I want to see an alternate cut of this with all the "-phyx"es removed #monsterdon #theasphyx

On second thought maybe she's thankful to be rid of Giles. She's probably already dating

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

some of you are ahead of me, but I see where this is going anyway.

"We've made sure that nothing can go wrong."

#FamousLastWords (hers, apparently)

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@jonny for scientists these guys are not really very into experimentation

#Monsterdon

Curious how you explain that to the coroner
#monsterdon

The wise guinea pig will put a stop to this nonsense #monsterdon

The daughter seems... unconvinced.

#Monsterdon

So despite having tested electrocution successfully they're switching to a guillotine? Yeah that'll end well. #monsterdon

they had no idea that being decapitated and immortal wouldn't have worked out, it could have just been fine, just stitch it back on #monsterdon

The Folgers challenge but for booster crystals #monsterdon

So, uhm... No one is ever going to... you know... investigate? Because I mean, that was actually murder. Like literal murder.

I wonder if you actually live to be 200 if they'll actually let you out after a 100 year sentence?

#Monsterdon

any mineral that blue feels either toxic or radioactive...

#Monsterdon

Why is he in a coffin instead of his bed? Oh - you were performing an experiment, seeing if he would suffocate (Asphyxiate! Ha, ha!) in the airtight coffin.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

@hollie *groan*

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

OK, so what do those crystals do anyway? I missed that plot point

#monsterdon

So, they put Hugo in a coffin to prove a point?
#monsterdon #theasphyx

The guinea pig is named "Hugo"?

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

By the way, this movie hasn’t passed the Bechdel test. Just FYI

#Monsterdon

“Right then. Back to science, shall we?”

#Monsterdon

Y'know, even in Victorian England I'm _pretty fucking sure_ cutting off your daughter's head with a home guillotine would've prompted _some_ sort of inquiry.

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Did they chisel her name in the sarcophagus when she was born, or did they rush a guy in today to do it?
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Her head is very neatly propped on her corpse. How nice.

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

You can't really blame the guinea pig for this, it was such a bananas idea from the start #monsterdon

@hollie SIR dingus #monsterdon

The monster of the movie is becoming more and more clear. #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

"I am not tired, merely impatient!"

You slept in an airtight coffin, motherfucker. This is not healthy behavior.

#Monsterdon

Well that's something EVERYONE could have predicted. #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

I'm sure you could've sewn her head back on and let her heal. She was immortal after all.

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Wait, I like the guinea pig too #monsterdon

why did we use a guillotine again instead of the chair we had already used successfully?

#monsterdon

The piggy knows. The piggy knows their crimes against the natural order must be stopped.

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

So, no one is concerned about the long term impact on the psyche of keeping the soul in a box indefinitely? #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

aaaaoooooohhhhhuuuuuhhhhhhhyyeeeeeuuuuuuggghoooooooeeeee #monsterdon #theasphyx

This is a smart idea...for those two idiots.
Na even for them this is dumb.
#Monsterdon

YESSSS the guinea pig is back lakdjflkadjlfkjldkfjlakjdlkfajdlkfjla

#Monsterdon

Of course she is afraid of living with you, creepy Giles, You watched her father toast.
#monsterdon
#theasphyx

So, uhm... If the guillotine works... Even if she becomes immortal, she's going to be a headless body or a bodyless head...

Or both?

#Monsterdon

OMG! The guinea pig is going to chew through the water hose.

#Monsterdon

Specifically and precisely explain your trauma, right now. #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

The combination was correct horse battery staple #monsterdon

Hang on, if the asphyx needs to sense your fear to appear than what about all the people who die while unconscious?

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx turning down research grants? definitely mad scientist

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory would like its soundtrack back #Monsterdon

And he was from then on known as Immortan Hugo!

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

I'm not interested in the next part.
#Monsterdon

"As a precaution..."

Right, this bloke is the living embodiment of caution

#monsterdon

This is a waste of a good guillotine.

#monsterdon #theasphyx

Before I tried to turn myself immortal, I'd do a few further tests. Like, do injuries heal, or are you just in pain forever? This is basic "forgot to ask for eternal youth" stuff.

#Monsterdon

Oh suuuure, we're dropping a guillotine on your neck but "nothing can go wrong"

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@jonny sweet romantic guillotine music #monsterdon

"I'll do whatever makes you happy, father"

"Christina you must TRY to understand what compels me!!"

Dude! You refused to tell her what you're doing or answer any of her questions!!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

I love a romantic guillotine scene.

Whoever designed death in this movie really should have learned something about fail-safe vs fail-secure systems

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Ah yes the soothing 'lay down on the guillotine' music #monsterdon #theasphyx

#Monsterdon🧐🏡🤵‍♂️ 💀 👻 🧴 😱

is her immortal self gonna have to tote her noggin around in a handbag then?

test it on giles first???? or don't change up the method to use a guillotine at the last second??? what the hell is going on with the music? #monsterdon

They’re gonna freaking guillotine her??? What the heck????

#Monsterdon

This family has a real fiancee fetish #Monsterdon

@Taweret Sure seems that way!

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

I have a bad feeling about this...
#monsterdon

Were décolleté outfits like that period correct? #Monsterdon

I regret they killed the only character I liked #monsterdon

I love that they're just going all "oh goodie, let's kill each other and become immortal now!"

I mean... Couldn't they just, you know, wait until later to kill each other even? Like why does it have to be right now?

#Monsterdon

yeah she's 100% gonna die

#monsterdon

"The asphyx must sense your fear!"

What about people who die in their sleep? or by surprise?

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

#Monsterdon But the guillotine plan was flawless! How could this have happened!?

seriously tho why they keep picking these awful ways to kick the bucket
#monsterdon

welp #monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧐🏡🤵‍♂️ 💀 👻 🧴 😱

ok this is truly a stupid idea

A guillotine?

what?

WAT!!?

#Monsterdon

This should have been titled "What could possibly go wrong: The Movie" #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

so she's gonna die right

#monsterdon

for the eternity? I doubt. Somewhere on time the place will be destroyed by someone build a trump tower or someshit like that, and that asphyx will be pissed.
#monsterdon #theasphyx

"You must allow me to immortalize you"
"But I'm scared--"
"Unless you overcome your fears there will be no marriage."

"I'll not allow you to force her into anything!"

I mean the scar was really superfluous, we knew who the mad scientist was all along.

#Monsterdon

“Beloved Anna” So now she is remembered #Monsterdon

Yes, but how long do they have to keep watering the asphyx crystals? #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

hell yeah time to decapitate some aristocrats
#monsterdon

#monsterdon

Guillotines, dungeons, strange crystals.. what doesn't this place contain?

He's had this in his collection since the Terror - it's his favourite souvenir!

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

They believe that the water source will last for eternity? Victorian infrastructure was apparently more sturdy than I assumed.

#Monsterdon

Christina isn't buying this whole "God's plan either way" bullshit.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Dumbasses.

#monsterdon

Why the rush? Get married, live a nice life, then pretend-kill yourself at 50 and become immortal. #monsterdon

Why didn't they just turn on the trap beam before switching on the electricity?

#Monsterdon

lol, this whole plan is mad....

...oh oh....immortal guinea pig!

#MOnsterdon

No I don't understand, I am a feeble woman. Kicks in shin. Knees in face. Runs off.
#Monsterdon

Saw that coming #monsterdon

The real ass-fix is that immortality turns you into an asshole.

#Monsterdon

Considering all the screaming that goes on when a man's asphyx appears, I think that guy deserves to undead himself.

#Monsterdon

The Doom Pig strikes! #monsterdon

yay hetero bullshit

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

Giles is really concerned about that inheritance

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

#monsterdon the Cunninghams really appreciate a good Leeever on their gizmos don't they

These are some convoluted contraptions.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

Chekhov's burnt lock combination.

#monsterdon

Guillotines were a common living room fashion accessory in Victorian times.

#monsterdon

oh that little scamp is getting revenge

#monsterdon

Great, a *slow* guillotine #monsterdon

"I'm too attached to my soul"
#monsterdon #theAsphex

wait wait wait, is this guinea pig about to have the ultimate in revenge? is this why we didn't get his spin off movie, because his part in this one wasn't done yet? amazing.

#monsterdon