I don't see any photographs of the murderers, Peter Parker.

#monsterdon

We photograph the dead!

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

Imagine how long it takes these people to get dressed every day? #monsterdon

@Taweret Make sure you have a driver who can tell the children of the night to leave you alone. Or at least provide orchestral accompaniment.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

These opening credits are trying to put us to sleep so they can just play 90 minutes of blank film and wake us up at the end

#Monsterdon

@ricci In #Monsterdon it's all sparkling WTF

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

I love how everyone is "revving their engines" in the comment section.
It would seem this evening's show will be a banger.
#Monsterdon

Um, that's a rather modern police car in a rather modern city. Where's my Victorian Steampunk?

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

And it's time! Go! Go! Go!

Gotta get the production company logo up there before anything else.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

@RachelThornSub Beat Takeshi was supposed to be inside the Take-Majin suit, but he wasn't cut out for monster suit acting so he only does the voice of the god with his face.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack

They shoulda captured his Assphix! (shakes head sorrowfully)

#monsterdon #WrongAsphyx

what's the third #monsterdon movie gonna be

@diazona If only we could fight Guilala with Matango.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack

#Monsterdon The military police in gas masks moved the reporters back a whole five meters or so. Now they'll be safe for sure!

I am suddenly awake at 5am because a thousand mocking laughs from across the sea somehow reached into my dreams and shook me.... something about a guinea pig? the dream fades. All is well... 😴

#Monsterdon

@ohiofi @aburka @diazona wow, Cate Blanchett! wonder why I never heard of it... will check it out #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Staff Officer KIMURA is played by Susumu KUROBE, who played Shin HAYATA, the handsome guy who transforms into Ultraman in the original Ultraman series.

@ohiofi @aburka @diazona thank you! was sure there must be others but couldn't think of any #monsterdon

this political clownin has a bit of a Dr Strangelove feel to it, huh?

#monsterdon #WrongAsphyx

#Monsterdon Both fake-Abe and fake Koizumi are played by comedians from the satirical sketch troupe, The Newspaper.

I'm still thinking about a plot point in tonight's movie, "release the guillotine blade BUT THEN stop it just before it cuts her head off, BUT not too soon because she has to really be afraid for her life"

How long would a guillotine blade take to drop, 1 second?

#Monsterdon

One thing hasn’t changed since 1967: White people all look the same to Japanese, and one is a good as any other, so they just pull random foreigners off the street and put them in movies and TV dramas. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Special effects by the Tokusatsu Kenkyūjo (Special Effects Research Center), founded in 1965. They have done the special effects for all the Masked Rider series, among many other projects.
The theme song, “cosmic mind,” is by the band Dev Parade, a band formed entirely of members who weigh more than 100 kilograms.

kek China is to blame.

#monsterdon #WrongAsphyx

Big thanks to @Taweret for the week's choice of film. I'd somehow never seen *any* of it before, which made tonight's viewing (and commentary) particularly fun.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

yeah those diplomats and politicians should go and bore the monster to death.

#monsterdon #WrongAsphyx

"Bad news from the immortality scientists - asphyxes are beginning to develop an immunity to Crystal Light™" #monsterdon

@moira life comes at you fast on Monsterdon... #Monsterdon

... and we've (poorly) set up for the auto accident at the start of the film! The End. Go home now, there's not really much in the way of credits and absolutely no post-credit teaser.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

@davesdogmaggie yeah, it took some time but it picked up and was pretty good. #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972 Thanks y'all. 🥲

@apLundell These crystals are so magical that they're uhm... ... causing nuclear fission maybe?

OOOOOHHHHH!

You just solved why that dude's face is melted after all that time. He kept getting exposed to the crystals and all that radiation.

#Monsterdon

That's what happens when you have a diplomatic meeting without your staff members

#monsterdon #WrongAsphyx

Yes, it is over! I'm free, I'm finally freeeeee!!!!!!

#monsterdon

This has to be one of the movies that I disliked most for plot reasons. This is an interesting premise, though balancing Men of Science(tm) vs tragedies of family and love can be hard. And this movie didn't manage it.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

@socketwench just a Guinea Pig looking up at Earth's death sun.... #Monsterdon

Really asphyxiating that was.

#Monsterdon

:mastodon:

Wouldn't the crystals in his phylactery eventually be consumed even if the water kept going?

#Monsterdon

Could we use the asphyx for faster than light communication?

Trap someone's asphyx, then send them to a remote location. Terminally injure them. Then the holder of the asphyx can carefully modulate how much light the asphyx receives. At the receiving end you record the pattern of agonal breaths as they start to die, then barely recover.

In this thesis I will

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Well, that was definitely a movie about some Victorian weirdos who just wanted to try out different ways to kill people. Also a Death Muppet. Goodnight #monsterdon, give thanks for our host @Taweret , and see y'all next week!

We get quick shots of bits of bloody Giles, but when we're looking at the whole lab, it's Giles free.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

@Terencio @Lazarou maybe the real asphyx was the blurry photographs we made along the way

#Monsterdon

Oh, there's the big kaboom!

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@CactuarJoe not the worst but the most fucked up.

#Monsterdon

@ricci he gave up too easily, what a loser! #Monsterdon

*vague gesture at The Mask story in The King in Yellow as an alternate take*

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

"well we should be covering the G8 summit, but let's go walking thru the woods instead."

#monsterdon #WrongAsphyx

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx ok so why does he look like leatherface in 1972 and what happened to him from the accident?

guess we'll never know

*gerbil fucks off into the sea*

good night everybody <3

And per usual: Who Blowed Up Better?

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

IT'S MIRU TIME!!!!

#monsterdon #WrongAsphyx

@Lazarou

Pity full. 🙄

#Monsterdon

:mastodon:

Even with immortality, he never saw England win a World Cup of Soccer.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx GERBIL INHERITS THE EARTH

Giles confronts the undead guinea pig.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

Why is he stupidly old, but the rodent is unaged?

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

i would be that if i needed to get through a steel door that was in my house protected by a combination lock, and it was the only thing that mattered to me and i had all of eternity to do it, i could probably get through it in two hours tops which includes the trip to the hardware store #monsterdon

Did not expect him to blow himself up lol

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

ok the last scene made it all worth it lmao #monsterdon

#monsterdon

This movie fucked off into incomprehensibility.

Well, ok

Thanks for hosting @Taweret

and to the #Monsterdon team!

Wait are you kidding lol #monsterdon

"My only friend." the guinea pig should bite him and run away

#Monsterdon

I had hopes that between the fiancee, the daughter, and the maidservant we were going to get a Bechdel pass but if we did I didn't notice it #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx *keeps building more and more elaborate deathtraps while adding a single safety at a time*

@apLundell You don't get to kill someone every day, they've got a whole bucket list of things they'd always wanted to try out!

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

SLOWLY release the blade?????? wtf

#monsterdon

RETURN OF THE UNDEAD GUINEA PIG!

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

Why are they doing a different method of death each time? Do they think the Asphyxes would learn a pattern or something? This is not a movie about a serial killer with inventive kills each time. This is about a really stupid mad science thing involving a dumb scientist.
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Why a guilotine? You shoud keep on the electric chair, that was safe... ish
#monsterdon #theasphyx

good thing they had plexiglass and bottled oxygen in 1875 #monsterdon

They came up with different ways of killing people in an attempt to make the movie more exciting?

#monsterdon

"MY ASS PHIX, MY ASS!"

#Monsterdon

why do we need a different method every time?

#monsterdon

written in the envelope is just FUCK YOU

#Monsterdon

The Asphyx

aka.

Guinea Pig's Revenge

#Monsterdon

I wasn't expecting such an explosive ending.

#monsterdon

nice twist

#Monsterdon

Fatalities: 2 men, 1 camera tripod

#monsterdon

I'm sure there will be no obvious difference between the blue and the white crystals, no one will notice and it's the perfect crime

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

The murder schemes are getting increasingly dopey #monsterdon

#monsterdon Heyyyyy, it's our tall french friend!

“I want only to atone”

Dude, all you had to do was LISTEN TO YOUR DAUGHTER and none of this would have happened

#Monsterdon

where did you even get a guillotine?

and why?

you already had the chair

#monsterdon

honestly, the guinea pig twist bumps this movie up at least 1 star

#Monsterdon

It’s getting Poe-ier and Poe-ier #Monsterdon

@strangefour Victorians were weird enough that I'd half expect they only had to chisel in the date of death.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

#monsterdon He's immortal, so we now have someone who can truly indulge their joy in Lawn Darts…

Rodent's REVENGE #Monsterdon

The Immortal Guinea Pig of Sabotage is the only redeeming feature of this film

#Monsterdon

She's now in the afterlife standing around with her dead brother talking about what a total dingus their father is

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

No, YOU'VE killed her, playa

#monsterdon

Weird, I guess the immortality didn't do a whole lot for his manners or humility. Shocker. #monsterdon

They weren't able to get ahead of the situation

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

whoopsie

LOL

#Monsterdon

"I now longer want my ass"

"RELEASE MY ASS!"

#Monsterdon

what in the wallace and gromit #monsterdon

This guillotine trick seems like a great idea. What could go wrong. #monsterdon

LMAO Revenge of the Guinea Pig

#monsterdon

ridiculous

#monsterdon

"Okay dad, and don't take this the wrong way, but HOLY SHIT." #monsterdon

You'll have immortal PTSD, dear. :D Because we love you. #monsterdon