...it's not going to be a quick fight, I know that

#monsterdon

This robot kills with his lethal boredom field.

#monsterdon

Oh wow, the Watchman gets another scene. Hero

#monsterdon

OH MY GOD AGAIN WITH THE BREASTPLATE, STOP TRYING TO MAKE BREASTPLATE HAPPEN

#monsterdon

I mean it's a pretty solid evil plan.

-Defeat the Ancient Aztec mummy

-sell it's cursed treasure

-build an army of humanoid robots take over the world

#Monsterdon

Wait, you *still* haven't fully translated the information? I thought that the mummy arrived after that was done?

#monsterdon

@Lazarou Yeah, especially since it takes like 45 minutes to tell enough back story so they can find out what's going on right now. #monsterdon

i want to see this dang robot get in and out of one of those 50's cars please #monsterdon

prettyboi so speechless all he knows is to be pretty

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

#monsterdon So we're getting this whole-ass mad scientist monologue from Dr. Krupp about how he managed to reanimate a dead human in a robot body; and in the first 45 minutes of the movie we were introduced to a *completely different* mechanism to also defy natural mortality..?

Just throw in a third reason for fun. Random lightning strike, insulted witch, alien technology hopping consciousness between parallel planes of existence. Just totally lean into it. Mortality is a skill issue.

Aww, it's nose lights up! That's so... so...

#monsterdon

You're doing something wrong if you need the robot to be alive, sir

#monsterdon

#monsterdon A man! A man to hug and a man to kiss! Just for ME! ;)

Ahhh, there's the robot.

It all makes sense now.

Sorta...

#monsterdon

please cut to the mummy in the present telling us this story

#monsterdon

he better flip that big fuggen switch i stg
#monsterdon

(a little late): "Who the fuck put an unlocked door in the back of my snake pit!" #monsterdon

Could they not give the minion some 'Phantom of the Opera' style mask?
His arm is getting tired

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I'm not the bat! I'm not Krupp! It's pronounced Fronk-en-steen!

now THIS is a laboratory!!

#monsterdon

that kiss was so awkward

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

Still no Robot.....is that what Dr Bat is cooking up in his lab?

It better be.

#monsterdon

What this film needs is a Mexican wrestler + a little person

#monsterdon

yeah, mad science lab, NOW we are talking!
#monsterdon

@springdiesel 3/4 of the way through, not even a robot MANUFACTURING FACILITY

#monsterdon

THERE WILL BE NO ROBOT.

#monsterdon

A body, a brain and radium. What a shopping list #monsterdon

@Taweret@octodon.social I *think* the mummy has his gear and doesn't care? I'm not sure.

#monsterdon

The creature with an atomic brain vs the mummy?

#monsterdon

trying to figure out if you're out of the flashbacks in this movie is like that Rick and Morty ep where he's trapped in layers of a simulation

#monsterdon

how can you even start a movie 50 minutes into a 60 minute runtime, you have to introduce a whole ass ROBOT #monsterdon

IT WAS A FLASHBACK of a flashback?
#Monsterdon

I cannot believe this actor has EVER looked for anything in his life. There's no way he has even SEEN anyone look for something. #monsterdon

This scene you thought was in the preset? It was 5 years ago!

#monsterdon

@JoeWynne @moira (why don't they return our calls?)

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Dungeon Master here, NEVER SPLIT THE PARTY 🪓

#monsterdon 22 minutes left and no robot yet. I suspect we can't do ANYTHING after all, huh? Mr. Edward, with the fancy haircut and the not-tripping-on-tipped-over-crucifixes.

If the mummy is repelled by crosses, HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET INTO THE GRAVEYARD #Monsterdon

"Last 2 guys in ties who came here in the middle of the night beat the shit outta me. What do YOU want?" #monsterdon

I'm confused, is The Bat the same person as Dr Krupp, or?

#monsterdon

Really feeling for Flora in this, while all the men plot around her, controlling her.....

#monsterdon

...the bat

...I swear to god if you do more "Aztec Mummy with vampire powers" I will kill everyone in this theater and then myself. #Monsterdon

"you can't investigate without any clues"

Have you met the Police?

#monsterdon

We have not even been introduced to someone who could credibly create or operate a robot. #RobotVsTheAztecMummy #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Flora's going back to bed. I figure I have about ten minutes here before we cut back to another flashback - I'm getting a snack. Don't let any plot happen while I'm in the kitchen!

Plots you couldn't have in the 21st century where cameras are everywhere

"Why are my slippers dirty, have I been outside?"

#monsterdon

#monsterdon You'll act quite normally. Not totally normally, but just quite. “Cha cha, real smooth”

Maybe they should have called it Flashback vs the robot vs the mummy

like a 3 way cage match

I think the flashback is winning

#monsterdon

Most tombs nowadays have a little plot-specific cardboard placard over the door

#Monsterdon

Oh wait, somebody drew all over his face with paint, that's why he's hiding his face.

And he's not a minion, he's The Bat's friend?

Again with the Breastplate

#monsterdon

i wanna see pachuco Two Face's, face

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

So. Much. Slow. Walking.
#monsterdon

@blogdiva no drool

#monsterdon

@bk1e whatareyou, in the writer's guild?

#monsterdon

Unlike the previous Aztec mummy movie, we got our mummies right up front, however we're really low on robots so far.

#monsterdon

This plot #Monsterdon

why is the driver covering his face? ooooh! that's pachuco Two Face.

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

What's up with all the hypnosis of women in these films? #Monsterdon

The English script was written by someone who didn’t know a word of Spanish and just made up a story that loosely reflected what’s on screen. #Monsterdon

Oh man this 'Flora is mind controlled' scene is quite something as well

"FLORA, FLORA.....DON'T FIGHT IT"

#monsterdon

"And the mummy went back to the pyramid?"

"No, it was completely destroyed, so he checked into a Howard Johnson's and took a job in a local accounting firm."

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "Continuing our search, we hurried to the snake pit..."

I hope we return to the snake pit once we escape this flashback.

Is this whole movie just some waster's wild story at a party?

#monsterdon

@blogdiva "expensive experiments" he spent all his grant money on sneks

#monsterdon

WAIT! so the mummy's temple was destroy? so he's just looking for real estate?!?!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

Convenient having a pit of rattlesnakes right there in the villain's hideout

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon the mummy is wearing converse hi-tops. Just throwing it out there.

Narrator: "Those were not actually rattlers" #Monsterdon #RobotVsAztecMummy

lol, chekovs 'pit full of rattlesnakes'

"I never forget the affection I had for Flora's father" oooo, Queer romance?!

#monsterdon

The mummy is immune to SMG fire and can do tons of damage with a shove? Or were those vials of RFNA or something?

#monsterdon

Dr Krupp has the kindliest face of all these oafs

#monsterdon

That escalated quickly

#monsterdon

@Taweret@octodon.social lol, I bet you had forgotten about Dr Krupp/The Bat too, I did!

#monsterdon

OMG QUÉ FALTA DE RESPETO
so Originarios that haven't converted to the euro-death-cult are like vampires?!?!

btw: y'all know vampires are antisemitic monsters, right?!?!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

if he's gonna do all these flashbacks, he should at least wave his hands and make that 'doo doo doo' noise Wayne and Garth make when they do a flashback

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The Mummy has an overwhelming dedication to artsy decor pieces. Some bangles, a neat little breastplate, "walk like an e-gyp-tian!”

well if history doesn't repeat itself, this movie certainly does. #monsterdon

#monsterdon "...time passed rapidly..."

I can assure you it did not

"Also, there was a really weird thing about some chinese wrestlers. I don't know why we did any of that."
#monsterdon

@Ayyyydrew Ugh, can attest. When they wake you up for midwatch with the flashlights in your eyes. SO annoying.

#monsterdon

so these's settler colonialists are stealing the goods La Momia Azteca was entrusted with and am supposed to feel bad for these plunderers?

dude is as good as a health insurance CEO

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

#monsterdon You aren't frank, you're Edward. You ninny!

#Monsterdon bright lights! his only weakness

"You have my word of honour that what I'm telling you is the truth"

Laughs in post-truth 21st century where words mean nothing

#monsterdon

the mummy is a vampire now!

#monsterdon

mummy appears at 17 minutes.... i was 5 minutes off with my guess #monsterdon

Unhappy mummy sounds are much less terrifying than I expected.

#monsterdon

Breastplate, breastplate, breastplate. This movie is obsessed. #Monsterdon

LMAO so whenever Flora talks, there's a voice over?

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

Don't do it! The Aztec mummy! He's gonna get you! #monsterdon

#monsterdon The lower temple, where Barry Manilow was singing “Copa Cabana” it was quite an exploration!

"This must be the room under the pyramid."

I think you might be right. We are under the pyramid, and this is a room.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🤖 :AztecCalendar: 👨‍🔬 🗺️ 😱

Wait why is there a kid in there?

@diazona Technically there *was* a Nahuatl script, which I guess they *could* try calling hieroglyphics?

#monsterdon

How many history professors does it take to push a pyramid door open?
#monsterdon

#monsterdon We aren't going to talk about the ritual drums playing inside the pryamid. LOL.

@Louisa The ancients were always giving random people treasure maps.

It was their culture.

#monsterdon

wondering in caves to bad music
#Monsterdon

Dude, your drums are smokin! #monsterdon

** Previously, on Aztek Mummy... **

#monsterdon