Cool neon ancient neon cross and two headed goat statue.
This guys has adapted to becoming a vampire really fast. I guess he was already evil so...
#Monsterdon #TwinsofEvil
Now I'm waiting for Frida to yell "BAT!", and fly away into the night.
if biting boobies made vampirism there'd be a loooooooot of pointy-teethed babies out there
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
I mean this script is super dull
#monsterdon
@jonny Sorry, I'm more of a lycanthrope expert #Monsterdon
In this #Monsterdon there are 3 kinds of people
Deranged churchy people who like to burn girls,
Satanic vampires who like to bite necks and boobs,
And decent normal people who get killed by the other 2 types
Waiitttt, at the end of his almost feminist monologue did he say he has, ...just has to, date one of the twins?
Have I missed something?
What's wrong with HER boobs that we don't get to see them too? Minus one star. #Monsterdon
I dunno, I'm just sayin', if my choices were "live alone with the Witchfinder General Flammablepants" or "Bite a hot lady in chains" I'd probably make similar choices to Frida. #Monsterdon
The directors wanted to play on the border of porn because the film is too boring
Lesbian vampires, I see... uh... π and I'm making a witty remark about that π₯΅ #monsterdon
Wait. They never told me biting boobs was an option! #monsterdon
what horniness advantages does being a vampire give you, i can't really tell how they can fuck different and why it's good enough to lose your reflection in the mirror and eternal soul over #monsterdon
Going to motorboat was a choice, I'm counting that under "lesbians" #Monsterdon #MonsterdonBingo
This town is going to run out of women #Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil
meanwhile the incel brigade is out there burning the milkmaids
christ, what fuckheads
Meanwhile, the LEAST COMPETENT VAMPIRE HUNTER EVER #Monsterdon
These twins are just like the twins from GI Joe! They can feel what happens to each other! #Monsterdon
#Monsterdon Count has been a vampire less than 24 hours and has already learned all the lore - and how to chew the scenery and Freida together.
Is Maria also going to be a vampire, now? Are those the twin rules we're playing by?
No mortal can access my bank account unless they use my PIN number, 6589...
The man's only been a vampire for like 20 minutes and he's already setting up a regular vampire factory here
okay, interesting shift on the whole vampire creation thing
Listing off all your mortal weaknesses is some next level monologue-ing #Monsterdon
Gerta is super excited to get dicked down- oh wait, she's just going to commit murder, never mind #monsterdon
@cheribaker It is *profoundly* boobular. #Monsterdon
What is the safe word here? #monsterdon
The Count is not very good at polyamory, I'm noticing #monsterdon
I suspect this is the boobiest movie to ever boob. #Monsterdon
I honestly want to like this movie better, I just wish Vile wasn't so, well... vile.
Wait is Peter Cushings character actually supposed to be the protagonist? Noooooo that's impossible #Monsterdon
#monsterdon Also Frita is such a bully.
In the M Night Shyamalan version, this is where Frieda gets hit by a truck.
Jesus, that's not a low-cut blouse, that's a high-cut skirt #Monsterdon
@Bluedepth Yep, that's how it was done back in the day #monsterdon
Once you get some poppers in him, Dietrich's sex life is no longer boring
emphasis on tit
#Monsterdon Freida goes about ten steps and gets kidnapped. Stranger danger!
They really should put up a sign warning of wild Puritans in these woods
"I acknowledge only one Lord."
Not a Hammer movie without some decolletage. #Monsterdon
to satan! #monsterdon
Joachim drives for Uber, that's fun #Monsterdon
Oh. Does he have a stigmatism?
#Monsterdon #TwinsofEvil
@allanb Yeah. Those would be the "evil twins" advertised in the title. π #monsterdon
Is that a *photograph* on the wall? In the 1600s?
"You're terrified of dear uncle Gustav!"
Yeah, how silly of me. He's just a massively prolific serial killer with a preference for young women, what's to worry about. #Monsterdon
βSir, you are impertinent!β he says as if itβs the worst insult one can levy at another. #Monsterdon
@Lazarou How do you solve a problem like Maria?π΅π΅ #monsterdon
#Monsterdon Enter the Count! Either this is very bad day-for-night, or these vampires find a typical English day to be sufficiently sunless.
So uh which one of you's the Alucard and which ones the Richter #Monsterdon
#monsterdon Someone said in here that the wigs were out of control and I agree lmao, they look out of place and from final fantasy hair cuts.
Eyes up here, count.
So count Draculstein can't be seen in a mirror, but he can wander around in sunlight? #monsterdon
I think there's a lot of slug lines in this screenplay that just say TITTTTIIIIIIIIIES #monsterdon #twinsofevil
Either this England/Germany mix&match country is extremely gloomy, or these vampires are UV-tolerant.
Flash that cleavage, casually.
Lmao bold choice to have this dingus instantly fall in love with one specific twin right next to her identical sister
haha
HAUNTED HAYSTACK!
Oh just pigs squealing like a kaiju.
#Monsterdon #TwinsofEvil
When you become a vampire you have to wear a cape with a red lining, it's the law #Monsterdon
That's just the strawpig. Don't worry about it. He's actually quite nice, he just doesn't like horses. #monsterdon
AH! oo! the Vampire Outfit is really doing things for me, i think i might be Evil Twin RN. #monsterdon
#monsterdon Also vampires are extremely pale, they're not so beautiful as media here portrays them to be, they look extremely aged as well.
"Your uncle is misguided, but he's a good man."
...Chief, good men don't roast women alive. That's an easy tell. #Monsterdon
Oooooh snap, calling dudes out on the witch hunting
wow he already needs cataract surgery, poor dude, won't be invented for hundreds of years
Hot gauze effect #monsterdon
#monsterdon So he will become a vampire, like he always wanted.
This scene needs a giant oversized sombrero.
So this is where they keep the damsels so they don't get murdered. Single Lady Daycare #Monsterdon
Yes, that awful sound is just them killing the boar. That makes the awful sound perfectly fine. #monsterdon #twinsofevil
#monsterdon Their intercourse is so awkward.
Do you want horny, haunted candles? This is how you get horny, haunted candles. #monsterdon #twinsofevil
Ope - Vampiric seduction! #Monsterdon #TwinsofEvil
@Bluedepth Rubber bats? #monsterdon
#monsterdon The acting so far is good, I got a kick out of it in the beginning, but it makes me think about how most of the actors were uncredited.
@moira I thought she was going to hit him with it and got so excited, but then -- ??!!! #Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil
We have phallic candle imagry π―
Really movie!? Did you really just fap that candle?? #monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil
Just feel awkward watching sex scenes in movies now
Porn? no problem, actors though, just feel awks
Ah you had that vampire bite coming dude
Subtle candlestick reference #monsterdon
i don't think the candle consented to that
#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil
He got that manicure just for this scene.
he went from 0 to "bang my undead ancestor" real quick #Monsterdon
Becoming a zombie for the feels #Monsterdon
vampire vagina dentata, please have vampire vagina dentata
"Freida what are you doing?" "Writing a song, I think I'll call it Waterloo."
Oh here we go, a corpse powering up on blood
#monsterdon I loves me some hand-drawn lightning, I do.
nice spooky sequence here. the fog is a nice touch
i am the ghost of vampires past. #monsterdon
Satan isn't Beetlejuice, my dude. #monsterdon #twinsofevil
All this bloodshed because someone misspelled satin? #MonsterDon
Squire of Gothos ass muthereffer #Monsterdon
all you got is a thunderclap? #monsterdon
Thank you for applying to be the Devils PA. Unfortunately at this time we have decided to go in a different direction. We will keep you CV on record for any future openings we feel you will be better suited for. Thank you, have a Devil of a day!
~Hell HR office
πΌSo youβll be an Styrian nobleman
Commissioning a sacrifice with glee π΅ #Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil