#Monsterdon🧔♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱
Wow I've never seen those constellations
#Monsterdon🧔♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱
Wow I've never seen those constellations
"And you too, Glaucoma, the goddess of getting puffs of air blown into your eyeballs when you're getting your glasses prescription checked."
So much for the Olympus Truth and Reconciliation Commission....
Death becomes her. #monsterdon
keep expecting to hear the mst3k theme on these moon pans
Hercules gave us the moon and the lunar calendar.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985
@Lazarou Right! no problems on the surface for anyone at all. #Monsterdon #TheAdventuresofHercules1985
Now... very carefully... yeet the moon into a tidally locked orbit. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985
AH FUCK
Big Her done threw the EARTH into space this time
Ain't shit about to stop that thing, Big Her! Ya dun gooft!
And now we know why Kansas is so flat.
And so begins the long story of Alpha Moonbase and Space: 1999
Atlas popping back in after an extended coffee break, shouting "WHAT THE SAM HILL HAVE YOU PEOPLE BEEN DOING?!"
The last thunderbolt is in her? They stole that from The Fifth Element. #monsterdon
He'd have an enormous Schwanzstucker! #Monsterdon #Hercules1985
This feat is almost Atlassian.
That Tron fight with Minos was bonkers.
The thing about the Bechdel test is that the things the women say don't need to make any damn sense.
#monsterdon
And here's the 1-1 pitch to Hercules...
@SnoopJ LMBO!!!!! #Monsterdon #TheAdventuresofHercules1985
"If another danger arises, we are surely doomed, can mankind survive?"
"Why yes, if they turn their backs on the ways of chaos and science. By refusing vaccinations and only drinking unpasteurised milk like Hercules does!".
"Chaos has been defeated."
But this entire movie is Chaos. I have no idea what's going on. #Monsterdon
Moonfall!!! #monsterdon #hercules1985
This is why you think ahead a few decades when thinking about where to hide divine artifacts. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985
@ricci I suppose it was closer to the 70's
jesus fuck, was Greece built on Gamera's back or some shit?
What
#Monsterdon
GODZILLA
Meanwhile stock footage volcano from a completely different much older movie.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985
This is fine.
Hera why did you hide a lightning bolt in your kid anyway?
lightened to death by Hera. ow.
forbidden yuri
Wow, this is kabuki level ironic conflict of family and duty.
#monsterdon #Hercules1985
#Monsterdon🧔♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱
'Mother, give me the kiss of death' is literally a thing I have wished for from time to time due to family hijinx
The movie is going to be resolved by two women kissing...
Damn, not what I thought that was gonna be. #Monsterdon
This is why goddesses shouldn't have kids #Monsterdon
I just referred to Zeus as Sky Santa and I can’t stop laughing.
look, pulling the sword from anthy never did her any harm, why is this going to be different?
Now do battle with these yellow drawings. #monsterdon
Zeus launches back into exposition immediately after the line art space battle
"and now mother, you must do what fate demands of you: END THIS FUCKASS MOVIE" #monsterdon
Wait, this was ripped off from the Dr. Who Key To Time sequence.
The last thunderbolt is love.
CALLED IT. HERA IS THE THUNDERBOLT. FUCKING KNEW IT
Minos is nonplussed. Sorry..
#monsterdon "His savagery has been canceled."
...but give him a year and he'll be doing the talk show circuit.
'After that, it's just a knock-off Laserium®.'
welp, someone's having a seizure now
Gotta admit, I'm actually kind of impressed they were able to make a film *less* comprehensible than the original film. I have no idea what's happening right now. #Monsterdon
Someone bought an animation package and didn’t know what to do with it, right? #monsterdon #hercules1985
This just in: Khronos is just a glowing skull. Good to know. Cheap to cast. #monsterdon
There's more silently happening in this animation than there was in the entire rest of the movie.
The mocap for this must have been off the chain. #Monsterdon
MINZILLA
You have defeated my science, Hercules, but can you defeat .. EVOLUTION?
Spearmint Gorilla loves Peppermint Godzilla
Minos, didn't you already use that sword?!
what
the
FUCK
is
happening
#monsterdon
WAIT NOW WE'RE GODZILLA VS KONG?! #monsterdon
They rotoscoped a light-sabre fight from a "Star Wars" film.
This continuity has Greek gods AND dinosaurs. I'm gobsmacked. #Monsterdon
Tie the girl to a rock and then expose yourself? Creep.
What! We have kaiju! #monsterdon
Lamest Tron ever. #Monsterdon
[rotoscoping intensifies]
animated hercules is a much better actor than live-action hercules
Shades of Tron. #Monsterdon
Pure energy. Okay
It is called CGI, Hercules. It is the future. Your muscles cannot save you.
“I HAVE THE POWER!”
They've put him on the game grid...
... and then we TRON'd #monsterdon
Minos: “Here, Hercules. Fight these cartoons.”
PEC FLEX
wuh oh here we go, it's animation time
@GeoffWozniak honestly you're not wrong, if Ferringo had been as over the top as this guy, he might've been putting in a something that might read as a performance
WHY DOES HE HAVE EYE LASERS
I guess to be fair Minos did then yeet himself into space so it's cool
Apparently, much like the number zero, they hadn't invented "not aiming at the shield yet"
What fetishes are _not_ engendered in the young by this film?
Crush the Earth! Crush the Earth!
🤞
#Monsterdon
Well, Dedalos genital armor has not saved her anyway.
#monsterdon
#hercules1985
This movie is like a fundamentalist Christian, treating science like it's evil magic. #Monsterdon
There are many Doctor Who episodes with better production values than this #monsterdon #hercules1985
Remember this shield you threw away last time? Try not to lose it again, hero. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985
Kind of a MAGA "evil science" theme #monsterdon
I'm sorry Minos your grant application has been rejected by the Evil Science Foundation, you may re-submit next year
Let's just make anything we want to happen. Sure, Father Time will zap batwoman from chaos and.. wut??
Why is the checkerboard floor made of leather?
So, wait, the spider queen was known to all of them, but had the thunderbolt in her?
So she acquired the thunderbolt when it was stolen from Zeus?
I suppose any amount of thinking is overthinking on this thing.
#monsterdon #hercules1985
Now it's time for Carrie Fisher's life-day song.
EAT SKULL RAYS!
you are the thing, i am the exact opposite of that thing. we are the same.
uh...
Zeus' man cave has disappointing cheesy art in it
#Monsterdon
Flora is played by Laura Lenzi, who played the mom in Lucio Fulci’s cursed archeological horror film, Manhattan Baby (1982).
I wondered if she is related to director Umberto Lenzi but judging from their bios and an IMDb collaboration search, I doubt it.