That light sword sounded more like a vibrator
#Monsterdon

Careful Herc, he's using anbo-jyutsu, the purest form of martial arts!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Giant mushroom prop from a children's amusement park
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

What a good-natured chuckle. #Monsterdon

"The Woods Of Over Dramatic Background Music"

#Monsterdon

disrespectful demigods traipsing through the ghost forest for clicks, booooooo

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

cool Halloween decorations

"Land of Lost Souls"

#Monsterdon

Lotta wipes going on. Are we gonna get a star wipe?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Petrified stone person: *blinks*

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Minos, with Science, The Anti-God.

#monsterdon

clash of the Titans came out four years before this

#monsterdon

That extra with her arms up drew the short straw, the winner is slumped in a corner

#Monsterdon

thank you, hercules, half god of exposition #monsterdon

I'm coming.

Yes, do come.

Most awkward sex banter ever.

#monsterdon

I know they're underground but there has been a lack of enemies yeeted into Space....

#Monsterdon

Be stilled here! Forever! Like stone! With me! Here! In this place! Where I am!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

So, for international womens day we have #Hercules1985 and his faithful sexy dressed lady fighters.
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Watch out Hercules for the posing strap Balrog.

love how they just painted an extra and made him sit still

#Monsterdon

Who is she? Urealie? #monsterdon

Now not oiled
#Monsterdon

@bryanhowell #monsterdon

They're SAFETY lights, silly!

Oh wait! I heard her name. Wrong. Euryale. Hah hah. Oh mythological siblings.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Must be nice not being the green guy this time

#monsterdon

Check out the nails!

#Monsterdon

"How can we tell?"

"They do lots of evil stuff. you'll know it when you see it."

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"Quick! Inside the Stone mouth!"
is not something you hear every day

#Monsterdon

Quick! Inside the stone mouth! We'll hold them with suction!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Glaucia. Urania. Is this gonna be on the chemistry midterms?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"The slime people" is that a slur? I'm sure the muckmen have a very ancient and deep culture.
. . . Oh wait no they just gurgle and backflip into frame.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

@Newpa_Hasai messy Olympian polycule #Monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai #monsterdon

ikr couldn't the gods just consult the God of Therapy instead?

"Who awakens me? I distinctly remember being dead apparently." #monsterdon

Bye character who will "consent to anything", guess that didn't work out so well. #monsterdon

"who awakens me?!"

brother you were DEAD why is that your first question

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Flora fights with the most awesome weapon of all. Histamine.

Sanguinomancy is some powerful stuff. Remember how it made Circe hot? #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

SO the gods are so evil and stupid they resurrect Lex Luthor, err um Minos from the last movie? I guess one actor other than Lou returned. He was a charismatic enough villain. So sure.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

This is a better He-Man movie than the He-Man movie

#Monsterdon

This Minos guy better be worth it

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Must be nice to have the gods on speed-summon

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

lol, tough shit Golus!

#Monsterdon

Oops, I forgot to poke air holes in the box!

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

🎶 bang, bang, maxwell's silver hammer... 🎶

#monsterdon

hahah zap to the face, sucka

#monsterdon

Literally everyone in this movie is given 200 lines of expositional dialogue to move the story along.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

After the last one someone told the director "I DARE you to make less sense" and the director was like, "Hold my beer" #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon IS THAT CHEWBACCA!

The Secrets of Darkness, not to be confused with The Army of Darkness.

#monsterdon

So the ghillie suit was actually a thunderbolt.

What kind of drugs were necessary to write this? #monsterdon

This guy sounds like a man of our times...

#Monsterdon

So she hired an obedient fool to take on Herc. Good choice.
#Monsterdon

Tutorial boss

#Monsterdon

Electric Type Hercules.

Pika-Herc?

Hercule-Chu?

#monsterdon

He's consent to *any* request?
No safewords?

Ho ho.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Oh. Bolt get at 20 minutes in. Nicely done, Herc. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

TAKE THAT MAN IN GHILLIE SUIT! #monsterdon

Better save after this

#Monsterdon

I would NOT say that the movie-going public is “crying out” for Hercules. Most are indifferent towards him

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

We’re gonna get a new constellation this time, right? Right‽

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

one-punch that yeti
#Monsterdon

The children of the night would like to start a band with you

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

So if Zeus doesn't have his seven thunderbolts, the moon crashes into earth... Cool. #monsterdon

He looks .... tense, on that horse
#Monsterdon

Wait, if Zeus is deploying Hercules, what was the prophecy needed for?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

"They are crying for Hercules, oh Zeus."

"Crying is kind of a strong word, isn't it?"

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"This is just a tempoprary rush job, right? The real movie isn't going to look like this, is it?" #monsterdon

oh, it's the plot to Bring Herc Back.

ok, sure.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Oops, a glolden shower... that's how you get babies from Zeus. Tinkle tinkle little star…

“Mothra’s not here right now but you can leave a message” #Monsterdon

#monsterdon And now the Shinto are utterly confused…

they've lost control! they're playing Universe Pool!

#monsterdon

This escalated quickly!

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

Urania?

#Monsterdon

A torii gate made of Stonehenge rocks? Little people? Twin Fairies!?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

It's the mothra ladies! #monsterdon

NEVERMIND THE INCONGRUENT ARCH

#monsterdon

Love the big red arch in the middle of nowhere

#Monsterdon

There's some sort of Ferrigno-less exposition happening. Why? Not sure. #monsterdon

Meanwhile, in The Land Before Time

#Monsterdon

much writing

very script

wow

#Monsterdon

so far, this could be a medium-budget porn

#monsterdon

Artax?

#monsterdon

Chaining virgins to rocks, the start of so many quality stories

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

✅ maiden turned into steam engine

#Monsterdon

DID THEY STRAIGHT STEAL THE MONSTER FROM FORBIDDEN PLANET???!!!

#Monsterdon #Hulkules2

I see that the entire film budget went into the script.

#Monsterdon

She's being attacked by a monster made entirely of scratches on the negative. #monsterdon

"if someone asks if you're a god, YOU SAY YES!"

#monsterdon

I love how Cannon perfected the look of simultaneously spending too much and not enough money

#Monsterdon

If dude's color scheme was black instead of red, that'd be a killer Death Metal outfit.

#monsterdon

"The fires await her silken flanks!"

#MOnsterdon

"Unleashed the forces of chaos and evil"

yeah, we're living in one of those times, thanks...

#Monsterdon

Due to poor procurement planning, Zeus only acquired 7 fully operational thunderbolts from Hephestus

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon

I like how we're 8 minutes into the movie and yet no new footage...

#Monsterdon

I wonder if people who say gen AI isn't creative and just regurgitates old stuff have seen The Adventures of Hercules

Humans can do it too

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Damn bullet-sponge robotic centaurs.

"embiggens"

#monsterdon

Not sure if I can stand watching Luigi Cozzi movies two weeks in a row, but I’ll play it by ear.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985