Lights! Camera! Ass fix!

#theasphyx #monsterdon

"Now take the straps and fasten them. Across my thighs and across my chest."

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

Not having enough people to work the light and the box is the most avoidable "oversight" ever

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@Lazarou Tolkien Elf-style immortality is arguably the best kind.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

He cannot die. And we'll never inherit. Shit... #monsterdon

ugh, posh people talking to each other....it drains me....

#Monsterdon

An asphyx could be a sort of psychopomp; a Slavic version was called an 'upir', which is considered a linguistic predecessor of 'vampir'—I can't help but wonder if there's a version of the upir legend in which the psychopomp, having escorted the old soul out, gets tempted to possess the corpse….

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@binford2k #monsterdon

Well it establishes that the whole family is kinda weird.

like how do you even know what the death Muppet can and can't do? its a death muppet

#monsterdon

It’s coffin shaped!? #Monsterdon

If the experiment goes wrong you'll just be tried for murder. No biggie. #monsterdon

It could like, make investments in, I dunno, carrots, that pay of 100000% over hundreds off years and it could become the richest guinea pig in history and we could learn what the ramifications of that would be for guinea pig society

#Monsterdon

Sick Hugh Jackman is stealing the show

#Monsterdon

"There is nothing to fear" he said, being strapped into the Electric Chair

#Monsterdon

Here I will warm you between my breasts

#Monsterdon

@gblues lol "there can be only one!" #Monsterdon

@flowerpot

"helps the medicine go down"

#monsterdon

What form of death have I chosen?

Why Asphyxiation of course!

#Monsterdon

@wulfric #monsterdon

Plus he got to attack his wealthy tormentor.

'If you like Hammer Horror, but complained about all that cleavage, try "The Asphyx".'

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

It's God's will if it works and it's God's will if it doesn't work

More accurate church logic

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

"So either way it's God's fault and not mine! C'mon, let's go murder me! :D" #Monsterdon

Oh so it sounds like a guinea pig being tortured even if it's the ass-fix of a human? #monsterdon

Did the sick man realize what was going on? Is that why he threw the acid in the doctor’s face?

#Monsterdon

"Within my grasp to trap a man's ass....."

That's what I heard

#Monsterdon

Why was the dead guy given something caustic anyway?

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Oh, how cure, she's making friends with the cute undead hamster. And, she got bit.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

#monsterdon My name is Giles, and I have a problem with split ends. My hair? It's actually a tranquilized chinchilla.

Tuberculosis, not contagious at all

#Monsterdon

"We're doing weird things with guinea-pigs. And filming it!"

#monsterdon

Suffering with the extended cut - he has only just now asked for a guinea pig.

#monsterdon

MORE DILITHIUM CRYSTALS!!! #monsterdon

oh the science just went over my head must be my gender #monsterdon

You know it’s a British monster because it sounds like a teapot.

#Monsterdon

"That guinea pig can't die!"

Now THAT's Victorian science! #Monsterdon

#monsterdon We'll make a fortune on unkillable guinea pigs!

Muppet reaper is adorable :3 #Monsterdon

okay there is a rodent

now I'm interested again

#Monsterdon

The British Upper class love killing animals, this is very on form for them....

#Monsterdon

...Is there a Death of Guinea Pigs? #Monsterdon

is this movie going to go in a ghostbusters direction!?!?!? #monsterdon

Ok now look dead.

HAHHAHAHA. Stop no not that funny.
#monsterdon

"Good grief!"

The spirit of Lucy's football! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Yeah pulling on his legs will _definitely_ help him survive

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Ah another insert! Technobabble!

It smells pretty repugnant! It's some kind of Undoubted Acid?!

#monsterdon

It's called the Ghost Tingler, or sometimes referred to as the Asphyx.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

🎶 The Asphyx is a lonely child
who's waiting by the park
The Asphyx is in charge of finding
treasure in the dark🎶

#Monsterdon

I picked the right weekend to watch the new Frankenstein, this has elements of that.

#Monsterdon

"This isn't science!"

Hey, parapsychology is a totally legitimate science! Like cryptozoology! #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Fantastic.

I have seen some stupid deaths in movies... 🤦‍♂️😆

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

"Water is black as night" in a river? It's not the Thames, the water should not be that dark.

(also that looks more like a pond than a river)

#Monsterdon

LOL that was so realistic #monsterdon

Weirs are fucking dangerous though...

#Monsterdon

@jivens

Could have been Monty Python

#Monsterdon 👻 #TheAsphyx1972

@Terencio

They need to cover RObert Powell in goo and burn him alive first

#monsterdon

I was promised a Death Muppet in the trailer

I want the Death Muppet

#monsterdon

Keep filming!!!

#Monsterdon 👻 #TheAsphyx1972

If only they'd used the same camera for these shots...

#monsterdon

getting tired of watching rich people enjoy life, when does someone fall in the river

#Monsterdon

Chekhov’s smudge

#theasphyx #monsterdon

"I'm not very good at that, am I?"

uh oh, self-aware characters

#Monsterdon

This reminds me of when it looked like scientists had discovered neutrinos moving faster than light, except that it's analogous to the imaginary version of events everyone thought was happening, i.e. "hey everyone we found something physically impossible", instead of the version that actually happened, which was "our experiment probably screwed up and we don't know why"

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Mason, don't worry about your sister. (I'll take care of her)

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

March is not a good month for river shenanigans

#MOnsterdon

*Now* I get the thumbprint on the slide comment.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

"check your privilege" - these dudes, surprisingly

#Monsterdon

@georgieboy You people have souls? *confused kid meme voice*

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

The smudge is a hallucination put there by the AI post-processor.

#monsterdon

If the Asphyx is supposed to kill these people I hope it shows up soon. #monsterdon

I don't see any photographs of the murderers, Peter Parker.

#monsterdon

We photograph the dead!

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

Imagine how long it takes these people to get dressed every day? #monsterdon

@Taweret Make sure you have a driver who can tell the children of the night to leave you alone. Or at least provide orchestral accompaniment.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

These opening credits are trying to put us to sleep so they can just play 90 minutes of blank film and wake us up at the end

#Monsterdon

@ricci In #Monsterdon it's all sparkling WTF

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

I love how everyone is "revving their engines" in the comment section.
It would seem this evening's show will be a banger.
#Monsterdon

Um, that's a rather modern police car in a rather modern city. Where's my Victorian Steampunk?

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

And it's time! Go! Go! Go!

Gotta get the production company logo up there before anything else.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

@RachelThornSub Beat Takeshi was supposed to be inside the Take-Majin suit, but he wasn't cut out for monster suit acting so he only does the voice of the god with his face.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack

They shoulda captured his Assphix! (shakes head sorrowfully)

#monsterdon #WrongAsphyx

what's the third #monsterdon movie gonna be

@diazona If only we could fight Guilala with Matango.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack

#Monsterdon The military police in gas masks moved the reporters back a whole five meters or so. Now they'll be safe for sure!

I am suddenly awake at 5am because a thousand mocking laughs from across the sea somehow reached into my dreams and shook me.... something about a guinea pig? the dream fades. All is well... 😴

#Monsterdon

@ohiofi @aburka @diazona wow, Cate Blanchett! wonder why I never heard of it... will check it out #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Staff Officer KIMURA is played by Susumu KUROBE, who played Shin HAYATA, the handsome guy who transforms into Ultraman in the original Ultraman series.

@ohiofi @aburka @diazona thank you! was sure there must be others but couldn't think of any #monsterdon

this political clownin has a bit of a Dr Strangelove feel to it, huh?

#monsterdon #WrongAsphyx

#Monsterdon Both fake-Abe and fake Koizumi are played by comedians from the satirical sketch troupe, The Newspaper.

I'm still thinking about a plot point in tonight's movie, "release the guillotine blade BUT THEN stop it just before it cuts her head off, BUT not too soon because she has to really be afraid for her life"

How long would a guillotine blade take to drop, 1 second?

#Monsterdon

One thing hasn’t changed since 1967: White people all look the same to Japanese, and one is a good as any other, so they just pull random foreigners off the street and put them in movies and TV dramas. #Monsterdon

kek China is to blame.

#monsterdon #WrongAsphyx

Big thanks to @Taweret for the week's choice of film. I'd somehow never seen *any* of it before, which made tonight's viewing (and commentary) particularly fun.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

yeah those diplomats and politicians should go and bore the monster to death.

#monsterdon #WrongAsphyx

"Bad news from the immortality scientists - asphyxes are beginning to develop an immunity to Crystal Light™" #monsterdon

@moira life comes at you fast on Monsterdon... #Monsterdon

... and we've (poorly) set up for the auto accident at the start of the film! The End. Go home now, there's not really much in the way of credits and absolutely no post-credit teaser.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

@davesdogmaggie yeah, it took some time but it picked up and was pretty good. #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972 Thanks y'all. 🥲