hardly PG. Go on, scram!" #VampireCircus #Monsterdon

@nazokiyoubinbou Helga is Romana from Doctor Who #monsterdon