#monsterdon

None of these scientists have pipes. I don't trust them.

#Monsterdon 💀 ☢️ ⏳🚶‍♂️‍➡️ 😱

urgh ick ugh

#monsterdon of COURSE he's sleeping with his TA lol

#rootpost for #monsterdon

@Lazarou First you get yourself a mummy...

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

These beads are going to have zero provenance, is the problem. Resale value near zero.

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker1982

That’s not X-ray safe for the people stood next to the machine let alone the mummy. #monsterdon

I'm ready for my alien now

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

holy shit, stealing the jewels? these guys make indiana jones look like a modern professional

#monsterdon #TimeWalker

They are taking x-rays and nobody has to use thse big, lead aprons?
Gee, noobies.
#monsterdon

Xraying a mummy like! that you're going to give the poor thing cancer

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

You've heard of tutankhamun?

It's time for MUTANTKHAMUN #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 💀 ☢️ ⏳🚶‍♂️‍➡️ 😱

this egyptologist has very bony fingers and also no egyptology or xray skills apparently

#monsterdon This was my least favorite table game at the cracker-barrel

#monsterdon
This film has such a "community TV station" feel to it.

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker i feel like there should be an interlock in this mechanism such that you can't press the "irradiate the target" button if the setting is in the...

DANGER ZONE
🎵

i like to imagine that the ominous music was coming from the x-ray machine. each time you hit the trigger

#monsterdon

more radiation. MORE!!!! #monsterdon #timewalker1982

PONDERING THOSE ORBS! #monsterdon

Chekov's x-ray circles

#monsterdon
#TimeWalker

If you accidentally used 10x the correct amount of radiation, the plates would be saturated and ruined...

Also, I love that they're more worried about the mummy having too much radiation rather than, you know, themselves.

#Monsterdon

@Taweret I think you could have pulled it off if you'd gotten the chance before the British grave-robbed everything interesting

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

Don't THERAC-25 the mummy!

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

He's actually x-raying the basement, his uncle owns a construction firm and wants to shape a bid

#monsterdon #TimeWalker

#monsterdon Ohhh good job, now we're all sterile! HAHAHAHAHAHA... X-Rays… humming... no lead outfits. Not running into the hallway.

Letting the intern drive the x-ray machine, rookie mistake. #Monsterdon

this is a movie about the dangers of irradiation to mummies?

#monsterdon

are x-rays about to bring this mummy back from the dead? what kind of 1950s ass science is this?

#monsterdon

that's what you get for using students for the hard work
#monsterdon

My dentist never says that when doing X-Rays.

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

Chekov's green paint.

#monsterdon #timewalker

It's the 80's. A TA is totally going to snort that. #Monsterdon #TimeWalker

#monsterdon wait, did this mummy go from "tomb to school" with no government involvement? did they steal this?

That's just the Egyptian version of Operation, the whacky doctor's game. #Monsterdon

that must be powdered slime

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 💀 ☢️ ⏳🚶‍♂️‍➡️ 😱

this mummy has been spray painted!

honestly, yeah I could see the mold settling in in the NON-CONTROLLED CLASSROOM ENVIRONMENT

#monsterdon

If this guy is a time traveller from the future whose name is literally Van Harris, I swear to god

#Monsterdon

“Let’s go for the inner lid now… carefully” THATS WHAT SHE SAID!

#monsterdon #TimeWalker

Yeah, just rub that green stuff on your arm. It's (likely) harmless.

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker1982

This scene was written by someone who never went to college or knew a professor. #Monsterdon

Warranty void if seal damaged

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

Well at least they are wearing gloves when handling priceless artifacts? The lack of face masks or bunny suits though, tsk tsk tsk.

#Monsterdon

NICE PINBALL TABLE #monsterdon

TIL mummy coffins can be opened with ikea allen keys

#monsterdon

Well, those hieroglyphs definitely... vaguely look... hieroglyph-like. Sort of.

#Monsterdon

We brought the whole stone sarcophagus, opened, back to America. Think there was smuggling involved, but whatever.

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker1982

#monsterdon lmfao that sneeze into the skeleton drop made me lol

@Lazarou

Please don't mock his crippling condition

#Monsterdon

Indiana Jones ruined the archeologist aesthetic.

#Monsterdon

Meanwhile, in Wonder Woman's back yard.... (ah for the Erin Grey years)

#monsterdon

#monsterdon He almost got dull-paddled with a spatula by a skeleton... LOL.

#monsterdon

This is incredible! I think that it's the world's first cat cafe!!

How come these guys aren't wondering how the ancient pyramid already had electric lights in it?

#ALIENS #Monsterdon #TimeWalker

Ohio Smith here…

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

Why do those dudes have green crud on em? #Monsterdon

It's a CHAMBER

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou

The health-conscious alternative to the science pipe

#Monsterdon

Everyone's fine, as is typical of an earthquake #monsterdon

It's time for #Monsterdon!

Tonight is Time Walker.

Unfortunately, there isn't a Muppet version starring Fozzy named Time Waka.

18 centimeters and the monster is crowning.. oh, wrong movie #monsterdon

#Monsterdon

We have bandanas because archeology.

I had these guy's clothes catalog #Monsterdon

Dramatic start!
#TimeWalker #Monsterdon

Please enjoy our stock photography library of ancient Egyptian architecture. We DEFINITELY could not afford to film there. So here's some voice over.
#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

"Earthquake!"

"North Wall is going!"

*piano slide*

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

Script edits by We Can't Afford This, Inc.

#monsterdon #TimeWalker

That credit font is nice. #monsterdon

Aziz! Light! #Monsterdon #TimeWalker

Now with more stock footage! #monsterdon

Oboe! We are in Egypt because DOUBLE REED!!!

#Monsterdon

Oh, scratch that it's just "Time Walker"

I think there are mummies and pyramids involved. No word on whether the mummies will turn into bats or vampires, as seasoned #monsterdon watchers might expect.

robert random. okay.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 💀 ☢️ ⏳🚶‍♂️‍➡️ 😱

Happy to see the Sphynx

Time Walker is Jimmy Walker's great uncle, not many people know that

#monsterdon #TimeWalker

This should have sequels like "Time Stroller" and "Time Jogger"

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker SPACE!!!! IN PUBLIC DOMAIN IMAGERY!

2001 vibes! #monsterdon

The villain is obviously irritable because on the one hand, her head is hot from the helmet and cheap wig, but on the other hand, she's scantily clad, so she can't just crank up the air conditioning. #Monsterdon

@josh0 I see _someone's_ hankering for a cornfield vacation

#monsterdon #TimeWalker

Weird how Inframan just happens to grow to the same scale as the monster. It would have been an easy fight if he had grown twice the size of the monster. #Monsterdon

*SQUISH*
#Monsterdon #SuperInframan

why is Solar Armor just a laser blast? You'd think it'd be a laser shield or something....

#monsterdon #WrongWalker

why did this happen, and what does it mean?

#monsterdon #endingsOfMonsterdon #BestOfMonsterdon #CrystalGrabsOfMonsterdon #HandGoringsOfMonsterdon #HandDissolvingCrystals #FleshEatingCrystals #InterstellarFleshEatingCrystals

The big red spider monster here really feels like just a bulked up big bellied brother to the man-spider from the original Kamen Rider
#Monsterdon #SuperInframan

Ok, props to the actor who had to learn bug-fu. #monsterdon #superinframan

looks like Barney the Dinosaur's gangster brother

#monsterdon #WrongWalker

This movie really captures the energy of a tokusatsu movie stitched together from a handful of episodes, despite being an entirely new creation.
#Monsterdon #SuperInframan

It's not often that the monster becomes less lethal before it fucks off into space. In TIME WALKER, a space traveler sealed inside an Egyptian sarcophagus is awakened from their mummified imprisonment by a heavy dose of X-rays. The movie follows a gaggle of unpleasant and/or uninteresting humans as they slowly figure out everything the "mummy" touches is seared by a nasty green fungus. Meanwhile the alien is reassembling a set of stolen crystals without any care to refrain from harming any being that gets in the way. Amazingly, some of the humans understand the danger well enough to not get killed or maimed.
Finally the alien recovers the full set of crystals, wins the game, reveals their true form, and escapes this Earth.

The movie spends about the first hour trying to figure out how to tell this story in an interesting way, and by the end it almost gets there. Thanks to the #Monsterdon community for the commentary! Thanks @Taweret for hosting and thanks @cherizilla for the real star, the bingo card!

"Keep an eye on him."
"Sure thing. Right after my lunch break."
#Monsterdon

Oh, Zhu Ming is the guy who got attacked in the car. #monsterdon #SuperInframan

@steggy is looking at the gloves. I'm looking at the machine gun jubblies.
#monsterdon #superinframan

If you point out to the villain's right-hand woman that she has no cleavage to show off, she will cut your head open with her laser cannon. #Monsterdon

"Do you want to die, or will you obey my orders?"

... that's what she said. 😃
#monsterdon #superinframan

I cast "Lame 4th of July fireworks in a state with stupid laws"
#monsterdon #superinframan

@starkraving666 @RobynGoodfellow heh nice one

#Monsterdon

It had moments of coherence. #monsterdon

I wonder what Dr. Nadir is up to these days. I hope he's well. #monsterdon

This is like high school TV club bad special effects.
#monsterdon #superinframan

What a coincidence these aliens happen to use Chinese dragon imagery.
#monsterdon #superinframan