Is that guy doing the comedy routine actually going space mad?

#Monsterdon

Okay, so we wheel out one of the astronauts a gurney and he's mutating or something. All the records on the rocket ship were erased, but the girl is alive but unconscious, so we hope that she can tell us what the deal is.

She's like sitting in a hospital bed but stirs enough so the doctor can ask her "what happened there?" and she's like "I can't remember!" So the dudes ask her to tell us everything that happened, triggering a flashback sequence...

#monsterdon

@aburka i dunno. do traditional gender roles mutate when exposed to radiation? #monsterdon

"...the girl!"
"To hell with radiation, let's go!"
"But sir!"
"Didn't you hear. It's a GIRL!"

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

To hell with radiation, there's a GIRL there!

#monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

In an actually kind of convincing VFX scene, the rocket does a retro burn and lands. I think I saw palm trees in the foreground, which I doubt there are many of those in Nebraska. My headcanon is that they are fake palm trees, because the airforce guys wanted to pretend they were in Hawaii.

#monsterdon

We go to Nebraska and at the air force base some army dudes are looking at the landing rocket with their cool turreted telescopes. Which are super cool. Everyone on the fediverse wants a turreted telescope.

#monsterdon

Ahhh, they did a rocket taking off in reverse to depict the landing.

#Monsterdon

Zero people have ever stood on the sidewalk watching the TV news in the window of a high street shop.

#monsterdon

I miss giving a shit about Countdowns, something else Elon Musk has destroyed

#Monsterdon

The footage of white men frobbing control panels was apparently very inexpensive. #monsterdon

Wait, X-1 or MR-1?

Also, that's a rather short period of time for it to get so close to Earth

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

Don't worry the rep from Morton Thiokol says the seals should be fine at this temperature. #monsterdon

This Angry Red Planet has been brought to you by Angry Red Washington

#Monsterdon

Exciting new fonts, now available in Washington!

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

So this was a feature film
#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature

@diazona the analogy has some flexibility

#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature

Wait so how did anyone know these dudes needed rescuing?

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature

This is the Monsterdon version of James Joyce’s Ulysses

#monsterdon #monsterdondoublefeature

@diazona Well, she finished him off so she wasn't fooling around
#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature

@klu9 OK so maybe the ancient ninja scrolls have unleashed the spirits somehow... I missed it

#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature

man's got Fus but does he have Roh and Dah?

#monsterdon #monsterdondoublefeature

I don't get the ninjas though

#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature

Th guys who found the scroll are trapped in a reality where they are forced to live the fantasy as Kaiju in rubber suits and everyone is seeing it, but it's all a mass hallucination

#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature

@paco @combatwombat @SnoopJ @anarchademic One wonders what happened right after this frame 😛

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonMemes

@moira

Wait, if none of this is showing up on camera, does that mean we're having a mass hallucination?

#Monsterdon

It's a mass-hallucination
#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature

@ohiofi
One of the producers is named Sid Pink, and this music feels like it's by his garage swing band.

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

“Smooth” by Rob Thomas ft. Santana begins playing

#monsterdon #monsterdondoublefeature

I can't work out if the kaiju is made of construction paper or failed dreams

#Monsterdon

@combatwombat @SnoopJ @anarchademic let's not forget that you posted the original screen capture that I always use for the memes, thanks for that!

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonMemes

That’s no projection mapping!!!
#monsterdon #monsterdondoublefeature

I’ll reiterate that, while I’ll make fun of Cinemagic even to my dying days, it was pretty creative. I kind of like the look.

And, with that, Mars fucks off into the vast void of space…or it doesn’t because it is bound to Sol and will orbit until it’s gobbled up by Sol’s expansion to a red giant in ~5 billion years.

Thanks, as always, to @Taweret for hosting, @cherizilla for #MonsterdonBingo, @ryan for hosting the livestream, and to all of you, for making it awesome!

#Monsterdon

@strangefour "Sorry" (not sorry) "for eating on the train", they say. THEY WILL PAY! #WrongFrogs #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature

The hep closing music sounds more like we just watched MARS A GOGO, not ANGRY RED PLANET.

#Monsterdon

Counterfactual War Of The Worlds by Either/Orson Wells.

#Monsterdon

Now I’m hungry… #monsterdon #monsterdondoublefeature

#monsterdon His name was Ib.

There are some really bad movies in here, y’all, but it’s an honor to 💩-post along with y’all!

#Monsterdon

And the moral of the story is that when choosing a destination for a space mission, one should select a place with a soothing, bland color and everything will be fine. Or shoot it in black and white, your choice #monsterdon

Yikes! Translation: Dontchu bring yo az back here. Ok? #monsterdon

Figured out how to add https://miru.miyaku.media/ to the Apple TV Owncast app as a favorite

#monsterdon #owncast

wut

what even happened

and what is the rat/bat/spider/nightmare up to... spinoff please

Thanks as always @Taweret for hosting and everyone for posting!

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

MARTIANS AS SPACE DOUCHES

#monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

#monsterdon It's called a circlejerk! We must STROKE HARD! ;)

@ramsey

Fragged by his own unit in Vietnam

#Monsterdon

@_L1vY_ yeah I can see it

#monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

Well that was something alright. Very riffable. Very 50s.

Thank you for another wonderful night of riffing #Monsterdon. Thank you @Taweret for hosting once again.

Hope everyone has a great week!

Something tells me this is the only film that ever used Cinemagic™ by Norman Maurer.

#Monsterdon

well i liked the Cinemagic™️ and the spinning eye blob monster was great
#Monsterdon

alas no bingoooooo

#monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

#monsterdon NO! STOP! MORE THORAZINE... *gurgle*

#monsterdon How's she going to maintain Condition A, huh? We've gotta be slumming it around J or something at this point.

@aburka 👏

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonMemes #TheAngryRedPlanet

@moira Clearly the Martians are not above a little hyperbole. #Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

This closing theme has a Lost In Space vibe.

#Monsterdon

Mars needs no vacationing earthmen
#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

THE END

GO HOME
#monsterdon

Okay, I know there were issues, but that movie actually had quite a lot going for it.

The story is not too bad, saving some very dated dialog.

And the effects were pretty good for the time.

Excellent concept art.

#Monsterdon

Well, that was a movie. I'd say that the crew fucked off back to Earth, but we kind of already knew that.

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

#monsterdon #cinemagic

This movie fucked off into a weird musical vamp. The acting sucked, and so did cinemagic. At least it got Earth right in the end. I am reminded of Ed Wood, though..

#Monsterdon #theangryredplanet What is with this adult, jazzy version of the Jetsons theme?

I think "aliens who think they're superior" should be added to the bingo card. #monsterdon

and that's, uh, it for this #monsterdon - roll credits and enjoy some groovy music!

may I never here that beep gun again

#monsterdon

So ends another #Monsterdon with the masterpiece, #theangryredplanet. Our thanks to @Taweret for hosting, and for everyone lurking and posting. And remember #Monsterdoners: The hell with radiation; let's go!

"Do not come here. Especially that icky misogynist guy with the open shirt. Keep him far away."

#monsterdon

SUDDEN SWING BAND #monsterdon

#monsterdon Don't talk, that's what smoking that frikken pipe does to you. COPD you dumbass. Someone help me attach this plunger to his mouth-hole so we can plunger up the gunk.

Way to harsh our buzz, Mars. #monsterdon

All these worlds are yours, except ~~Europa~~ Mars.

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

#monsterdon #cinemagic

The Martians are correct!

and so they never went outside again

ty for joining, everyone!!!

#monsterdon

@moira

The last tape!

#Monsterdon

even the martians are exhausted by watching this plot plod along

#Monsterdon

We were emitting radio signals for centuries?
#monsterdon

Tom, put on a fucking shirt!

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe Feels like something out of a Monty Python skit

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

lol, Humanity is getting told.....

#Monsterdon

never thought I'd see that in a monsterdon movie 🥴
#monsterdon

"then we'll subject Tom to electric shocks. Just short of being harmful to him"

awwww

#Monsterdon

"...any electrical shock strong enough to kill the growth will kill Tom."
"I know........"

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

this entire movie was a wrong choice.

#monsterdon

These control panels are magnificent

#Monsterdon

I don't know about you, but double popped collars just SCREAM "SERIOUS SCIENCE" to me

#monsterdon

Doctor, do we have an extremely rusty centrifuge

#Monsterdon

Colonel Tom could have avoided this if he kept his cuffs buttoned as per SOP #monsterdon

lol "Science Tubes"

big Ivanka Trump energy there

#Monsterdon

I can't help but feel Iris would have been better off without the rest of them

I guess except for her terrible instincts at avoiding tentacles

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

SLAP HIM

not for any medical reason just because he's a jackass

#monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

I forget that telescopes in the 1950s didn’t have enough resolution to get a really good image of Mars, so these folks assumed it had…clam shells?…and dots?…on it.

#Monsterdon

aww crap, they're going to save Tom

#Monsterdon

"...what was the warning? What did the voice say?"
"It ...... said ............... drink ..... more ... Ovaltine."

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

Wait wait that's a Mysterious Death!

BINGO!

#Monsterdon

that arm looks delicious and she's gonna pretend she don't remember anyway

#Monsterdon

@YsengrinWolf #monsterdon

well... she ran out of food, see...?

@gnomon What a bunch of professionals! Yeah, that's it! #Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

So the professor is stressed out, then dies for no reason, then the girl wanders to the upper deck and sees that the pilot is lying in his bunk and his arm is covered with green slime, so she treats him somehow.

then seeing Mars in the rear view mirror, she putters around the control room (which is a mess now because the front came off of the computer.

#monsterdon

Nice painting of Mars

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

Professor pipe-smokin has died... But he never really contributed anything to the plot. Hell the freeze ray was more important as a character.
#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

lol, this is like the aftermath of some wild party....

"why are my keys in thee toilet?"

#Monsterdon