why is Solar Armor just a laser blast? You'd think it'd be a laser shield or something....

#monsterdon #WrongWalker

Ok, props to the actor who had to learn bug-fu. #monsterdon #superinframan

It's not often that the monster becomes less lethal before it fucks off into space. In TIME WALKER, a space traveler sealed inside an Egyptian sarcophagus is awakened from their mummified imprisonment by a heavy dose of X-rays. The movie follows a gaggle of unpleasant and/or uninteresting humans as they slowly figure out everything the "mummy" touches is seared by a nasty green fungus. Meanwhile the alien is reassembling a set of stolen crystals without any care to refrain from harming any being that gets in the way. Amazingly, some of the humans understand the danger well enough to not get killed or maimed.
Finally the alien recovers the full set of crystals, wins the game, reveals their true form, and escapes this Earth.

The movie spends about the first hour trying to figure out how to tell this story in an interesting way, and by the end it almost gets there. Thanks to the #Monsterdon community for the commentary! Thanks @Taweret for hosting and thanks @cherizilla for the real star, the bingo card!

"Keep an eye on him."
"Sure thing. Right after my lunch break."
#Monsterdon

@steggy is looking at the gloves. I'm looking at the machine gun jubblies.
#monsterdon #superinframan

If you point out to the villain's right-hand woman that she has no cleavage to show off, she will cut your head open with her laser cannon. #Monsterdon

"Do you want to die, or will you obey my orders?"

... that's what she said. 😃
#monsterdon #superinframan

I cast "Lame 4th of July fireworks in a state with stupid laws"
#monsterdon #superinframan

@starkraving666 @RobynGoodfellow heh nice one

#Monsterdon

It had moments of coherence. #monsterdon

I wonder what Dr. Nadir is up to these days. I hope he's well. #monsterdon

This is like high school TV club bad special effects.
#monsterdon #superinframan

What a coincidence these aliens happen to use Chinese dragon imagery.
#monsterdon #superinframan

This is absolutely NOT a rip-off of Masked Rider, okay? #Monsterdon

hmmm haven't seen this version of The Grinch before #monsterdon

The drill's a metaphor, right? #Monsterdon

Why are bad movies so good? #Monsterdon

I mean, there was nothing really involving time in the whole film. #Monsterdon

Whee - the university president is also the foreman (Frank) of the Uneeda Medical Supply Warehouse! I knew he (James Karen) looked familiar!

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker1982

There was a made for tv movie in the 90s, Sci-Fi Original, I think, where the basic plot was that an archaeology professor found an artifact that changed him, and he gathered up a group of ‘perfect specimens’ to go meet the ancient aliens. #TimeWalker reminded me a bit of that. #Monsterdon

So the mummy either f**ked off into outer space, or into a crystal that scorches lawyers hands.

Weird ending.

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

@LingLass I hope the sequel has plenty of mummy puns or maybe they used them all up #Monsterdon

@littlemiao Yes! Literally. Alas. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Wow let's just use our most petroleum-based outfit for these fire stunts #Inframan

@paco @Somarasu About as much as the Puppet People spent Attacking in their movie #monsterdon

Monster roll call! Claw guy! Plant thing! Spider-man! The Twins!
#Monsterdon #SuperInframan

@LingLass Did it end with To Be Continued?! #Monsterdon

@brooke A charitable reading would add "on #monsterdon" but why be charitable?

We have survived another #Monsterdon!

Well, now we know what all the silver Mylar in the uniforms is for: fire resistance. #Monsterdon

Villain can't afford better than a two-dollar wig. #Monsterdon

So they threw in a jerk lawyer for me to hate that got his greedy hand burned at the end, so that adds a point in this movie's rating for me. 👍

Other than that, this is one of those movies that would have worked better with higher production values. I especially enjoyed the campus wide power fluctuations. 🙂

Also, what is the deal with the flesh eating fungus? Doesn't seem real friendly.

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

@bunnyhero I dread the use of that "yet"

#monsterdon #TimeWalker

Tokusatsu is always improved by control panels that swivel for no reason. #Monsterdon

@Zerofactorial @Somarasu Exactly! Same hat.

#monsterdon #TimeWalker

huh, susie was also in critters 3! (and 4 but we haven’t watched that here yet) #monsterdon

the important thing now is to watch whatever is next on https://miru.miyaku.media/

#Monsterdon

Bigger balls. More blinking. More colors. Increased beeping.
#Monsterdon #SuperInframan

Two stars to this film on #letterboxd - it was hard for me to come up with positive things to say about it, honestly https://letterboxd.com/anderson_petaq/film/time-walker/ #monsterdon

Wait, what do you mean they didn't make Time Walker 2: Walking Time‽
#monsterdon

Big thanks to @Taweret for this, the final Monsterdon of 2025. Certainly wasn't the worst, and at least tried to hit all the checklist items.

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker1982

More glowing balls? This is a sequel!
#Monsterdon #SuperInframan

@paco I’m the fourth pipe from the left.
#monsterdon #TimeWalker

#Monsterdon 💀 ☢️ ⏳🚶‍♂️‍➡️ 😱

the time walker did walk, but not through time. Maybe they should have called it 'fungus covered walking mummy' instead? That might have given too much away.

anyhoo, thanks for hosting @Taweret and for bingo @cherizilla and for the excellent trivia @JoeWynne and most of all, as always...

thanks for making it fun, all you #Monsterdonians!

See you next time I hope!

@Louisa I think as long as they don't start pulsing light, we're cool

I mean.....I hope

#Monsterdon

@Somarasu Disagree. Not, like... _hard_ disagree, but disagree.

#monsterdon #TimeWalker

To be continued?

Please!

No!

-fin

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker #monsterdonBingo

well that was an hour an a half of my life i'll never get back. too bad the entire movie wasn't subsumed by a green goo before it made it to the theaters. one giant slimy thumbs down.

#monsterdon

The mummy was an alien the whole time!

Let's shoot it! 🙄

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

@DelilahTech accurate

(I use my TV for the movie and my laptop for the toots)

#Monsterdon

@Louisa as long as it doesn't start glowing and getting warm! #monsterdon

Well then. Cocaine is a hell of a drug, I guess.

I'm gonna make some dinner and watch some X-Files. Good night, #monsterdon, don't forget to tip your organizer @Taweret , and see y'all next week!

DON'T TOUCH THE CRYSTAL!

ZZZZZZZ AAAhhh! (Worst Wilhelm Scream knockoff ever!)

"To be continued"

BAHHHAHAHAHA! Yeah right whatever.

THE END

Today we learned that you shouldn't touch mysterious green stuff, and you should leave alien mummies dice collection the EFF ALONE

Thanks @Taweret for the completely mis-titled shuffly-floaty-spacey-mummy #Monsterdon that had nothing timey wimey in it at all it was delightful!

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker TO BE CONTINUED

bold words

@JoeWynne aha, i assume that the 'time' part of 'time walker' would show up in the series i guess?? #monsterdon

Super Inframan! The man beyond bionics!
https://miru.miyaku.media/
#Monsterdon #SuperInframan

Well, that sure happened. Not bad enough to be a bad movie. Not good enough to be a good one.

Thanks @Taweret @cherizilla @ryan / @miru @JoeWynne etc.!

#Monsterdon

I kinda wanna know what happens to the space dude. #Monsterdon #TimeWalker 🤷🏾‍♀️🎥🍿

The director of #TimeWalker, Tom Kennedy, seems to have had a reasonably accomplished career, even if this single movie he directed was kind of a dud: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Kennedy_(producer)

#Monsterdon ~Chara

@klu9 mmm, noooo.

#Monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie

#MonsterdonSavesTimeWalker2

#Monsterdon

@nazokiyoubinbou We are all time travelers. #monsterdon

Woohoo! Psycho ripoff! Done poorly! #monsterdon

@jonny in the forward direction, we are really all time walkers if you think about it - Linda, probably

#monsterdon

wtf he’s a grey alien??? #Monsterdon

I'm really not paying attention and I'm still stamping my #MonsterdonBingo card like crazy ✔️
#Monsterdon #TimeWalker #Monsterdon #TimeWalker #monsterdonBingo

Well,, that was... yeah

In order to really enjoy this, I need two monitors, if not two computers: one for the movie and the other to Fedi

#Monsterdon

No coffee drinking. No smoking (that I caught, at least). The dog doesn't die, which is something.

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker1982

@josh0 I love the benevolent alien movies of the 80's

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

Please tell me there’s a sequel! #Monsterdon #TimeWalker

@guyjantic I am disappointed that Sharpe didn't meet some grisly end, or even have to pay a fine #monsterdon

Lyn McKissik, script supervisor, has a LOT to answer for.
#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

He brings us peace and love! Don’t let him get away! #Monsterdon #TimeWalker

I see what is probably the final girl putting on what appears to be both a MacGuffin and the mystical creature's balls. #monsterdon

#monsterdon stone 5/5 collected.

time travel time??

I remembered the mummy alien stalker green fungus glowing balls all that nonsense. But it was actually dumber than I recalled. This was a great bad movie.
#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

i quite literally howled at that ending 🤣 probably woke the neighbours

#monsterdon

lmao on our taped version there was an ad for the upcoming evening news at the end, advertising a segment about a lady who is "the area's leading psychic"

anyway thanks @Taweret that was a thing see you all next week #monsterdon #timewalker1982

Space Imhotep had the right idea. I'm going home. Geez! Thanks all. #monsterdon

Robert Random? Victoria Von Vorhees? These actors all have the most unique names and they're all playing characters named "Coed 2" and "Man on bench." And "Gaffer."

Wait that's the crew.

#Monsterdon

@Louisa ...this implies outtakes. This implies there were more scenes.

And that they thought all of these were the _good_ ones.

#monsterdon #TimeWalker

This end credit music is *such* a letdown

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

Tink Ten Eyck.

I don't have a joke here, I just really like that name. I hope they're having a good life despite having assisted production of this ... this. #Monsterdon

Jeff Yesko "Wrapper" 5 minutes to learn, a lifetime to master! #monsterdon

Decent ending credits music.

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

Thank you @Taweret for hosting and everyone who participated.
#Monsterdon

Looks like he rolled a 1

#Monsterdon

in WHAT WAY did the time mummy in time walker walk through time #monsterdon

#monsterdon
"Mummy Dog — Buffy"

...there was a mummy dog?

HOLY CRAP!! There IS a sequel!!! #Monsterdon #TimeWalker 🤷🏾‍♀️🎥🍿

Poll results! https://me.dm/@kshernandez/115800682676325298

The view of most of us watching this ending...
Tag yourself. I'm definitely the guy in the middle.
#monsterdon

To be continued!!?? In your dreams movie! Wow was that one pointless. Thanks as always to @Taweret for hosting. Have a great New Year Beautiful Mutants and remember: Let sleeping mummy balls lie. #Monsterdon #TimeWalker

#monsterdon Not really, though.

Right?

🦖#MONSTERDON Goodbye!

❤️ Thank you @Taweret for hosting this 2025 "Wrapped"!

🅱️ and thanks @cherizilla for the Bingo card! I got a Bingo finally!

🦖And to all the members of the Real Time Film Analysis Squad: You generated so much quality out of so little.

@nazokiyoubinbou they really over estimated their chances at a sequel there I think #Monsterdon

Yet more comeuppance!

#Monsterdon #Timewalker1982

it's actually a piece of mummy poop #monsterdon #timewalker1982

@JoeWynne ...really?

_wow_

If you needed any more evidence that self-delusion was anything new

#monsterdon #TimeWalker

You know, the music is *really* underwhelming throughout the whole movie. You only notice it over the credits.

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker1982

he took scott bacula to the moom

#Monsterdon