Welp, no redeemable characters in this film, then.

#monsterdon

OH NO NOT AN UNUSUAL ROCK!! 😱

#Monsterdon

Sir, you have pronounced it "nassau" every time you have said it in the film so far. You are in no position to correct anyone. #monsterdon

#monsterdon Actually maybe they're space coconuts. I bet the Sheriff knows someone who could deal with those.

Hmm.

Maybe if you just found a buncha cattle dead in your pasture, ya might not want to try examining the mysterious rocks you found next to the bodies in the kitchen?

Surely you have a workshop, or a barn, or something?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I'm having a hard time believing that two farmers would be this fascinated by a few roughly spherical rocks. They've seen a river before, right? Surely?

(Aw look, li'l bébé space spider! There it goes)

well now we know it can cut plexiglass, now how about real glass?

#monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion #ᄽºὁȍ ‿ őὀºᄿ

"You never were any good with a tool." But he is a tool.
#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

NASA ain't a town in the Bahamas y'all #Monsterdon

was really hoping that chisel would slip and end up in his chest

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

"I can't tell what kind of critter done that."

I have a fairly good idea, given the title.

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

Sure, go ahead and fuck with whatever the hell you found in the kitchen. #monsterdon #teamspiders

These clowns have never seen a geode before? #monsterdon

Come on, spider, eat them...

#Monsterdon #GiantSpiderInvasion

WE HAVE SPIDER, I REPEAT, WE HAVE SPIDER

#monsterdon #ᄽºὁȍ ‿ őὀºᄿ

So, geodes are actually spider eggs?

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

tarantula in a geode! #monsterdon

List of men who should not be given large hammers or sharp objects: ThIS GUY #Monsterdon

I want her to bury the hammer in his head.
#Monsterdon

Did he say “a Limburger cheese smile”? #Monsterdon

hit him with the hammer

#monsterdon

Sheriff please button up your shirt. 😭

#monsterdon #ᄽºὁȍ ‿ őὀºᄿ

"ooh, prunes!"

#Monsterdon

@diazona Cleanse this movie with holy fire, dear spider gods. #Monsterdon

Forget dad jokes. Give me more Skipper jokes. #Monsterdon

@jammerb This film has more than it's fair share of overweight people

#monsterdon

if the spiders won't do it i'll eat this town myself #monsterdon

LIMBERGER CHEESE SMILE

What the fuck does that even mean?

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe I'm just holding out for the spiders

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

#monsterdon #thegiantspiderinvasion

Alright, Helga… keep your secrets.

Oh we have found the coolest pare of this dumb movie. Geode eggs laid by a giant spider. But I guess we'll get back to them
#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

Heavy date - the operative word is "heavy"

#monsterdon
#TheGiantSpiderInvasion

how long 'til their internal organs start melting, anyway? should be any moment now, right?

#monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion #ᄽºὁȍ ‿ őὀºᄿ

"I told you something landed here last night"

This is where we discover how lethal that radioactivity is right?

#Monsterdon

"i told you something landed here last night."
it was a theremin.

#monsterdon

Did that cow head make her fall due to its extreme gravitational attraction? #monsterdon

Sheriff Jones is the "Jolly Red Giant"?

You mean he's a communist?!?

#monsterdon

Look, if you wanted me to believe this is Wisconsin, give them long sleeves. Otherwise this reads Colorado to me. #monsterdon

These giant spiders are sure spinning their webs in some tight spaces

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

It's OK it's fine we'll just cut up these decaying chunks of cow into steaks and sell them to the cafe

Honestly the Space Spiders really should eat that guy first #Monsterdon

The spiders have taken a shining to our most valuable resource in America. BEEF. Truly horrifying #Monsterdon

Checkhov's Cobweb

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

Don't worry, inside-out meat is probably still delicious. #monsterdon

Someone saw The Godfather a few years prior to making this film. The horse head was a big hit, so why not a cow's head? Clearly a winning formula.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Rabbit Turds from Rice Krispies. The idiomatic expressions are idiotic.

I would seriously push this guy into the nearest abandoned well

#monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai always have been, always will be

#monsterdon

"It's against every known law of physics." So, it's basically illegal then? #monsterdon

Back to the tea I guess. #monsterdon

@jsadow it's been so done, like the MCU, and Star wars tv shows....

#monsterdon

#monsterdon That was a cows head. I love it. From silly pointless idomatic expressions that nobody uses at all, to tripping on grass. Lethal, dangerous, totally flat, lawn.

Oh, good. Finally someone comments on the radiation levels being dangerous.

#Monsterdon #GiantSpiderInvasion

I love how the writers went out of their way to show how mysogynistic this guy is.

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou What do you have against incest sex comedy?

#Monsterdon

That cow's front fell off. #monsterdon

Surprise decapitated cow's head!

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

OKAY WHICH GODFATHER DID YOU PISS OFF THIS TIME EARL

#monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion #ᄽºὁȍ ‿ őὀºᄿ

Good point.
Be careful, Spiders!
#monsterdon https://noc.social/@Zerofactorial/113660106780140411

The Doctor is a WOMAN 🙀🙀🙀 #Monsterdon

spi-DERS spi-DERS spi-DERS !!!!!!! #monsterdon

Wouldn't mind having one of those oscilloscopes ngl

#monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion #ᄽºὁȍ ‿ őὀºᄿ

Prop room must have had a special on oscilloscopes.

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

Come for the Giant Spider Invasion, stay for the Sexist Bro from NASA

#Monsterdon

What is UP with the geometry of this building? Up stairs, down stairs, all kids of decor, apparently there's an observatory SOMEWHERE in here... #Monsterdon

Just cut the dialog so we can see the itsy bitsy spider. #Monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai welp, go get the b53! --dad #Monsterdon

"and the barometer dropping like wall street" BOOOOOO #monsterdon

This is the most 1970s staircase ever built.

#monsterdon

The Doctor is a LADY???!!! #Monsterdon

Buckle up: sexism ahead.
#monsterdon

See I'm just super sexist
#monsterdon

Oh, I see, it's funny because she's a Doctor AND a woman, hah, hah, sigh.

#monsterdon

They're really dragging this joke out.

Turns out the scientist is actually her puppy.

#monsterdon

You see Dr. your appointment is with me, a woman

#monsterdon

It's misogyny all the way down, Doctor! #monsterdon

...Oh yeah. Creepy dude personally setting feminism back thirty years on film right here. #Monsterdon

Spiders? #monsterdon

I'm out of breath just watching him

#monsterdon

This lady is indoctranating innocent children into a secular *a giant spider bites my head off* #monsterdon

#monsterdon *yelling at the astronomer* DON'T POINT LASERS UP PLEASE I don't care if you think you see a drone

Why do so many of these movies have the astronomer expert also being the person who works the local planetarium?

Has there ever been a time when that was a job for experts?

#monsterdon

Back before the invention of elevators.

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

quaser why i hardly know

#monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion #ᄽºὁȍ ‿ őὀºᄿ

"Let me show you my conception of the beginning of the universe"

Big opening!

#monsterdon

"I've gotta keep up my strength for more 'revival.'"

#Monsterdon

Meanwhile our rapey side character eats breakfast with his bare hands, and we felt the need to include that. #monsterdon

*pulls up blanket and falls asleep in the planetarium*
#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

:bing: when did they legalize no-fault divorce

#Monsterdon

SCIENCE TIME

#monsterdon

I'm going to personally murder this man

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🕷️ 🕸️ 🕷️ 🕸️ 🕷️ 🕸️ 🕷️ 🕸️ 😱

I am also half metaphysics and half astrophysics i guess

Watching all those greasy 70s sets and people #monsterdon

Shut up dude, he's trying to sing The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald to you. #Monsterdon

The beauty of spider webs on a foggy morning.
Ruined by a phone call at dawn.
#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

Spiderwebs. It's a start.

#Monsterdon #GiantSpiderInvasion

these are not good enough actors to portray that sort of antagonism.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🕷️ 🕸️ 🕷️ 🕸️ 🕷️ 🕸️ 🕷️ 🕸️ 😱

I also want the horse picture hanging in their hallway - that might be one of those latch-hook rug kits?

Every human character in this movie is disgruntled.
#Monsterdon

ooh pretty thistle footage #monsterdon