@brooke The robot is waiting impatiently to be created. Just like the audience.

#monsterdon

¡¡¡LA MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMIA!!!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

Popoca would be more terrifying if he didn't sound like a tired cleaner sweeping the studio

#monsterdon

"But yeah, go ahead and desecrate my corpse for your 'theory', cheers"

#monsterdon

Giving a disgraced priestess a breastplate with a map to treasure on it, standard stuff

#Monsterdon

This pilates class is next level.
#monsterdon

BTW seems like American audiences really didn't get enough of the Xotchil snuffing from the first moving.

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

Multi-instrumentalist action. And the vocalist! <chef's kiss>

#monsterdon

am loving that neckline on Flora's dress.

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

#monsterdon The english dub is amusing and funny. The pacing is a little off, like it's rushed. Lets just read this text and get on with it. hahahahaha

#monsterdon "Screen play by Alfedo Salazar"

We know who to blame

Poke him with a stick! That will help!

#monsterdon

i can't believe some of you are watching *another* aztec mummy movie (or maybe the same movie, in a way) #Monsterdon

When professors vehemently disagree

#monsterdon
#TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@hollie OSHA requires all death chambers to have properly maintained escape doors

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@moira https://xkcd.com/1403/

(sorry I'm on a roll now)

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@moira Look at him, twirling his beard, grinning like a madman

#monsterdon

the pyramid was a swingers club, wasn't it?

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

They have Dick Tracy watch phones?

#monsterdon

It may take a little something away from the gravity of the movie to have a superhero on speed dial

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@paco he might call tomorrow, or the next day though, it's a loose plan

#monsterdon

#monsterdon We're not going to hurt Flora, we're going to shoot her full of horse tranquilizers and make her do semaphore flag interpretive dance... whack... whack... whack...

honestly it's not the worst way I've ever heard a lab try to get funding

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@JoeWynne oh, so historical accuracy is your fault with this film? Interesting

#monsterdon

Funny to note now that the Aztecs did not mummify their dead.

#Monsterdon Double Feature
#CurseOfTheAztecMummy

he said she's gonna get it because she didn't finish the FAQ for the wiki

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

This is so disappointing...

#monsterdon
#TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@hollie Every ticket comes with a free lobotomy

#monsterdon

A flashback again

#monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

That kinda explains why the robot one was so bad. It was the flashback of the flashback of the flashback.

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe NO it's the SECOND film. The one we just watched is like the third?

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

OH FUCK ME THIS ONE'S FLASHBACKS TOO

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

This Aztec mummy movie has more wrestlers than the one with actual wrestlers in the title.

#monsterdon

so, WAIT!

who was the guy with the BLACK mask in the earlier movie?!?!

also, did you see how he had to time his move so the car wouldn't run over him?

OMG

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

"Men commit the most terrible crimes."

General. But true.

#monsterdon

I swear to god this series seems to have a unique ability to piss me off. First the Wrestling Women in which the Women do not Wrestle the mummy, and so it is not in any realistic way The Wrestling Women VERSUS the Aztec Mummy, and now the Robot vs The Aztec Mummy, which was less a movie and more a sort of

movie loaf

made of chunked and formed movie parts. #Monsterdon

@jsadow fabulous tombstone quote that...

#monsterdon

Stick around folks, in five minutes we hit play on Curse of the Aztec Mummy, which is maybe just the 43 minutes of recap footage we've already seen? Maybe this wasn't such a great idea after all. Well, I say that about hitting play on most Monsterdon movies.

5 minutes countdown!

#monsterdon

They've known where the breastplate and bracelet are for five years. Why didn't someone just photograph the symbols in order to decipher it?
#Monsterdon #RobotVsAztecMummy

44 minutes of previous film. Roughly. 20 minutes of new footage. Roughly. 15 minutes of spraypainted cardboard. Roughly. 64 minutes of brain assault. VERY roughly.

#monsterdon #TheRobotVsTheAztecMummy

AAAAAAAAAGGGHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAGHHH

#monsterdon

hahahahahaha perfection.
#Monsterdon

@amyfou I think they only invented robot knees in the 80s.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The end. All set. Plot actually did show up. Shocker.

and so the mummy fucked off somewhere and the film abruptly ended

ty for joining, everyone!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Lots of groaning and moaning. Okay, the sexual revolution is over, everyone out of bed!

So the robot-mummy fight starts with 3 minutes to go. Well, "starts".

#monsterdon

so this is a set up, so we'll cheer la momia, isn't it?

also, i like how la momia is looking super mexica.

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

turning a big dial that says 'Robot Kill' on it and constantly looking back at the audience for approval like a contestant on the price is right

#monsterdon

we are about to actually see "The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy"

#monsterdon

Apparently we are at some sort of climax somehow? What is even going ON in this movie???

#monsterdon

the guy with the black-rimmed glasses did what we say in Puerto Rico, LE LLENÓ LA CARA DE DE(D)OS

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

dude still covering his face in the middle of the night, like we're gonna see his horrifying pachuco two-face.

c'mon man

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

CPAP machines have gotten a lot more comfortable since 1958. #monsterdon

@diazona I started trying to riff on it and I was like, no, it's just the lamest guy in a suit, so lame they show his FACE to explain that it's actually.... a guy in a suit. 🤷‍♂️

#monsterdon

Dr Bat is what Elon thinks he is when he's in a ketamine bender. But he is not Dr Bat.

#monsterdon #ElonMusk

"I want to talk to the Police, urgent"

Try explaining this plot to them, and see if they listen

#monsterdon

"A human robot"

Behold, you have created one of the least useful form-factors for a robot!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon So we're getting this whole-ass mad scientist monologue from Dr. Krupp about how he managed to reanimate a dead human in a robot body; and in the first 45 minutes of the movie we were introduced to a *completely different* mechanism to also defy natural mortality..?

Just throw in a third reason for fun. Random lightning strike, insulted witch, alien technology hopping consciousness between parallel planes of existence. Just totally lean into it. Mortality is a skill issue.

I love how nobody ever gave robots knee joints for most of the 20th Century

#monsterdon

"I tortured many animals, with pleasure"

You pleasured them as torture? Dear fuck....

#monsterdon

how's your wife, the one i skullfucked only with my pasty white fingers?!?

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

@Taweret@octodon.social The mummy testifying to a court that he was just stopping some thieves

#monsterdon

So he's using the Breastplate to build an army of zombie cyborgs to take over the world?

Don't tell RFK Jr this plot....

#monsterdon

Pachuco Two-Face!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

Love the 20th Century way of somehow looking classy while holding a cigarette, dressed in a suit and talking bollocks about an Aztec Breastplate at a party.

Whoa, Edward getting some action with Flora now....seemed a little out of nowhere..

#monsterdon

A theft of a human brain, you say?

#Monsterdon #TheRobotVsTheAztecMummy

#monsterdon 22 minutes left and no robot yet. I suspect we can't do ANYTHING after all, huh? Mr. Edward, with the fancy haircut and the not-tripping-on-tipped-over-crucifixes.

Ha! The cemetery watchman voice-over is golden.

#monsterdon

I think I may have seen this film too many times at this point

#monsterdon

lol, the Watchman is back. Best character

#monsterdon

@jonny Polycules are a #monsterdon tradition!

@jsadow “How’s the motion picture?”
“Eh, it came with the frame.”

#Monsterdon

If you want to recreate the soundtrack #monsterdon

Interestingly, sufferers of PTSD tend to be high on the hypnotic susceptibility scale...and she was a human sacrifice in a past life. This explains everything.

#monsterdon

I really missed why that minion is always hiding his face, does he not want to be in this movie?

#monsterdon

you know this is a fantasy cuz Flora's gauze gown has not one wrinkle and her hair is totally on point.

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

This is me trying to follow this plot. #monsterdon

Seriously though, poor Flora, always getting mindjacked and abducted

#monsterdon

Flora's not available right now, but if you leave a message at the beep... #Monsterdon #RobotVsAztecMummy

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you always have a pit full of rattlers on hand.

#monsterdon

"I dragged the thing out as much as possible, but the moment arrived when I could stall no longer. I finished it."

That sounds like a good description of this movie. They dragged it out as long as possible with recaps from previous films and then finished it...and still ended up with a 1h3m feature.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon “Permit me to continue" -- we would rather not.

Mummy used acid spit. It was super effective.

#Monsterdon

"I dragged the thing out as much as possible..."

Well, yes

#monsterdon

i want that Luxor-like lamp right next to the settler colonialist

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

Is this a sequel? Because I feel like I'm listening to an audiobook #Monsterdon 🤖 #TheRobotVsTheAztecMummy

I'm still confused by the explosion, did the professor just have a bunch of dynamite on him?

#monsterdon

Mummies fear Jesus? Ironic. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon "...time passed rapidly..."

I can assure you it did not

Bury me wearing all my cursed jewelry

#monsterdon

Our "mummy" shows up around 17:40, which is way better than the last one we watched.

#monsterdon

@moira No! I demand robots!!!

#monsterdon

"We returned to desecrate the corpse one more time, in case of more gold"

Ah, Europeans abroad....

#monsterdon

it would actually be hilarious if the entire movie was flashbacks

#monsterdon

LMAO so whenever Flora talks, there's a voice over?

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy

It would be kinda fucked seeing your previous body exactly how you remembered dying in it.

#monsterdon

@diazona Technically there *was* a Nahuatl script, which I guess they *could* try calling hieroglyphics?

#monsterdon

@srol I was like, what, he's not gonna give them any credit for being smart enough to think of the dead-end? Racist.

#monsterdon

WTF?!?! was that EL SANTO?!?!

#Monsterdon #RobotvAztecMummy