I didn't realize you all were all in for the double feature, so I closed the tab. Not sure I could've endured it anyway.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Huh, I didn't notice I'd gotten a Bingo. Probably because I wasn't expecting Ceremony to get filled.

#Monsterdon

So far no one is voting to get ass-phyxed. I can’t imagine why! #Monsterdon

@jonny @Taweret @SnoopJ Maybe the asphyx dances because it just can't help it #monsterdon

This might be the movie with the most languages Monsterdon has seen. Definitely the most languages with more than a single line of 6+ languages.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack

i need to clip this entire g8 meeting scene i am fuckin losing it #monsterdon

I’m not going to pretend I understood the ending with the car crash. #Monsterdon

Anyway that's another movie launched into space, too bad the guinea pig will keep living without air and food and let me tell you do you have any idea how hungry you get when you can't die? Regardless, it's not our problem anymore. Good job, team, and thanks as always to @Taweret for hosting!

#monsterdon #theasphyx

His son dies and he wants immortality. His daughter dies and continued existence is unbearable. What's up with that?

#Monsterdon

Oh, and hanging with an extra leg tug. Almost forgot that one.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

“my eternal and everlasting friend” - at least the guinea pig gets the acknowledgment it deserves #Monsterdon

WHAT IS #MONSTERDON ?

We just don't know.

Oh there's a guy! The white haired general guy is the original Ultraman
https://ultra.fandom.com/wiki/Susumu_Kurobe
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack

Still gave it a higher rating than any recent #monsterdon movie I've seen as far back as The Creature from the Black Lagoon last summer

Stock footage! Well this movie has a super tight budget. Monster X will not have any new footage destroying buildings I bet.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack

@nazokiyoubinbou

So, if the guinea pig gets run over by a car, does it get physically smooshed and then reconstitute itself? Or does it become a rodent-of-steel speed bump that the car bounces over? I have questions! What if a cat eats it? Does the cat poop it out whole and alive?

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Ah, I get it! That's for the sequel!

@YsengrinWolf he didnt get the "death becomes her" warning obvs #theasphyx #monsterdon

Thank you to @Taweret for hosting and @cherizilla for the bingo card!

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@Taweret @jonny @SnoopJ And if I were to witness it voguing while emitting horrible sounds I would prefer to be left out of any experiments #monsterdon

After an hour and a half focused on #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx I was kinda hoping to tune back into the TL and see some good obituary news, but alas 🤷‍♂️

More sour-grapes trying to console us against having to have to die, maybe not as obnoxious as the ones associated with trying to make us accept not all being rich and free…but still, to this immortalist, objectionable.

#Monsterdon
#TheAsphyx

@cainmark @moira @north OMGGGGG

and paint! there was a whole green room in this movie! #monsterdon #theasphyx

Well, that was terrible. Truly awful.

An amazing #Monsterdon

No space ships or lunar disco bar this time. Guilala crashes in with the opening titles like 10 minutes in.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack

well, finally over. This one was a looong one, gee
#monsterdon #theasphyx

the G8 meeting in this movie is incredible, @ryan is it possible to download from the stream? #monsterdon

Hanako the toilet ghost eats that guy. That's my bet.
#Monsterdon

OK, what's the story with the cars barreling towards one another at the end?

#monsterdon

@emily_rugburn @moira @north

Including book covers. #Monsterdon

If I had watched this on my own, I would've regretted an hour and a half of my one wild and precious life that I can never get back. But with all of you lovely weirdos, it was time well spent 😊

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Poop joke already?
#Monsterdon

@jonny I agree, many missed opportunities to make something really worth watching #monsterdon

"sorry, my stomach gurgles every time I lie...."

#monsterdon #WrongAsphyx

@moira @north anything green is most likely made with arsenic during that time. so yeah, EVERYTHING is a murder contraption.
#monsterdon #theasphyx

Won't he end up dying if he forgets to pay his water bill?

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

I feel like this is gonna be the kind of movie that inclused alot of cameos by old tokusatsu actors. Maybe I'll notice a couple, but I feel like they are gonna be obscure or really old.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack

So, Hugo didn't realise that he would age, but never die? Well, dang!

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

#Monsterdon🧐🏡🤵‍♂️ 💀 👻 🧴 😱

as always, that was weird and thank you @Taweret for hosting, @cherizilla for bingo, @JoeWynne for trivia and ALL you beautiful #Monsterdonians for making it fun.

Plus, immortal guinea pigs ftw!

What strange motivations in that movie. The main guy (at no point did I learn his name) was shown to be especially kind and loving at the beginning: was that so his pursuit of immortality would strip away that kindness? Nah, he was a dick as soon as he saw a ghost photo

Was Giles reluctantly drawn into this pursuit so he could marry Christina, eventually descending into the same madness? Nah, he was on board right away for no apparent reason

#Monsterdon

On #letterboxd I gave this a mediocre grade because of the poor project management by the principal character and an oh-so-serious tone that I though could have been lightened a bit. Two and a half stars #monsterdon

Thanks for spoiling the end of the movie ancient temple sculpture.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack

"Everything tastes like Giles now!"

#Monsterdon

Yes please to this whatever it is
#Monsterdon

I dunno why, but sometimes when a foreign movie starts out with wandering in a forest I half expect it to turn into a porno at any second. I dunno why. I must have seen some 70s monster movie that turned into softcore or something? It's a mystery but none the less a recurring feeling.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack

@wohali @Taweret @JoeWynne @cherizilla This thing never ends. 4 minutes to go here.
#monsterdon
#theasphyx

man, there are people on IMDB who gave this movie like 7 and 8 out of 10. like... what movie did /they/ watch?

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Honestly, I expected better. Sure, lots of experiment gone wrong scenes, but I thought there'd be more Invisible Man styled madman action.

alright i am intrigued by the miru stream this week #monsterdon

Ok I'm too sore to anything so I'm sticking about for the double bill.
#Monsterdon

HAHAHA, this IS a Lich movie!

#Monsterdon

Well at least they didn’t fuck off into the sea this time #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

You know what would be worse than spending an eternity with an immortal guinnea pig? Spending eternity watching this movie.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Ok, he looks like shit on a shingle but that guinea pig is FINE XD

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Ah, well that answers my question about whether he ages in immortality....

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

all those victorian british movies are boring because they have exactly three sets: fancy house, grassy creek/field, marble government/official building #monsterdon

@moira YEAH. Like, at that point they deserved it. Why would you let your inner Saw trap designer out for THIS one??? #Monsterdon

Wow so your face keeps aging or something when you're immortal that sucks.

Nice Asphyx though

THE END

At least the Guinea Pig kicked ass. Thanks for the Dickensian #Monsterdon @Taweret it was fun!

Was it bad? Sure, but most of the stuff we indulge in is, one way or another.

It's biggest crime was just being dull, which is expected of British "horror" films.

It also had weird pacing, lacked imagination and had several significant internal inconsistencies.

But that's what we signed up for, right?

Night all! Thanks @Taweret

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Okay, I take it back. That was kinda actually science.

#Monsterdon

Good times at the old #monsterdon. I think the guillotine was my favorite death method

I missed the part where they established that, oh-so-romantic, there is one and only one asphyx for each person, so it's not like the next time you're at the point of death another one can show-up and get you.

#Monsterdon
#TheAsphyx

I feel like the worse the movie, the more I struggle to remember the character names. I've pretty much made it through this entire thing saying "him" and "he".

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

And now he's everlasting road kill. What a stinker. Thank @Taweret for hosting! Have a great week Beautiful Mutants. Good luck getting the taste of that one out of your brain. #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@jonny Especially if you're already okay with blowing things up

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

And what did we learn today?
Leave the guinea pig alone.

Thank you, @Taweret for hosting!
#Monsterdon

NOICE

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx i keep my asphyx down with the amontillado

Is the same guy protesting that he couldn't zap his boss the same one trying to talk the daughter into the same madness?

#Monsterdon

Did he pay two drivers to race headlong into each other, while he stood between them? Because that's a really improbable “accident.”

#Monsterdon

He tampered with the 'death crystals' so this should be interesting...

#Monsterdon

@paco I suppose there's some symbolism in the black car white car thing. #Monsterdon

Wait. I thought it was the tubercular guy in the car crash? #Monsterdon

Very far from the worst ever, thanks as always @Taweret

#monsterdon

who was it talking about Tithonos before, you called it

#Monsterdon

WHy did the two cars crash into him?
IS THE GUINEA PIG FINE!?
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

He looks like shit but the guinea pig looks GREAT!
#monsterdon

Gleeeeeeeeennnnnn-daaaaaaaaaale! [shakes fist]

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Oh, let's kill ourselves via a third method, to add the aspect of randomness to this Science that is so characteristic of its true nature.

#Monsterdon

ok, I guess I know how the opening worked now at least

#monsterdon

@jonny@neuromatch.social it was supposed to be the combination of the crypt so we could release his asterix and die #monsterdon #theAsphex

And, of course, we put he prettied-up, decapitated corpse in a glass-topped coffin. To make Giles feel better.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

Oh, so this was a prequel to Ben (1972)

#Monsterdon

piggy aged a lot better than our protagonist did #monsterdon

He never opened Giles’s letter, but had he done so, he would have found it to say, “LOL! Suck it!”

#Monsterdon

Why is he wearing a potato skin on his face?
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

This movie had potential in the first ten minutes or so, and it was completely squandered #Monsterdon

It's your 1972 Razzie winner for Worst Makeup!

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

MY ASS FIX

MY ASS FIX

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

hope he never forgets to pay the water bill
#monsterdon

Guinea pig lives! LIVES FOREVER!
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

#1 adopted son is blown to smithereens, but pops somehow is not only alive (expected), but unscathed (inconceivable.)

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

I stand corrected. After a huge explosion that he was practically dead center in, one sleeve has a bit of scorching and a small tear.

#Monsterdon

what was in the envelope??? #monsterdon

"You can't kill me, Guiles. Nobody can kill me. Ever."

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

The Cunningham line must continue. Happy Days!

#Monsterdon

Kind of a shame Giles didn't manage to blow up the asphyx vault while he was at it

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Me: "Apparently, there's a guillotine."

Mr. Blue: "That's not good!"

#Monsterdon

Ooooohhhhh thanks for the clarification Bob #monsterdon #theasphyx

Technically speaking, he didn't kill him, he killed himself (such pronouns)

#monsterdon

That was a most pathetic, “I’ve killed you. I’ve killed you, too.”

#Monsterdon