Next, Announcer and Circus Fuckboy are investigating the Abandoned Boob Fortress, finding the tomb of the Rockstar who was stabbed in the cold opening. They announce that they have come to free the Vampire Rockstar somehow and that the whole town will die for killing him. Then we go to another circus scene.
bless, I love how they do the animal/human transformation (they don't, they can't)
Did he just say Boogermeister?
So seriously, these ultra-superstitious villagers are not at all even a little bit upset at the sight of people transforming into animals and back?
I mean, that seems like the kind of thing that would get you chased with torches and pitchforks, but whatevs I guess.
The next day the now vampired lady (or maybe she's not vampired... she's out in the daylight so maybe the circus boy restrained himself) begs her mom to join the circus so she can hang out with the hot boy she just met, and the mom agrees (surprisingly).
People flying through the air ... or, are they just badly matted-in bats?
Okay after the circus one of the village girls hooks up with a circus boy. They get naked and kiss to dramatic music. The dramatic music becomes less confusing when we learn that the circus boy is a vampire, and he bites her.
The announcer tells him not to do it because "it's not yet time", suggesting that her plan was to take the circus to different towns and vampire up all the ladies right before they leave instead of after they arrive.
#Monsterdon #VampireCircus Great, now the town's going to be overrun with pantherman kittens
#monsterdon Emil finishes quickly. I hear it happens to lots of young men. It's okay Emil, you just need a short nap and then you can try again.
@MindTGap@universeodon.com It sure is taking itself seriously. #monsterdon
Subjective Assessment of this #Monsterdon (so far)
Pro:
Good Cold Opening
Credits were Very Pink
Boobs
Con:
Lots of indistinct characters farting around.
This much nudity early in the movie suggests that the movie may be bad.
It's hilarious in these movies set in the 19th century they don't bother to adjust their haircuts which remain 1970s style.
#Monsterdon π§ πͺ π±
ruh roh
It's because Ameal takes them home and then robs them.
#monsterdon I'm here for the strongman-on-painted-dwarf action really. That's right, wear the high heels, apply the lash. Some lip gloss... yaaaaas.
The original Cat People (1587)
Gotta say that was pretty Avant Garde for that audience...
#monsterdon He found her special spot, if you scratch right there, she shivers and trembles. Or, it's a STD. Eh, either... both...
Sure, but will it play in Shtetl? #Monsterdon
This appears to be the live sex show portion of the circus.
I think I saw a show like this in Amsterdam once....
Tonight, for your eyes alone: crowned heads being delighted
I feel like a Burgermeister when I get a good score in Burger Time
This is fucking weird. I like the animals though. #monsterdon
In the next scene, two men are riding horses, then one falls or jumps off of his horse and gets shot at until he goes back. I wasn't paying attention to who the men were, but it's probably almost important though.
The first rule of not being shot is NOT TO STAND UP.
Young men really can't take a hint, how many times did they shoot at him?
Why are the bullets angled straight down? Are they firing from a plane?
kitty cat, kitty cat!
look it's the vampire circus from the movie vampire circus #monsterdon
After some delightfully neon pink credits, we go to some village, inside the fanciest room of which the village CDC is meeting to discuss the plague. The head doctor guy, Doctor Mustache, decides that he will go to the capital to get some medicines.
A village dude says that the medicine won't work because 15 years ago they stabbed a vampire and now they're all cursed. He's right, because this is a vampire movie, but normally that claim would probably be nonsense.
the other villages put up roblox
#Monsterdon #VampireCircus
I will block every motherfucker that posts βbring out your deadβ right now.
@SRLevine it's like another hour and 10 minutes after the cold open. #Monsterdon
"It's a disease, something that can be stopped"
hurrah for Science!
They're going to burn that guy, aren't they?
"...bring out yer dead."
"but I'm not dead!"
"Shut up!"
I think this movie was Robert Young's first director role.
can you quit with the foreplay now? I'm here for the killer clowns whoop whoop
Credits by Incredibly Magenta Credits LLC
#monsterdon
π¦#MONSTERDON ποΈ
β²οΈ 30-minute poll πͺπ§ββοΈ
First time director Robert Young had which problem during production?
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
Magic resurrection, even by vampire standards!
"Better no mother at all than one who serves the devil."
"Have you ever even been in a foster home?"
#monsterdon
#Monsterdon are they gonna fucken blow the castle up? nice
Well, the Count's dead, so I guess now everybody can enjoy the circus
i don't think whipping vampires really does anything about their vampirism #monsterdon
This way is better? For who?
She's whispering his lines to him... #monsterdon
Oops, I'm late again for #Monsterdon
I have questions
Once in the castle, the pretty lady introduces the small child to a rockstar who is also a vampire and the vampire eats her, then makes out with the pretty lady.
And true to prophecy this movie is Full of Tits and we see the pretty lady's Boobs get Caressed by a Rockstar Vampire.
#monsterdon Gonna attack the vampire in queue... how British.
Count Paul Ruddula
Wait why did Anna's dress just fall off??
I mean the in-narrative reason, the cinematic reason seems pretty self-explanatory. Just jumping straight into the slow-motion nudity four minutes past the opening credits, then.
(Quoth @k8eb: "I too find rolling around like a rolling pin to be very erotic.")
#VampireCircus starts with some old timey dandy writing poetry in the woods or something; he's dressed in I guess late-18th or early-19th century clothes, like the people wear in the Jane Austen novels or in the Age of Reason (TM).
Anyway, his kid is playing than runs away with a pretty stranger lady, who takes her to a fancy castle that probably has vampires in it. The Dandy bangs on the door in rage because his daughter was kidnapped.
Is that guy the wonderful wizard of oz?
Launching my #monsterdon thread for #VampireCircus, a movie in which I assume some vampires join the circus. That probably isn't what happens. Rumors suggest that this movie may be full of tits.
Monsterdon is a thing where we watch monster movies every week and make fun of them, or alternately, praise them. If that's not your jam, you might want to try muting the hash tag to avoid 9999+ posts about it by me and everyone else who participates.
lol, the Count does look stupid with his teeth out....
My 2025 eyes know where this tale is going.....rich fucking perverts...
Disco shirt tracks #monsterdon
Oh no he's hot
This little girl should be falling down a rabbit hole any moment now
I feel like we're going to pan over to John Cleese behind a desk introducing flying circus. #monsterdon
"Come away child, that strange man is watching us..."
@AnarchoNeighbor The answer is sort of both. You can find your own way such as Tubi or etc, but Miru usually has a stream going: https://miru.miyaku.media/ (Today there is one.)
@YsengrinWolf @littlemiao Yes, and we saw that in Hammer's Dracula films too. It's probably not as good as direct ingestion, but it's about reviving the vampire by letting its body absorb the blood.
@Zerofactorial @Bluedepth Like I said last week, the cinematographer was the hero of last week's movie - in terms of turning it into something like an actual movie
Some fine, funky casting choices. Some glam posing. Really, more drama and trauma (and body count) than I was expecting. And awesome hot pink credits. Thanks, @Taweret and co. #Monsterdon
I couldn't find any info on the little person at the circus, but I'm pretty sure he played an Oompa Loompa
@_L1vY_ just couldn't keep his head in the game
In case anyone was missing Mothra in tonight's #monsterdon , I got you: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3iu7cXksCNI#t=13m59s . Give it thirty seconds. Audio up.
Really? It wasn't that bad, I wouldn'ta guessed it.
Things went from sexy to bloody when I got a phone call and when I got back into it suddenly everyone was stabbed and/or bitten and made dead
THE END
so I missed the good parts of this #Monsterdon (or maybe the boobies were the best part I dunno) Thanks for taking us to the circus @Taweret !
@APBBlue I'd say middle of the road, really. There could've been a good movie here, and there were good bits in it. But only bits, and not enough of them.
The title could easily have been Renfrew Circus. Which is not a criticism. Making use of humans who can do things for their vampire overlords was actually intelligent.
@kcarr2015 very sloppy on the lore front, either Crosses mean something or they don't to Vampires, the Count was an idiot.
#monsterdon aftershow is killing it on https://miru.miyaku.media/
@ottaross We heard him "act" here. It's clear why they didn't want him voicing the part!
#monsterdon
@Terencio Nah. I switched to my main account on a different instance, and I see lots more chatter on the hashtag. Must be something to do with my instance.
I wasn't watching it, but based on the toots, this seemed like a particularly stinky #Monsterdon.
Awesome dying face
@skatem will it fight a robot?
Boom! Itβs over.
No epilogue for this one (like thereβs ever a wrap up for a Monsterdon film)
#monsterdon
it wasn't as big a draw as Maximum Overdrive. And not as obviously campy as many of the other movies. (still a good time, tho!!?!)
Well that was one Rank Film!
i think the audience on rotten tomatos is like at 58% on this one? that seems about right, it alternates between sloppy and actually interesting
a couple more script edits might've made this really effective
@SarraceniaWilds @RamenCatholic Fully on Harambe's side in that encounter...
No bingo tonight! Next time I hope. Thanks for a lovely time, folks! Doubly thank you to @Taweret and @Cherizilla
standard Hammer film tbh. nice horror aesthetics. glacial pace
music for the #monsterdon closing credits:
Oh they had a TOmax and Xamot thing going on. Two vamps with one staking.
#Monsterdon #VampireCircus
And the animated bat flies off into the scenery! The End!
#monsterdon And the movie just fucked off into a bat that fucked off into the sky. Whatever...
seriously tho i think the twins' actors were frick-fracking behind the scenes
OH NO! AN EVEN BIGGER CROSS!
RIP Romana...
#Monsterdon #VampireCircus
#monsterdon No. I'm not buying it.
I'll allow that holy symbols can harm vampires, but you can't claim that any two random crossing lines count as a holy symbol.
It's got to actually be a religious cross.
Are the bats supposed to sound like seagulls? #Monsterdon #VampireCircus
Sanity check - was it just me, or was that showdown in the Chapel between Dora, Anton, Emil, and the vampire twins super silly and sorta hillarious? Like, the vampires are mortified of crucifixes, but then chase them into A CHAPEL????
Given how many people died in this movie, one could say the stakes were high.
Thanks @Taweret for hosting!