They really should put up a sign warning of wild Puritans in these woods

#Monsterdon

Not a Hammer movie without some decolletage. #Monsterdon

Joachim drives for Uber, that's fun #Monsterdon

@allanb Yeah. Those would be the "evil twins" advertised in the title. 😃 #monsterdon

Oh. Does he have a stigmatism?
#Monsterdon #TwinsofEvil

Is that a *photograph* on the wall? In the 1600s?

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

"You're terrified of dear uncle Gustav!"

Yeah, how silly of me. He's just a massively prolific serial killer with a preference for young women, what's to worry about. #Monsterdon

“Sir, you are impertinent!” he says as if it’s the worst insult one can levy at another. #Monsterdon

@Lazarou How do you solve a problem like Maria?🎵🎵 #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Enter the Count! Either this is very bad day-for-night, or these vampires find a typical English day to be sufficiently sunless.

So uh which one of you's the Alucard and which ones the Richter #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Someone said in here that the wigs were out of control and I agree lmao, they look out of place and from final fantasy hair cuts.

Eyes up here, count.

#Monsterdon

So count Draculstein can't be seen in a mirror, but he can wander around in sunlight? #monsterdon

I think there's a lot of slug lines in this screenplay that just say TITTTTIIIIIIIIIES #monsterdon #twinsofevil

Either this England/Germany mix&match country is extremely gloomy, or these vampires are UV-tolerant.

#Monsterdon

Flash that cleavage, casually.

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Lmao bold choice to have this dingus instantly fall in love with one specific twin right next to her identical sister

#Monsterdon

haha

#monsterdon

HAUNTED HAYSTACK!
Oh just pigs squealing like a kaiju.
#Monsterdon #TwinsofEvil

When you become a vampire you have to wear a cape with a red lining, it's the law #Monsterdon

That's just the strawpig. Don't worry about it. He's actually quite nice, he just doesn't like horses. #monsterdon

AH! oo! the Vampire Outfit is really doing things for me, i think i might be Evil Twin RN. #monsterdon

#monsterdon Also vampires are extremely pale, they're not so beautiful as media here portrays them to be, they look extremely aged as well.

"Your uncle is misguided, but he's a good man."

...Chief, good men don't roast women alive. That's an easy tell. #Monsterdon

Oooooh snap, calling dudes out on the witch hunting

#Monsterdon

wow he already needs cataract surgery, poor dude, won't be invented for hundreds of years

#monsterdon
#TwinsOfEvil

Hot gauze effect #monsterdon

#monsterdon So he will become a vampire, like he always wanted.

This scene needs a giant oversized sombrero.

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

So this is where they keep the damsels so they don't get murdered. Single Lady Daycare #Monsterdon

Yes, that awful sound is just them killing the boar. That makes the awful sound perfectly fine. #monsterdon #twinsofevil

#monsterdon Their intercourse is so awkward.

Do you want horny, haunted candles? This is how you get horny, haunted candles. #monsterdon #twinsofevil

Ope - Vampiric seduction! #Monsterdon #TwinsofEvil

@Bluedepth Rubber bats? #monsterdon

#monsterdon The acting so far is good, I got a kick out of it in the beginning, but it makes me think about how most of the actors were uncredited.

@moira I thought she was going to hit him with it and got so excited, but then -- ??!!! #Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

We have phallic candle imagry 🕯

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Really movie!? Did you really just fap that candle?? #monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Just feel awkward watching sex scenes in movies now
Porn? no problem, actors though, just feel awks

Ah you had that vampire bite coming dude

#monsterdon

Subtle candlestick reference #monsterdon

i don't think the candle consented to that
#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

"You will be of the undead."

"Okay cool."

#monsterdon

He got that manicure just for this scene.

#monsterdon

he went from 0 to "bang my undead ancestor" real quick #Monsterdon

Becoming a zombie for the feels #Monsterdon

vampire vagina dentata, please have vampire vagina dentata

#monsterdon
#TwinsOfEvil #monsterdong

"Freida what are you doing?" "Writing a song, I think I'll call it Waterloo."

#monsterdon
#TwinsOfEvil

Oh here we go, a corpse powering up on blood

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I loves me some hand-drawn lightning, I do.

@gnomon

Being evil: bad
Being against evil: bad

There's just no winning with this movie

#Monsterdon

nice spooky sequence here. the fog is a nice touch

#monsterdon

i am the ghost of vampires past. #monsterdon

Satan isn't Beetlejuice, my dude. #monsterdon #twinsofevil

All this bloodshed because someone misspelled satin? #MonsterDon

Squire of Gothos ass muthereffer #Monsterdon

all you got is a thunderclap? #monsterdon

Thank you for applying to be the Devils PA. Unfortunately at this time we have decided to go in a different direction. We will keep you CV on record for any future openings we feel you will be better suited for. Thank you, have a Devil of a day!
~Hell HR office

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon And it’s a stab on the slab!

as a token of my faith, i offer you someone else's life. i don't know, that doesn't seem like much of a sacrifice to me. #monsterdon

Fake devil worship!!
Scamming the aristocracy 😆
*takes notes*

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

#monsterdon naked murder party in my front room
"this is boring wtf"

I GROW VEARY OF THIS VORLD

- this guy, probably

#monsterdon
#TwinsOfEvil

never trust a guy with a popped collar tbh
#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

So far "twins of evil" seems hyperbolic, only one is evil

#Monsterdon

Now he looks less like Neil Diamond and more like Black Adder. "Baldric you wouldn't know a black rite if it painted itself red and jumped up on a table singing 'Black Rites Are Here Again" #monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Does anyone else find it a little odd that they’re just having a conversation while there’s a woman lying on the table ready to be sacrificed?

#Monsterdon

Obviously they're charlatans, they can't make thunder strike on command like you

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Dang, my coven was never this fancy. We had sheet cake and wore jeans. #Monsterdon

Just another tuesday night at the peter thiel household #monsterdon

@gnomon @paco

This is the house in the rock. Not quite the same as the one in #Monsterdon - this thing is carved into the mountain.

The twins want the count. The count wants the twins. I don't see the problem.

#monsterdon

Oh so HE's the count, no wonder he can afford all that hair product #monsterdon

This ritual certainly at least more interesting than burning the lady at the stake....

#Monsterdon

"...what did people do before TV"
"Well .... lots of things."

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

#Monsterdon Actual Satanists! In Latin!

Meanwhile at a nearby Masons lodge. #monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

#monsterdon lol OK they're attacking random women.

he's swinging between sounding like every incel evar and sounding like heimskr in skyrim

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

So these so-called witchfinders basically just hunt and murder single women? #Monsterdon

I mean, I’m opposed to the aristocracy, too, but I’m not convinced that murdering random women is necessarily the best way to effect change. #monsterdon

She likes the sound of that. #monsterdon

Word choice, lol

Such a froth he's in.

#Monsterdon

Peter Cushing could be hunting the devil or the actual devil, I buy both
#monsterdon

So when do the twins start drawing blood on these abysmal people #Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Totally definition of incel

#monsterdon

>Grand Moff Quaker Oats

Holy shit I lol'd. And, as a Quaker, I'm still waiting for my damn Wideawake hat. #Monsterdon

@floatybirb

Are they just gonna burn every unattached woman of marriageable age? #monsterdon #twinsofevil

i bet all the hairspray helped her burn faster tho

#monsterdon

This literally could not be more ambiguous as to whether it's happening during the day or night

#Monsterdon

[taliban furiously taking notes]

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

"You were in the vicinity so we're killing you! Justice!" #Monsterdon

"the lord will light our path!" where "lord" == "day for night" #monsterdon

Wait kilometers? What country is this happening in again? #monsterdon

If you told me Judge Frollo from Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame was based entirely on Peter Cushing in this movie, I'd believe it

#Monsterdon

this is actually good so far. digging it

#monsterdon

uh team

metric system doesn't exist yet

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

#Monsterdon And Count Karnstein loses his cred by offering to get the Puritans laid. And taunting them that he has official backing.

That went far better for our only Black character than I feared. Praise the emperor! #Monsterdon