Factional fiction, huh? I think we've had just about enough of THAT recently, don't you think?

#monsterdon

there's a Gay Ramón in this movie

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO

#Monsterdon

@bunnyhero Yeah it kind of is the same movie, except somehow way less terrible

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

Angel isn't that strong for someone that wears a superhero outfit.
#Monsterdon #Curse of the Aztec Mummy

A pit full of rattlers. Got it.

#monsterdon
#TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@hollie oh lol it *is* the snake pit

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

The Angel is basically Batman, right?

Oh wait, Batman is the villain

No, that’s not right either

#Monsterdon

@blogdiva It's how he shows his moral superiority. El camino de la lucha.

#monsterdon

"Are they evil scientist walls or haunted house walls?"

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

J. Jonah Jameson wakes up in a very wrong place at a very wrong time, and thinks, "fuck, I shouldn't've said so many bad things about Spiderman."

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

aw, the death chamber's just another fucking closet! Booo.

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

Flora. Fauna. With me.

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

(The alarm rings)

"There's a stranger out there!"

"No, that's just my DoorDash."

This movie couldn't be made today.

#monsterdon

I'm hoping this wrestler will pan out

#monsterdon
#TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

#monsterdon It’ll turn out that Angel will be the guy in the robot outfit to fight the Aztec Mummy in the other film. LOL.

WHEN YOU'RE A JET YOU'RE A JET ALL THE WA

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

Gotta say, this is much more hip than the flashback gave it credit for

#monsterdon

quiet as a dormouse

a luchadormouse

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

breastplate

DRINK!

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

El Santo lounging on his very not femine looking boudoir, whilst perusing the Sears Roebuck catalog section for Lucha Libre masks… as one should.

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

#monsterdon Dr. Almaden, and his giant jug of cheap wine!

Henchman looked a lot cooler after his face got burned with acid.

Only hire henchmen with cool acid burns, folks!

#thecurseoftheaztecmummy #monsterdon

That's not how you hypnotise someone. Just sayin'. I mean, where's the shiny spinning watch?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Back with the coming on command. Come. Come here, come there, come on the ceiling, come all over the place! She's got amazing willpower! Come! Right now! Someone get me a mop!

#monsterdon Flora feels fine... Neigh and Whinny! Nice and groovy.

"I don't want the money." - the mad doctor, and also the UHC CEO

#monsterdon

"Take that brat away! Lock her up!"
#Monsterdon #Curse of the Aztec Mummy

@Mikal @lytta They don't necessarily *have* to be bad - in fact we have watched a few pretty good ones. But we're not choosing based on movie quality.

#Monsterdon

They were trying to squeeze as much money as possible by regurgitating the same film with slightly different plots thrown in

#monsterdon
#TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@diazona @JoeWynne well, I started drinking, so desensitized is a good word

#monsterdon

also, didn't we see El Angel earlier in a black mask?

so the guy was ahead of his UI/UX time with light and dark mode?

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

#monsterdon Finally the #SuddenStringSection shows up. Been missing you boys!

Y'know if I were going to be sacrificed against my will I probably would not willingly go along with the ritual dance

Just sayin'

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

Wait did we just switch to Project Runway?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Still going on with cursed objects. A bangle and a breastplate. We can't seem to shake this pair of tchotchkes.

i've got the flashback timer running again

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

uh okay it froze

I'm not entirely sure this isn't part of the movie

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@moira HOW DO YOU HAVE A FLASHBACK

IT'S THE FIRST FILM #Monsterdon

"The Angel" hides his identify, but his close-fitting clothes reveal so much. #Monsterdon

@blogdiva i was assuming (well after the fact) that was acid face guy in a confusingly timeline'd flashback. since he was compelled to hide his face

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The Angel... ohhh-kay. He's got macguffin written all over him. And he wears a A on his belt, A for Angel. Fine.

LMAO "A" for Angel.

that ain't no angel, tha's EL SANTO!!!

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

Take a shot every time someone says "breastplate"

#monsterdon

“He who ran came back to say,
That the other heroes were buried today”

…gonna tell my grandkids this is from the Bible.

#thecurseoftheaztecmummy #monsterdon

@diazona @yatsu A braindead jellyfish, you give him a camera and a script, he'll make a better movie than this. #Monsterdon

oh jesus the fucking breastplate again

why

why does anyone give a fuck about any of this

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

Clearly nobody other than The Bat could anonymously send you a drawing of a bat

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

Is this technically a taco western?

#monsterdon

@yatsu "Young America Horror Club was subsequently brought up on charges related to their recommendation. Inquiries by the FBI led to a wide-ranging and profitable movie recommendation scheme which netted the CEO over $30 million a month. He was arraigned in Los Angeles County in 1959, but jumped bail and managed to elude pursuers by leaping through successively more confusing flashback sequences." #Monsterdon

The Bat! #thecurseoftheaztecmummy

https://archive.org/details/CurseOfTheAztecMummylaMaldicionDeLaMomiaAzteca1957-English

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I'm glad that the steno dude took his cigarette out of his mouth in order to answer, and then got back to chain smoking and typing reports. Reports! I love typing reports! Type type type! Puff puff puff!

@moira I will attempt to restrain mys ... no, no I wont 🤣

#monsterdon

This one seems more polished already.

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy #DoubleFeature

OK go time for Curse of the Aztec Mummy! Because for some reason a few of us decided we need to be subjected to more of this

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@blogdiva what do you think C.L.A.S.A stands for?

Centre Los Artistas Screen Asociación

???

#monsterdon

The moral of the story is that when your pals decide to tell you long rambling stories, you gotta cut them off before it gets ridiculous and sad #monsterdon

@jonny this was the first metamovie we've featured on #Monsterdon I think

Curse time! #monsterdon

@paco it's between him and the Watchman for who wins this movie.

#monsterdon

@lytta #Monsterdon #RobotVsAztecMummy

All this guy ever does with his gun is shoot things out of other people's hands. What a ripoff #monsterdon

I liked all the screaming at the end, it was cathartic.

#Monsterdon

I am GENUINELY angry at this movie

wow

#monsterdon #TheRobotVsTheAztecMummy

#Monsterdon and the mummy fucks off into the pyramids

well i *did* get a robot-mummy fight

so mission accomplished <3

good night all !

#Monsterdon i love the intensity on the evil dr krupp's face

he's like 90s tim curry mixed with 50s orson welles and told to go bonkers

@moira don't give Hollywood ideas....

#monsterdon

@moira Not even 15 minutes. And for 10 of that, it was laying on a table. Not the most DYNAMIC robot I have ever seen.

#monsterdon

whelp he disarmed the robot #Monsterdon

@shig I have seen such robots at Festivals I think

#monsterdon

Can't stop sayin' breastplate. #Monsterdon #RobotVsAztecMummy

This was beneath Mexican film standards - it qualifies as a crime
#monsterdon

@Zerofactorial @starkraving666 how else would the robot suckle it's robot children?
First Law of Robotics

#monsterdon

And there's the abrupt #monsterdon ending we were expecting.

Grrr Grr Grr. Boom - the end.

So the final battle was two hugs, a light poke, and ten seconds of schoolyard flailing.

The solution to the mummy's rampage was "Mom sent me back to the store to return the things I shoplifted, sorry mister."

There was more flashback in that film than actual new material.

In short

FUCK that movie. #Monsterdon

I'll assume that the mummy fucked off into the pyramid, somehow. Anyway, I guess that's an ending. Until they try to steal the breastplate again?

#monsterdon

@ottaross Orson Welles! Yes! #monsterdon

Did we ever exit the flashback? Are we left in a flashback? If you finish a movie while in a flashback, you'll be stuck there forever!

#Monsterdon

Ok 10 minute bio break, and then anyone who's keen can join the #monsterdon double feature: Curse of the Aztec Mummy! at 15 minutes past your current hour.

i think that was the biggest "what the fuck" fully certified clusterfuck of a movie that i've seen on #monsterdon. it barely qualified as a movie

We really need a snake pit around here, would spice up the place

#monsterdon

had to reboot my computer, damnit!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

aww robot-mummy hug

#Monsterdon #TheRobotVsTheAztecMummy

oh man the mummy is totally wailing on that ro—wait, hold on. what is the original form? is it "wail on", "whale on", or "wale on"? Oh shit the movie's over

#Monsterdon

WELL NOW THAT WASN'T VERY GOOD NOW WAS IT

#monsterdon #TheRobotVsTheAztecMummy

The way the mummy rips up the robot means that the suit had to empty at the time, I guess?

Also, he's walking normally.

#monsterdon

"when a robot and an aztec mummy love each other very much..."

#monsterdon

WHAT THE...

smoking night watchman?????

#Monsterdon #TheRobotVsTheAztecMummy

So we didn't get a Mexican wrestler, but we are getting a wrestling match at least

#monsterdon

Evil doctor has crazy evil doctor stare DOWN. All that practicing in front of the mirror is finally paying off

#monsterdon

With the guy in the robot suit it's a bit like Ripley in the powerloader...

ooff, the Robot goes down.

#monsterdon

...it's not going to be a quick fight, I know that

#monsterdon

This robot kills with his lethal boredom field.

#monsterdon

Oh wow, the Watchman gets another scene. Hero

#monsterdon

Dr Almeda really laying into that minion, like Homer vs the Krustyburgler level of overkill

#monsterdon

@Lazarou Yeah, especially since it takes like 45 minutes to tell enough back story so they can find out what's going on right now. #monsterdon

i want to see this dang robot get in and out of one of those 50's cars please #monsterdon

prettyboi so speechless all he knows is to be pretty

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

Aww, it's nose lights up! That's so... so...

#monsterdon

You're doing something wrong if you need the robot to be alive, sir

#monsterdon