#Monsterdon And it’s a stab on the slab!

as a token of my faith, i offer you someone else's life. i don't know, that doesn't seem like much of a sacrifice to me. #monsterdon

Fake devil worship!!
Scamming the aristocracy 😆
*takes notes*

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

#monsterdon naked murder party in my front room
"this is boring wtf"

I GROW VEARY OF THIS VORLD

- this guy, probably

#monsterdon
#TwinsOfEvil

never trust a guy with a popped collar tbh
#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

The real monsters in this film are the boobs

#monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow black aaaaaadder, black aaaaadder

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

So far "twins of evil" seems hyperbolic, only one is evil

#Monsterdon

Now he looks less like Neil Diamond and more like Black Adder. "Baldric you wouldn't know a black rite if it painted itself red and jumped up on a table singing 'Black Rites Are Here Again" #monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Does anyone else find it a little odd that they’re just having a conversation while there’s a woman lying on the table ready to be sacrificed?

#Monsterdon

Obviously they're charlatans, they can't make thunder strike on command like you

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Dang, my coven was never this fancy. We had sheet cake and wore jeans. #Monsterdon

Just another tuesday night at the peter thiel household #monsterdon

@gnomon @paco

This is the house in the rock. Not quite the same as the one in #Monsterdon - this thing is carved into the mountain.

The twins want the count. The count wants the twins. I don't see the problem.

#monsterdon

Oh so HE's the count, no wonder he can afford all that hair product #monsterdon

This ritual certainly at least more interesting than burning the lady at the stake....

#Monsterdon

"...what did people do before TV"
"Well .... lots of things."

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

#Monsterdon Actual Satanists! In Latin!

Meanwhile at a nearby Masons lodge. #monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

#monsterdon lol OK they're attacking random women.

he's swinging between sounding like every incel evar and sounding like heimskr in skyrim

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

So these so-called witchfinders basically just hunt and murder single women? #Monsterdon

I mean, I’m opposed to the aristocracy, too, but I’m not convinced that murdering random women is necessarily the best way to effect change. #monsterdon

She likes the sound of that. #monsterdon

Word choice, lol

Such a froth he's in.

#Monsterdon

Peter Cushing could be hunting the devil or the actual devil, I buy both
#monsterdon

So when do the twins start drawing blood on these abysmal people #Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Totally definition of incel

#monsterdon

>Grand Moff Quaker Oats

Holy shit I lol'd. And, as a Quaker, I'm still waiting for my damn Wideawake hat. #Monsterdon

@floatybirb

Are they just gonna burn every unattached woman of marriageable age? #monsterdon #twinsofevil

i bet all the hairspray helped her burn faster tho

#monsterdon

This literally could not be more ambiguous as to whether it's happening during the day or night

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon We encounter a victim drained of blood, which suggests witchcraft ain’t your problem, friend. What you got here is a case of vampires. 🧛‍♀️

[taliban furiously taking notes]

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

"You were in the vicinity so we're killing you! Justice!" #Monsterdon

"the lord will light our path!" where "lord" == "day for night" #monsterdon

Wait kilometers? What country is this happening in again? #monsterdon

If you told me Judge Frollo from Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame was based entirely on Peter Cushing in this movie, I'd believe it

#Monsterdon

this is actually good so far. digging it

#monsterdon

uh team

metric system doesn't exist yet

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

#Monsterdon And Count Karnstein loses his cred by offering to get the Puritans laid. And taunting them that he has official backing.

That went far better for our only Black character than I feared. Praise the emperor! #Monsterdon

Wait, Cushing's character's last name is "Vile"? I can't decide whether that's way too on brand for a Puritan, or to wonder as a #Skyrim player if his first name is Clavicus.

#Monsterdon

Makes sense, Vampires are the opposite of Puritans

So much more fun, than that dull human filth

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The priest is a creep, also the amount of sexism in this society is wild.

#monsterdon They twin are speaking my language GTFO.

You don't say #Monsterdon

no one fucks like Gaston… #Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Gustav Vile in shock GOP VP swap

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Just look them, a council of Facking incels talking about burning women. The men needed help.

White horses and black horses. Are these guys supposed to be good or bad? I can't tell.

#monsterdon

oh goddammit, heterosexuality already?

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

@jonny i’m on my way home and i watching my own posts appear is weird #monsterdon

"It's going to be *hell* living in this house!"
Ah, more foreshadowing! #Monsterdon

Day for night. Never works. yadda yadda. #monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

It's going to be hell living in this house heh heh heh

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

"He's our guardian now." ... Even though we're clearly in our twenties. #monsterdon

Precision Crafted Eyebrows #monsterdon

Ah, just like I remember church. #Monsterdon

@brooke They probably have to keep importing new girls to police, at the rate they're burning them

#Monsterdon

A woman lives alone? Burn her!

Oh, wait, holdup, she doesn't weigh the same as a duck. Never mind. #Monsterdon

Actually laughing out loud in real life at everyone's enthusiasm for BURN THE WITCH #Monsterdon

Dude is literally TROGDOR #monsterdon

#monsterdon Honest, I rather be dead than live in this timeline, I'm so proud to be Benz 😀😝

first you want us to wear goth clothes, now you have a problem with the devil. make up your mind

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Yea um I can't speak German sorry sweethearts, come to think of it the remind me of twetledee and tweetledumb. Or whatever the fuck the folklore is.

He just came in to change boots?? #monsterdon

Man, that is one pale, doughy jury. #Monsterdon

Plumage???
Outrageous!!
#Monsterdon

Twins acquired, now just waiting for some evil

...er, some more evil, after the whole burning a lady alive under magenta opening credits

#Monsterdon

Uncle seems a little too focused on the clothing choices, hmmm?

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

That's the commandment that troops shall not be stationed in the homes of citizens, right? #Monsterdon

so far, 100% accurate portrayal of puritans, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#monsterdon

yep uncle master definitely doesn't approve

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

#Monsterdon i want an arsenic green carriage for my arsenic green dresses, please.

#Monsterdon 👿 👿 👯 👯

Peter Cushing: "WHAT kind of plumage is THIS?"

come on, you must have some goth clothes you can change into

#monsterdon

"Who lives there?"

"Count Con-styne."

"... Count Con-steen..."

Excuse me, I said CON-STYNE

#Monsterdon

the master wouldn't approve

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

I demand each chicken be individually credited. Give us the chicken names, movie!

#monsterdon

Is dick bush related to dick wolf #monsterdon

at least in Monty Python's Holy Grail they had the decency of weighting the witch to see if she had the same weight as a duck.
#monsterdon

@bunnyhero i fuckin love the early timed posts it is spooky as hell #monsterdon

Count Conshtien?

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Credits through a blur of flames, very on-theme. 🔥

#monsterdon Lol this priest is crazy, tbh I think they're all scared of women.

Pink credits are pretty awesome
#monsterdon

DICK BUSH, director of photography. #Monsterdon

Produced by FINE and STYLE good god these credits are an EMBARRASMENT of riches #Monsterdon

I kind of feel bad for the girl who has to suffer through these opening credits, just let her be burned alive in peace...

#Monsterdon

I'm sure this film will have some socially redeeming message

#monsterdon

#monsterdon oh no spooky cushing!!

Another one where the music's making me think Clint Eastwood's going to show up in a poncho. #monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Dick Bush? That can't be a real name, right?

#monsterdon

That's how some British children dressed in the 70s though

#monsterdon

Dick Bush??? i... don't ... #MONSTERDON

#monsterdon i'm two minutes late lol.

Oh wow, I think that all of human history, all of geologic history since the formation of the earth, and really everything since the big bang has all been in service of the one perfect moment of Peter Cushing playing a witch hunter. Why did the Universe bother to continue to exist after 1971

#Monsterdon