Holy shit! Gustav without a second of hesitation on that machete #Monsterdon

Pete's got a swing that belies that skinny frame of his #Monsterdon

Yes! Go burn the lord of the land! Death to the landlord Karnstein!
#Monsterdon #TwinsofEvil

BRO #monsterdon

WOOHOO, losing my head over this!

#Monsterdon

Looks like she Be-Headed the wrong way. #monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

No lie, best shot in the film.

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

🦖 #MONSTERDON 🎞️

👥 💀 TRIVIA OF EVIL 🧙‍♀️🧛

Head's Up!

👀 Bert Luxford, special effects veteran, first tried Spam, but it didn't work. He eventually settled on a large German sausage to simulate Frieda's decapitation.

#Monsterdon 👯 #TwinsOfEvil

I wonder what Lord Karstein did to secure Joaquim's loyalty. (Or is he Juergen?)

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Missed the heart, bro.

And how did Yorick get Gutav's fancy scimitar?

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

RIP Only Black Guy In Movie #Monsterdon

@peltast I know! They stink on ice!
(w/ apologies to Mel Brooks)
#monsterdon

Well that escalated quickly! #Monsterdon

@dirtyoldtown ikr, I don't get it

#Monsterdon

If I had a castle I'd probably want more than one full time security guard. #monsterdon

oh noooo 3 ads in a row #monsterdon

awesome vx!

#monsterdon

aw, sorry Joachim, you didn't make it. better luck in a better movie, sweet knight. #monsterdon

You can tell it's Maria if you hold her up to a mirror too #monsterdon

That... That is not where the heart is located. #Monsterdon

Actually really interested in the commentary for this #Monsterdon 🍿 👀

I remembered who the count reminds me of!

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Oh, there's gonna be some CHOPPING going on! 🪓
#MONSTERDON

Oh that is some 70s makeup gore right there. #Monsterdon

that's not where the heart is, team

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Hold them off?? Fuck that shit Joachim should be waving his hands all "They went that way" #monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

@peltast I'll say! Oh, I see #Monsterdon

oh wow. violence suddenly got graphic

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Torches, check. Pitchforks, check.

Mute servants signs the danger. The game was charades after all!

And lions? And tigers? And bears, you say? #Monsterdon

okay, great shot, Joachim! take that whole mob, sir! #monsterdon

Why did Karnstein slap her there? I mean, he's evil and all, but what was his context/thinking?

#Monsterdon

"first word... sounds like... taxes??" #monsterdon

Only now do you witch hunters put faith in your holy cross? LOL LMAO KEK
#Monsterdon #TwinsofEvil

Joachim, undefeated champion of the villages Pantomime contest.

#monsterdon

Joachim [signing furiously] "Yours... is the superior..."

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Yes by all means take the old tunnel

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

The peasants are revolting...

#monsterdon

Heheh, Joachim looks back at the camera like

#Monsterdon

So his corpse dead wife took some time after the fucking to exposit on the strengths and weaknesses of vampires and how best to kill them? #monsterdon #twinsofevil

Joachim this is no time for charades— #Monsterdon

Musicians were pretty much the same in the sixteenth century as they are now, obviously #monsterdon

"...two words? First word...one syllable..."

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Pantomime games in the third act!

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

I like the mantle on his cape. #monsterdon

Holy shit the reveal that Joachim is non-verbal in a comedy bit???

#Monsterdon

Oh. My. God!

That pantomime scene was AMAZING!

#Monsterdon

someone should make Joachim a vampire too, or else let him get a head start on running away. that man's gone through a lot of trouble for this movie. #monsterdon

This Weill dude is the worst guardian ever

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Anton drops more exposition about staking vampires saving their victims. Now we have a mob storming the castle, as Tradition dictates.

oooh, he's _mute_ that's the excuse for not paying him enough to deliver lines!

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

any vampire that can't turn into a bat is a scrub ass vampire as far as i am concerned #monsterdon

<taking notes>
Vampires don't burn, they melt.

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Maria is…not the smart one. #Monsterdon

@moira IKR?! #Monsterdon

every so often from the right angle freida looks like princess leia in return of the jedi

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

You could make a steady living selling vampire killing tools in the Middle Ages. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon okay so Antoine McHaircut is convincing them to go after the edgelord Satan Count, which is probably what gets them kicked tf out of Europe in this timeline. Clever!

@strangefour Pretty sure it is just a third act breast reveal

#Monsterdon

Okay, I hear you, no burning, but, you know, why don't we burn him fist and if it doesn't work then stab him?
#monsterdon

@plaidtron3000 A Sound of Music reference. Nice. #Monsterdon

@Taweret In fairness, they didn't have professional sports as an outlet #monsterdon

@cargot_robbie@urbanists.social Anything that doesn't get in the way of their desire to kill people, anyway.

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

Where's a Belmont when you need them #Monsterdon

anton is rules-lawyering here #monsterdon

Wait boobs now? Did I miss boobs skipping most of the first half hour? Or is this a weird third act breast reveal?
#Monsterdon #TwinsofEvil

"...hey we're out of budget, can we borrow some of those Klingon swords?"

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

*twin peaks opening plays* #Monsterdon

I dunno about you guys but a steak is definitely the way to my heart

#Monsterdon

no, I need you to repeat back to me, y’all seem pretty set on burning #monsterdon

@SeanAloysiusOBrien i want to KNOW but also if i was a twin then i would definitely want to establish some kind of system for definitely telling one of us apart if we really needed to, it seems like an important part of a twin relationship to take "convincingly framing me for any crime" off the table #monsterdon

Let's get this straight - Fire will not vanquish vampires, and witches don't care about crosses

#monsterdon
#TwinsOfEvil

#monsterdon Also I can tell the priests wife wants a divorce.

@otheorange_tag Gotta hit that witch-burning quota. #Monsterdon

That mob was surprisingly open to new information #Monsterdon

so basically edwin wants to reform the Brotherhood from the inside.

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

#Monsterdon Anton sics Puritans on Count K and Freida with a rousing speech. Will luck they’ll kill each other off and solve everyone’s problems.

Anton taking over this cult with Facts is great news, but i do fear he'll end up in charge of this cult. #monsterdon

@Louisa

*Censors evaluating print*

Ah, there's a boob. Mark that.

Wait! There's a cross burn on it! Maybe we should keep it.

#Monsterdon 👯#TwinsOfEvil

@ramsey It lowers their percentage?... #Monsterdon

@SeanAloysiusOBrien https://law.stackexchange.com/questions/15378/one-identical-twin-proven-guilty

#Monsterdon

wow maybe we should have held up the corss to all those other victims first #monsterdon

How do you solve a problem like Frieda? #monsterdon #twinsofevil

Fun fact: Peter Cushing and the woman who plays his wife are only 8 years apart in age. That’s remarkably age-appropriate for a movie of this era. #monsterdon

WHAT THEY DIDNT MAKE HER A VAMPIRE WHY NOT THAT WAS THE BASIS OF THE PLAN OR ELSE YOUR PLAN WAS TO ASSUME THEY WOULDNT DO ANY CROSS STUFF AT A WITCH BURNING #monsterdon

Sexy vampires find mirrors on the ceiling to be a total buzzkill. #monsterdon

@sean :ai_dance: #MonsterDon

#Monsterdon Anton carried the torch for Maria! And reveals the switcheroo!

"Wow, am I a dumbass." - Count Vile and the incel brigade, probably not

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

anton fighting fire with fire! #monsterdon

@aprilfollies I see what you did there

#Monsterdon

Trouble is you can't convict the vampire count if he acting in his official capacity because that makes him immune #monsterdon

the first victim still being alive truly begs the question like what kind of pleasures from beyond the grave was the count even going for in the first place #monsterdon

gustav should really have just gotten himself a pizza oven seeing as he likes burning stuff so much, all these deaths could have been avoided and he would have had tasty snacks

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

"...dig through the ditches
And burn through the witches
And slam in the back of my Dragula"

#Monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

no no i need to rawdog may way through this myself, it's the incel way

#monsterdon #TwinsOfEvil

@moira I think there may be a go... nuthin! #Monsterdon

So, Frida tells Anton, “No, not yet,” and then she opens her gown, which I guess means, “Yes, now it’s time.” #Monsterdon

the mirror-makeout scene is what having a VR girlfriend is like #monsterdon

PoV camera during the horny fight is very good indeed #monsterdon