Anyway that's another movie launched into space, too bad the guinea pig will keep living without air and food and let me tell you do you have any idea how hungry you get when you can't die? Regardless, it's not our problem anymore. Good job, team, and thanks as always to @Taweret for hosting!
His son dies and he wants immortality. His daughter dies and continued existence is unbearable. What's up with that?
Oh, and hanging with an extra leg tug. Almost forgot that one.
βmy eternal and everlasting friendβ - at least the guinea pig gets the acknowledgment it deserves #Monsterdon
WHAT IS #MONSTERDON ?
We just don't know.
No coffee, but we did have smoking!
Really bad old age makeup.
Immortal guinea pig. Bow down before them.
Giles flambe. Decapitation, Death by drowning (and being sucked over the weir) and by branch-to-the-head-bonk. And tuberculosis.
Oh there's a guy! The white haired general guy is the original Ultraman
https://ultra.fandom.com/wiki/Susumu_Kurobe
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack
Still gave it a higher rating than any recent #monsterdon movie I've seen as far back as The Creature from the Black Lagoon last summer
I made it! I'm free of the Asphyx! AHAHAHAAAA ππ₯πͺ¦
(Big thanks to @Taweret for hosting these madcap adventures and all of #Monsterdon for making it hilarious.)
Film summary clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4ofaP4rDxY
Stock footage! Well this movie has a super tight budget. Monster X will not have any new footage destroying buildings I bet.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack
So, if the guinea pig gets run over by a car, does it get physically smooshed and then reconstitute itself? Or does it become a rodent-of-steel speed bump that the car bounces over? I have questions! What if a cat eats it? Does the cat poop it out whole and alive?
Ah, I get it! That's for the sequel!
@YsengrinWolf he didnt get the "death becomes her" warning obvs #theasphyx #monsterdon
Thank you to @Taweret for hosting and @cherizilla for the bingo card!
@Taweret @jonny @SnoopJ And if I were to witness it voguing while emitting horrible sounds I would prefer to be left out of any experiments #monsterdon
After an hour and a half focused on #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx I was kinda hoping to tune back into the TL and see some good obituary news, but alas π€·ββοΈ
More sour-grapes trying to console us against having to have to die, maybe not as obnoxious as the ones associated with trying to make us accept not all being rich and freeβ¦but still, to this immortalist, objectionable.
@cainmark @moira @north OMGGGGG
and paint! there was a whole green room in this movie! #monsterdon #theasphyx
No space ships or lunar disco bar this time. Guilala crashes in with the opening titles like 10 minutes in.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack
Well, that was terrible. Truly awful.
An amazing #Monsterdon
well, finally over. This one was a looong one, gee
#monsterdon #theasphyx
the G8 meeting in this movie is incredible, @ryan is it possible to download from the stream? #monsterdon
Hanako the toilet ghost eats that guy. That's my bet.
#Monsterdon
OK, what's the story with the cars barreling towards one another at the end?
Another #Monsterdon is in the can!
Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!
Tonight's feature, #TheAsphyx, from 1972, might have also been called The Ghost Tingler. It might have been a lot of things, but what we got was,
Mystery smudges!Death by tree bonking!Asphyx trapping!Immortal guinea pig!Victorian electric chair!Immortan Hugo!Guillotine games!Guinea pig sabotage!Crystal sabotage!DIY gas chamber!Big kaboom!Chekhov's car crash!
Including book covers. #Monsterdon
If I had watched this on my own, I would've regretted an hour and a half of my one wild and precious life that I can never get back. But with all of you lovely weirdos, it was time well spent π
I'd watch a sequel with the guinea pig. In space, 5000 years in the future. Think of all it would have learned!
Poop joke already?
#Monsterdon
@jonny I agree, many missed opportunities to make something really worth watching #monsterdon
#monsterdon Thank you @Taweret! We get a lovely movie, a mix of needlessly complicated killings, a Dorian Grey/Dracula mashup, and a little nod of the hat from M. Night Shamalama-ding-dong. :) What a twist!
"sorry, my stomach gurgles every time I lie...."
@moira @north anything green is most likely made with arsenic during that time. so yeah, EVERYTHING is a murder contraption.
#monsterdon #theasphyx
Won't he end up dying if he forgets to pay his water bill?
I feel like this is gonna be the kind of movie that inclused alot of cameos by old tokusatsu actors. Maybe I'll notice a couple, but I feel like they are gonna be obscure or really old.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack
So, Hugo didn't realise that he would age, but never die? Well, dang!
#Monsterdonπ§π‘π€΅ββοΈ π π» 𧴠π±
as always, that was weird and thank you @Taweret for hosting, @cherizilla for bingo, @JoeWynne for trivia and ALL you beautiful #Monsterdonians for making it fun.
Plus, immortal guinea pigs ftw!
What strange motivations in that movie. The main guy (at no point did I learn his name) was shown to be especially kind and loving at the beginning: was that so his pursuit of immortality would strip away that kindness? Nah, he was a dick as soon as he saw a ghost photo
Was Giles reluctantly drawn into this pursuit so he could marry Christina, eventually descending into the same madness? Nah, he was on board right away for no apparent reason
We get quick shots of bits of bloody Giles, but when we're looking at the whole lab, it's Giles free.
On #letterboxd I gave this a mediocre grade because of the poor project management by the principal character and an oh-so-serious tone that I though could have been lightened a bit. Two and a half stars #monsterdon
Thanks for spoiling the end of the movie ancient temple sculpture.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack
"Everything tastes like Giles now!"
Yes please to this whatever it is
#Monsterdon
I dunno why, but sometimes when a foreign movie starts out with wandering in a forest I half expect it to turn into a porno at any second. I dunno why. I must have seen some 70s monster movie that turned into softcore or something? It's a mystery but none the less a recurring feeling.
#Monsterdon #MonsterXStrikesBack
new challenge. we must all learn to do this dance.
@wohali @Taweret @JoeWynne @cherizilla This thing never ends. 4 minutes to go here.
#monsterdon
#theasphyx
man, there are people on IMDB who gave this movie like 7 and 8 out of 10. like... what movie did /they/ watch?
"well we should be covering the G8 summit, but let's go walking thru the woods instead."
Honestly, I expected better. Sure, lots of experiment gone wrong scenes, but I thought there'd be more Invisible Man styled madman action.
alright i am intrigued by the miru stream this week #monsterdon
Ok I'm too sore to anything so I'm sticking about for the double bill.
#Monsterdon
HAHAHA, this IS a Lich movie!
Well at least they didnβt fuck off into the sea this time #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx
You know what would be worse than spending an eternity with an immortal guinnea pig? Spending eternity watching this movie.
Ok, he looks like shit on a shingle but that guinea pig is FINE XD
i wonder if asphyxes would've gotten smarter over the years if this technique had been perfected #monsterdon
Ah, well that answers my question about whether he ages in immortality....
all those victorian british movies are boring because they have exactly three sets: fancy house, grassy creek/field, marble government/official building #monsterdon
@moira YEAH. Like, at that point they deserved it. Why would you let your inner Saw trap designer out for THIS one??? #Monsterdon
Wow so your face keeps aging or something when you're immortal that sucks.
Nice Asphyx though
THE END
At least the Guinea Pig kicked ass. Thanks for the Dickensian #Monsterdon @Taweret it was fun!
Was it bad? Sure, but most of the stuff we indulge in is, one way or another.
It's biggest crime was just being dull, which is expected of British "horror" films.
It also had weird pacing, lacked imagination and had several significant internal inconsistencies.
But that's what we signed up for, right?
Night all! Thanks @Taweret
Okay, I take it back. That was kinda actually science.
Good times at the old #monsterdon. I think the guillotine was my favorite death method
I missed the part where they established that, oh-so-romantic, there is one and only one asphyx for each person, so it's not like the next time you're at the point of death another one can show-up and get you.
I feel like the worse the movie, the more I struggle to remember the character names. I've pretty much made it through this entire thing saying "him" and "he".
And now he's everlasting road kill. What a stinker. Thank @Taweret for hosting! Have a great week Beautiful Mutants. Good luck getting the taste of that one out of your brain. #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx
@jonny Especially if you're already okay with blowing things up
And what did we learn today?
Leave the guinea pig alone.
Thank you, @Taweret for hosting!
#Monsterdon
NOICE
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx i keep my asphyx down with the amontillado
Is the same guy protesting that he couldn't zap his boss the same one trying to talk the daughter into the same madness?
Well that was a real squeaker of a film
(Honestly though, the variety of deaths was kind of impressive)
Thanks everyone for the laughs! Thanks to @Taweret for hosting! :)
SMUDGE YA LATER
Did he pay two drivers to race headlong into each other, while he stood between them? Because that's a really improbable βaccident.β
He tampered with the 'death crystals' so this should be interesting...
@paco I suppose there's some symbolism in the black car white car thing. #Monsterdon
Wait. I thought it was the tubercular guy in the car crash? #Monsterdon
i would be that if i needed to get through a steel door that was in my house protected by a combination lock, and it was the only thing that mattered to me and i had all of eternity to do it, i could probably get through it in two hours tops which includes the trip to the hardware store #monsterdon
Best. Ending. Ever!
Very far from the worst ever, thanks as always @Taweret
who was it talking about Tithonos before, you called it
WHy did the two cars crash into him?
IS THE GUINEA PIG FINE!?
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx
He looks like shit but the guinea pig looks GREAT!
#monsterdon
Gleeeeeeeeennnnnn-daaaaaaaaaale! [shakes fist]
Oh, let's kill ourselves via a third method, to add the aspect of randomness to this Science that is so characteristic of its true nature.
ok, I guess I know how the opening worked now at least
@jonny@neuromatch.social it was supposed to be the combination of the crypt so we could release his asterix and die #monsterdon #theAsphex
And, of course, we put he prettied-up, decapitated corpse in a glass-topped coffin. To make Giles feel better.
Oh, so this was a prequel to Ben (1972)
piggy aged a lot better than our protagonist did #monsterdon
He never opened Gilesβs letter, but had he done so, he would have found it to say, βLOL! Suck it!β
Why is he wearing a potato skin on his face?
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx
This movie had potential in the first ten minutes or so, and it was completely squandered #Monsterdon
It's your 1972 Razzie winner for Worst Makeup!
hope he never forgets to pay the water bill
#monsterdon
The guinea pig went to America where better science was conducted.
Guinea pig lives! LIVES FOREVER!
#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx
I had hopes that between the fiancee, the daughter, and the maidservant we were going to get a Bechdel pass but if we did I didn't notice it #monsterdon
#1 adopted son is blown to smithereens, but pops somehow is not only alive (expected), but unscathed (inconceivable.)
I stand corrected. After a huge explosion that he was practically dead center in, one sleeve has a bit of scorching and a small tear.