Ah, the old wrap a tentacle around yourself trick.

#Monsterdon

MR-1 in DUB

#Monsterdon

Every time he says Irish -- I want to sic Devil Girl on him.

#Monsterdon

Community mind? You mean like Liberals and Communists?

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Feed me Seymore!

Observation: nothing's happening

Conclusion: hive mind

#Monsterdon

"Community mind?"

Yeah, at the rec center. Next to the tool library. #Monsterdon

@bunnyhero @Lazarou
I'm like 20 minutes behind when I saw everyone's comments and wondered how bad it was for Iris, and WOW, just WOW this is bad!

I wouldn't be surprised if this story is about how the Martians are female, and based on Iris' treatment, decided to slap the men around for justice. 😆

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

#monsterdon Okay, she’s romancing the tentacle. Feed me, Seymour!

That plant creature is sexist, that's all #monsterdon

i think iris and the colonel are planning to murder Sam. what the heck was that exchange of looks?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon On Burning Siena Golden Pond!

"any swash I had just came unbuckled" is a metaphor for sh**ting yourself

#monsterdon

The Colonel sits like the worst male boss you've had.

#Monsterdon

Audrey II moved to Mars

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

#Monsterdon Iris is getting felt up by everyone on this journey. I wouldn't want to remember either.

@Lazarou this movie does love its annoying sounds #monsterdon

I'm wearing my 3D glasses from Creature of the Black Lagoon and I can't see shit.
#monsterdon

Hold up Tom, you're ripping the felt. We gotta use this model again. #Monsterdon

It's easy, just don't wrap yourself up in the tentacles

#Monsterdon

I appreciate that they built a giant plant but this filter is ruining the whole thing

#monsterdon

I want every single one of these people to shut up. Or break into a musical number, because the being smug isn't working. #Monsterdon

This horrid red filter for all these outdoor scenes on Mars is pretty hard on the eyes, but I expect it was probably a pretty clever way to shoot a bunch of footage with cheaper black and white film, and also camouflage some prop work and set dressing that would otherwise more strongly challenge the willing suspension of disbelief.

#monsterdon

“Loud and clear, four by four” vs “five by five”?

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

the plants are animals, calling it...

#Monsterdon

She wants to pick some plants

Call that Cinemagic: the Gathering

#Monsterdon

Mr. Colonel has the worst trigger discipline in the history of movies.
#Monsterdon

What is that a blunderbuss? #monsterdon

Special Effects Mattes by That One Guy Who Did Every Pulp Cover For Decades Who Sucks.

#monsterdon

Filmed in MigraneVision #Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

Wow, this production's so cheap we don't even get negative scratches. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon I think we've taken the "red" part a bit too far.

She has a good scream! That’s a #monsterdon leading lady!

#angryredplanet

Oh boy, are all the outdoor scenes going to have this red negative effect. ugh.

#monsterdon

What color is Mars again?
#monsterdon

This whole world is drawn! Get out of here!! #monsterdon

Is this CineMagic?

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

CINEMAGIC!!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon #cinemagic

You know what will set Irish's mind at rest? Talk to her about her curves.

"But there's nothing there now!"

And as we all know, if you can't see something immediately, it doesn't exist. #Monsterdon

@AlfNoProblem I agree! But it seems like they’re using it to show the slow passage of time #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Ooh, the set of her jaw when she says "Then use it."

Gives me shivers.

(Bah.)

I wonder what the alien is doing

#monsterdon

get her name right you misogynistic twat!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon She's shocked, she's hysterical! You see, her creepy crawly vagina just wanders around moaning and screaming. HYSTERICAL!

If you have a Hasselblad (?) camera around your neck and you see an alien through the window, why not take a photo of it?

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

how long is this "so you see, this WOMAN has space hysteria" shit going to go on for

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 😠 😡 🪐 🚀 🐀 🦇 🕷️ 👾 😱

so (a) always drug the chick so she doesn't have an emotion and (b) also drug the chick so you can see directly into her brain movies

I'm afraid her mind has become completely feminated. We'll have to smoke pipes until her memory clears

#Monsterdon

The guy arguing against drugging Iris is as close as they had to feminists in those days. #monsterdon

She can still hear you

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

lol, pump her full of drugs to get her to speak, how mid 20th century!

#Monsterdon

WINDOW MONSTER

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonMemes #TheAngryRedPlanet

#Monsterdon 😠 😡 🪐 🚀 🐀 🦇 🕷️ 👾 😱

there was a scary drawing of an alien at the spaceship porthole!

Dressed like they're on their way to bust the GHOSTS OF MARS

#Monsterdon

Bad acting meter...
#monsterdon

Burroughs computer product placement

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

"No no, I'll go. It's about time Iris and I had a chance to use this expensive equipment of ours."

...says the guy standing inside an interplanetary spaceship

#monsterdon

thank fucking God an alien

#monsterdon

"i'm going out there"

thank god. finally.

#monsterdon

Smarmy levels on the wall panel keep shifting from "Normal" to "Excessive" every time the Colonel Tom walks by.

#monsterdon

lol, such wild theories of what's outside, just fucking go outside

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

She has a teeny shoulder bag??

well, the colonel's kabe-donning him and calling him sammy, i think sam has a chance.

#monsterdon

Yes, the lack of plot has gotten us all
#monsterdon

First thing we do on Mars, light a pipe and have a good smoke.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon #cinemagic

Red sky at morning, astronaut take warning.

@allanb You insult Hogan's Heroes with the comparison! We settle this with explosives! At dawn!

#monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

Dude just twirled a semi-automatic pistol. Doomed. They’re all doomed.
#Monsterdon

Old movies love a comic relief guy who never says anything funny but mugs a lot

#Monsterdon

"indian country"

#monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

In space, no one can hear you talk like grandpa

whoops

#Monsterdon

She is providing impressive detail in her retelling of the events in spite of her purported memory difficulty.
#monsterdon

did sam just proposition his commanding officer???

#monsterdon

A .45 automatic was the solution to many risks in the 1950s. #monsterdon

"You keep the rocket clean. I'll do all the thinking. Woman." #monsterdon

“With all that vegetation out there, something’s bound to be alive.”

Like…the vegetation.

#Monsterdon

"nothing moves"

didn't know this movie was so meta as to comment on itself.

#monsterdon

After our montage we have reached the Red Planet and are doing a landing, which means everyone is in Serious Work Mode and is reading sensor reports. Then they trigger the retro rockets and start landing on Mars.

Also, it seems like there sensors are just blinking lights and they know how the read the blinking lights. I think I would also want a better placed window or camera or something to land on a planet.

#monsterdon

Rocket has smooooth suspension

#monsterdon

Gotta love how the view outside the rocket is spinning wildly but inside they all have normal gravity and nobody even needs a seatbelt

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

[computer console footage]

[crowd goes batshit]

#Monsterdon

RE: https://mastodon.social/@ottaross/115245336431446492

"Everyone repeat stuff someone else is saying"

#Monsterdon

I wouldn't be able to handle close quarters w/ this crew even for a short duration uh uh. Espesh the Colonel and the Warrant nah ope

#Monsterdon

The rocket is represented by a cartoon, and we get a montage of rocket ship life with the crew doing their space jobs and hobbies as they fly to mars. Jobs/Hobbies are as follows:

Radioguy: records records and stacks the magnetic tape. hobby: scifi magazines
Girl: types on typewriter and cleans microscope. hobby: perfumes herself
Professor/Pilot: not sure what they do, other than the professor plays chess.

#monsterdon

<strike>days in flight</strike> days filming 47

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Product placement, we have product placement people! Bulova watch company!

Apparently the core tech of that ship is magnetic tape #monsterdon

if the forward camera shows movement and the rear does not, something has gone wrong

#Monsterdon

Oh Canada?!
#monsterdon

As I recall this movie improves after they land.

Keeping in mind how incredibly low the bar is. #monsterdon

Nice nod to Fantastic, very cute

#Monsterdon

Lol, they brought pulp magazines

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

Trapped with 3 horny men in space, mission: dust and cook. #monsterdon

Oh great. Space travel with a guy who reads comics aloud.

#Monsterdon

Oh wow, I guess I got my answer. 😳 #Monsterdon

Picture this crew next to actual astronauts and the things they say...

#Monsterdon

Cupboard: cat food, cat food, beans, beans spam and spam

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Condition Z, we're all dead Jim. This is the Event Horizon! This ship has gone places you CANNOT UNDERSTAND.