I guess the vampires didn’t need to be invited into the schoolhouse because their leader was once the schoolmaster’s wife Anna. #Monsterdon #VampireCircus

Why not just shoot him with the crossbow?

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon ok the crossbow decapitation was original. i like that.

That movie was a circus #monsterdon

#monsterdon And it's over. We ran out of film. We edited this and poof... it's done

Wow, the blast through the Unitarian was lit

#monsterdon

So, the crossbow's string decapitated the count? That was fortuitous.

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

"I'll bite yer leg off!"
#monsterdon

...Sharp bowstring? #Monsterdon

Some angry mobsters show up to save they day and crossbow the Circus Fuckboy but he kills a bunch of them. Meanwhile, the twink is trying to rescue Dora but can't, because there's a bat in the way.

Then one of the village dudes, I forgot which one, stabs the circus fuckboy through the heart. The twink gets a torch to wave the bat away, and the camera pans over a lot of dead people and vampires.

#monsterdon

The twink heads to the crypt to rescue Dora then is ambushed by the little clown; triggering a nonsense fight scene. The vampires are about to sacrifice dora but the fuckboy bites another vampire by mistake. The twink is about to carry Dora away but is scaroused by the fuckboy, which he repels with a cross that decides to glow. Then a bat yells at him and flies down to slap the cross away, letting the circus fuckboy menace the twink again.

#monsterdon

If a vampire tries to bite you, just duck and they’ll bite the lady behind you

#monsterdon

Wait - are they supposed to be 14? Her kids with the Count?

#monsterdon

The longer this #monsterdon goes on the lower my final score will be.

Nice rifle kill. This movie has surprisingly good VFX in places

#Monsterdon

Everyone forgot about the plague

#monsterdon

Okay, so after killing the main vampires (I think), we decide we still need an angry mob to pogrom the circus away, and also we need to kill the count yet again.

Elsewhere the strongman bashes open a door to go kidnap Dora or something. They hold a cross out to stop him, but he squishes it. So I guess the vampires are using human allies to get around their aversion to plus signs, which sounds smart.

#monsterdon

They're really not following the vampire rules

#monsterdon

Did anybody invite him in?

#monsterdon

*Dora shoves the enormous gilt cross off the... catwalk..? ...extending across the ceiling of the improbably enormous chapel attached or adjacent to her house; the cross somehow falls like a ballista bolt, impaling the stalking Helga below*

That scene did not go at all how I expected even one tiny bit

#monsterdon

Shit, other than the nudity this movie is boring as shit #monsterdon

So the crosses all over the walls don't count?

#monsterdon

What, the cross doesn't do anything unless she's touching it?

Vampire death by flying (blunt) cross impalement!

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

Regenerate from that! #Monsterdon

Woah, that was the best part of the film!

#monsterdon

lol, a more practical way a crucifix can kill a vampire...

#Monsterdon

death by huge crucifix was pretty epic.

#monsterdon

@Zerofactorial #monsterdon

I reckon they don't have to ask to be invited in, bc the entire county belongs to Dracula. Or... Count Beefmore or whatever his name was.

@paco #monsterdon

that's usually how it works, lel...

The death of Mary Queen of Scots will continue...

#monsterdon
#VampireCircus

@cargot_robbie I have a good scream now, but 20 years ago I could've been a double threat. Or would that be a Double D threat?

@nev #Monsterdon

Y'know, I have no idea who most of the characters are. They all kinda just mush together after a while.

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

@Lazarou This movie was making me thinking a little bit of the sultry conspiracy theories in Qanon and other Satanic Sex Panics, but I kind of thought of those as porn for prudes as opposed to just... actual porn? #monsterdon

"Emperor", so uh, Holy Roman Empire?

But we have a rabies vaccine?

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

Okay so the vampire circus people are going to sacrifice the village girl named "Dora", and I only know her name because her twink boyfriend screams it a few times. They take her into the magic mirror portal but they can't eat her because she's wearing a cross and vampires are afraid of right angles. So she gets ejected from the mirror.

#monsterdon

Dora the Explorah - Shouldn't have gone through the mirrah

#monsterdon

These are the slowest-walking people in the world. What is it with these people?

#monsterdon

"Ay y'all heard about our mirror? It's pretty fukken sick you wanna come check it out? Only one or two of you tho, please."

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Emil! Schlamozzle! Hossenpeffer Incorporated!

All I hear is "bergmeister meister burger" #monsterdon

MONSTER CHOMP

Mitterhaus bites Jon! Helga is less successful, at least at first... oh there we go, she eventually managed to land a bite. Good for you, Helga.

(That real flying fox sitting on Mitterhaus's corpse in the background is pretty adorable, and is also definitely a fruit bat and not a vampire bat.)

#monsterdon

The mirror bit with the kids and the vamps is actually much better than I would have expected, considering the movie so far.

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

In other circus related shenanigans, two boys sneak in, and the Announcer invites them intonthe funhouse mirror room. They protest that they don't have any money, but she lets them in anyway because they're brave and/or she wants to kill them.

They wander through until they find a normal mirror, which confuses them, then they see two vampires appear in it, including vampire rockstar. Then the vampires appear in real life but not in the mirror and invite the boys into the mirror.

#monsterdon

I'm actually having a hard time interpreting what is supposed to be happening in these scenes. Did that tiger just gum Helga's arm as she held it inside the cage? Did it actually bite her, and she healed instantly? Was she just poking it in the mouth and it was ignoring her? Helga would have intended something different according to each of those events, but I don't know which one the movie audience is supposed to have seen there.

#monsterdon

"Anton, take Dora to the house, won't you?"

Swing by the therapist on the way, if you please, Dora's had a day

#monsterdon

I like Anton, exposing the racism of his elders...

#Monsterdon

Another village girl wanders into the forest, and discovers dead, maggot-ridden puppets of the other villagers, who I assume the panther puppet killed and then forgot to eat.

Predictably, this makes her scared and sad.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon bad kitty :(

They're actually not supposed to talk when they're in makeup. Clowns, I mean

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

excuse me ma'am, you droppped your picnic basket

PANTHER CHOMP

Oh my goodness, the transition from a real panther to a furry puppet being waved around with teeth making up about 50% of its visible mass was a visual that'll stick with me for a while, at least twenty minutes or so

Did they use borscht for blood in that scene..? It looked _chunky_.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

lol, I would've though a vampire movie would invest in some more realistic fake blood

Okay, so as part of their plan to destroy this sad village, the circus people invite Mayor Burger to their tent full of fun house mirrors, and once inside he giggles hysterically and then dies.

Maybe a vampire ate him, maybe he just died because the mirrors were so funny; I forgot because I wasn't paying attention.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Dwarf likes Ferns. Film at 11.

MONSTER CHOMP

Mirror-Mitterhaus chomps Peter the Burgermeister in the mirror that presents only a distortion of life! Is it real? Is it another fever dream??

The distraught mayor is given a lift home by the circus himbo

#monsterdon

(Y’all know Prowse is in Clockwork Orange too, right?)

#Monsterdon

Visual effects by edits that were considered impressive in the 1920s. #monsterdon

"It's not life, just distortions"

Welcome to 2025 buddy!

#Monsterdon

Oooh is this a Roma revenge joint? Hell ya, get their asses.

#Monsterdon

In-fanged Clown Posse

#monsterdon

bold to end the show with the face-peeling bit instead of the EXTREMELY horny cat attack?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Uhm ... tiger in bodypaint and bikini bottoms. The villagers are certainly getting an eyeful.

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

Well, look at that, the medeival villagers saw that the farmer was infected, and used a scarf to mask their nose and mouth. 🤔

The woke-mind virus spreads!

#Monsterdon #VampireCirus

Like six years from now someone will go wandering down the street yelling "THE CIRCUS OF NIGHTS, A HUNDRED DELIGHTS" and we'll all sigh wistfully and remember #monsterdon

@JoeWynne No heavy makeup or mask this time. He’s shirtless and looks just like himself.

#Monsterdon

wait, how did the circus get past the roblox?

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

Oh okay it's *that* sort of circus. I was wondering how the dots were to be connected.

#Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

🎪🧛‍♀️🩸 TRIVIA CIRCUS 🩸🧛‍♂️🧛🎪

👀 Look for David Prowse as "Strongman". He's usually in heavy make-up or a mask, as he was for

🧟‍♂️ The Horror of Frankenstein (1970)
🧟‍♂️ Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (1974)

and Star Wars as Darth Vader (6 yrs after this movie)

#VampireCircus

It may not be immediately apparent, but if you check a few links deep in Wikipedia, this film inspired Saturday Night Fever. Well, the shirts at least. #monsterdon

#monsterdon Dave Prowse! That's the guy who played DARTH VADER!!! LOL!

Moray Grant, husband of Moray Eel

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

Whoa - hot pink opening credits! This is serious business.

#monsterdon

Was that the whole film? ;)

#Monsterdon

The angry mob stabs the vampire rockstar with a stake, but before he dies (again) he prophecizes, err, prophecises, err... um... "makes a prophecy" that the town is doomed for disturbing his makeout session.

The mob takes the dead little daughter outside for a funeral and captures the pretty lady. Because she "serves the devil" (aka has sex with vampire boys), they beat her then lock her in the Boob Fortress and decide to light the Boob Fortress on fire.

#monsterdon

Resolving this by scanning what I missed quickly. 4:40ish seems like a record for time-to-boob?

#Monsterdon

Wait, why was the _schoolmaster_ unclothed too?? Is that why the village of Stetl is fated to die, because its clothing industry has somehow decayed to the point where no stitches hold fast? Is that the curse?

#monsterdon

lol, despite killing so many people the Count still looks goofy

#Monsterdon

Wardrobe malfunction in the Forest Castle

#monsterdon

*vampire suddenly appears between one frame and the next, immediately under his 1:1 scale portrait mounted on the wall* Ah I see the special effects this evening are going to be of a particular calibre, then.

#monsterdon

Monsterdon starts soon! Watch along (Vampire Circus), or mute the hashtag for peace of mind. Let's go!

#Monsterdon

what if fizzgig was a vampire

inspired by @moira 's avatar

#monsterdon

@moira @Bluedepth The studio could have done that with what Stephen King turned in too but no #monsterdon

I miss bog witch.

#monsterdon #vampirecircus1972

@_L1vY_ @msh @Taweret accurate

#Monsterdon

The characterization for half the cast was "is X's child"

Like, the most complex and interesting character in the film is the schoolmaster's ex-wife and we get NOTHING about her!

"She's in love with the Count" okay why? What made her become his Procurement Officer? What is she to HIM? But no, we get nothin'. #Monsterdon

I saw this early in the film and saved it to pretty much summarize my whole viewing time tonight.
#monsterdon

A CROSS-bow... omg the main vampire is defeated by a pun.
#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

@diazona @Terencio @ramsey I think we had fewer posters than normal this #monsterdon .

Ooh. That's a impressive simple little trick. WHoever was on the effects crew of this movie deserves some extra credit. Lots of great little things in here.
#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

trying to figure out who survived and realising eh, don't care, next movie

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

Holy crap this has one of our higher body counts for Monsterdon. Short of a sci-fi movie blowing up space stations and planets, this might be near the top.
#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

I love Hammer movies and will vote for them every time they appear on the poll.

#Monsterdon

And now the surviving couple have to repopulate the town, or at least have fun trying to do.

#monsterdon
#VampireCircus

The clown is actually a weredropbear!
He just fell out of nowhere onto that guy.
#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

@Crazypedia @skatem Oh that was a classic 😂

#Monsterdon

Indistinguishable characters, vampires that defy all logic, completely unclear rules surrounding crosses and deaths... that was sure some good old classic #Monsterdon nonsense

Thanks as always @Taweret for hosting and everybody for posting! Same time next week!

🦖#MONSTERDON Goodbye!

❤️ Thank you @Taweret for hosting this lurid lunacy.

🅱️ and thanks @Cherizilla for the Bingo card! "A Messy Eater" 😆

🎪 And to all the members of the Real Time Film Analysis Squad: I hope you appreciate that I did not bring up the NIPPLE FETISH so as to prompt someone to post the Yeti meme. Because I love you all!

@Taweret Oh neat, the strongman was played by David Prowse, the guy who (physically) played Darth Vader.

#Monsterdon

OH YEAH! PROWSE SMASH!
#Monsterdon #VampireCircus