I will have many happy mammaries of this film. #monsterdon

Puritans: "Okay, so that there's what we've been going on about! Everybody's with us now, right?" #monsterdon

I love how these older movies end. They just finish, roll over, and go to sleep. #Monsterdon

Well, we know which 2 things looked alike and were the evil subjects of this film! #monsterdon

Okay, so this seemed … not very good. I will say that they got some mileage out of doing the “no reflection” trick with twins (and the convoluted twin-swapping at the end). The score was a bit aggressive at times (and seemed to think the witch hunters were better people than the screenplay did), but was otherwise decent. And there was some decent scenery chewing.

Really, though, it was pretty forgettable as a vampire sexploitation film. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Thanks, @Taweret for hosting a fine #Monsterdon specimen! Just enough Plot and Acting to be worthy of our mockery, and a fine set of villains various! And huge… tracts of land!

@floatybirb I feel like Floaty Birb is the re-incarnation of the guy who wrote the most evil condensations of movie premises for the San Francisco news paper TV schedules back in the 70s and 80s. #monsterdon

I think all this movie did was conclusively establish that the "Twins of Evil" were the boobs and not the girls 😕

Well, anyway, the commentary delivers as always. Thanks everyone for posting and thanks @Taweret for organizing!

#Monsterdon

desperately needed more lesbianism, our lesbian queen ancestral vampire just fucked off and we never saw her again I think?

of course that does mean she's the smart one

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Man. Ever since that Godzilla movie with the one boob shot it's like the boob floodgates have opened or something. #monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

I think we were supposed to view Gustav as an empathetic character at the end, and by that point, I was waiting for him to realize that he was the baddie (or one of them, at least). He never really had that realization, but I still think they wanted us to view him as the good guy in the end. #Monsterdon

Theydies and gentlethem, we wrap another #monsterdon with the knowledge that you can tell twins apart by the gooeyness of their lips. The ones on their face anyway.

As always, don't blame @Taweret, this is a functioning democracy, and we fucking did this to ourselves. If you're like me, you voted for the coolest name, and now we all suffer for it. #monsterdon #twinsofevil

i wonder if gustav went to hell for burning all those innocent girls and then getting killed by a vampire #monsterdon

It just goes to show you: name one twin after the mother of Jesus and the other after a word meaning peace, and the peace one will become evil

The moral: name both your twins Maria

#Monsterdon

Well, if you just gotta make a movie about twins and evil, I guess this is the movie you make.

Thanks #Monsterdon folks!

#monsterdon Aton/Gustav wins. And the Intel council remains the same.

And Tubi follows up with Lust for a Vampire, which also has Karnstein characters. #Monsterdon

I miss the days when twins were actually played by twins and not just one person and some special effects. That was fun and now I'm ready for big black cape season to start! Goodnight #Monsterdon!

#monsterdon Never mind, neither of them wins.

Hands together for Rod Stewart, he nearly made it through an entire 70s horror movie. The odds were not in his favour 🫡 #Monsterdon

Boobs out before first kiss. That's her way. #monsterdon

I think I'll be watching this one again soon, especially with spooky season almost on us
#monsterdon

okay, that was legit amazing. great choice everyone. #monsterdon

That's one dead mass murderer. Now someone kill the vampire

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

well, both bad guys died so that's good, genuinely glad Vile didn't get to be the hero

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Gustav! You gotta turn the axe horizontal for decapitation

#Monsterdon

Roll the Pink Credits!

#monsterdon

In this universe, hearts are in the diaphragm #Monsterdon

@yatsu He's a vulcan his physiology is different! #WrongHashTag #TOSSatNight #Monsterdon

He went bald! OMG he went BALD! That’s so brilliant! #Monsterdon

"...the spear killed him?"
"Yeah, I guess they die if you stab them in their spleen too."

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

gustav is starting to like this chopping-not-burning thing #monsterdon

No second final boss form? Ripoff #Monsterdon

@floatybirb The bad movies do other bad movie things too, which I feel is a more reliable sign as to their badness #monsterdon

in order for vampirism to be a "trade" where you give your soul up to the devil you have to get something in return. they got no powers, it doesn't seem like they are doing any sort of freaky vampire stuff with each other, they just get the teeth and lose their reflection #monsterdon

Why did he need to take an ax off the wall? What happened to the one he had? #monsterdon

@amyfou "One One Ah Ah Ah!" #Monsterdon

Look, Count Karnstein: if you want us to accept you as an adventurer of the flesh, we are gonna need you to have a lot more respect for hot young women.

#Monsterdon

Vampire all backing away slowly and hissing like a cat. #monsterdon

Oh wait, there's a lot of them.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon

okay this is great

#monsterdon

These sets are great. #Monsterdon

"...there must be some way!"
"We can only trust in God"
"Oh, okay ... I was thinking maybe using the stairs?"

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

I’ll never understand the desire to use torches in places utterly packed with extremely flammable cobwebs. #monsterdon

@paco Now I'm thinking of someone in the Buffyverse stabbing Spike nowhere near the heart, and he would just sigh, take the stake out, and impatiently explain how you properly kill a vampire before then biting the person

(not a real scene AFAIK but it would be totally in character)

#Monsterdon

Appropriate the house and lands for the People!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Gustav axes his niece what’s happening.

Maria opines that Freida is a pain in the neck.

@Bluedepth By the numbers? count? numbers? --dad #Monsterdon

this movie lulls you into thinking its all atmosphere and there won't be real violence or nudity and then BAM

#monsterdon

“OK, third word… sounds like… rebapitation.” #Monsterdon

Just one ruby slipper? How ever will she get back home?

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Remarkably easy.

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

#monsterdon What the fuck? Fuck the what?

Pretty decent, uncomplicated beheading there

#monsterdon

Oh no, he was carrying a balloon full of Kool aid! #monsterdon

WOW HOLY SHIT OKAY #Monsterdon So now what does the spirit vampire look like

Gusty just wanted a little head. #Monsterdon

"...and it's ... heads!"

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

YIKES, this vampire booby movie suddenly got bloody!
#monsterdon

FLAWLESS VICTORY

#Monsterdon

OOOO! wow, just took that woman's head clean off! damn! #monsterdon

damn, peter cushing

#monsterdon

WOAH OKAY NOT EXPECTING THAT

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Joachim had a real shot at highest body count in this vampire movie, for a second there.

But then he got his ketchup spilled.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Gustav is the professional vampire hunter. I forgot, what's his from Castlevania lmao.

I think that even if I was a vampire, I would not enjoy burning to death. #monsterdon

lol @ Machete to the head

#monsterdon

So now the good twin is wearing blue (associated with Mary) and the evil twin is wearing red (because she's horny). #Monsterdon

@sean *writing* vampires... are... made of... Ice cream. Gotcha. #Monsterdon

[Brotherhood of incels runs off to grab mall ninja swords]

#Monsterdon

@Taweret oh that is some weak ass vampirism, needing to win hearts and minds in stead of being able to bite someones ass #monsterdon

"GOD IS WITH OUR CAUSE"

also we finally took some goddamn advice about how to do this thing with a modicum of effectiveness! Let's go! We've got a low percent chance of success now! #Monsterdon

Here come those greedy peasants! #Monsterdon

The old throw a torch to knock a torch out of someone's hands trick!
#MONSTERDON

those guys are way too enthused about cutting off people's heads

#monsterdon

@jonny IIRC, I think they established that a vampire bite will just kill someone pure of heart, which Maria counts as. It only converts sassy people and pervs. #monsterdon

10 minutes to go. I predict two deaths and a sudden end.

#Monsterdon

Loving Anton calling the Incel Cult out here :D #Monsterdon

Scenes from the Class Struggle in Transylvania

#monsterdon

Anton’s logic is impeccable. Why haven’t these dudes held a cross up to any of the women they’ve burned? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Lol vampire vs human boxing match.

I bet he practices that cross draw in front of a mirror every day.

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Wait, you mean we should make sure before we burn them...
#monsterdon

bro this is witchfinding 101 where did u go to witchfinding school #monsterdon

#monsterdon omg 🙄🙄 lol wtf is happening?

What!!! I was 100% sure the strategic undressing cutaway, and the silhouette nudity, meant no ACTUAL nudity in this movie, and now we're seeing crucifix boob-burns!!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon lol I'm confused.

Fighting fire with fire! Yeet! #Monsterdon

Way to fight fire with fire. #Monsterdon

How come it burned her hand and not the boob that it TOTALLY unintentionally landed on. #monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

@howler0502 you don't see that look anymore.

Good

#monsterdon

Oh no, she fumbles the cross right at the goal line! #monsterdon

That wound looked like jam

#monsterdon

Maybe the real Twins of Evil were all the boobs we saw along the way. #Monsterdon

Maria, I'm glad to see ya!

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Actor playing Anton reminds me of one of the Doctor Who sidekicks. Adric was it?

#monsterdon

@Bluedepth sign singe potato pototao? #Monsterdon

Oh, you know the censor was hovering over the button with that shadow scene. #MONSTERDON

This count looks too much like Jimmy Fallon to be completely scared of #Monsterdon