I think this movie was Robert Young's first director role.

#monsterdon

can you quit with the foreplay now? I'm here for the killer clowns whoop whoop

#monsterdon

Credits by Incredibly Magenta Credits LLC
#monsterdon

Magic resurrection, even by vampire standards!

#monsterdon

"Better no mother at all than one who serves the devil."
"Have you ever even been in a foster home?"
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon are they gonna fucken blow the castle up? nice

Well, the Count's dead, so I guess now everybody can enjoy the circus

#monsterdon

i don't think whipping vampires really does anything about their vampirism #monsterdon

This way is better? For who?

#monsterdon

She's whispering his lines to him... #monsterdon

Oops, I'm late again for #Monsterdon

Once in the castle, the pretty lady introduces the small child to a rockstar who is also a vampire and the vampire eats her, then makes out with the pretty lady.

And true to prophecy this movie is Full of Tits and we see the pretty lady's Boobs get Caressed by a Rockstar Vampire.

#Monsterdon

Count Paul Ruddula

#Monsterdon

Wait why did Anna's dress just fall off??

I mean the in-narrative reason, the cinematic reason seems pretty self-explanatory. Just jumping straight into the slow-motion nudity four minutes past the opening credits, then.

(Quoth @k8eb: "I too find rolling around like a rolling pin to be very erotic.")

#monsterdon

#VampireCircus starts with some old timey dandy writing poetry in the woods or something; he's dressed in I guess late-18th or early-19th century clothes, like the people wear in the Jane Austen novels or in the Age of Reason (TM).

Anyway, his kid is playing than runs away with a pretty stranger lady, who takes her to a fancy castle that probably has vampires in it. The Dandy bangs on the door in rage because his daughter was kidnapped.

#monsterdon

Is that guy the wonderful wizard of oz?

#monsterdon

Launching my #monsterdon thread for #VampireCircus, a movie in which I assume some vampires join the circus. That probably isn't what happens. Rumors suggest that this movie may be full of tits.

Monsterdon is a thing where we watch monster movies every week and make fun of them, or alternately, praise them. If that's not your jam, you might want to try muting the hash tag to avoid 9999+ posts about it by me and everyone else who participates.

lol, the Count does look stupid with his teeth out....

#Monsterdon

My 2025 eyes know where this tale is going.....rich fucking perverts...

#Monsterdon

Disco shirt tracks #monsterdon

Oh no he's hot

#Monsterdon

This little girl should be falling down a rabbit hole any moment now

#monsterdon

I feel like we're going to pan over to John Cleese behind a desk introducing flying circus. #monsterdon

"Come away child, that strange man is watching us..."

#Monsterdon

@AnarchoNeighbor The answer is sort of both. You can find your own way such as Tubi or etc, but Miru usually has a stream going: https://miru.miyaku.media/ (Today there is one.)

#Monsterdon

@YsengrinWolf @littlemiao Yes, and we saw that in Hammer's Dracula films too. It's probably not as good as direct ingestion, but it's about reviving the vampire by letting its body absorb the blood.

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

@Zerofactorial @Bluedepth Like I said last week, the cinematographer was the hero of last week's movie - in terms of turning it into something like an actual movie

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

@msh @_L1vY_ @Taweret I wouldn't take it for granted that there were any critical plot points at all... but yeah, that sounds about right 😛

#Monsterdon

I couldn't find any info on the little person at the circus, but I'm pretty sure he played an Oompa Loompa

#monsterdon

@_L1vY_ just couldn't keep his head in the game

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

@Bluedepth #monsterdon

Really? It wasn't that bad, I wouldn'ta guessed it.

Things went from sexy to bloody when I got a phone call and when I got back into it suddenly everyone was stabbed and/or bitten and made dead

THE END

so I missed the good parts of this #Monsterdon (or maybe the boobies were the best part I dunno) Thanks for taking us to the circus @Taweret !

@APBBlue I'd say middle of the road, really. There could've been a good movie here, and there were good bits in it. But only bits, and not enough of them.

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

@kcarr2015 very sloppy on the lore front, either Crosses mean something or they don't to Vampires, the Count was an idiot.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon aftershow is killing it on https://miru.miyaku.media/

@ottaross We heard him "act" here. It's clear why they didn't want him voicing the part!
#monsterdon

@Terencio Nah. I switched to my main account on a different instance, and I see lots more chatter on the hashtag. Must be something to do with my instance.

#Monsterdon

I wasn't watching it, but based on the toots, this seemed like a particularly stinky #Monsterdon.

Awesome dying face

#monsterdon

@skatem will it fight a robot?

#monsterdon

Boom! It’s over.
No epilogue for this one (like there’s ever a wrap up for a Monsterdon film)
#monsterdon

Well that was one Rank Film!

#Monsterdon

i think the audience on rotten tomatos is like at 58% on this one? that seems about right, it alternates between sloppy and actually interesting

a couple more script edits might've made this really effective

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

@SarraceniaWilds @RamenCatholic Fully on Harambe's side in that encounter...

#Monsterdon

No bingo tonight! Next time I hope. Thanks for a lovely time, folks! Doubly thank you to @Taweret and @Cherizilla

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

standard Hammer film tbh. nice horror aesthetics. glacial pace

#Monsterdon

music for the #monsterdon closing credits:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndnCDpKFg5E

Oh they had a TOmax and Xamot thing going on. Two vamps with one staking.
#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

And the animated bat flies off into the scenery! The End!

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

#monsterdon And the movie just fucked off into a bat that fucked off into the sky. Whatever...

seriously tho i think the twins' actors were frick-fracking behind the scenes

#monsterdon

#monsterdon No. I'm not buying it.

I'll allow that holy symbols can harm vampires, but you can't claim that any two random crossing lines count as a holy symbol.

It's got to actually be a religious cross.

Sanity check - was it just me, or was that showdown in the Chapel between Dora, Anton, Emil, and the vampire twins super silly and sorta hillarious? Like, the vampires are mortified of crucifixes, but then chase them into A CHAPEL????

#Monsterdon #VampireCirus

@ohiofi T-pose is next #monsterdon

I am count Slowalkula

#monsterdon

...and there's a disembodied head

Why not

#Monsterdon

surprise decapitation

#Monsterdon

You can't just put a cross on your crossbow, that's silly

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

... i mean i GUESS 'cross' is in the word 'crossbow' but it was otherwise kind of a weak cross tbh

#monsterdon

Wait. Did he just slice off his head with the crossbow?

#Monsterdon

bruh just make a cross shape with your fingers these vamps ain't shit
#monsterdon

@amyfou "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. And up underneath the rib cage."

You have to angle upwards, if you go straight through the ribs you usually get stuck on one.

#Monsterdon

lol, decapitation and still looks goofy...

#Monsterdon

wait, so any cross shape works? Like if you have a grid, does the crosses in the grid work against a vampire?

#monsterdon

that actually was a pretty cool way to kill a vampire

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The only way to kill a vampire is a wooden stake through the liver.

Oo, count's got a new bellybutton #Monsterdon

that's a good body count there....

#Monsterdon

Any good screenwriting book will tell you a five car pile-up of climaxes is better than one elegant one. #monsterdon

I think Emil put up a very good fight there...

#Monsterdon

Anton like Ooooh that smarts #Monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai #monsterdon

I think Dracula, or Count Miltonhousen or whoever he is, used his vampire powers to heat it up.

#monsterdon At least we have proper fangs now, with Emil... Finally, they got it right, in the end.

The burgermeister has a distinct Wizard-of-Oz look.

#monsterdon

oh no, not the little clown guy!

#monsterdon

That's right, follow the sounds of orgasm to find the secret crypt entrance ...

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

@moira #monsterdon

....unless you drank enough beer, lel.

Pizza face!

#monsterdon

You named your daughter "Daughter"?

#Monsterdon

Damn, they blew a big divot out of Vader. #Monsterdon

"Human beings, drained to feed the vampires!"

Well yeah. They're VAMPIRES.

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

This is what happens when a carnival stays in a town too long.

#Monsterdon

Fuck the town of Stetl though....

#Monsterdon

And this is why if you're a vampire, having a few trustworthy humans on staff is useful.

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

#Monsterdon lol this time the human lady takes the cross off first lolol

Crosses don't work on Sith Lords. #Monsterdon

we started with a mob on the hunt, we'll end with a mob on the hunt.

#monsterdon

Hahahahahaha. Ok that ruled. Death by cartoonishly loose crucifix. #monsterdon

@jeffron @Terencio She took Improvised Weapons mastery as a skill

#Monsterdon

@allanb all died off camera, we only heard their screams #Monsterdon

@yatsu Apparently a human needs to be in contact with a cross or something?

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

The announcer rips the cross off of Dora, making her safe to eat and then they chase her through... um... a church? Which I would think would have crosses everywhere? But I guess it doesn't, because... um... it's a Cross Free Church?

OH wait, I was wrong, there is exactly one cross. Dora pushes it over and then it kills both vampires (by stabbing them and being Holy, I think) and the Announcer, who calls them "my children".

#monsterdon

Right, escape the vampires we've seen do the most actual flying around by climbing some place high.

Wait, did she plan to skewer them with that cross? That felt random, not premeditated. #VampireCircus #Monsterdon

Who cares about the students, nobody saw them anyway

#Monsterdon

OH MY GOD BEST VAMPIRE KILL EVER.

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

if you stake a vampire with a cross are they double-dead?

#monsterdon

Huh. So there was a cross inside the holy chapel the vampires were playing around in.

Who could have seen this coming?

#Monsterdon

Romana II downed by a wooden stake. Time for her to regenerate into K-9.

#monsterdon

I like how these Vampires are not fussed by old beliefs and are using the church as a kill zone

(sigh) how contemporary....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon The boy needs to glue a merkin to his chest, be a real man.