#monsterdon

Guillotines, dungeons, strange crystals.. what doesn't this place contain?

a guillotine? WHAT COULD GO WRONG

#Monsterdon

He's had this in his collection since the Terror - it's his favourite souvenir!

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

They believe that the water source will last for eternity? Victorian infrastructure was apparently more sturdy than I assumed.

#Monsterdon

Christina isn't buying this whole "God's plan either way" bullshit.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Dumbasses.

#monsterdon

Why the rush? Get married, live a nice life, then pretend-kill yourself at 50 and become immortal. #monsterdon

Why didn't they just turn on the trap beam before switching on the electricity?

#Monsterdon

lol, this whole plan is mad....

...oh oh....immortal guinea pig!

#MOnsterdon

No I don't understand, I am a feeble woman. Kicks in shin. Knees in face. Runs off.
#Monsterdon

Saw that coming #monsterdon

The real ass-fix is that immortality turns you into an asshole.

#Monsterdon

Considering all the screaming that goes on when a man's asphyx appears, I think that guy deserves to undead himself.

#Monsterdon

The Doom Pig strikes! #monsterdon

yay hetero bullshit

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

Giles is really concerned about that inheritance

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

#monsterdon the Cunninghams really appreciate a good Leeever on their gizmos don't they

These are some convoluted contraptions.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

Chekhov's burnt lock combination.

#monsterdon

Guillotines were a common living room fashion accessory in Victorian times.

#monsterdon

oh that little scamp is getting revenge

#monsterdon

Great, a *slow* guillotine #monsterdon

"I'm too attached to my soul"
#monsterdon #theAsphex

wait wait wait, is this guinea pig about to have the ultimate in revenge? is this why we didn't get his spin off movie, because his part in this one wasn't done yet? amazing.

#monsterdon

can you reproduce when you're immortal?

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Chekov's rubber pipe

#Monsterdon

I wonder what they alive guy under the car is up to (yes I know, it's obvious)

#Monsterdon

That was a good idea - not putting handles on the heavy, unwieldly Asphyx containment unit.

#Monsterdon

My own... Personal... Asphyx.

#Monsterdon

So if he's in a coffin in the crypt... and his ass-fix is in a coffin shaped thing in the vault... I'm sorry I'm really fuzzy on how many subterranean storage facilities this house has. #monsterdon

"Darling, if you love me, step into the guillotine...."

Err, no

#Monsterdon

Lolwut. Is this how you make a vampire? #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

That Asphyx box is lighter than it looks

#Monsterdon

WTF. This is so dumb. So you don't have to die, just think you are?

#monsterdon

RE: https://sunny.garden/@steggy/115642101836925540

In case the electric chair malfunctions? #monsterdon

do you still have to shave and get a haircut when you're immortal?

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

I have no clue who this third man is

#Monsterdon

Clearly that electricity did no damage whatever, as you can see by how normal and stable I am!

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

I mean, he's immortal so long as the water pipe doesn't break.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

#Monsterdon🧐🏡🤵‍♂️ 💀 👻 🧴 😱

Sir Hugo is icky.

@yatsu Yeah the whole thing about being the one to control your own execution was only like the third weirdest part of that scene

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

"...if I tell you, you must promise to forget everything I say"
"Well, that kind of defeats the purpose, don't you think?"

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

With the extended cut, I'm only up to the thrilling furniture-moving scene.

#Monsterdon

@plaidtron3000 Yeah that's sus #monsterdon

What went wrong

what what was it

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

#monsterdon

I don't understand Victorian science.

@nev right? eternal life is a LONG time.

Some negotiation required for sure.

#monsterdon

where's the f-in monster #monsterdon

@brooke Right!! Bills for eternity. No thanks. #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

They should just tie up the father and lock him in with his asphyx and get married without him

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Um, why is there a guillotine?

#monsterdon

everlasting life? are they mormons??
#theasphyx #monsterdon

Don’t forget to water your soul, folks

#monsterdon #theasphyx

tbh even if I was absolutely 100% certain I had met the love of my life and wanted to be with them till death do us part, etc., if you were like "okay what about ETERNAL LIFE with them" I would be like "ehhhhh maybe not"

#Monsterdon

I like how he's come up with this elaborate plan to prevent himself from ever opening the combination lock that holds his asphyx.... like when you're tired of eternal life, too bad, you forgot the combination. The property is now under a parking lot....

#Monsterdon

You really need to plan for maintenance for such a finicky phylactery as this. N+1 redundancy is the bare minimum.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

I've got to absorb your beam into mine!

More romantic words were never spoken.

#monsterdon

@Zerofactorial theyre siblings, but Giles is adopted. Still gross.

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@Zerofactorial Giles was briefly introduced as "my adopted son". Yeah they were already pretty effed up before all the death Muppet stuff #Monsterdon

I think immortality through imprisoning one’s asphyx hasn’t been thought through very well. They’re not immune to aging or disease, not immune to pain.

#Monsterdon

It just occurred to me...could Sifl & Olly be asphyxes? #monsterdon #theasphyx

Alright, so... sleeping overnight in an airtight coffin that isn't properly sealed but is airtight anyway somehow so he suffocates and doesn't die doesn't hurt.

But a bit of sudden light is just so painful.

#Monsterdon

@nazokiyoubinbou @Violinknitter

Plausible. And it would be the most interesting thing about this film!!!!

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

#monsterdon

THis movie is a strange mix of The Hunger and Ghostbusters.

What further proof??? Sir, I’m not even sure I believe the coffin was really air tight. There are SO many variables we haven’t accounted for yet!

#Monsterdon

- Is he allright?
- well, he is smoking, that should be right.
#monsterdon #theasphyx

Oh, the smell of burning flesh in that room is going to be delightful.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx "but if we become immortal, how will we pay for eternal retirement?"

Where did that maid come from? Where have you been the last hour?
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@jonny Oh, I thought he was a relative that had caught tuberculosis or something #monsterdon

Why did he need to spend the night in a fastened coffin?

Where did they get the coffin on such short notice?

Why is Christine(a?) having to put up with two such Drama Queens???

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧐🏡🤵‍♂️ 💀 👻 🧴 😱

Oh. I just realized why the opening sequence with the car and the train is going to make sense. I mean, sort of.

"Hi, so, we'd like to kill you, but it's okay, we'll capture your death muppet and then you'll be immortal--"

#Monsterdon

The only reason I'm happier now than when the movie started is it's closer to the end. #monsterdon

i can only hope the costumes in this movie earned their creator work on a much better film.

#monsterdon

@ryan

"Maxphyxymum Overdrive"

This film needs more cocaine and Keith David

#Monsterdon

Why is he slipping in a coffin?
#monsterdon

WHY is his ass a DRACULA now??? #monsterdon

@Vanalope Indeed. What if this guy's asphyx goes into the piggie? #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

"That the experiment required two pairs of hands was an oversight that could have proven fatal!"

Ha, exactly. You're the sensible one of the bunch.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx yes, slowly zoom into this gorgeous lavender dress with black trim she's wearing

This movie is so slow I bet @_L1vY_ is getting a lot of work done, right now.
#Monsterdon

RE: https://lingo.lol/@amyfou/115642084927756443

Evergreen #Monsterdon post.

How does immortality work when your mortal shell has been chucked through a woodchipper? It's not like you also have mutant healing ability.

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@Zerofactorial i think the doctor adopted giles from the TB home? #monsterdon

There is no turning back!

Um, raises hand.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

Yeah, just happen to have this convenient dungeon down here..

#Monsterdon🧐🏡🤵‍♂️ 💀 👻 🧴 😱

the heck?

5 seconds of giles POV and then they got bored of that technique #monsterdon

Both Giles and Christina are named Cunningham, are they related by blood? I'm mixed up #monsterdon

Funny that Jesus wants to be immortal.

#Monsterdon

Science my asphyx. #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

@diazona It really was a weird decision. We could all see it coming from a mile away.

#Monsterdon

You barely managed with two of you! Get more accomplices next time!

This is clearly your first attempt, jeez.

#Monsterdon

Can't die but like, brain damage? Hello? #monsterdon

GOOD morning good morning good morning

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

These “monsters” remind me of Star Trek Voyager episode Equinox.

#Monsterdon

I've created an electro-stym chair!

And am slightly aroused.

#monsterdon

Tell curly nightmare about your worries my lamb. Nothing to fear from him at all.
#Monsterdon

Small domesticated rodents are famous for how well they adapt to being sent out into the wild.

#Monsterdon