Checkov's crystal switch.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

Back after another commercial break and my homeboy--the dubious 'good guy' of this movie, vs. our mad scientist, is testing a guillotine because they just keep trying to kill people in new ways and doing it differently every time?

THAT'S SCIENCE!

#Monsterdon

Oh, the guinea pig irony! And those monstrous overconfident men #Monsterdon

Cameo from Lydia Dietz #monsterdon #theasphyx

The guinea pig murdered that woman....

#Monsterdon

@trixter

Why are you opposed to science?

#Monsterdon

excellent pay off to the guinea pig tho

#monsterdon

They should name this movie, "Guinea Pig's Revenge".
#Monsterdon

And that's why we have OHSA regulations for science experiments
#monsterdon

#monsterdon

Damn it! Now we need a Monkey's Paw!!

Called it.

#Monsterdon

what if someone released MY asphyx and let me free of this movie.

#monsterdon

ok, that's so much better than how I thought the guinea pig would go

#monsterdon

A guinea-tine, if you will.

#Monsterdon

Her asphyx sounds so much nicer than the others

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Oopsie! #Monsterdon

I'd say you had A LOT to do with your daughters death, what with the guillotine...

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧐🏡🤵‍♂️ 💀 👻 🧴 😱

'release the blade, but very slowly! Allow this immortal guinea pig to gnaw through the water hose while this slow beheading occurs!

Whoops

#Monsterdon 👻 #TheAsphyx1972

This dude is really acting like someone you'd like to hang around with forever, huh?

#Monsterdon

Wait you can still kill the body. How is this immortality?
#monsterdon #theAsphex

the asphyx union is onto your bullshit, and they're going to make sure you fail.

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

The characters in this movie might be stupid y`all. Just some of the dumbest scientists ever.
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Chekhov's pig!!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Tis a far, far better sleep I go to.. BONK CHOP

Did they consider maybe NOT a guillotine?

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

"Nothing could possibly go wrong" That's when you run. #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Your father loves you and I love you.
Now lay down here for the guillotine.

#Monsterdon 👻 #TheAsphyx1972

Look, now. A guillotine is not the path I would choose to take if I wanted to scare up my asphyx.

“We’ve made sure that nothing can go wrong.”

She’ll be immortally headless.

#Monsterdon

that wasn't very cunningham of you

#Monsterdon

The Asphyx 2: Asphyx vs Tingler
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Because they're upper class, they probably won't have to explain this to the Police...

#Monsterdon

Checkov's guinea pig

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

WHAT!~? WHy aren't you going to do electricity again? WHY A GUILLOTINE!?!?1
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

what? how is a guillotine.. what??? #monsterdon

It's all fun and games until someone loses their head.

#monsterdon

can't you just immortalize them by, I don't know, writing a sonnet about them?!?

#monsterdon

Sir Hugo is very shouty.

#Monsterdon

Well his face healed pretty well
But his psychology is wrecked

#Monsterdon

Girl, RUN AWAY!!!

#Monsterdon

The Asphyx III: Guinea Pig in the City #monsterdon #theasphyx1972

(over actor)

#Monsterdon

side effects include irritability and facial scarring #Monsterdon

"I have made a great discovery! And I'm not going to tell you about it! Neener neener neener!"
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Editor's note, this is not a healthy way to deal with grief and loss 🙄
#monsterdon #theAsphex

@Lazarou

If I throw myself in front of the King's race horse, will it get women the vote AND us an end to this film?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The problem is a logical fallacy. One person has only one asphyx, but they never actually proved that, so we don't know if they are simply drawn to the dying, making what comes next either ghastly or ghastly-hilarious.

okay so we discovered everyone has their own death Muppet including guinea pigs and if you lock the muppet in a box and pour water on crystals you can live forever

#monsterdon

It's just as I suspected: immortality makes you really bitchy

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Alive. Alive, immortal, and permanently brain damaged.

#Monsterdon

Throw hot tea at him!
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon
sorry, immortality can make me a bit cranky

"It's wrong! None of us were meant to be immortal!"

Hey, you can just break the glass any time you want, and a good earthquake or supervolcano would probably do the trick eventually--

#Monsterdon

I think most people would get bored after a few hundred years and welcome oblivion.

"Release my ASS.....PHIX!"

#Monsterdon

her father's aspic. delicious.

#monsterdon #theasphyx

@strangefour The maid has been in a few previous scenes.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

Okay, so he's immortal. But will he age? Or will he just keep aging into a collapsing ball of sentient flesh and shattered bones 200 years from now?

What if in, IDK, 100 years he's hit by a car and smashed to bits? 🤔

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Oh, I missed it, but that was a cup of tea she dropped.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

oh now they're vampires ok #monsterdon

@apLundell matches the lye burns at least

#monsterdon

@Lazarou this guy could be a great astronaut in 100 years or so

#monsterdon

Let's go stab your father with a hot poker and watch him survive. Just for science though
#Monsterdon

"you mean you don't want to be with me for eternity?" what a gaslighter #monsterdon

Afraid of facing everlasting life? No. But with *you*? ...

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@Violinknitter

For all that work and expense, you'd think they could've afforded a screenwriter too.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

I see a flaw in your plan. It requires two people to carry that box down those stairs with a breakable glass thingie on top and if Checkhov's daughter hadn't shown up, you'd have been trying to carry his death muppet downstairs yourself.

#Monsterdon

omg this guy makes it all about him #monsterdon

"Giles, what you are doing?"
"Nothing, your dad asked me to watch while he electrified himself"
#monsterdon
#theasphyx

so if i fall asleep in a cozy coffin, and then have somebody wake me up in the morning, the people around me will believe i'm immortal? sweet, let me get building.

#monsterdon

Girl's gotta get the hell out of this place #monsterdon

I missed something, how did he get in the coffin bolted shut?

#Monsterdon

Release the undead guinea pig! Be freed!

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

“Then we have the evening together.” Bow-chicka-bow-wow.

#Monsterdon

he bolted him into his coffin? amazing.

#monsterdon

The sequel could be The Asphyx II: The Death Muppet in the Attic. #monsterdon #theasphyx1972

So far our mad scientist can build exactly what he needs on a moment's notice, and it totally works despite the audience not even getting half a plausible explanation. Meanwhile he completely ignores the obvious suffering he both exploits and causes.

Yep. That adds up.

#Monsterdon

@JoeWynne When the light is green, the trap is clean.

#Monsterdon

Y'know who's a better scientist than these guys? Anyone. Including Laszlo from _What We Do in the Shadows_.

But not RFK, Jr., who is not a scientist.

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

#Monsterdon🧐🏡🤵‍♂️ 💀 👻 🧴 😱

honestly, if my fiance had made my dad immortal without checking with me first that engagement would be off

@Taweret me neither

*looks up Tithonus*

ohhh

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx take your daughter to work day at the mad science lab

Better hope the EPA doesn't find out about their unlicensed apparition storage facility, sic Peck on them

#Monsterdon

Ah, what a fine alternate universe they're in, where combination locks can't be picked (or whatever the term is)

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

#monsterdon

Brad Pitt screaming "What's in the box??!!"

Electric chair for your death was a....choice.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧐🏡🤵‍♂️ 💀 👻 🧴 😱

bingo, iff doing that thing counted as 'a moment of courage'?

still no matching hats, sadly.

Eternity or until your water clock runs out, whichever comes first.
#monsterdon #theAsphex

@diazona WHAT'S IN THE BOX

#Monsterdon

"you need to promise"
"just do as I say!"

#monsterdon

I don't quite understand the muppet thing. If they catch it in a box at the time of death the person lives?

#Monsterdon

We've got a whole half-hour for him to fuck up immortality, let's go!

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

@Taweret the treatment has been tested on rodents, like eyeshadow!

#monsterdon

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

oh her name's Christina #monsterdon

"He's going to be alright."
Is immortality alright? Really? With this cursed method of obtaining it?
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

He's done #monsterdon

Oooh "I gotto absorb your beam into mine!"💋

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx_1972

"Why you desire immortality"?
"Duh, Giles, not dying would be awesome, dude!"
#monsterdon #theasphyx

god, that must be the worst electrocution ever, man's been getting zapped for like a full minute

#monsterdon

What do you call the process by which you're 'immortalized'?

....Asphyx-iation.

Ba-dum-tish.

#Monsterdon