“I consider… consider… consider… myself the luckiest… luckiest… luckiest… man on Mars… Mars… Mars…”

#Monsterdon

“Women don’t have any monopoly on fear.”

This is about as far into feminism as a 1950s movie is willing to go.

#Monsterdon

Turns out the real monster is the film's runtime.

#monsterdon #theangryredplanet

Why is the view through the portal blue?

#monsterdon

I need that box. #monsterdon

there's no reason to go outside, if that's what you're asking

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Live from the Sunset Strip! CARNIVOROUS PLANTS. With a snap determination of that, they could just be after mold slime, but now, we'll just use Earth terms and be bigots about it.

#Monsterdon #theangryredplanet That's his emotional support pipe.

"Like the super intelligence that keeps a colony of ants working in perfect unity back on earth."

👀 @futurebird 🐜

#monsterdon

Back the fuck off Colonel, back the fuck off

#Monsterdon

OMG they are still talking.
#Monsterdon

The science isn't terrible for the era. They certainly read enough of the '50s scifi mags to pilfer ideas for this one!

#monsterdon

Meanwhile, in the background, the oscilloscope begs to be released from the wall.

"Please....I'm a serious piece of test equipment...."

#monsterdon #theangryredplanet

Do you think the whole crew should leave the rocket at the same time to explore the martian jungle? #monsterdon

I love seeing the paunchy physique of the 1950s actors. It's refreshingly authentic.
#Monsterdon

Gaia theory but on Mars?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaia_hypothesis

#Monsterdon

This forest is so quiet.

Maybe it's a "Dark Forest" scenario..?

SSSHHH!! Everybody...

#Monsterdon

They have PhDs in speculation.

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou MASERS

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

@Zerofactorial It's an ass plant, that's all.

#monsterdon

I don't like what they're implying about this plant creature's motives.

#monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

#Monsterdon "Neuromuscular skeletal creature."

…

Dude, what? Seriously what kind of pseudoscience word vomit are you spewing? Gordi LaForge wouldn't understand that hot nonsense.

It’s always the hubris of humans to consider everything else a “lower life form.”

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Tom is kind of a dick.

Is he going to make a pass at the space rifle

#Monsterdon

"Every swash I ever had just became unbuckled" 🤦 🤦 🤦

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

It's just some piping and a wooden stock, Sam

#Monsterdon

"It wasn't just a friendly embrace"

#Monsterdon #AngryRedPlanet1959

The luma key blur effect is more upsetting than the angry red. I wonder how they did that… and why.

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

Sammy's gonna freeze his own dick off isn't he
#monsterdon

Sam likes that gun a bit too much

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

"Any swash I had just came unbuckled"
Idk, what was so funny about that, but that gave me a good laugh
#Monsterdon

I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken. He did have a space machete #Monsterdon

Starting to think they made this whole movie just for the deep fried xerox zine-o-vision

#Monsterdon

Was that plant as um Georgia Okeefe looking before they added the red filter?
#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

#Monsterdon
#TheAngryRedPlanet

Oh, I get it. There's the Venus Fly Trap and now we have the Mars Fly Trap.
No chlorophyll (that one finds on Earth) and neurological system says FUNGUS.

#Monsterdon

"Neuromuscular vegetal creature" is some damn fine nonsense

let's never go outside again

#monsterdon

a neuro-muscular vegetable creature

#monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

#monsterdon What about the blue sky? Now it's bright orange! Ah well, colors are just accidents of matte backgrounds after all.

"What do you say we go back to the ship?"

"Yeah, we have discovered exactly one thing on Mars. That's enough for one day."

#monsterdon

"...any swash I had just came unbuckled"
"You're cleaning out your own suit, Sam."

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

#Monsterdon 😠 😡 🪐 🚀 🐀 🦇 🕷️ 👾 😱

"We've had enough exploring and swashbuckling for one day"

The woman-eating plant sounded a lot like a Sleestak.
#Monsterdon

They squeaked the tentacle to death.
#monsterdon

thank god

#monsterdon

“If I just point this gun-looking barrel at the plant, it will make a very loud beeping sound that will destroy the plant.”

#Monsterdon

@Taweret why do you hate cinemagic :(

#monsterdon

This movie has some annoying noises, but that freeze ray that doesn't shoot any optical effects is the worst so far.
#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

Come over to this side where it's really obscene looking! #Monsterdon

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
#monsterdon

I guess you owe Tom a blow job now, well that's what he thinks anyway

#Monsterdon

MONSTER PLANT-VINE-TENTACLE ATTACK

#monsterdon

Tentacle uses menacing scoot!
It is very effective!
#monsterdon

A giant vagina with tentacles. There, I said it.

#Monsterdon #AngryRedPlanet1959

Please stop calling her Irish. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #theangryredplanet And suddenly we're in a Japanese tentacle flick.

martian flytrap, I see what you did there

#monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

@Lazarou they did it on the Orville

This would have been a fun Orville episode actually, they find a planet where everything is red

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

@Lazarou

HENTAI ALERT!

#MONSTERDON

FEED ME

#monsterdon

The effect of adding a red filter and a little bit of solarizing on black and white footage is cheap and stupid and kinda genius. Amazing bit of work from one of the Three Stooges son in laws.
#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

#Monsterdon

Sorry, but "Forbidden Planet" was less cheesy than this and it predates it by what, 5 years?

Edit: no, only 3

@moira This is probably chloropete

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

"I'm tracing this vine" Umm.. if anime has taught me anything... #Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

the red dyed film is actually pretty cool #Monsterdon

a nervous system. okay, so we showed up, murdered one of them first thing, and now we're snapping their photos like cursed paparazzi. the plants can eat them now.

#monsterdon

I'm foreshadowing, of course. #Monsterdon

I love these drawings, and of course I hate the RED. It is an ANGRY RED.

#Monsterdon

no chlorophyll because chlorophyll only works on like two specific wavelengths and EVERYTHING HERE IS NONE OF THEM

#monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

Hey Iris, my kid drew this. Wanna hook up?

#Monsterdon

@kcarr2015 um... I guess I can only say that you and I remember that series very differently

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

The original deep fried meme. #monsterdon

I wish we hadn't gone outside

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I should watch this with the rest of the lights off, to preserve my might vision.

#Monsterdon "Ultra Sonic Freeze Gun?"

Also, it's five by five, you assholes. A four by four is a jeep.

This guy's way too lax with his gun #Monsterdon

ultrasonic freeze guns SUCK

#Monsterdon

"I wish I had never come here, and I don't want to see no more magic"

-Samwise Gamgee

#monsterdon

I hope they meet Matango #monsterdon

MOAR CINEMAGIC!

#Monsterdon

okay I need the rest of the movie to not look like this

#monsterdon

Lol. Yeah this is cinemawhateverthefudge. "Cinemagic". Solarizing black and white film plus red dye. #monsterdon

Anyone else feel like we should have put our faceplates on before coming out? #Monsterdon

"We're looking for alien life but we're going to ignore an eye witness account and make fun of the description... now lets go look for real alien life!"
​:neocat_facepalm:​

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

Ah and now we see the famed Cinemagic Distortion Field of Mars

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

@flowerpot

"Who Framed Angry Red Planet?"

#Monsterdon

@cd0 I think that's an evergreen bingo square... gotta keep things interesting, y'know

#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

Are they stepping into a cartoon? very cool
#Monsterdon

Check your oxygen gauges.

Yup! I have an oxygen gauge!

#monsterdon

dude why are you giving orders, nobody's followed them in the past....

#monsterdon

okay I kinda hate this effect ngl

#monsterdon

It's very color filter weather outside today on Mars.
#Monsterdon #TheAngryRedPlanet

OK, who just said "these edibles ain't shit"?

#Monsterdon

That sure is an angry red. #Monsterdon

Wanda: Suddenly we're in a Hitchcock movie.

Hahaha, oh so we’re taking “Red Planet” VERY literally!!! #Monsterdon

Unconvincing matte painting time #monsterdon

Now I’m angry, red planet.

#Monsterdon

didn't know they had tropical jungles on mars.

#monsterdon

is one of these astronauts...equipped with a flamethrower?

IS THIS CHECKOV'S FLAMETHROWER?!

#monsterdon