The real monster was the film itself
#monsterdon

It's very simple. The plot is a Russian Doll structure, only all the dolls are drunk and they hate you. 😂 #monsterdon

#monsterdon WHAT

THAT'S IT

WHAAAAT

And that's a wreck! The mummy shambles off to return to his grave, which as was previously established not fifteen minutes prior as a plot point no longer exists! The robot was bear-hugged into pieces I think? Nobody at all fucks off into the sea, but if they had we would have been treated to a thirteen minute single camera walking take with no dialogue, so it's for the best.

Thank you @Taweret@octodon.social for hosting! Thank you @cheribaker for the bingo card!

WAIT?!?! ALL OF THIS HAPPENED 5 YEARS AGO?!? WTF?!?!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

why would the doctor had a pit of rattlesnakes?!?!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

they really couldn't have found a whiter woman to play Xotchil *smdh*

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

YAY!!!!! LA MOMIA BROKE CHAPTGPT!!! and he got rid of the #techbros!!!

and Flora gives la momia the plundered goods of his people.

A HAPPY ENDING!!!

and that's all folks!!!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

"I dragged the thing out as long as possible…"

The most believable part of the dialog so far

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Casual graverobbing in service of rebutting criticism about an academic presentation, narrated by a participant *to a bunch of the other participants who were there when it happened*, totally normal things.

that guy with the black glasses is giving me Pedro Pascal vibes

mmmmmmmmm Pedro Pascalllllllll

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

with all this reused footage, now am wondering how much money these fuckers made out of these cut-and-paste movies

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

Discount Orson Welles and his rudimentary Gameboy controller are presiding over the most awkward fight sequence in cinematic history.

#monsterdon

Flora is really that easy to hypnotize?!?! this Flora not being a Luchadora totally sucks.

also, WTF with this gringo doctor being so powerful?

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

so the guy is into women's jewelry and clothes but is using archeology as a cover?

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

prints by "Pathé".

they were fucking everywhere back in the day, weren't they?

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

every Saturday at 3pm WAPA-TV would broadcast all these old Mexican movies and more than half of them were El Santo movies.

but i don't remember these momia azteca movies, so this is cool, to watch them as an old fart, LOL

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

oooh there's gonna be an audience for la lucha libre, LOL

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

@paco "Hello, Police...do you have about 45 minutes? And how do you feel about Aztec Opera?"

#monsterdon

"this picture is a mix of factual data mixed with fiction"

what the fck was that about tryna prove the movie is based on real events?!?!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

OMG am the same 10 year old getting agita because El Santo is tied up in a fucking cell tryna survive the snek pit

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

OMG THEY ARE DOING THE WHOLE XOTCHIL BACKSTORY AGAIN!!!!

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

The Robot's actual life goal was to tie a pair of shoes, but with those enormous pincer hands they gave him, it was a dream too big.

#monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow must be a record for mentions of the word 'breastplate'

#monsterdon

Honestly, I feel violated. Was that even a movie? What just happened?

#monsterdon

The mummy has been living in this cemetery FOR FIVE YEARS

#monsterdon

i reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally want one of those typewriters!!!!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

Flora can't recall anything because she's been hypnotized by the discount Orson Welles guy we saw earlier!

#monsterdon

so gringo scientists are really criminals cuz they're always tryna conduct experiments on people south of the border?

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

"It was the best experience of my life" he said with his Wife in the room....

#monsterdon

you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're sleeping
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're dead
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're getting tired
you're getting tired

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

I will not tell the depraved minds that run #monsterdon that there are both more Aztec Mummy films and more Wrestling Women movies. Woops!

#monsterdon Okay, so American International - Curse of the Aztec Mummy. More of this. MORE OF THIS FINERY. Grrrreeat. ;)

This guy's face did so much acting. #monsterdon #RobotVsAztecMummu

AM SO HERE FOR THE NEXT MOMIA MOVIE!!!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

Welp. I was one Shady Business Deal away from Bingo. 🤷‍♀️ Ya win some, the mummy wins some. Thanks everyone! G'night. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Good golly this one was real bad

I have NO IDEA what just happened on #Monsterdon 🤖 #TheRobotVsTheAztecMummy 😆🤣 But thanks for the craziness @Taweret@octodon.social & Company!

This guy would make a decent Doctor Strange.

#monsterdon

"The shit you see guarding this graveyard at night.....wait...."

#monsterdon

so the robot's dick is a tiny knob? that's so rude.

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

pachucos

https://duckduckgo.com/?t=ffab&q=pachucos&iax=images&ia=images

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

Discount Orson Welles has really groomed his goatee for this scene.

#monsterdon

so we had this huge backstory and Flora is still wearing that fabulous dress with the cross-over neckline and buttons?!?!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

WAIT! as am so bad with names, i missed that the criminal boss' name is THE BAT?!?!

LMAO

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

@Taweret@octodon.social I hope the notary got decent up-front pay

#monsterdon

raglan sleeves are totally underrated for women's clothes

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

You say “too many flashbacks”, I say “framing story”.

#Monsterdon #TheRobotVsTheAztecMummy #TooManyFlashbacks

@ShiitakeToast the mummy just threw a guy in a SNAKE PIT!!!!

we're still trying to figure out why he HAS a snake pit, but YOU"RE MISSING IT

#monsterdon

uh-OH is this the origin story of the cholo Dos Caras?!?!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

so we're being gaslighted. they cut out Las Luchadoras and re-shot most of the movie with these dudes instead.

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

First you get the decoder bracelet out of the crackerjack box. Then you rub it on the cursed Aztec breastplate and they'll send you an evil robot for only shipping and handling. #Monsterdon

They've got the same two thumbs up hat dude from Wrestling Women!

Proof that monsterdon is all about the funny hats!

#monsterdon #hatsofmonsterdon

I'm finding the lack of Mexican Wrestling Women in this Aztec mummy movie to be disconcerting.

#monsterdon

yeah, right, that blanquita was Xochitl.

OMG i cna see Mexicas cringing at this browface mess.

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

@bunnyhero Dood, it's waaay better than the one we just watched. Trust me.
Trust me.
Trust me.
Trust me.
Trust me.
Trust me.
Trust me.

#monsterdon

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!! HE MADE IT!!!

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

#monsterdon Angel has a glass jaw and a farty demeanor. I'm sure he's totally a superhero.

"I'll just climb out on this conveniently placed light fixture."

#monsterdon

Snek frens

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

LU-CHA!
LU-CHA!
LU-CHA!
LU-CHA!
LU-CHA!
LU-CHA!
LU-CHA!
LU-CHA!
LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBRE!!!!

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

The Aztec Mummy
The Curse of the Aztec Mummy
The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy
2 Aztec 2 Mummy
The Aztec Mummy: Tokyo Drift
#monsterdon #thecurseoftheaztecmummy

still the whitest Xotchil in the history of all the Xotchils, OMG

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

Jumping in here as a pallet-cleanser from the last film

#monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

more Ramón Gay and Rosita Arenas?!? is this the same movie but without the #whitesplaining

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

I want to literally feel like I am living in the Flashback, so I am going to see how long I can last through Curse of the Aztec Mummy. Maybe it'll be like watching Memento

Wish us luck

#monsterdon

This movie is what they were watching when they fell asleep in Wake Up, Litttle Suzy

#monsterdon

This guy was good, though :
#monsterdon

@blogdiva You missed THE WHOLE THING!!!!

No. No, you didn't.

#monsterdon

lol, VERY abrupt ending, no sea, but I am surprised so that's a classic Monsterdon ending in my book

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Robot! Mummy!

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Feels like everyone is humouring the Robot and pretending it's ferocious rather than pitiful

#monsterdon

he doesn't want the plate, just the breasts. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

@Violinknitter He's embarrased by his facial scars and doesn't want people to see him, so he's in the habit of holding his collar up around his face, which is totally subtle and no one ever notices or remembers him.

#monsterdon

a human robot! a human SLAVE! mwahahahahahahahahahahaha.

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

The Robot awakening scene is really dragging. Impressive lightbulbs though.

#monsterdon

Oh it's an ATOMIC Robot, of course. With a DEATH RAY

This is where all those cartoons got those ideas from, isn't it?

#monsterdon

DR. BAT is a #techbro. of course he wants robot slaves

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

now THIS is a robot!

#monsterdon

"Lead is the only material capable of resisting radiation"

RADIATION DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT

#monsterdon

Theory: One of the writers wanted this to be a police procedural and he bonked the other writer over the head with a flower pot and they are wrassling over the pencil. #Monsterdon

JESUS CHRIST
#monsterdon

2/3 through the movie... whre is the ROBOT???

#monsterdon

@JoeWynne @moira I think a recap could only be a few sentences, not whole scenes out of previous films. I see what they're doing here and it's not Art....but in a way it becomes Art for being so cheap

#monsterdon

WHERE IS THE ROBOT?!

#monsterdon

@moira a new record for Monsterdon?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Thyme! Rosemary! That bracelet! I want to touch them! Wooooo!

"Come Flora..............hurry it up a bit Flora...."

#monsterdon

The cemetery groundskeeper is doing a shit job. No wonder it's full of miscreants. Would it kill ya to tidy up those crosses? Add some posies? #monsterdon

@blackfinalboi This is #monsterdon we are always on the monster's side

So half this film is a narrative recapping some other film

#monsterdon

They just watched the Mummy kill that man, I hope he was a Healthcare CEO....

....oh wait, he's not dead....Chekov's secret door in the rattlesnake pit

#monsterdon

Wait, they're making us try to recall a previous, equally shitty film. Not fair!

#monsterdon

Oh man, a cross? They're throwing in the vampire angle again. lol

#monsterdon

The ratio of exposition to actual movie is quite something

#monsterdon

It turns out the original movie was the movie all along.

#monsterdon

Why would a cross hold off the "mummy"?

#monsterdon

@brooke The robot is waiting impatiently to be created. Just like the audience.

#monsterdon

¡¡¡LA MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMIA!!!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

Popoca would be more terrifying if he didn't sound like a tired cleaner sweeping the studio

#monsterdon

"But yeah, go ahead and desecrate my corpse for your 'theory', cheers"

#monsterdon